Sorority Girl/Frat Guy
 

So I was talking to one of my guy friends who's in a frat which shall remain nameless, and he was telling me that even though he's a guy and he's in a frat, he doesn't consider himself to be a frat guy. So my question to everyone is: do you consider yourself to be a sorority girl/fraternity boy or just a girl/guy in a GLO, and do you see a difference between the two?

-Masha:)

My first rush on the other side was part of one of my finest "Phi Mu moments."

We had alphabet blocks spelling out PHI MU, and five sisters gave a speech about Phi Mu -- each sister had a letter that corresponded with what they were supposed to talk about. For example, the girl with I was supposed to talk about how she'd been Inspired to join the group, the girl with U talked about the Unity and sisterhood she'd seen while she'd been a sister, etc.

I had P, so I made the first speech about how Proud I was to be a Phi Mu.

My speech started off with how I'd thought being in a sorority was about boys and drinking and screwing each other over. That I hated sorority girls and couldn't deal with what they stood for and never thought I'd end up in a sorority. Then I talked about what Phi Mu had come to mean to me... the sisterhood, the selflessness I'd seen in the girls, the interest they took in making sure each girl was getting every chance she could to be the best woman she could be.

Then I ended up by saying, I'm glad I'm not a sorority girl. I'm a Phi Mu.

I think I see myself as a sorority girl, in the sense that I'm in a GLO, I love my sisters and I know how to have a good time.

But I also have many other facets to my personality as well, and I'm not defined by my GLO at all times. So I don't consider myself a "sorority girl" in that sense. And not in the sense that I wear my lil black frat pants and go slutting it up at the frats (pole dance contests excluded ;) ) But I do have very close friends who are fraternity brothers, so I guess in that sense I am a sorority girl.

I dunno. I guess it depends on what mood I'm in ;-)

This thread definately hits home with me--
When I was living in DC, I had the most HORRIBLE roomates, who all had not been greek and thought sorority girls were slightly better than serial killers. Literally, they would make horrible comments to me about how they would love to have me come out with them but they didn't want to be seen with a sorority girl or people would think they were sorority girls. It was horrible!
When I finally told them I was moving out and moving to Atlanta to be closer to my college friends and to my parents, one of them looks at me and goes(AND I QUOTE)

"You know, Atlanta really is that city for sorority girls that need their mommies and daddies....DC is the city for people with strength and backbone" (seriously, I could have been a serial killer at that moment)
But when I took a moment to breathe, I realized that

A. I was a sorority girl, because that meant I had a legacy of loyalty, sisterhood, friendship, and bonds that no one else but sorority girls understand
AND
B.I did need my mom and dad, I loved them more than life itself, and because of them, I understood how important FAMILY is

So, what I am sure the roomate from hell thought was a comment to destroy turned out to be compliment.

I AM a PROUD sorority women and a DAMN PROUD AOTT

I like HotDamn's answer. :) I personally don't see myself as a stereotypical sorority girl in that I don't own a piece of clothing from Express and my last shopping trip was to the Salvation Army (hey, I found a great suede jacket for cheap!), but my friends would probably tell you different since I'm the most "frou-frou" one of the bunch...I love chiffon and my perfume collection. :D

Is it just me, or do the terms "sorority girl" and "frat boy" belittle people to begin with? Perhaps you are girls and boys when you pledge, but by the time you're ready to graduate, I would hope you are women and men.

Then, there's the ongoing discussion about the term "frat," but that's been debated in other threads.

Personally, I would like to think of all of you younger Greek brothers and sisters as "sorority women" and "fraternity men." I find the other descriptions to be demeaning -- and probably meant to be so.

Although some Greek members may not live up to those "higher" terms, I would like to hope that most do.

I consider myself a "fraternity man" not a "frat boy." I swear that term is like calling someone an "asshole" or something. Yet people, even greeks still use it like it's going out of style.

You know you wouldn't say America is a Cu*^, you would say it's a country. Get what I'm saying? There ya go.

I think maybe my freshman year I sort of fit the fraternity boy type. I was pretty wild and out of control then. I have since grown up quite a bit and take school much more serious.

Delt Alumn, well said, of course. But then what else would I expect?

I'm a sorority woman, then, for sure.

I've never considered myself a typical sorority girl, but then again what is a "typical" sorority girl? I've never met such a diverse group of people than I did in my college greek days. You had everythin from the dirt poor putting themselves through school to the trust fund babies whose daddies bought them new cars. I fell somewhere in the middle of that.

I will admit however that since becoming alum, I catch myself squeling around my sisters, using words like "um" "totally" "for sure" and "like yeah", and even though I'm *eh hem* older - I still talk about the sorority like its the only thing in my life (despite finally graduating, having a spouse, a little boy, and another bub on the way!)


I do consider myself a damn proud Alpha Gam!

Yeah, I'm a frat guy. Whatever.

I dont like being called a frat boy. I'm a fraternity man.

Damasa, I thought about that quote too. The fraternity brothers on my campus were all about that turn of phrase.

i used to use that country thing too...till i realized that i call my telephone a phone.

Last year on the first day of a class I had, we had to interview each other. I was paired with this guy who was I believe 29 years old and was returning back to school for another degree... and he was not Greek. I told him about the things that I'm involved in and I said I was in a sorority, Delta Gamma. His first response was, "Do you consider yourself a sorority girl?" I said "uh yeah." Then he gets up in front of the class reading my bio and goes, "And she doesn't mind being called a sorority girl." I didn't care that he said that, it was more his tone-- like it was in this mocking sense. How rude?! There were also girls in other houses in my class... but they didn't mention that they were in sororities. After his turn, I read his bio, wearing my Anchor Ball t-shirt. I'm proud to be a sorority woman and very proud to be a Delta Gamma.

True, but I don't know about you, but I put more emphasis on my country and my fraternity than I do my telephone.

the Delta Chis at my school were all about that particular turn of phrase as well. All the funnier since the only guys with a house on campus referred to their house as "the frat house." The Kappa Sigs were simple guys. :)

I agree with DeltAlum (as usual) about defining the terms. While I wouldn't call myself a sorority girl (or sorority chick), I know that I have friends who would do so. What they know about fraternity or sorority life could be written on the head of a pin!

Sorority Woman...
 

Every person I've ever told, face to face, that I was in a Sorority has been taken aback. They look at me with that "you?? no way" face. Do I have a 3rd eye? a MoHawk? Rainbow colored hair? No teeth? No, nothing of that sort. I'm just not your "typical sorority girl".
First of all, I'm opinionated (lol, which is both good and bad at times), I'm active at school, I'm outgoing, I'm a brunette, I'm "over-weight" (:rolleyes: i hate that term, what "weight" is the magic one that you are either over or under???:rolleyes: ) *which I think is the biggest problem they have (no pun intended) with picturing me in a sorority* and I'm "different". See, by different, I mean I'm not afraid to be a leader, to do what I want to do and not care what other people think.....If i want to wear my pjs to class because it's comfortable (although i've not done that, i can see myself doing it ;) ) I've been a tomboy for most of my life, hanging around guys and being friends with guys all through HS. I joined a sorority to meet and make girl friends, because I knew I was missing out on somethings (like girltalk!!!) but I've made my share of guy friends through being a sorority (ironic, but true).
If you measure me by "typical sorority girl standards", I don't fit into most of the clothes in express so I guess I don't own much from there. I love my fraternity guy friends (Sig Eps rock my world! Love to the SPE's out there) and I hang out with them a lot, but I don't "make my way through the house" so to speak. :rolleyes: I know how to have fun without getting drunk, I like to dance without turning it into a stripclub, and I can not only handle life in a blow-dryer pink and fluffy world, but I can live 2 months in primitive camping environment (i worked as a girl scout counselor all summer long). I can get dressed up one night and then get down and dirty outside the next....I can throw a football and paint my nails......I can write calligraphy and appreciate a good hockey game, rinkside......I am a woman in every meaning of the word, and if I don't fit into some "sorority girl mold" I'm not sorry....I'm not one thing, I'm many. But one of the things that makes me the most proud, is that I can say
I am a Delta Gamma
Greek Love and Mine
Mandie

do you call your country a cunt? maybe if you failed english 1301. call it a count and see if anyone cares. don't get me wrong--i disagree with the usage of "frat" in place of fraternity....i just allocate my attention to more important matters at hand--like whether tomorrow is a shoes or sandals day. i have the utmost respect and pride in my fraternity, which is why anyone calling us a "frat" wouldn't even scratch the surface of my skin let alone get the time of day.

I haven't heard that saying since 1987. SAE's at my school thought that they all but came up with it themselves.
(And I can't bring myself to even copy and paste the c-word. I must be getting old.)

If someone called me a "sorority girl" now I'd be just as flattered as when I got carded the other night buying beer at a concert.

Yes, I get it. It's rather hard to miss that two-by-four. But, just like every other time it gets hauled out and swung around, it's a lame -- make that way lame -- analogy.

Of course, one wouldn't call one's country a ___. And the reason has absolutely nothing to do with it being disrespectful to shorten the name of something or someone one cares about. If that were the case, we would always say "America" or "The United States of America." This "USA" dissing would be out the door. (Question though: Is it okay to call someone else's country a ___? Just curious.) And what would we do about all those folks who love their 'burg or their 'hood. Not to mention all the folks go to school at or root for 'Bama or Ole Miss. (Come to think of it, I guess those CalTech and SUNY students have no respect for their schools either.)

No, the reason one wouldn't call one's country a ___ is because unlike 'burg, 'hood, 'Bama, Ole Miss, or, yes, frat, the "c-word" can actually be found in the dictionary (those that will print it anyway) as a word with one and only one meaning that is pretty-much universally considered obscene and offensive, especially to women.

When the general population starts writing "frat" as "f#*t" (oh but wait -- I guess it would have to be "fr*t" so it wouldn't get confused with "f*rt"), then the old "would you call your country..." analogy might have legs. Until then, give it a rest -- the case against using the word "frat" can be made much more effectively without it.

I never invented the analogy, I just used it as an example. The fact of the matter is that no matter what, the word is disrespectful and that's how I see the word "frat" in most cases. Although I think you missed that point :(

I dislike being called a frat boy probably as much as you would hate to hear that Sinfonia is a "fake fraternity." (Not that I agree with that statement in the least.)

Is that better to understand? I don't want you to have to type another page response.

Damasa, I think you miss my point. (And I don't think I ever said you invented the analogy. I just said that I don't think it is an analagy worth using.)

To put it a little more plainly, I respect completely that you consider the word "frat" disrespectful. Many, many people (mostly Greek) agree with you. Depending on the context in which it is used I would agree with you. (That is to say, I tend not be offended by the word "frat" unless it is used with the intent of being offensive or dismissive. Some people just don't know better. And I don't use the word myself.)

But, since many people don't know better, the reality is that many, many people do not think of "frat" as an offensive word. They just think of it as short-hand. (As suggested above, of course, some people unquestionably do mean the word to be dismissive at best or offensive at worst.) In this way, it differs from the "country" analogy, because the shortened form there is a word that no one could possible think isn't offensive.

So, when someone weighs in on the "frat" controversy with a simple "Would you call your country your ___?," my response is: "Of course not. But, given that we shorten words in English -- even names of institutions that we care about -- all the time, what does that have to do with why "frat" is offensive?"

Because it is a bad analogy, it weakens the argument of the person who uses it. We'd make a lot more headway if, instead of just saying "Don't call it a 'frat'! Would you call your country...?," we would actually explain why we find the word "frat" offensive -- because it carries an "Animal House" connotation, because it is stereotypical, because it suggests a lack of respect for an institution that means a great deal to us, etc. A response like that is much more likely to elicit an "Oh. I see. I've learned something and will try not to use it."

I hope this makes some sense.

Edited to add: Sorry, I didn't see your edit until after a posted my post.

Do the words Boy and Girl remind you of little kids who are still tugging at Mommy and Daddys clothes?

The only Fraternity that I know of that comes close to Frat is TKE, who call their Brothers Fraters, but not boys!

When you become a member of a Greek Org. you are No longer little kids! Dah. There are many responsabilaties to deal with!

When you Graduate, will you be glad that your were Fraternity Men/Soroity Women!?:)

Damn Skippy!:cool:

Well to all you pictionary people who like to envision an image with a word-my sincerest apology!

WHY??? Because I will refer to my son as my boy...not my "man"
and if you just take it on a step further. he, in my eyes will ALWAYS be my boy and his friends will be boys and on and on...

I promise, I'll try to refrain from saying thing like fraternity-guys. boys, or sorority girls. Be happy I haven't used "frat" in years.
My son, my BOY, never heard it.

Some people take things way TOO SERIOUSLY! :rolleyes:
In the scheme of things, this is so pitifully minute on the scale of world issues.

.........................but that's OK!:p

THAT is so mean!!!!! What in the world is wrong with wanting to be closer to your parents?! You can't have "strength and backbone" if you value your family so much that you'd relocate for them?! That comment really pisses me off. I'm so sorry you had to live with people like that!!

Yeah, but even though so, you still don't know the difference between adjectives and adverbs.

:p

I declare this the official Hate on Blaine thread.

Hate hate hate.

Let's face it: there is a stereotypical sorority girl. It happens. Some of us are one, some of us aren't.

Make me a little tanner and a lot thinner, throw on a Tiffany's bracelet, and I'd be one.

Also, a fun fact: at another school I heard them referred to as "frat daddies," which I found much funnier.

i dont care if someone calls me a "sorority girl."

after all, i am a girl, and i am in a sorority.

i would like to think of myself as a "woman" but i know that i am not that yet... still working on it... still feel more like a little girl then a woman sometimes...

Nope. Not a sorority girl.

Reason #1. I'm not a girl. My 7-year old niece is one.

Reason #2. I wasn't a very good "stereotypical" sorority girl, if that means having an expensive car, liking beer pong and dating guys in fraternities. Most of my best friends are GDI, and the boy is about a 180 from any man in a fraternity.

boy is a bigger insult than frat

Call it dumb, but I think there's a difference between calling a son a boy and calling someone else a frat boy. I think in a societal context, to a lot of people the term frat boy is demeaning and they use it in a demeaning manner -- although I will admit that not everyone who says it probably means it that way.

Even at that, I call our son, our son as opposed to our boy. Same with our daughters -- they're our daughters, not our girls. Mrs. DeltAlum is much more likely to use boy and girl when talking about the kids. Maybe it's Just A Mom thing. (Play on words intended)

I also suspect that as your son grows a bit older, he may object to being called frat boy. I doubt, though, that he will ever object to being called your boy.

At least that's the way I see it.

As for frat vs. fraternity -- I strongly prefer the second, but the first only really bothers me when used with "boy."

DeltaAlum, thanks, I could not have said it any more better!:)

JWOW, I am sorry, and you know how much I love you, and I was told so,---!

But what you posted is different than what we were talking about! J_Son will always be your Little Boy Just as J-Daughter will always be your little Girl!:)

But J-Son will maybe be my Brother and that will make you My Auntie JWOW!:cool:

Hell, to me there are no boys or girls here, They are all KIDS to Me!

But, I love everyone of them with everything I have! Slow night, only talked to KITSO, JONO, Op Prime!:cool:

This story my mom told me today reminded me of this thread. Today at work, my mom was talking to 2 of her co-workers. One of her co-workers who she said can be obnoxious at times knew that I'm in a sorority because my mom's mentioned it in the past (my mom's not Greek). The other woman's son had just gone off to college and was having a hard time adjusting. So my mom told her to give him some time, that maybe he'll join some activities, maybe he'll join a fraternity. The woman said, "Oh no way he would never join a fraternity!" And the obnoxious woman said, "Yeah sororities aren't all that good either because the girls are all snobby." My mom replied that not all women in sororities are snobby and that my sister and I both loved our Greek experiences. I love reminiscing about Delta Gamma with my parents, and I couldn't be prouder to be a sorority woman!

I don't believe there are typical fraternity/sorority people... there are snobs and there are people who are down to earth!

Basically, I tend to think words are just words...usually.
The tone in which those words are delivered says so much more than how we, as the ones listening, define them.

Honestly, I do try to speak and use terms that aren't offensive, but I just can't get all that worked up on this issue. Especially since I grew up with the term "frat" as compared to "fraternity".
Realistically, if someone intends to throw out a "put down", all it takes is a delivery style known as the "velvet glove".


MysticCat81 I agree with several of your points.
The funny thing is, I too really doubt non Greeks or anti Greeks have given this much thought. Sure some may be perceptive and realize it's considered a rub, but for the most part, I really don't think they care enough to have examined the topic.

Trust me, Billy -- the older I get, the more I appreciate being called "boy" from time to time. True, I wouldn't be happy if someone called me a boy to suggest that I am immature or "less than a man." But when used to suggest I'm young at heart or still have a youthful energy and sense of fun, it's even more flattering than getting carded! (And it lasts until one of my kids says something that makes me feel so old again! ;) )

I think you are exactly right. That's why I think explaining why the term is considered derogatory is preferable to the "would you call your country..." retort.

I agee with that. But I'd still rather hear Fraternity Man. I think it's more complimentary, and I don't have to try to interpret whether "fratboy" is meant to be demeaning.

It makes my brain hurt. What little I have left.