Name 5 Regular, Joe Schmoe's that You Would Like to Punch
 

In the spirit of punching people, let's list those people we dislike in our lives who deserve two black eyes.

1. My boyfriend's roommate- He has no consideration for others when he comes home wasted on a Monday night at 3am....hello??? some people have to be at work early in the morning. Oh, btw, it's not me and my boyfriend's responsibility to take care of your dog when you decide to spend every waking hour at your ugly girlfriend's house. You bought the dog...it's your responsibility!

2. That evil woman who lives down the street from me- If my dog takes a crap in your yard, I pick it up unlike some other people in the neighborhood that should remain nameless. You can stop giving me an attitude and dirty looks every time you see me.

3. The evil woman who hit my car- You have some nerve to lie to the insurance company about what happened. Especially because you admitted to the police that you hit me! Funny how the story changes when the insurance company informs you how much money it may end up being. Karma is a bitch and I hope it bites you in the ass.

4. To that girl who thinks she's all that- You're not. You look like a pig and you have the personality of a door stop.

5. My old boss- I'm so glad you didn't get your dream job in Atlanta. You think it's because they didn't have any positions open. Little do you know that your employees told the hiring director in Atlanta what a sorry excuse of a manager you are. May you forever be miserable.

1) 80% of the people who drive on state road A1A. You people drive like the cops are going to pull you over for going 25 mph. The speed limit is 45mph. And FYI, the red light means stop and the green light means go, not the other way around.

2) Any girl who thinks they are good enough to date my ex boyfriend. You will NEVER be good enough.

3) My first boyfriend- You better be glad that I havent seen you since I broke up with you two years ago. You got away too easily. You treated me like a piece of isht (probably cause you were a piece of isht), and I didnt do a damn thing about it. If I ever see you again, the black eyes I give you will be the least of your problems:mad:


4) The 14 year old who thinks she has the body that rivals a 25 year old. NEWS FLASH: you dont!!!

5) The customers that come into Starbucks who think they know more than I do. (SARCASM): Clearly all of my training classes were for nothing.:rolleyes:

1) the people who go 30mph on a highway entrance ramp here in Dallas - HIGHWAY SPEED PEOPLE, thats what the ramp is for! - closely related - going slow in the fast lane and staying there

2) the people who try to stump me at work - thats right, you are a medical intern, you MUST know more than me since I'm just a stupid ol' nurse

3) (*IN NO WAY STARTING A POLITICAL DEBATE HERE*) our wonderful president - he was a joe schmoe at one point in his life.....

4) My she-devil of a mother in law

5) My she-devil of a mother in law's chihuaha - I'm including the dog since my MIL refers to her as her "baby" and always ends her emails with love from the damn dog......yes and there are family portraits with the stupid excuse for a canine

-This girl Missy who was a total bitch to me in junior high
-my boss
-anyone who lets their kids run around screaming in public places
-Joe Cellphone who can't move out of my way because he's too busy telling the shmuck on the other end where he is
-every idiot in the City of Pittsburgh who voted for Tom Murphy

1) My Landlord - I am so ready to sue his ass and report him to all the building inspection/health and safety agencies. He doesn't fix a damn thing, never returns my calls. I'd move out, but it's too much trouble :p so i'm just dealing with it
2) My younger brother - of course I love him, but right now I want to punch him for making some damn stupid choices in his life and causing a lot of unnecessary stress to my parents
3) My career services office - okay, not just one person. But they make getting a job hard as hell if you're not in the top 10% of your class. And with how crappy the job market is, this isn't cool
4) the rush chair of my law fraternity b/c i've been doing his job for weeks now.
5) can't think of anyone else now.... i'm sure someone will tick me off later :)

1. People who drive slow in the fast lane, but refuse to give way.
2. Rude waiter/waitress
3. People who talks on the movie
4. People who keep yelling "I Love You" in concerts
5. Rude people in general.

ok I need to add an honorable mention here -

my upstairs neighbor who I swear drops things on the floor over and over again.....not to mention his dog that barks constantly....


uuuggghhh

My Roomate's Boyfriend - He acts as if he pays rent there. That mofo came in MY living room and turned off MY Pilates workout because his dumb arse wants to watch Biker Boys

My Economics teacher - Can't seem to keep his saliva in his mouth

All of my managers - I understand that Landry's is supposed to be "fine dining", but give a sister a break sometimes.

My ex boyfriend - Just because :D

The Dean of the School of Education - He needs to learn how to help students approprately or retire

The 5 person limit wasn't enough for me. I have thought of more who piss me off.

My Neighbor's Boyfriend- Must you walk like an elephant??? There are people who live under your girlfriend's apartment! By the way, you look like you came out of a double-wide!

My Neighbor- Dude!....your boyfriend has a mullet! I can't of a better reason to want to punch anyone!!!!! Oh, don't kiss my ass for 2 weeks prior to rush and then not speak to me after my sorority drops you. I'm an alum so I wasn't there to vote on you. But, it appears that my chapter made a wonderful decision! Go Zeta!!!!! :p

My Roommate's Boyfriend- You disgusting pervert. I already wrote what I think of you in another thread. You don't deserve another.

My Old Roommate/Best Friend- Now that I'm out of your life, it's finally time to stop blaming your problems on me and point the blame at the correct person...yourself. May you seek psychiatric help you Freudian nutcase. Good luck...you're going to need it.

1. My boyfriend's mom: The lady totally hates me, and I don't even know why. She seriously makes my life hell.

2. My brother's girlfried/my best friend: Have any of ya'll ever noticed that people you know are just totally different in relationships? And do they put you in the middle of everything? That's not cool.

3. Bill Clinton: I just really don't like you.

4. MIA Friends: If I call you, you should call back.

5. My friend in Qutar: OK, so I really would like to know if you're still alive, so you should send me an email sometime soon.

My major client: If you keep me late at the office, yes, I will bill you for it, and you will pay me, or we will go to court. You will pay my invoices in a timely manner. You will not "lose" my time sheets and use that as an excuse not to pay me. YOU ARE AN ASS.

The @$$hole who assaulted me 2 years ago: No, I did not cut you off, and even if I had, that's no reason to tailgate me for the next 3 miles and then throw water on me through my sun roof. And blaming your temper tantrum on 9/11 was just low.

The cop that gave my husband a speeding ticket 2 months ago: You lied like a rug. No way was he doing 80. And bragging about all the tickets you'd given out in the last hour was just obnoxious. (Oddly enough, my husband told me that when he saw said cop at traffic court, somebody had kicked the cr@p out of him...)

All stupid drivers (read: most of the driving-age population): If I'm doing 70 and you're so close to me that I can't see your headlights, guess what, YOU'RE TAILGATING. I will not drive faster, I will not move into a different lane, you can just sit there!

And for #5, gotta go with my client again. Can you tell I'm pissed? ;)

ETA: How could I have forgotten my evil ex-boyfriend who dumped me by IM?

The ex-girlfriend of this guy that I had hooked up with a few times, she's so snobby.

This girl at my internship who talks really loud-- her voice is so annoying.

My (guy) friend who's dating one of my friends-- I hooked them up together because she needed a date to her dated party (she's in another sorority)... we talked for 2 hours on IM last week and he kept telling me I'm so beautiful and kept complimenting me and said he had a crush on me in a roundabout way... don't do that, it gets annoying and my friend is your girlfriend... and I don't like you like that!

A guy who was a jerk to my (real) sister... I wanted to "accidentally" spill my drink on him, but I was afraid he'd punch me.

One of my professors from 2 years ago-- he was the biggest a$$ ever.

My Roomate

A co-worker that always steals my customers.

the v.p. of student affairs

This Cocky ass sig ep

our landlord

D - You cannot steal my sisters bf and get away with it. I hope your life is hell.

T - You are a stuck up girl, you will learn not to drop your friends.

K - You are a terrible bf, why do you insist on leading girls on,

N - That was crappy what you pulled last night.

L - Don't go after so many guys and then complain when they all use you.

Why all the violence lately? Sheesh :p

This is hard to belive, no one...currently that is...I'm quite blessed that I've been around pretty respectful people within the last year.

wow. very impressive

My Dad's Sister's Granddaughter
My second to last roommate (my final roommate was cool)
That awful girl who used me back in high school
A few of my professors
My former upstairs neighbor (for disturbing our peace, and the board didn't care)


http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/splat.gif

Oh see now, I needed this thread.
 

1. Becky at work: I am -so- glad you're going back to Purdue this fall. If I have to see you burst into tears when you screw things up causing a seriously overly dramatic scene, or jump around and giggle about how "super-fun" Oakwood is, I will throw something at you. What's more...I don't give a shit what you say...my mother's been a RN for thirty years. They don't make 100 grand a year with cars attached to the job. You'd be lucky to make it through clinical if you can't even deal with irate hotel guests. GAHAGAHAGH@you.

2. Ryan: Stop changing your freaking mind. Either come out or go to Spain, quit toying with me. And, you know...stop telling me what great shape you're in. I get it, already. Yes, hiking the appalachian trail would get me into great shape too. But I'd rather sit online with a pizza and a beer.

3. Eric: You really should have showed up. You missed out, hardcore. Definately a loss on your end. Somehow, I'm not heart-broken. :)

4. The creditors. I =know= I owe you money, and =no= you can not speak to my husband. What makes you think I'm married now when I wasn't yesterday? I'm doing the best I can. YOU try living off ramen noodles and making a car payment on the money I make. Bugger off.

5. My Brother. I love you dearly, really...but the next time a girlfriend of yours calls eight times in a freaking row I'm throwing the telephone out the window.


I missed this. :)

My Ex-Boyfriend: Okay, ya know, we tried to be friends, but guess what, it's NOT WORKING!! No I will not cheat on TKE209 and no I will not give you my cell phone number. I stop "loving" you over 2 years ago. Deal with what you lost, you're the one who screwed it up!! And anyway..I was NEVER happy those 2 lousy wasted years of my life!

AGC: Listen, ou have to give us time, especially me. I'm sorry if we're trying to get this in a professional way.

David: Dave hon, I love ya, but my gawd me and TKE209 hardly get to spend "quality time" together, don't come over to the apartment when you know me and TKE209 are over there...call first for once!!

School of Education:

Perfect timing.

Medical Technicians I realize that legally, you can not tell me anything about the cancer you see in my boyfriend's neck. Yes, I understand that's for the doctor to determine. However, during the scan, you MAY NOT make concerned, puzzled, or otherwise worried looks that do nothing but freak me out. Learn to deadpan, and learn it now.

Incompetent secretaries When you are told to call in a prescription, do it. Do not wait until next week, especially when the following Monday is a holiday.

My upstairs neighbors I know you just moved in, so let me explain the rules here. This is not a dorm. The people who live here are professionals. You may not begin guitar practice at 1am on a Tuesday night. You may not test the bass of you newly plugged in stereo at 12:30 am Wednesday night. You may not assemble shelves at 2am on Thursday night. I'd also greatly appreciate it if you noticed the trend in the above statements.

Fruit flies Get the hell out of my kitchen.

Myself Hey, idiot. You had two things to buy at Target last night: shelves and a lock. How you walked out of that store with shelves and NO LOCK is beyond me. It's a simple task. Get your act together.