Can Men and Women Ever Truely Be Friends??
 

Can they?

Is it even worth pursuing a friendship with a guy or girl that you've had a sexual/romantic relationship with??

If it can, how do you make it work?

I don't know. I have virtually no guy friends because sooner or later, they want to switch to being "more than friends." I personally don't know many guys who want girls as just friends unless they grew up together, but I know that's got to be just around here because I know plenty of guys and girls who are just friends elsewhere.

I know that I have guy friends. I think that, at first, for BOTH parties, the attraction is sexual/physical. But it eventually can move past that....I think the problem happens when one of the friends gets a romatic partner and two things could happen:

1) The friend of the opposite sex may wonders if their friend was/is "The One" and gets envious of the romantic partner

2) The friend of the opposite sex gets jealous of the romantic partner of the other friend for taking up their friend's time

3) The romantic partner worries that the friend of the opposite sex wants to be "more than friends" and gets jealous of the relationship b/w the two...


Insecurity is a sunufabiatch!

I don't know, I think it can work.

Two examples from my personal life.....

1) I asked this guy out in college that I had met a few times. We had a couple of classes together, so I struck up a conversation and asked him out. I was shot down :o but we still hung out, and he ended up becoming one of my best friends in college. I got over my attraction to him and we had an awesome, completely platonic relationship. Unfortunately we lost touch after he graduated.

2) The person I'd call my best friend now is one of my ex-boyfriends. We dated for 8 months, and it didn't work out... but suprisingly, we got along much better after we stopped dating. We hang out, can talk much more freely, joke around about our dating lives, and he's even going to be standing up in my wedding next year :D

So I think it really can work!

Nope.

yes, defianately.

yup it happens all the time.

I'm friends with girls.

haha

No offence, but its funny that you would be the one to say no.

What's you're reasoning behind this?

Yep...

I can name more than half a dozen from school and another dozen from greek life....

My 2 cents:

Well of COURSE they can!
I don't understand anyone who says otherwise - I mean they're basically saying they can't/refuse to be friends with 50% of the entire world population simply because that person doesn't have the same underpant contents as them. Puhleese!

But as far as EX-bf's/gf's being all platonic, where there's been intimacy (read discovery channel stuff) that's a different kettle of fish.

PMMama I always thought you were female from your GC id, my bad. Anyway re that site, Jesus does that guy have issues. It all seemed drivel, no offence to you dude. The main idea of the site seemed to be a forum for him to whine that chicks wanted to have intelligent conversation with him only (unlikely to have much chance of success given his deluded ramblings IMO!) while they were intimate with other guys - with tattoos. He might like to look at the possibility "chicks" only wanna be friends with him because he lacks sex appeal :rolleyes:. I lost interest in the site after reading him boast about prostitutes sucking his dick. I doubt they'd be able to find it...

I'd have to say no because of personal experiences. I was friends with this guy Jim (the Denver guy) and we dated five years ago, broke up and the friendship thing actually did work...until he broke up with his ex girlfriend and started talking more about US. However the US talk wasn't the same US talk I was having and so all that resulted was a physical relationship and now we don't have at all what I would call a friendship. I even called him on it, and he felt terrible of course....but hmmm, he hasn't made the effort all summer to hang out with me (AS FRIENDS). So obviously this situation isn't going to work out (which is fine by me ;)).

I can't imagine anybody answering "no" to this question. There would have to be some significant underlying issues for that to happen. (To clarify, I can see the answer being no on a personal, individual level -- but not on a universal level.)

I've had plenty of guy friends, and although sometimes they want to turn things more than platonic, they can move on pretty easily when I don't want the same thing. Just because somebody is attracted to you isn't a reason to end the friendship.

My very first ex-boyfriend, whom I dated for a year, is now one of my best friends.

Two of my very very best friends in the whole entire world are boys. One (friends since 6th grade) is a confirmed bachelor, so there's no sexual tension there. :) The other, I've never felt any attraction to (I can't say the same in reverse, obviously). If I did, or he did, I wouldn't end the friendship.

For me, the only question now is finding suitable women for our wedding party. There will be so many boys! :p

Just do what we're doing.... all of my bridesmaids are men! :D

No reasoning whatsoever. Just not sure I've ever really seen opposite sex "friends" (I'm talking here about really good friends, not aquaintences) without sex or romance screwing it up somewhere along the way. I'm also talking about really lasting friendships -- not over a couple or a few years.

None taken. I was pretty surprized at my answer myself.

Edited on further reflection.

I'm not claiming I know I'm right here. I'm only talking about my personal experinces. I do have a "friend" I dated in HS and college -- and we still are "friends," but we only see each other every two or three years. So, does that count?

I suppose it's a matter of definition. What really is a friend?

I guess the reason I am asking is because I am "involved" with this guy.

I've known him for 2.5 years. We've never been a couple and h'e never said it's just a physical relationship...although I have given him plenty of opportunities to tell me the "truth" and tell me it's just a physical relationship.

He always tell me that we're friends. So why doesn't he ever make an effort at a friendship? I do like him, and I always wished that we had something more, but I am mature enough to say ok, you don't have the same feelings for me, I can be friends. And I would like to try and have a good friend out of all this.

I just need to know where I satnd and ever time I ask him, it's always "friends"
I've even asked him why we never became a couple and his reasoning was I live too far away...I live an hour an a half away. I've never had a problem taking the bus...AND HE DRIVES!!!!

I am probably just wasting my time...but I would like to know what his problem is. Any insight?

If it was any other guy I would have been through with him by now, but for some reason I still like him and want to try and pursue a friendship with him.

I have to say it's possible. The oldest and closest friend I have is a guy I went to high school with. It isn't a concept that everyone can grasp, really, but it works for us.

ETA: (for DeltAlum):) We've known each other so long that we don't really remember meeting, so we're talking close to a 16 year friendship, give or take.

yes, it's totally possible.

most of my friends at home are guys. while in some cases there has been some attraction on one or both parts, there are a few guys to whom i've never been sexually attracted, nor have they been attracted to me. and no, they're neither gay nor horribly ugly.
and i've stayed friends with some of my exes. the others, well, not going there...

we had a huge 2 day debate/arguement about this in my italian conversation class last semester... it's definitely a more heated topic than anyone would expect!

It is definitly possible! I have so many guys friends that are just that....friends :) and my best friend ever the first person I met when I moved to TN is a guy and I love him more than anything weve been friends for something like 11 years now and hes the best. so yeah I think its definitly possible. unless the guys are just whores or something lol j/k


Nichole

My best friend is a guy. He's absolutely wonderful and I love him very much. He's one of my all time favorite people, and I am so thankful for him. We have always been and will always be just friends.

I think it's definitely possible... 1 of my best guy friends and I were just always friends and his girlfriend is so sweet. There have been times when guy friends and I have crossed the line and hooked up... I admit it does make things awkward sometimes, but that usually wears off. However, I was seeing this one guy... wasn't with him exclusively, he didn't want to put a title on it... and when I was losing interest and wanted to just be friends, he couldn't handle it. I was so frustrated because I thought he was a cool guy and I wanted to be friends and hang out... yet when we did hang out he always wanted it to go further... I don't think he understood the concept of being friends after the occurrence of physical things.

...well since you asked! :D

Honestly, I hope you don't take offense to this, but maybe if he is TELLING you that you are just his "friend", maybe he means 'cut-friend'. I think (with my limited knowledge of your situation) that that is a fairly lame excuse for him not to pursue a relationship with you (the distance factor), considering the fact that he drives. It doesn't sound like he wants a relationship with you...and if you DO want a relationship, you may need to cool things off before you get hurt.

Good Luck!!

Yes but only if there is not ever any possible hint or chance that they might have sex at some future point. All my guy friends are people that I adore but who I would not.ever.in.this.world. have sex with.

And not because of that "like a brother" shite either. They're just not attractive to me and I am able to ignore them being attracted to me (or they're not that attracted to me either).

Are you going to reply to every relationship thread ever created?

Why are you giving advice about something that was posted 7 years ago?

hi. it is most helpful for you to tell us this good information. i am learning very much and truly appreciate! also, do know that i am glad you edited to fix your grammars which are now impeccable. thank you for your most helpful advice on a thread of seven years of age.

sincerely,
kevin

lol lol

LOL at the edit reason, "grammatically it was wrong".....


Still wrong, buddy

Kevin, as a follower of the posts I am filled with impressment at your kindness deeds. I am inspirated.

Your post is proving you to be a very pleasance person. I am full of hoping that this thread will be made into amazingness.

I hope you are to have a lovely evening luxuriating through the end of day, kind person.

Y'all are so mean. She's going to have a hard time dealing with all this GC-rejectment.

i am unsure of your meaning skydneyk! we are honored to have such delightful guests. you know that the thread remained reposed seven years before wisdom was bestow upon us by honorable new member with impeccable grammars.

Kevin, I think you properly misspelled "sincerely" for this particular thread.

interesting this got bumped:

just read this the other day http://clutchmagonline.com/lifecultu...r-the-homeboy/

I think you may have been confusion. Although the poster did not kindness share if male or female likely he will show to be the first.