Girls and Guys Last Names
 

what do you think of women keeping their last names?
what do you think of men taking the woman's last name?
what do you think of hyphenating names?


[I]personally, i don't know if i like women keeping their last name unless there's extenuating circumstances

the whole idea of a man taking a woman's last name is new to me but i have heard of several men doing this. imho, they didn't do it to show who wears the pants in the relationship. or do they, mr jennifer lopez?

i vote for hyphenation. that way, you get the best of both worlds. i know a family that hyphenated their daughter's name but not their son's. i don't know why but her name has a special kick to it. probably because it's an irish-jewish combination. anyway, i've always said that if my husband had a cool last name that fit with mine. . .i would hypenate. but i don't know what sounds good with McDonald anyway. hopefully, something i can pronounce.

I am in favor of women keeping their last names. I know that I'll be in school for a long time, and I hope to earn my PhD someday, and I know I'm going to want to keep my name when I do earn it.

As far as men taking women's names, I know it's been done before, but I think it's ridiculous.

Hyphenation's ok, but sometimes the names just get too damn long, so why bother?

I think that each person should decide which option best suits him or her.

I would never, ever change my name/take a man's name. I would not hyphenate either because first I don't see the point of it and second my last name is very long and difficult, and I would never want to add to it.

In an ideal world, everyone would accept the choices that people make with respect to their names. When I got married, I kept my name and we still got things addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Hisname Hisname. That annoyed me to no end!

I have a Soror who's married name is Smith and so it her maiden name. She wanted to keep both names and has thus hyphenated it to read Mrs. Smith-Smith. :p I thought that was the cutest thing.

I say to each their own. I would hyphenate my name.

I'm definitely taking his name when we get married! I wish I could take it now!

I'm very traditional in that sense... it just seems natural to me to take on your husband's name because you are joining his family. Beyond that, the important family name to me is in my middle name (Wright). I'm the last one of us and I will keep that as my middle name. My actual last name I have no real attachment to. My dad's family and I don't get along, so I'd just as soon be rid of it.

Besides, his name is easier than mine :D

I would prefer her to take my name; because honestly what happens when the children are born?

I'm keeping my name....two reasons:

1) I LOVE my name. It is beautiful and exotic....

2) Now that my dad has passed away, it is my only link to my mother...

I've decided to keep it. For the children, they'll take his name, of course.

I think I'm skewed because I don't want any its...but I am not a fan of taking the man's last name. I was not going to take GPBoys - it had already been discussed. I'm not very fond of my last name, but it's mine and it sounds good - I have one of those very typical Irish names...Kathleen Marie Brigid McSurname. Maybe if I found a nice Irish boy I'd be Kathleen McMySurname O'Hissurname ala Hillary, but I will never just take his. Too traditional.

I obviously can't make the decision for other people, but I decided to keep my name. Here are a few reasons why:

1. I am my father's youngest daughter. He has no sons. My intended, on the other hand, has a brother and nothing but male cousins. I would like to keep the family name going in some way. Whether or not I like that side of the family is irrelevant to me.
2. Like OTW, I want to have MY name when I get my advanced degrees. Come to think of it, none of my female professors took their husband's names. He is joining my family just as much as I am joining his.
3. I like my last name better than I like Mr. Munch's. It reflects MY ethnic and regional tradition. It is specific to one family in one area of my state--something of which I am very proud.
4. I would like to keep my credit record separate from my husband's for the first few years, for totally personal reasons. Keeping my maiden name makes this a little easier.

My mother hyphenates, so I don't feel too bad at all about keeping my name--the one that I received my education, established my credit, and had a great life for a few decades with.

What happens to the kids, you ask? My nephew's last name is hyphenated, and he's just fine. Both names are relatively short, so it doesn't overwhelm him (he's 2). Some of my friends whose mothers kept their names professionally use their father's last name, still others hyphenate.

We'll probably hyphenate--if we decide to go forth and multiply. I'm not really into the idea of little Munchkins running around.

I'm a fan of hyphenation in certain situations, but I definitely don't think it's the ultimate answer. What if everybody did it? Then the son of Mr. and Mrs. Smith-Johnson would marry the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Jones-Harrison and their children would have the last name of Smith-Johnson-Jones-Harrison. And so on and so forth.

I don't like the idea of simply taking his name, so mostly likely I'll end up being Heather Mylastname Hislastname. But I think it's up to people to decide for themselves -- there are so many options and I don't think one ALWAYS makes sense.

Personally, I like hyphenation.

Here, however, is one good reason go keep your own original last name.

One of our daughters does a lot of performing in musical theatre. She is divorced and re-married.

When she married the first time, she took her husband's name and gained some recognition under than name. When divorced, she changed back to her maiden name. When she re-married, again she took her new husband's name.

It was very confusing for people who cast these shows to figure out who she was and what she had done.

It's also a pain in the butt to chage everything forward and backward legally when a divorce occurs.

Doesn't matter to me either way. I'll give my future wife the choice on whether she takes my last name, hyphenates it or keeps her maiden name.

I'll be happy to unload my last name. Like Ginger, there are issues with the paternal side of my family. Also, my first name is French (kinda :p) and my last name is German, so they really don't sound right together because of how the syllables are stressed. And, even if I did want to hyphenate, my last name has 9 letters and my boy's last name has 7 letters, which I think is a bit much.


I have a few friends who want to combine their last names to make a new one. No one has come up with anything halfway normal-sounding yet, though.

Good question. I guess I'll decide when that time comes. I never really thought about it in depth. However, I guess subconciously I am traditional because when my ex-boyfriend and I talked about marriage I automatically said my first name with his last name to see how it sounded. I didn't even think twice about doing it any other way.

I'm getting married in January, and I will be taking his last name. But I think I am going to keep my maiden name as my middle name, that way I don't just lose it completely. Although, my last name now still isn't even the name I was born with...

My last name gets so confused when trying to have someone spell it, pronounce it, and so forth. My future guy's last name is shorter and easier to spell and pronounce and sounds just as well as my current last name, so I will take his proudly!

I'm kind of torn. I love my last name, and it's a big part of how I identify and see myself.

At the same time, I have no middle name. My parents couldn't decide on what went with Jacquelyn, and my mom assumed I'd take my husband's last name when I married, so why add a middle name I'd just throw away?

I remember her saying when I was younger that a family should all have one name; after all, they're all one family. I'd have to say I agree with that -- but actually putting that into practice might be harder!

Plus, I have a track record of dating guys with AWFUL last names.

I'm okay with women keeping their own last name.... Changing names is a really big hassle... hyphenating is a lot less paperwork - at least in Canada. (or so my mother tells me)

I don't know what I'll do. My name is very Italian, and my boyfriends is very Czech. It's sounds ... well... different when hyphenated. If I do hyphenate, my children will take my husbands last name, and not a hyphenated name.

I think he should take _my_ name though - it's easier to pronounce! :P

But the best option I think is to merge.

Re: Girls and Guys Last Names
 

1.) I don't have a problem with that.

2.) That's a interesting question. I don't know of any men who does that type of thing.

3.) see no. 1

When I got married, I took my husband's name as my last name - but legally I have two middle names, the middle name my parents gave me and my maiden name. When I can only give one middle initial (as on my driver's license) I use the middle name my parents gave me.

Hyphenating was not an option as my husband's last name closely resembles alphabet soup. :p

My degrees are in my maiden name, but I've used my married name for most of my career, so no problem there. IMO, people who have well-established careers under a particular name should keep that name, at least professionally.

ok, my opinion has changed many times on this subject b/c i was always "that girl" when i was in 2nd grade always writing my name with my lil b/f's last name.....ya know.....bein girlie. then i went through a semi-feminist stage where i was like, "i like my name.....it's MY name.....it sounds famous....i'm keepin it"....but then one of my sorority sisters said something about it (b/c she was then almost engaged) that kinda softened me up and made me all girlie again. she said she thought of it as an honor that her husband wanted to give her his last name.

i didn't word that right b/c it kinda sounds like a domination/ego thing, lol, but ya know what i mean...i hope. take it as a gift or an honor or anything else anti-woman power....but in a good way. ;) :) :cool:

oh, and to answer the question.....i think i'll use my last name with his. can i just ramble on any more....? :rolleyes:

As for children, if I were to have any, I'd try to do something equitable like give a girl my last name or a boy his last name. However, I do not wish to have children, so I hope I never have to worry about it!

I have a really long and unusual last name (it's 13 letters long). My family is really conservative and traditional and so they want me to take on the last name of the guy I will marry but my thing is that I'm an only child and my dad has a half-brother but they have different fathers, so if I take on the guy's name, then there will be no one to carry on my last name. On the other hand, if I decide to hyphenate my name, it will seriously be like 20 letters long which might scar our children for life. LOL. Oh well, at least I don't have to think about this for a while.

your mother's maiden name is different from her married name and your last name

the only reason i would keep my last name was because i thought that there wasn't going to be any guys to pass it on. . .but i have twin nephews from one brother and a nephew from another(with the possibility of twins on the way). . .

Call me very traditonal but I would take my husband's last name.

The major reason why I would take my husndand's last name is b/c my dad has 2 daughters and his brother, sister, and mom are not close to my grandfather's side of the family (my grandfather died when I was 3). I'll just be really frank about it, when ever they have family reunions do any of us get invited, Hell no. We share the same blood as well as a last name. I am very uoset of how they treated us and I don't want to carry that name on with me. I don't feel that I am totally forgetting about that side of the family but it just represents negativity.

I am also a fan of hyphenated names too, but my last name hyphenated would not sound good with most last names.

I don't know what to think about guys taking th girls last name. I need to think about that some more.

I have a sorority sister who got married and her and her husband made up a new last name....VERY progressive!

I think the reason the issue of keeping/taking last names has become more of an issue is because people are getting married at older ages than in the past when it was more traditional to "become part of his family"....

I don't know exactly WHEN I'll get married, but I know I'll be over 30 and I have my own life and personality that I will have forged before meeting him. I may be marrying him, but he's marrying me also....

Taking his name is too antiquated to me...personally...

I would want my wife to take my name but only in addition to hers. Like Hyphenated or simply have an additoionall name. That way professionally she can keep hers, and not have to worry about comprimising her carreer. I like carreer oriented women. They're driven. Plus, I'm atracted to power.

I did not hyphenate...Averett-Flewitt? Too many damn T's.

I took his last name and totally dropped my maiden name, so I am Jill-my middlename-his last name.

He woulda been cool if I had kept my maiden name. But due to a now permanent parental estrangement, I totally dumped my maiden name.

I plan to keep my last name in more professional situations or to just hyphenate it. However TKE209 is -very-traditional in this sense and he would like me to take on his last name. But damn, aren't there -enough- "Myers" in the world??

(soon-to-be-one-day) Mrs. Brownell-Myers

I like my name. My boyfriend and I have Irish last names that begin with O'. If we married and I hyphenated, I would be Irish first name O'MyIrish-O'HisIrish. My friend suggested that I just change my last name to O. That would be cool. Since I have absolutely no plans to get married, this is completely hypothetical.

Well, In Quebec the majority of women keep their names, although nowadays the majority or marriages are "common-law" as well, thus there are some areas of the province where you can find Pierre-Alexis Perrault-Bertrand-Cote-Tremblay

I have a sister who insists she'll only marry if he takes her name.
Myself, I'm gonna keep mine, although the neighbour kids can call me Mrs. So-and-so if they like....
Kids, well, i guess they get their father's, although, at this point in my life, I expect i'd be single when I have kids.(ok, it's just a desire that I want my kids to have my name - I love the history in my name - in fact I went to an Acadian museum back in May and learned lots more about ancestors [there were only 3 men who came over from Europe with my name, so we're all descendants from one of em])

What about men who are permanently estranged from their parents, or who want to remove themselves from their families of origin? Is a name change okay then?

I already have a hyphenated name, so the concept of hyphenating is no problem for me. When I get married, I'll keep my mom's maiden name (the first part of the hyphenated name) and take on my husband's name for the second part. I went to legally change my name to the hyphenated version because on my mom's side there are no boys to carry on the name (and it's a pretty uncommon last name because of its spelling), so as the oldest grandchild I took on the name (and also it sounded better with my dad's last name than with my cousins' last name). This is something I will talk about with my husband...as for hyphenating children's names, I don't know if I will or not....if I can work the family name into either the first name or middle name, I might just leave children's name as "Bobby Hisname". But I can tell you, a hyphenated name as a child will not scar you for life. I'm pretty normal, if I do say so myself...:D

My maiden surname was a mouthful, so I was more than happy to add on my husband's Irish and easy-to-pronounce last name.

When I was born, my parents couldn't agree on a middle name, so I never had one. My maiden name is now my middle name, I use both on a daily basis (a la Hillary Rodham Clinton) and it couldn't have worked out more nicely for me. :)

I'm down w/ the hyphenated surname.

hyphenating is ok as long as it sounds good

a guy should not take the woman's name

taking your maiden name as your middle name is always a good way. that's what my mom did.

i will probably take my husbands name, without the hyphenation unless his name sounds funny with just my name. then i would try the hyphenation.

I'm hypenated, but I did something a little different. My husband's name is first them my maiden name. Most people do it the other way, but I hated the way the names sounded that way. An added bonus is when names are in alpha order we are together :D We confuse the heck out of people, because when I introduce myself as Eclipse HisLastName-MaidenName, people want to call him Mr. MaidenName, which cracks me up! When telemarketers do that he'll usually say "THat's my wife's father and he doesn't life here!" People at work call me my the hypenated name, but they are always confusing it, I guess because both names start with the same letter. I used my Maiden name at work after I got married because I thought it would be easier. Funny thing, when people heard I was getting or had gotten married they immediately said "What's your new name?" When I said I wasn't changing I got the strangest looks! People thought that was the strangest thing.

It also bothers me when I call, say my bank and tell them my name. Folks automatically want to call me either Mrs HisLastName or Mrs MaidenName. WRONG on both accounts! It's Mrs. HisLastName-MaidenName. I do let the folks at church call me by his last name only though!

People told me that I would get tired of writing both names, but 7 years later I haven't yet! :D

hyphenated
 

I haven't legally switched my name to my husbands.

I currently hyphenate my name because I have published scientific papers in my research.

And my bill collectors are too stupid to figure out how to type the correct name, so I just us my maiden name.

But if my husband and I have children, they will have his last name... I'm fine with that.

I think this is a very personal issue, and can only be decided on a case to case basis. Since my last name is one of those immigration mistakes, I have no real ties to it. When Mr. honeychile & I marry, I'll be honeychile Christine Egan.

The genealogist in me insists that I do it that way! ;)

I don't see why not!