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Opinions on para in public
I have just become a part of a new list serve that focuses on sorors, and for the past day or so we have been discussing a very controversial subject. It is affectionately titled 'To drink or not to drink with paraphernalia on'. We have stretched that to be 'go to parties and casinos where liquor is being served'. Sorors please let me know what you think or maybe what you have been told by your prophytes (<-sp.) Many sorors are referring to a spoken promise that you should not wear our colors, letter, or Badge (para) when out with friends at a bar, club, casino. I have a slight problem with this because they are saying it is not respectful, well everything I do is done respectfully to not only myself but to my lord, my family and then AKA. So, if I am not out getting sloppy drunk, and dancing wild then I want to know what the problem is. I feel that when I wear my colors (para) I am representing my sorority very highly. Are people trying to say AKA's don't drink or gamble sensibly or maybe that we don't know how. Please let me know how you feel about this. I am just concerned because I like to represent and if another AKA comes over to me and tells me it is wrong then I am not sure what I would do or how I will react - mind you it is not written in any of our history.
Lastly, our undergrads give parties and the themes usually center around your Greek letters - I, of course was once an undergrad I know what goes on at those parties - so what's up with that, and what about our golden sorors that out of all respect go to Casinos (WITH PARA ON) to past time and have fun....holla at me on this one sorors! Sisterly [This message has been edited by LadyAKA (edited March 31, 2000).] |
Hello Soror,
Just my little bit. I am assuming you love GOD, your family, and Alpha Kappay Alpha, Inc. I have been around this world and back, literally. I have seen our sorors at stepshows in Germany and Korea partying and having a great time. Personally, I don't drink, and it does not bother me to witness a soror sipping a glass of wine. You have to be true to yourself. If this is really bothering you, then I suggest you search within,,,because maybe your Spirit is whispering to you and you can hear but your are not listening. Now if this is just a problem for other people then you have to make to decide on whether you want to please others or yourself. I don't think you will bring any shame to Alpha Kappa Alpha intentionally. I am sure that you honor and respecto her.....for that I will honor and respect your decision. Deja |
LadyAKA, your question is a valid one, and I think a lot of Sorors wonder about this same issue. I do believe that we should not wear paraphernalia at any place where alcohol is abundant. The exception to that rule is a college party that is affiliated with a Greek sorority/fraternity, where alcohol is being served. I think this is acceptable only because it is affiliated with college life, as is our sorority.
I don't believe that Sorors should ever be seen in any manner that is not representative of our sorority. Alpha Kappa Alpha was founded as a service organization, and that should be our main focus. So, whether you are drinking or not, you are still representing Alpha Kappa Alpha. I don't think it's a matter of if AKAs drink or not or how much we gamble. It is more a matter of tactfulness. I hold my letters near and dear to my heart, so I don't want to taint the name of Alpha Kappa Alpha in any manner. I have seen Sorors at social events (i.e. Bayou Classic) who have totally embarrassed me. They were pink and green down from head to toe, and sloppy drunk. I think that this unwritten rule protects us from disasters like this. Personally, I have paid too much money and look much too cute in my para for me to want to wear it in some dark, smoke filled bar where half of the patrons don't even know what my letters stand for. I say use your head and carry yourself as our founders envisioned AKA women. By doing this, I think the question is a moot point because your heart will tell you when para is appropriate and when it is down right tacky. ------------------ One of those prettty girls, proudly wearing her twenty pearls! [This message has been edited by Skeeopatra (edited March 31, 2000).] [This message has been edited by Skeeopatra (edited March 31, 2000).] |
Interesting topic, soror. Such a choice (when and where to represent) was not an issue to me until I transferred into my grad/present chapter. After a chapter meeting, some of us went out for lunch and had drinks with our meal. I didn't think anyhting of enjoying a mudslide with my entree. Anyway, when the drinks came, one soror gave her pin a little tap and said, "Sorors, don't forget." Everyone nodded and took their pins off. I, being a new jack to the chapter, followed suit, assuming it was just customary or protocol.
Personally, I only wear pins to chapter meetings. If the event is more social in nature, I'll wear some article of clothing with letters or obvious color schemes. Other than that, I keep it to my keychain, chapter tote bag, and wallet. Most of the para I have isn't wearable (i.e. stationery and things like that). With or without para, Mom taught me to always conduct myself as a lady should; sounds like LadyAKA learned that same lesson http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif. Is there anything in the Protocol Manual (of which I don't have a ready copy available) that speaks to this topic? Just curious. Sisterly, APR ------------------ "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it turned into a butterfly." |
Interesting topic, indeed. Soror Skeeopatra made some very valid points. When you are wearing 'nalia you are representing Alpha Kappa Alpha to people who would otherwise not know you are an AKA. Therefore, the image you project is the impression they will have of you and maybe the organization.
However, sometimes we may have to look at this based on the situation. If a soror is wearing 'nalia, is out to diner, and wants order a glass of wine, then I don't have a problem with that as long as she conducts herself appropriately. However, I do have a problem with things happening like the one Skeeopatra described at the Bayou Classic. There is no excuse for that type of behavior. I would be embarrassed, too. |
Hi everybody
Please excuse me in advance for giving my two cents since I am not greek. I have been reading this forum for a while and it is nice to see intelligent women discussing topics in a tactful manner. Anyway as some of you already mentionned carrying yourself properly in public is something that a Lady should always do. No matter the place and no matter the affiliation. From what I have been reading here, it seems that your organization prides itself in believing that morals and virtue are priceless and a prime factor for member selection. Therefore it may be important to actually define in a global manner a code of conduct that would determine when and where it is appropriate to wear your letters when in public. It was just a suggestion. Take care you all and have a nice day |
Sorors thanks for all the comments I am going to keep chiming in here because I am still a bit unclear. If I am in a casino (which I am about to go to with my MOTHER) and obviously others are in the casino, who in the casino can say oh AKA's gamble (do you understand what I am saying). We are both in the casino, which might I add is not a bad thing, who can call the kettle black or shall I say blacker? I wear my colors every where (I said colors - not the badge, I am almost too afraid to take it out of it's original packaging). So, like I said I wear my colors everywhere, even the license plate on my car refers to AKA, and we all know how road rage sets in so that in itself can be dangerous. My car happens to be a year old but I used to drive an '85 caddy with my plates on, but is that really bad - does that show the character of myself or my organization because my car is old? With these plates I just make sure I drive carefully, which has helped my get out of speeding tickets http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
..... I always conduct myself in a manner which is appropriate. AKA did not make me, my mother showed me the ways before I could utter Pink and Green or Greek anything. So, maybe I am stressing this a bit much, but I just want more input. I guess I am finding this hard to swallow because I can't think of anytime that I should not or cannot wear my colors or my letters (I am not talking about solemn ceremonies like a funeral or a wedding) but I am not sorry to say that everything I do is proper, knowing that then I feel that everything I wear and everywhere I go is proper. I hope yall understand what I am saying. I really like what Soror Deja said "I don't think you will bring any shame to Alpha Kappa Alpha intentionally. I am sure that you honor and respecto her.....for that I will honor and respect your decision." I guess it is a decision you make or better yet a decision I have to make. Also I agree with what sisterfriend Diarra stated "define in a global manner a code of conduct that would determine when and where it is appropriate to wear your letters when in public". This is a big professional organization I don't think we can go by do this b/c she thinks this is better. Don't hate me this is just a discussion that has struck me. Thanks sorors Sisterly LadyAKA [This message has been edited by LadyAKA (edited March 31, 2000).] |
Soror Lady i hear ya girl, I think if you feel you are wearing para in good taste then that is your prerogative, unless Nationals decides otherwise. Great topic you've started thanks http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
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Sorors, these are very good points. I only wear 'nalia on good days--meaning my hair is in place, nails are done and I am feeling the lift from life. We, as Sorors, are aware that when we became ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha that we are no longer so and so but "that AKA." Therefore, knowing that we are representing every step we make and every breath we take. We must always be conscious of our actions. As one Soror said, this should not only be true in representing AKA but Black womanhood. There are instances when some women do not think about their actions effecting the whole entity but often it does. There are certain issues, such as alcohol and certain crowds that have negative images. Therefore, I would say, be very careful in making decisions concerning them.
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Sorors you all have made valid points. I was taught that outside of greek sponsored parties we should be careful about where we choose to wear para. For example me and some Sorors went to a club each wearing a small pin. However i felt uncomfortable with the crowd that was present and asked the Sorors to remove their pins and everyone did so without hesitation and of course we left as well. That is how i was made, i don't wear para if i am having a bad hair day or am not looking my best because AKA is the best in my opinion therefore we should represent her at our best. I hate seeing Sorors driving wrecked up old or dirty cars with AKA on front but to each his own http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Interesting enough a Frat wrote an article about this sometime back but i can't remember where i placed it. So obviously we are not the only ones trying to answer this question.
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I know its an old topic, but I felt like commenting. I have noticed that at any club or party I've been to (that wasn't thrown by a greek org.)throughout undergrad, I never see anyone with greek paraphanalia on. I go to school in the south. I have been wanting to ask if many of you had stopped going out after you became members. Also, at the greek parties, I have never seen any of the greek ladies dance with the exception of a step or train (I don't know the terminology) they do with chants. Is there a reason - or is this something you have not witnessed?
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Yeah, the topic is old. I was not a member of this forum back then, but, to add a little twist to this...
I know of a Graduate chapter which sponsors trips to the casino... |
Ok Sorors - my sister (Exclusive Emerald) and I are sitting here howling! This is a great topic. This post is long so I don't really remember who said what but here goes....don't wear your pearls with pants or in bars - other para is fine but conduct yourself in a ladylike manner - LadyAKA, I like what you said about your Momma - we too were taught how to be and not to be before our eyes fell on the pearls! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif Worry not about what folks are thinking. You obviously are not the type of Soror stumbling through the casino sloppy drunk and hocking your jewlry so you can bet more! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif Go and have fun with Mom and represent! Pink Bunny, you had me rolling with the dirty car comments! I actually didn't put my AKA tags on my old suzuki just because it didn't seem right. I just bought a new jetta and I am jettin around showing off which brings me to another thang all together. ROAD RAGE! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Does anybody commute a distance to work? Ladies, commuting almost 2 hours one way can make a sister act out! Now with my beloved sorority tags on the back of the car I am trying to be more patient, not cut slow pooks off and basically chill for a minute (I just sent my 1st car payment off for God's sake!).
P.S. We do represent each other. What one Soror does reflects on the rest of us. I would be mortified to see some spring breakin soror in a wet t-shirt contest! ------------------ We will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of your friends. - Martin L. King Jr. |
You had me in stitches about sloppy drunk & hocking my jewelry. I have not made any final decisions on this yet, and I have not had to make any judgement calls since I first wrote this, but NARC 2001 is approaching and we will be having it in Atlantic City (home to some of the best casino havens - yes haven). So, this will be interesting, I will be on my best behavior but maybe I need to refer some of our fellow Sorors to this post. Anyway, I can't wait, I am, however, sure we will be fine and make out okay, the sorority lasted 90+ for a reason (actually many reasons) .....peace yall!!
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I KNOW THIS IS OLD
Hi
my sister is an AKA and last xmas when were where all just chillin' round house i got some wine out so we could sip some :D my sis was wearing an AKA t shirt and she turned it inside out. I was like "what's up?" she said "we aren;t suppposed to drink in our letters". My brother who's a Kappa was like "whatever!!!" I just shrugged my shoulders wishing I had letters to represent! nachural |
In a greek only setting (undregrad OR grad), I don't see the problem with drinking in 'nalia
In a public setting, I think it's a bit much. AS someone said, why are you wearing 'nalia in the club. Time and place, people. |
Timely subject with Leadership in Vegas
Sorors, since so many of us will be in Leadership, what are your thoughts on this subject? I have been thinking about this for sometime now. Especially after attending the bowling party where I ordered a beer and just didn't feel right drinking or holding it in our letters. And since I will be in Vegas, of course sporting para and pink and green, how do you try to avoid this or should you? I know I am going to see Sorors in Casinos, Hotels, etc. gambling and having fun, AND rightfully so!
This is a very good topic, might just have to take this to a broader AKArena. |
Re: Timely subject with Leadership in Vegas
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I just have to comment on a scene I saw a few days ago.
I was out with some friends at a restaurant. There were 2 ladies there who had on nalia for another BGLO. Neither had her hair done and both looked like they were having bad days. I guess the service was not to their liking, and one of the ladies proceeded to get loud with the waitress. The manager approached and the lady began cursing loud enough for almost everyone to hear. The ladies soon left and apparently did not leave the full amount of the bill behind. Now this incident did not involve drinking, unless they had some beforehand, but they didn't order any at the restaurant. However, this behavior was very unflattering for their organization. When considering whether to wear nalia at certain functions, consider your behavior as well as those who will be with and around you. I wouldn't want to be at a table with someone who is cursing loudly and acting inappropriately while I have on letters. The company I keep speaks about my character, as do the places I attend and activities I participate in. Just be careful to remember that we represent more than ourselves when we wear our letters. And my mother always told me that you never know who's watching. I just had to share. |
Drinking/gambling in 'nalia?
As for drinking: ibid. abaici. I only wear 'nalia at specified Sorority/BGLO or community service functions. This was true even as an undergrad. Since I do confine my 'nalia wearing to AKA or other BGLO functions, it's not an imposition to conduct myself in manner befitting my Sororal affiliation. It's a pleasure.
As for gambling: if the sorority was against it, why would it set so many of its conferences in places like Vegas? Additionally, my chapter is having its retreat in Reno, NV. Why go there except to gamble? I don't gamble, have never gambled, and don't plan to start gambling (and would have chosen a different setting for the retreat), but, to each her own. There are some golden Sorors in my chapter who LOVE to gamble. ;) |
You all know our conferences are held where the host cities can accommodate us. :p
Drinking with para on is a no-no, regardless of the setting. IMO I don't remember drinking with my para on as an UG. :confused: Clubs...aw naw...hell no! Is jewelry (rings/bracelets, necklaces, etc) considered para? Or only jewelry? That's the only para you will see me with at the conference, unless I bring a jacket. You know for the hotel rooms for the sessions. You know what they say about the tempature setting. ;) |
True, AKA2D'91...
we are a very large group. Do you have any idea how many people will be attending this conference?
I'm not big on para, either. Even as an undergrad I wore pins, etc, and hardly ever big letters accross my chest or anywhere else on my body. It just wasn't my style. BTW, check your email. I posted something on the GCLeadership Group thingy and I'm interested in hearing (seeing, reading) your response. ;) (And you too, Steeltrap, if you're out there; as well as everyone else in the group, as a matter of fact). |
Sorors
This is a good one. Personally if I have to second guess myself or have doubts about something then I don't follow through. The fact that you have doubts Soror is a sign. Please listen to it. Listen to what your instincts are telling you. If it is saying NO then go with that. With other Sorors their instincts might tell them something differently.
Also Soror, you do not want to feel uncomfortable when you are out trying to enjoy yourself. When I wear "nalia" I wear them with confidence without uncertainty. When I wear my "nalia" I always look my best and that means I feel my best too. No doubts, no conflicts, no concerns. This works for me. Find what works for you and go with that. And if in doubt you know your Sorors are always here :cool: AKA Spr. 02, #1 TMO |
I was told that you are not suppose to drink in your letters. Gambling was never mentioned. As far as clubs go, all I can say is in St. Louis (where I am from) I know during the summer the clubs have greek events and invite all 9 BGLOs and GDIs and I know people who go in pari.
I had meeting this past Friday and after words we went to Applebee and since I ordered a drink I took of in AKA pin and for those who did not order on, kept theres on. Personally, for me, I won't do it. |
This question has been the topic of some discussion. I was told that that no woman of AKA should drink while wearing her letters! I think that those are wise words to heed but to each is own. As other Sorors have stated you are representing the organization as a whole when in public wearing Nalia. Just be on your best behavior Sorors!! This is just MY opinion.
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I've seen it done many times. Quite often Sorors will go out to eat after chapter meeting and if a Soror orders a drink she automatically takes off any Nalia (including jacket, pin, jewelry, etc) before she takes a sip. No one thinks anthing of it. |
Drinking and Pins/Jackets/Hats etc. do not go together.
One thing that I noticed is that the Fraternities can care less about what they have on and drinking. Very interesting. :confused: |
For my sorority, if there is alcohol present at all, we either take off our letters, pins, etc... or turn them inside out. We will not wear letters to any parties or any "pre planned" event where someone might be drinking.
Another sorority at my school will go so far as to put up post-it notes in their house covering ANYTHING with letters on it. The composites/picture frames/anything with letters will be post-it'd before people drink at their house. I think that is going a little too far, only because I would be too lazy, but it really does show how much people respect their letters when they don't have it around drinking. |
I'll just say that when we had our national convention in Las Vegas... :D
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Hey, to be honest, I really don't care "what" people do in their letters as long as they do it with class. I am not one of those people who trips out when a Greek wears their tiki to the club. And heck, if you're over 21, I'm not going to think twice about someone drinking. Now, have I pulled a lady to the side who was eating uncovered food while walking across campus? Yup. |
On Saturday, some of the new initiates met for a mixer. There was a reminder email about drinking and wearing para (esp being photographed with para and drinking(. Now, everyone who came out looked very lovely (as only my new sorors would). No one had on any para that I noticed and we had a very good time.
Later that evening, I went to the casino. Now I was wearing a pin on my jacket and I removed it, because it didn't feel right. Now, I have been a lady of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated for 15 days now and I remember one of the more seasoned sorors telling us to be careful when we want to "just make a quick run" and when we don't look our best. Well on Saturday morning, I was just going to drop the kids off at dance class, but when I looked at myself as I was going out of the door, I quickly removed the AKA baseball cap. Sidenote: It was funny reading the post from nachural wishing she had letters and now, well...rep yo letters, soror! |
I think what is in question is proper protocol- as a seasoned Soror of 22 years within our organization. I can remember after being initiated and going to celebrate at a restauraunt where alcohol was being served that we were to remove our pin-whether we were drinking or not. I think we should abstain from even the appearance of evil. I would not want to represent Alpha Kappa Alpha in that manner. I can imagine someone saying oh those AKAs are not about nothing-- look at their members drinking and gambling with their paraphernalia on- is that what they are about? how common! A lady would never do that! If you disagree then send all your responses to me privately :rolleyes:
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hmm, I don't think people should wear letters while drinking, especially take pics with alcohol present, then all that ends up on facebook, myspace, and other internet sites. I also think Para shouldn't be the clothes you wear when you literally roll out of bed and go to class or anywhere looking a mess, I've seen so many greeks do that, some chick came with her hair undone, pajamas, slippers all with a seemingly brand new shirt repping her letters :eek:
I always iron my shirt(s) before I wear em, my folks know it's going to be a long night because they say "you're ironing your shirt, what do you have going on tonight?" :D One of my shirts was stained and I cannot take it off, so I never wear it, unfortunately it's my crossing shirt :mad: |
Just adding my 2 cents on this very interesting topic. I too am of the opinion that it just does not look good to be wearing your para and drinking. Although a person may start out just sipping one glass of wine, what happens when the party really gets started and they "forget" to take off their letters and end up being sloppy drunk? Thank God I don't drink, but my concern would be how a situation like that would look to others who are not a part of your sorority, but may have been thinking about joining your sorority. I have seen this type of behavior at one time or another with all the sororities. I have love for all of my D9 sisters and there have been times when I have seen a sis from another D9 sorority buzzed with her letters on and I want to pull the sis to the side and ask her to think about how this may reflect on her sorority. I would always err on the side of caution and just not wear my letters and drink.
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I agree with what is being said about representing our letters well, but I care a great deal about how I represent myself. I can not represent AKA well if I don't first represent myself well! We were individuals before we made any pledge to any organization. Shouldn't self-representation be just as important? Whether or not we have on letters is optional, but we live in our skin and we should be respectable women where ever we go letters or not.
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My $0.08 worth...
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I know sorors who make a big deal about not wearing letters when going out (I agree that clubs + para = a no-no), even at greek functions where alcohol isn't served. With or without libations, there is always questionable behavior to be seen. I often just find myself shaking my head and thinking how hypocritical they're being. As TotallyWicked mentioned, pictures of such behavior can be found on sites like Facebook and MySpace, which just adds fuel to the fire. Whether in letters or not, people know you're an AKA. Not only does that look bad to fellow sorors and members of other orgs, but it *REALLY* looks bad to aspirants who see this and think it's okay and/or to men who see this and get the "wrong (or perhaps "right" :mad:) impression" if you know what I mean. :( I'm no saint (have my fair share of bad hair days, not always "dressed to impress", etc.), but TRUST I respect my letters enough to know how to act, whether I'm actually wearing them or not. |
^^^^I agree with you.
I know some people who make a huge deal about wearing letters, so they don't as to not make their orgs look bad if they will be doing things not becoming. The thing is some people know what org they belong to, so wearing the letters is not the issue if they are going to act an ass. I personally have no issues with wearing letters (other than I have no para....I don't have money to spend on para *cough taking donations cough:p ). I was semi raised by my grandmother (which lives not to far away) so the old soul of knowing how to act and when is ingrained (sp?) in me. I don't drink or smoke plus granny can really kick some boo-tay! |
I am going to disagree with the majority of the posters here.
As long as I am over 21, I am allowed to drink, period. Whether I happen to have on letters is immaterial to that fact. Now if I am dancing on the bar, then it is a bad look for me and for my organization. However, it is also true with non-alcohol-related activities as a previous poster mentioned. The main issue is that folks need to act like they have some class, common sense and home training, which can be done with or without letters/symbols on your body. |
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