Missing recruitment
 

My sister lives in Houston and is pregnant, nearing her due date. Because of complications, they are scheduling a C-section for next Monday, August the 18th. It's almost a week and a half earlier than her original due date. Problem? YES! Recruitment starts the 16th, and the 18th is the second day of Round One Parties. I'VE BEEN PLANNING FOR THIS FOR MONTHS! I spent weeks getting recommendations and pictures, meeting with alums and talking to actives, making a good resume. I mean, I love my sister and I will be there for her - this is her first child and I promised her - but I'm really upset about missing recruitment :( I feel like all of my preparing has been in vain. I also feel selfish for being so upset. Is there any way I can contact Greek Affairs and see what they would suggest? Should I just try to see if anyone is COBing right after Bid Day? I actually have no idea what to do, but I still want to join a sorority! Does anyone have any ideas? I know you were all looking forward to an LSU Rush thread, and hopefully I will not let you all down...

OH NO! I hope something gets worked out for you... But, being there when your niece or nephew is born is such a wonderful thing - I know this from experience. Hopefully someone will be COBing and you'll absolutely fall in love with them.

Contact Greek Affairs and tell them your situation. Perhaps they can help you. I wish you the best! :)

Oh, geez, I must be a cold-hearted b*itch. I'd skip the C-section! :confused:
I live 500 miles away from my family and I couldn't be at the birth of my niece. I am sure it is wonderful, but sometimes you just can't make it for things. I don't feel like I am any less of an aunt because I wasn't at the birth.

Gosh, I sound horrible right now! Please don't flame me folks. I just know how much Moxie has been looking forward to this and preping for it. And as crummy as it sounds, we all know LSU sororities don't have a need for COB. And I would think the only thing Greek Affairs could do is not penalize you and let you continue on Tues. with second rounds, but you'd only have half the groups able to invite you back. :( But would you even be able to make 2nd rounds?

Know what, though, you have a wonderful sister at home, so you really do know what the meaning of true sisterhood is. Good luck to you and your sister. And please don't think I'm a horrible person because I skipped by niece's birth!!! ;)

If you really want to be there...and you sound like you do...I would contact the office of greek life...even if that means that you will only have chances to be invited back to half the parties because of missing that day, atleast you would not be giving up the oportunity entirly...

If you're a cold-hearted b*tch, that makes two of us.

I'm sure that being able to witness your little niece or nephew being born would be a wonderful thing. But rush is an amazing experience that could change your life, and at LSU it is likely a one-time-only opportunity (we all know that most LSU sororities don't COB and chances of getting a bid next year are slim). You will probably have another chance to see a niece or nephew being born, but not another chance to go through rush at LSU.

Talk to your sister and see what she says. If she sees that rush is something you really, really want to do, she will probably insist that you do that instead. I know I would, if I were in her place. :)

Wow- tough choice- I'll keep you in my prayers.

Make that three! :p

I've gotta join the "cold-hearted b*itch" club on this one, unfortunately. You have to choose between the two.

Some of us aren't going to lie to you, and we don't want to give you false hopes.

Reality (which SUCKS) is that you're giong to have to pic between the two. Even if you got excused from that day somehow, it's probably going to hurt you (regardless of whether or not it should). Also, would it be possible for you to even miss just one day and be back for the next? She's in Houston, you're in Baton Rouge. It's not exactly a 1 hour car drive away.

Are you going to actually be a part of the birth, or will you be in the waiting room with the rest of the family? I know they've gotten more liberal about who's in the room during the birth. But being that it's a c-section, i'd imagine that they're more strict because it's actual surgery? Someone who's done this before could answer that.

Your future neice and nephew is going to be on the rest of this earth for many many years (baring anything extremelly unfortunate). Seeing him or her a few days later is not going to be that much of a difference. They're not going to look or act much different. They're still going to be an adorable bundle of joy who sleeps all day and cries it's head off intermittently :)

Rush isn't going to be there a week, a year, a decade later.

Bottom line is that LSU is a cuthroat rush. There's a massive amount of girls, and they'll make cuts however they can. A girl missing a party, even if excused, is an easy cut.

Few, if any groups COB. Rushing next year isn't exactly much of an option either. Hate to sound dramatic, but if you want to be in a sorority, you're going to have to do it.

I agree with you 100%

Well, the list now has four cold-hearted bitches, because I agree: Go participate in rush. I realize that your first niece/nephew is only going to be born once, but if it were me, I'd choose rush over waiting around in a scary old smelly hospital. If you were at another school I might say something different, but we've all heard about LSU's rush. You can spend loads of time with the kid after s/he is born, but you might never get another chance to rush.

i agree with kddani and JennRN.

You will always see you sister children but missing rush may hurt you.

and if she is having porblems now, the most likely will change the dates again.

Chris

add me to that club

Sorry, but I need to be added to that club.

It all depends on what's most important to YOU. If attending this birth is more important to you and your family then that is where you should be. however, if you're going to kick yourself continually for not going through rush and you feel that your happiness will be effected by it, then you should consider staying. What will make you the most happy? what will effect you on a larger scale for a greater amount of time? will you have any unsettlable regrets regarding either choice? do what will make you feel the best about yourself. I have to reiterate that you really only get one chance at LSU, but I don't have an opinion either way as to what your choice should be. I will say that the day of your sister's C-section she will probably be way to cracked out on medication, exahaustion, and pain to be all that conscious of who is around her. It's your choice though, and I hope it all works out for the best.:)

thanks for the advice and opinions from all :) i don't think any of you are cold-hearted anythings! my logic is as such: if i can't be there for my biological sister, what kind of sorority sister will i make?! i'm still not sure what i'm going to do, plus, as someone mentioned earlier, my sister's dates may change *again* and everything might be different. ah, *sigh*...we shall see...

One thing to think about is how much are you really going to be able to "be there" for her? :) She's going to be on crazy drugs and won't know what's going on.

Also, see what your role would actually be in the birth.

We obviously can't tell you which to choose. Just giving you some things to think about :)

Good luck, whatever you do.

let your sister know you are torn. Tell her both sides of the agrument. I know just form her that you wanted to rush forever. So she should too.

Chris

Well, Moxie, I don't envy your decision. Whatever you do I am sure it will be the right thing for you!

On another note, I'm sure glad others agree with me! I don't feel so crummy now!!! :p

My thoughts
 

My advice is to have a heart to heart talk with your sister. When my kids were born, I would have felt selfish to deny any of our family a chance to see their new grandchild/niece/nephew. That said, once I had a chance to show the babies off, I really wanted an opportunity for my husband, the baby and me to work on getting to know our new little family. The first few days after the births, I was really tired and only wanted to sleep and cuddle the baby. Having a lot of family around was actually overwhelming to me, as much as I love my family.

In most instances you wouldn't even know if there was going to be a conflict--it's just the fact that your sister is having a scheduled c-section that puts you in this dilemma. Would your sister expect you to drop everything if you were in the middle of rush or classes?

There will be plenty of opportunities to spoil your new little niece or nephew. The baby won't know the difference, and your sister might actually prefer company in a week or two.

Good luck with whatever happens.

From your fellow LSU friend..

I sure hope that everything works out for you, Moxie! I just know how you have been anticipating next week .. and you've put alot of effort into the whole recruitment process. I'm crossing my fingers for you gal and I sure hope to see you on Sunday!

- ames

I understand wanting to be there for your sister. I have one child and I have completed my OBGYN rotation!!! So, let me just say.... If she is having a C-section, only one person will be allowed in the operating room (I assume she will choose her husband). Depending on the hospital only one person will be allowed to sit in Pre-Op/PACU with her (I assume she will pick her husband). You will only see your sister for a very short period, the day of her C-section and that night, she will be a bit groggy. If she is a scheduled section, she could and mostly will get bumped by one or more emergency C-sections. Since, she is having a C-section, she will be in the hospital for three days. It is great to see family, but you will share the room with her, your brother-in-law, her inlaws, your family and the Nursing assts, the nurses, her doctor and the peditrician several times a day!!!!

It is the only time that she can do absolutely nothing, but recover, rest and relax. By the time she gets out of the hospital, you will be almost done with rush!!!! She will need help when she gets home... She will really need someone a few weeks later when mom is gone, mom-in-law is gone and her husband has gone back to work!!!!

So... information to chew!!!!

I was thinking this same thing!

Moxie--you need to at least contact the Greek life office ASAP to let them know your situation. I know that every year at my school (a southern, competitive school) people have to miss rush. There is a chance you could still get a house--it happens, but I'm not 100% sure about LSU, which is a much larger school than mine.

I must say that Angels&Arrows makes a pretty good point--hospitals can be strict about these policies.

Well, I have actually HAD a C-Section...
 

and I can tell you with great confidence that you should go to your rush parties. As was pointed out earlier, you won't be allowed in the surgical suite during the procedure. Afterwards there is an hour or so in post op and then your sister will be in her room for the next few days (I spent 5 days in the hospital). Since this is her first baby, the whole situation will be a whirlwind for her, the baby and her hubby. My first child was a c section, too. I think a regualr phone call to check in on her would be plenty fine. I didn't want any visitors at all while I was in the hospital because you just feel so sort of yuck for a while. Let her rest, bond with her babies and get her rest (recouperation is no fun either) and then visit her when she is feeling better at home. It is't cold hearted at all. You can call her every day and give her the play by play of your rush parties. It would be a nice distraction.

This is so true. I know that when my niece was born, we were overwhelmed with visitors for a week or so--to the point that I barely saw my sister (who was staying with us at the time). She will need your help more when all the visitors have gone and she is alone with a baby that needs a lot of attention!

As people are saying...

Perhaps you could come for a visit later once she's out of the hospital? You could do nice things like ask her if you can take care of the baby for an afternoon/evening/night or two so that Mommy can get the rest/relaxation/SLEEP that she will probably find herself deprived of.

Speaking as a mother of three, I have to say that I did not have anyone in the room with me but my husband. After my little darlings were born, I was so drugged up and sleepy (between the baby, and the nurses coming in every two hours, and all my visitors), I could not tell you who came and who didn't! I wanted to shut the door and lock it! For the second two babies, I told everyone to stay at home and let me rest while in the hospital! I know "the thing to do" is to go and visit new mothers and babies at the hospital, but as someone who has experienced it three times, my recommendation to all is to wait until mom and baby go home, and then take dinner/presents/balloons/whatever by within the first two - three weeks. C-sections usually require longer hospital stays, and the recovery period is more difficult than a normal delivery. I agree with other posts that say your sister will appreciate your help at home - keeping the house straight, doing a few loads of laundry, watching the baby while she sleeps. I have a biological sister too, and understand where your concerns are. I would definately discuss it with her, and see what you can work out! Hugs to you in making this difficult decision!

Moxie,

I think you should go to rush events and check in w/ your brother in law before or after rush events.

Will the proud daddy be video tapping the birth? That maybe a way for you to see what occurred even if it is edited.:)
I forgot about the hopital rules during surgery and like the others said she will need you more after all the family leave and hubby goes back to work.;)

Moxie,

Based on DGMarie's comments I am going to have to say stay in Rush and see her as soon as she gets out! We need an awsome girl like you in one of our sororities!

Mel

Add another cold hearted bitch to the list :D
(It's all good...I have been called that before...but people who know me know I am NOT that way!)

I agree with everyone who says to go to the parties. When you pledge, if you have a niece, then she'll have a GLO connection (not quite a legacy, but pretty darned close)!

i agree....based on what others have said, have a talk with your sister now, before her fun starts, keep her in the loop and then plan some time with her later on.

CHB-I think NOT!
Sweetie, lets look at the facts. First and most important, this is one of those "passages" all go through in life. Your sister is experiencing one and SO ARE YOU! This is YOUR time as well as hers and I would think she would understand that. Are you getting any pressure from the homefront?

Yes, there will be opportunities if you do not attend rush, but they will be sorely limited. It just wouldn't be in YOUR best interest to skip one single minute. You've heard from the "moms", you've heard from the actives, and as many have said, it boils down to what you want to do. I did not say THINK you SHOULD do...two different things. We get so caught up in trying to do what others expect us to do, or what we THINK we are expected to do that we put unfair demands on ourselves.

Moxie, if you weren't a sweetheart, this wouldn't even be a question in your mind. I honestly don't think your being there or not says ANYthing about the kind of "sister" you would be in a sorority. It's just one of those nagging questions that pull us away from confidence in our decisions. There will be so many firsts in OTHER people's lives that if we felt responsible to hail them all in, we may miss out on our OWN firsts. Go through rush. Be at peace with your decision. Part of growing IS making choices and this is just the first of many. ( The really TOUGH one will be the FIRST Christmas you spend away from home. ;) )

Thank you DGMarie for giving us the info straight from the horse's mouth! (as it were)

Moxie, I will join the CHB club (duh, like I'm not the prez already) and say GO TO RUSH. If down the line you realize you missed the chance to do something you really wanted to do, it might just make you feel resentful, which of course is the complete opposite of what you want. I agree that when your sister is laying in the hospital recovering from her owwwwwww stitches, hearing about what everyone wore to rush will be a nice distraction from the pain and tiredness.

And FWIW, when my mom was in labor w/ me, my dad went back into his office (this was before the days of hubbies in the birthing room). Neither of us ever thought he was a bad dad because of it!! :D

i think that everyone has already given good advise. i will chime in with my own little story. three years ago, my nephew was born. orgionally his due date was in may...but i kept saying that he was going to be born on my birthday (end of june). it just so happens that i REFUSE to work on my bday, so i had taken that week as my vacation. tyler was born 2 days after my bday. :) lisa went into labor in the morning and the family started showing up at the hospital after work. lisa literally, looked at everyone and said, "i am going in the bathroom and when i get back, you better be gone." lol. she was DRUGGED and does not remember kicking us all out! so now we were all stuck in a waiting room. at 9 o clock, they kicked everyone out but the grandparents. lisa ended up having an emergency c-section so the next few days were pretty painful for her. we basically went to the hospital and stayed with her for 20 mins or so and then left. there are tons of people to take care of her and the baby while she is in the hospital. i feel badly that i wasn't around to help when she got home. i know that my family and her family were there for her and that i was there in spirit.

oh, and my college roommate called me from the hospital on the day she had her baby. it was hilarious. she was soooooo still feeling the effects of drugs! she said, "i am just calling to say i had a baby." i said congrats and asked if everyone was ok. she said, "what was i talking about? oh, yeah, i had a girl." we only talked for maybe 5 minutes, but i knew that everyone was healthy and happy.

My mom is a labor and delivery nurse and from the stories she tells, everyone is right...You won't be able to do anything to really help her out until AFTER she comes home from the hospital. Plus, the nurses and doctors really don't like for the whole family to have a reunion in the room! They get in the way!

Don't get me wrong, I love my sister so much I could cry, but if I were you, I would go through rush, send her flowers, and promise to visit her when she gets home and do some lifting and other things that she can't do after a c-section. Or you could call Merry Maids and get her house cleaned for her or something...that would rock!

Go through rush. Find your home...and then visit your sister. Call her every day if she can take the calls! She will not hold it against you!

Well I feel like I'm qualified to jump in here now.....
I just woke up (at 1pm) after spending ALLLLLLLL NIGHT sitting in the hospital waiting for my nephew to be born. He's here!!! Everyone is doing great!!!! I saw my sister a few minutes when I first got there (that was BEFORE she got the epidural....lovely sight :rolleyes: ) and then I sat in the waiting room the whole time. He was born at 6:17am and about an hour later we got to go in and see them for a few minutes. We couldn't hold him, just look at him, and was run out of there after 10-15 minutes. (My sister was induced because her BP was too high....wasn't completely planned.....and they wouldn't let us stay because they didn't want her to have any excitement so her BP would come down). I stayed because I wanted to visit with my mom, who lives 6 hours away. Otherwise, I wasn't really needed there. There were about 15 other family members there.
I'm apparently rambling......

I say have a good talk with your sister. Most likely you will be sitting in the waiting room all day and I'm afraid you will be upset/thinking about/kicking yourself about missing rush. She will be on the goofy meds (my sis was, and it was a normal delivery). I would say the best time to visit would be the next day or two when everyone is more awake and alert....and the weeks afterwards when the baby is REALLY awake all the time. Also, (don't flame me for saying this....it's my opinion, not fact) the aunt isn't the highest person on the visitor priority list. You've got the grandparents and great grandparents who get first priority on holding him/her, etc.

JAM has good advice also....do what YOU WANT, not what you think you should do. I've fallen into that trap many times with my family, it's a hard one to avoid. Talk with your sister, think of some really thoughtful things to do for her after the delivery (my mom brought my sister Krispy Kreme donuts from OKC because we don't have them here...), and do what's right for you.

Good Luck!!!
(dang I type alot when I haven't had any sleep!!!)
PsychTau

So what is the verdict? Are you going through or going to be with your sister?

BTW add me to the now long list of CHBs.

I'm a CHB too...
 

I don't mean to be harsh, but I'd skip the C-Section and see your sister after the baby is born. I have 9 nieces and nephews...Mom is usually resting for a few days after the birth.

I say this because you are rushing at LSU, yes? I know of women who did not rush in their freshman year at competitive schools and wish that they did. Generally, you have your best shot at rush as a freshman, particularly at competitive schools.

Put it this way, if you can learn from an oldster, I love being a DG alumna initiate, but I will always regret that I did not have the collegiate experience. Please learn from this! :D

GO TO RUSH.... I MEAN IT!

Thanks....