my peeve
 

You know what I just absolutely cannot STAND?????!!!!?

People that put down a sorority for having girls that aren't quite so pretty. Or that are overweight. Or whatever. And I don't see this really with the other sororities, but with independants.

I mean, sisters love each other for WHO THEY ARE, not what they look like. The reason I'm saying all this is because one of the NPC sororities here always gets slammed because they are diverse in their looks--some skinny, some overweight, some supermodel types, some not quite as pretty, whatever. However, they are the sweetest girls, very down-to-earth. I love them to death.

Yet people will slam them just because some of the girls don't look like supermodels. Well, what the HELL does that matter??! I applaud them for seeing beyond the surface and loving each other for who they are, and for being themselves and being proud of it!

Any other thoughts?

That's funny. Becasue for years GLO was often seen as tall thin supermodel blondes with daddy credit card. GDI said GLO was shallow and horrible for that. Not that they changed they make fun of them still.


This is a no win situation for GLO.

Chris

The reason anti-Greek independents do this is because it defies all the senseless reasons they have used to hate GLOs ("they're all clones" "they're all blonde and beautiful" "they're all thin"). Prejudiced people don't like when they are proven wrong.

The GDI girls probably dont' understand. I mean, think about in high school and stuff. Girls that are pretty usually hang out and are close friends with other girls of approx. equal attractiveness. When joing a group like a sorority, however, you sorta learn to be open to all kinds of new people that you wouldn't necearrily deal with or be friends with if you hadn't joined. I think it's a good thing cuz it makes you really diverse and tolerant of people who might be a lot different than you are. People on they outside don't see that, and it's funny because THEY are really the cloens... chosing to be friends w/ people who are really the same as they are.

Kind of ironic isn't it?

Yeah, it's a lose-lose situation. You all look gorgeous, and you get bashed. You all look different, and you STILL get bashed. What do they want, anyways? :rolleyes:

Ah sairose, that is the question!:(

Who in the hell knows!:confused:

The ADP when on my campus were known as the ADPigs. :(

They were the nicest ladys on campus and one of My Brothers Married one, till this day! Last Name Boner! Did she catch it!:(

The ADP were the only Soroity on campus who would affiliate with a local! Usins! Like wow we were all Adonis!:rolleyes:


I to this day wish They would get back on campus as a great Org.

This stereotyping does get a little sad!
:( Why in the Hell would I want to look like everyone else in My Chapter! DA!:eek: :o :(


Little People Have Little Minds!

:D

Re: my peeve
 

sairose, I agree 200%! Sisterhood should based on the heart, not on appearances. I love and respect all my sisters regardless of where they come from and what they look like.

I think that the media (MTV's Sorority Life look and sound familiar?) is also the culprit in proliferating these stereotypic images. It angers and annoys me that a lot of GDIs buy into this and close their minds to the truth.

http://216.40.249.192/s/contrib/edoo...it_all_out.gif

Re: Re: my peeve
 

Yes, that's very true. Sometimes I want to ask them, "Do all of YOUR friends look like cookie cutters? Or are some overweight, some thin, some pretty, some not?" Most likely, THEIR friends would be varied too. So, I don't see how that is different.

Looks have never EVEN been a consideration when extending a bid to someone in SAI. I'm sure this is true for most GLOs. I mean, We have this one girl who has a perfect body and gorgeous curly red hair, and then we have one that weighs over 300 pounds, and then we have one REALLY tall girl, and one who is only 5'2. We have white girls, black girls. Some of us are hotties, some of us...aren't. One girl is bi. We are going to extend a bid to a girl this year who dresses goth, and are going to offer one to a lesbian. But you know what? I'm glad my sisterhood is that way and I wouldn't have it any other way. We love our sisterhood because we can be OURSELVES. I'm glad most sororities are this way; it's too bad the rest of the world can't see us the same way. :rolleyes:

I have to rant about this just because it came up.

Yes, MTV's "Sorority Life" showed an incomplete and often warped view of sorority life . . . but if there is one positive contribution it has made to the general public's perception of sorority women, it is that not all of us are blonde, beautiful and thin. I know plenty of women who were surprised to see the SAEPi sisters during first season because they assumed all of us were the blonde bimbos pictured in most Hollywood representations of sororities. And yes, there were a couple of pretty pledges on season one (Candace, Jordan) that verged on the stereotypical side -- but there were many more who were the exact opposite of the stereotype, and none of the SAEPi sisters promoted the stereotypical look at all.

The second season had some skinny blondes like Talia and Amy and Brooke, but they also had some overweight girls and some girls that were far from beautiful.

Yes, SL shows aspects of Greek life that many of us feel are untrue to our own experiences -- hazing, excessive partying, whatever -- but the blonde-haired bubblehead stereotype is not one of them.

This is so funny because I hear the same thing when i tell people that I will be rushing. I hear these people say "Oh, all sorority girls are dumb blondes that just want to sleep with frat boys." then I try to say that there are hundreds of chapters that don't even come close to fitting that sterotype. Chapters that are made up of girls from different backgrounds, ethnicities, and looks. But because they don't want to seem stupid and superficial (like those supposed sorority girls are :rolleyes: ) they come back with, "Yeah, well, they are still all just wanna be clones that can't think for themselvesand have to buy their friends." At this point, I just throw my hands in the air and give up. People who want to hate something because thier whole life society has told them to will not change their mind too easily. And if that's what they want to think, fine. They don't have to be my sister and enjoy all the positive things greek life can bring them.

I also hate it when they say all that crap and then they add "I've only known one sorority/fraternity my whole life that wasn't like that." (The fraternity stereotype being that they are all draining a keg everyday and raping everything with breasts that walks by) Well, doesn't that ONE mean, by definition, that the stereotype isn't true?? It's impossible.

Oh, sairose, I am with ya! This is one of my biggest peeves too. If my sorority would have went with cookie-cutter girls, I would have missed out on some wonderful people who added so much energy, enthusiasm, and love to Kappa Delta. Would I have traded them for the world? Hell no!!

AXPGoBot: That is one of the best points I have ever heard made on GC. :D

one word: JEALOUSY! and that is all there is to it

i totally agree with all of what has been said. it really bugs me the type of assumptions that are made when i tell people that i am in a sorority. sororities i think have changed a lot recently...it's not only the dumb blondes or the super model types who join anymore...sororities include all types of girls..short, tall, fat, thin, pretty, average, etc. in my sorority we do not discriminate at all...we will extend a bid to a girl no matter what she looks like...because it is what is on the inside that counts. i know this sounds kind of cheesy but everyone is beautiful...on the inside and out...in their own unique way. so i agree the stereotype is stupid and some people are superficial...and to those people...i say boo you...you don't know what you are missing out on when you only look on the outside.:p

And then there are the girls within whom beauty is damn near impossible to find. :rolleyes: We've all met some of those, I'm sure.

We don't discriminate on looks, but when a girl is about 250 lbs at 5 foot 4, I start worrying about how well they take care of themselves, because while there's no one ideal weight (I'm 'overweight' myself, whatever that means), there is an extremely unhealthy weight. Well, maybe that's discrimination, too.

I love my sorority because it's so diverse, though. Like attracts like in our case in that we're all a little bizarre, but very nice people. ^_^

One of my favorite rush experiences was when I went through round robin at all the houses. This one local sat us all down and gave a basic overview of their sorority, saying at some point,"As for diversity, we're all very diverse, as you can see," as she gestured around the room of mostly blond, white girls with the same ultra-perfect makeup on. They were all wearing the same shirts, as well, so that didn't help much. :rolleyes: Diversity my ass. They had a few brunettes, though. :D

But what does being overweight/unhealthy have to do with the quality of a sister they might be? We have 2 very heavy girls right now, and they are WONDERFUL sisters. THey love SAI, they help out with everything...they're just great.

Let's put things in perspective. People do LOTS of things that are "unhealthy". A lot of people like to drink. I don't, but but that's cool that others do. However, drinking often is damaging to your liver, and THAT'S not "taking care of yourself" either. I'm sure there are women in your sorority that like to drink. How is this different?

definately know waht you mean
 

Re: definately know waht you mean
 

No, I know EXACTLY what you mean!!! My chapter had a few problems a few years back because of a bad member we had that gave us the reputation of being snotty and stuck up. We're finally gaining people's respect again, even though we've always been awesome, it was just that one girl. You know what I mean? It's frustrating!

i totally agree with what sairose said. just because a girl is overwieght does not mean that she will make a bad sister...and it also does not mean that they do not "take care of themselves". sometimes people really do just have a wieght problem and it has nothing to do with how they eat or if the exercise, etc. girls come in all different shapes and sizes...there is not one mold!...that is what makes being in a sorority so great...you get to hang out with all types of girls and that helps you to learn about what life is like for others. i also agree with what sairose said about the not taking care of yourself thing about drinking...i drink...so in that sense i do not take care of myself either...but my sisters, both the ones who do drink, and the ones who don't, do not discriminate against me because of it. they don't tell me that i don't take care of myself because i drink. we all have different ways of taking care of ourselves...maybe that is something that should be realized. i'm sure that we all do unhealthy things every now and then, so why critize someone else for that it?

Thanks for agreeing. :) We ALL do things that are unhealthy sometimes. And I guess the overweight thing hit too close to home, because when I pledged in spring 2001 I was nearly 60 pounds overweight. I'm proud to say I worked hard and lost over 50 pounds, but you know what? My sisters loved me just the same when I was a big girl. And I love them for it!

congrats on losing 50 pounds!! i know that that is hard to do...but it hit close to home when that girl was talking about weight..i have had weight issues most of my life, i've never been really overweight just maybe a little chubby and out of shape. but that has made weight a constant battle for me...and i've lost most of that weight now..but i know that no matter what weight i am my sisters would still love me for who i am. it's people like that who mess with our minds and cause us to have eating disorders and whatnot. i'm glad to find another girl who agrees with me on this topic:D

While we're discussing appearance...
 

I was told sometime last month that a chapter of my sorority at a certain school is all of a certain ethnic background. Why should this matter??

She was a collegiate at an Alumni Panhellenic event...she probably didn't know any better...and was a bit tipsy, but still...

She obviously needs a standards event on manners!! :rolleyes:

My personal collegiate chapter was every shape and size...and we prided ourself on that!

I constantly battle with weight issues. I gain weight VERY easily as well, so whenever I eat something bad I automatically feel "fat". I hate being this way. I hate gaining weight so easily and then having to lose it. And I also hate being so self conscious about my weight...it's hard to enjoy eating. *sigh*

Re: While we're discussing appearance...
 

That's awesome, and that's the way a sisterhood SHOULD be. Besides, who wants to be in an entire group of girls exactly like themselves??! Not me.

Re: my peeve
 

Catty comments do not JUSt come from non-greeks. I know one too many GLO members who will refer to another organization as "the fat girls" or say things like XYZ sorority is full of ugly gilrs, etc. (you get the picture).

Stupidity can come from all angles.

having people constantly judge us because we are in a sorority sometimes makes weight issues worse. i know the feeling of eating some bad and then just feeling fat for the rest of the day/night. it's awful...as soon as i eat all i think about it when i can get to the gym to burn off those calories...it's unhealthy...probably more unhealthy then being a little overweight...so people should watch what they say. we are supposed to pride ourselves on feeling different...so why can't people stop making us feel bad for being different?!

I wasn't saying that 'overweight' sisters wouldn't ba fabulous people. On the contrary, some of the most driven, intelligent women in my Greek community would probably be insulted purely by basis of their looks by outsiders.

I know that there are those whose medical history really does make it hard to lose weight. It's the ones who are clearly overweight and who complain about it all the time, yet do nothing to show they're doing anything to deal with it by therapy or exercise that really bother me.

Don't even get me started on alcohol. I'm so anti-drunken glory that I get plenty of odd looks from my college peers. I'm constantly encouraging and scheming ways to make smokers quit. Those who work constantly and get like three hours of sleep per night for a week, I send to bed, no ifs and or butts. I get called,"Mom," more often than not, which I'm sheepish about.:p

Sisterhood is about bonding with people regardless of looks or anything superficial. That love is precisely why I get fussy over my sisters -I want the best for them.(Good grief, I am turning into my mother.) Sorry if I came off all wrong. I seem to have a knack for that. ;)

Goodness I can so relate to that. Haha this here is my so called "testimony" of why I joined the sorority.

I never thought I would be the type of person to join a sorority. I mean upon graduating from high school and learning a bit about Greek Life I thought it would have been interesting to see what it was all about. During Greek Week, all the Greek organizations would be lined up by the Student Union and handing out information cards to prospective members. I never received a single one. It's not as if I could just walk up to a sorority table and sign up or anything. I could totally feel women's eyes eying me up and down, deciding whether or not I had the right look to be one of them. So that totally turned me off.

Then once I transferred out of that school for personal reasons, one of my classmates and also someone who goes to the same church as me thought I have the qualities to join her sorority. I decided to just check it out. The diversity was amazing and everyone was so nice when I went to one of their recruitment parties. I especially liked the part where they liked me for who I was. I mean isn't that what true sisterhood is all about?

that is what true sisterhood is about...loving someone just for who they are both inside and out. i'm so glad that there are other people who feel this way. it makes life that much easier knowing that there are real people out there too:D

Oh, okay, well then I'm sorry that I misunderstood you. :) I think that's wonderful that you care so much about people that you try to help them quit their unhealthy habits. There should be more people like you. :)

On the overweight subject...sometimes it bugs me when overweight people complain about it and don't do anything about it. But, food can be an addiction. I am a binge eater, which is a form of an eater disorder...perhaps milder than say, bulemia. But I'll eat something "bad", and I'll automatically feel fat, and horribly guilty, and I'll worry and fret about gaining weight just because of ONE BAD THING I ate, and I won't feel better until I work out. I HATE being this way, because I don't enjoy eating...I can't. I worry constantly about gaining weight.

This is one of my hot buttons!
 

I think a lot of this is just a spin off of competition. If everyone was happy in their situation, you wouldn't have all this turmoil.

I see it from adults, I see it from young men and women. But <WHY is it that women attack each other so brutally?>
Sometimes it's like beating a drum. If I SAY it enough, people will believe it! We are the best, we are the prettiest, you stink!
Gee if I had a dollar for every incident of this nature... It NEVER ends. Grade school kids compare their parents and then the cycle continues to comparisons of YOUR children's accomplishments and YOUR success in life!

The happiest people I know-and I am one-do NOT allow themselves to be pulled into a competition and believe me, people TRY to suck you in so they can have something or someone to compare themselves to. They try to create a Utopia where there is NONE! So, what does this have to do with the thread? People who put others down are NOT happy people. They are not confident people. They are actually scared and unsure of themselves. Otherwise, they wouldn't have to keep reminding themselves (and others) how "great" they are. It would be reflected in their LIVES!

THIS IS NOT TO SAY YOU SHOULD BE COMPLACENT IN THE FACE OF LIES OR INNUENDO.

It reminds me of the movie Revenge of the Nerds. There are so many more of us who are open, compassionate, successful people compared to that small, "self selected" group of idiots (GLO OR GDI) who make blanket statements about other individuals or groups. Are YOU (universal) empowering them? Are YOU perpetuating the myth? What would happen if 14 of 16 sororities grouped together and said, "Numbers 15 and 16 sucks."? Why do you allow numbers 15 and 16 to say "1, 2, and 3 are crap." I guess I'm too proud and bullheaded-I would NEVER let it slide, I'd move heaven and earth to prove it was BS- AND I HAVE in many instances, though it wasn't easy!
If you don't believe you have the very best situation in the world, why would ANYone want to jump on the wagon with you? If you SAY another group is stronger, bigger, better, YOU are beating the same drum THEY are!

There will always be judgments by those who see you as choosing a DIFFERENT path.
"Two roads diverged in a wood and I chose the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference." Frost

Success in life is how you are judged by those you love, NOT the opinions of people who have nothing to do with your life.

It would be nice if everyone had your attitude. My mom was an alpha chi omega - I wasn't. I almost think it had to do with how I looked. Even though I was a legacy, I had the feeling that I was put in the "be nice to them" group. I never had the heart to tell my mom that the reason I didn't join was because they dropped me. I just ended up not joining any. Later on, one of my friends asked me to their informal rush. It was a great group of girls who were really close. Yes, the house was one of the farthest, but with the girls.....you got what you saw. I decided to pledge. It turns out that they were told to not activate us, but they did anyway. Less than a year after I was activated, I was an alumne and asked to not wear the letters. The national chapter had decided to reorganize the house. Now I see that the U of I doesn't even have this house anymore........go figure. I joined this today to find out what had happened to the house. Anyway, take care. **Oh, SAI - do you participate in the regular rush at your campus? Isn't SAI mostly music? It's been a while; maybe I have it wrong. I don't believe they had a house at the U of I. Matter of fact, I thought you could join SAI as well as a social. OK, don't take me wrong here.....this is just a question. I was a music major and it would have been neat to have actually had a house.

I totally agree with this...we are in constant competition with everyone...we always follow the stronger group...what they say goes...but not to be harsh..is this not what we have been taught? society only accepts the beautiful, the brightest, the best...we must be the best to be accepted. that is what creates this comepitition..it's society...we just feed into it.

this is true in some glo orgs though
 

As for my organization, we don't take nothing but the best, meaning you got to have personality, charm, good looks and somewhat athletic. If you don't meet any of the above, you won't get a bid.

I know this is true in some sororities as well, where you won't catch a non attractive girl there, such as DG, they're all beautiful and not just a coincidence, that's part of the criteria the new members have to meet.

it's true, dont' deny it.

Well what if this girl is an emotional overeater and she eats because she is lonely and all she wants is a group of close friends. Maybe if she was able to be a part of a sisterhood she would be able to lose the weight because she would have the support and friendship she was looking for.
I read your other post and you said that you're sisters called you "mom". I'm glad you're concerned for you sisters well being, and that's great. But it doesn't make any sense that you would turn away an overweight girl because you were concerned about her. "I'm sorry, you'd make a great sister but we can't have you be a part of our house because we're concerned about your health." How odd does that sound. I would think if the chapter thought she would make a great sister you would welcome her with open arms and say something like "welcome to the chapter. We're really glad you here. A couple of sisters and I are going to work out next week then try this new healthy recipie I found. Why don't you join us". You might find that all this girl needed was a friend who cared to get her going to getting down to a more healthy weight.

Hey girl!! :D

SAI is a music fraternity for women. It is open to instrumentalists and vocalists, music majors and non-majors alike. SAI does not participate in social sorority RUsh; we hold our own, seperate Rush, and our Rush is FAR less stressful and everything than regular rush. :)

And yes, you can join SAI and a social. We currently have a sister who is also a Delta Zeta, and we had one who just graduated who was also in Delta Sigma Theta.

Did you have SAI at your school? You're welcome to reply here or PM me if you want. :)

But how would you know which type of overweight person a woman is during the short time you get to know her during rush?

Would you be able to tell if she's the type that, despite working out and eating right, is overweight due to an underlying medical condition?

On the flip side, would you be able to tell if she's overweight because she stuffs her face with McDonalds and never gets up off the couch?

You wouldn't be able to tell, and you could be passing up on a great girl just because you think she may fit into the latter category.

Re: this is true in some glo orgs though
 

But apparently you don't "got to have" good grammar skills or a sense of tact.

Don't be talkin bout my homeboy like dat, cause I ain't tryin to get into no shiet, got it Sarah?

You would be able to tell by how she carry's herself. Does she dress in clothes taht in anyway compliment her body type or does shejust put whatever fits off the rack on her body? Y ou can tell a lot aboutpeople by how they carry themselves.

Once upon a Time:

There was a boy named Tom. He was young, slim, trim, clear blue eyes!

But as age and life catches up all goes to hell!:(

Now, some of the Pretty boys look like hell and some of the Do Rans Look good and have $$$$$$$! Yea for them!:cool:

Today is not tomarrow!:D