Dilemma....
 

Ok, for some reason really DISRESPECTFUL "ghetto" guys keep hitting on me! I dress conservatively, but when I go to the mall, I'm like a target! Do any of you girls have this problem?! I know it's a bit strange! Well anyways ladies, please get back to me soon!
:mad:

Not a girl, but you project who you are by the way you may dress!:)

How do you think people will post and this thread when you have 3 Posts???

Who are you??

Not being nasty, just asking!:)

I dress very conservatively, that is why I am so confused on this negative and unwanted attention. What does having only three posts have to do with Greeks replying??

Sorry to break it to you hun, but "boys will be boys." This isn't Afghanistan or any other Taliban-governed country, and they are allowed to look at you if they want. There really isn't anything you can do about it. Take it from me, I've had way too many experiences with guys like this and if you say anything or show that it bothers you it'll only make things worse for you cuz they'll get more pleasure out of catcalling you and whatnot. Just let it roll off your back and ignore them.

That has to be the best post by the grapist i've seen!!

LOL I love all your answers! Thanks Grapist, but I really don't appreciate your thug stye, especially when it's rude and degrading to women.
Thanks Daisy! Youre right, however, I see you're from NY, where public harassment is known for being horrid. I hate this, and more women to need to speak out against this harassment --honestly.

Daisy that's a great idea except for when ignoring the morons encourages them :rolleyes: Gotta love NYC.

Just perfect your look of pure disgust and evil and the phrase "don't touch me"

I really don't mind being talked to. That is no big deal. Just nod and keep walking. People generally won't follow you and if they do a few sentences and a "sorry, I'm not interested" can end the situation in a positive way and with no hard feelings. I mind touching or asking stupid questions.

"Why aren't you smiling?"

I get that like every freakin day! Hellooooo this is New York, when was the last time you saw someone sane walk around smiling? Is it my responsibility to smile at you? Was there a memo that I missed? I will never ever smile at someone who asks me this stupid question.

okay james, drop the facade, it's contradictory to post fitness guidance with fast-food advertising.

what makes them ghetto?

do you feel you are above them?

how do you react to them when they talk to you?

And yes, hollering at women is something men do. Some do it well, some don't, but it's not something you can stop without some sort of social engineering

<snarky comment>

Maybe if you had a better grasp of the English language, this wouldn't happen.

DILEMMA...there is no "N" in the word. D-I-L-L-E-M-A

</snarky comment>

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking.

Yes, please provide further clarification regarding "ghetto guys".

I ASSume that she's talking about any guy that isn't clean cut...I hope. She considers herself as a clean cut girl and is upset and confused why she does not attract the same. If this is what she means, I totally understand. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with having those kind of standards. If she doesn't like "ghetto guys", regardless of how she defines it, she has a right not to.

*edited to add* Oh yeah, if you don't want to be bothered w/ someone, regardless of the reason, DON'T make eye contact, ever. In my experience, that has helped me a lot.

I can understand feeling like you only attract guys you would never be attracted to.
BUT-
Why do girls think that guys don't have a right to look at them or hit on them??? I mean, cat calling and being obnoxious is rude, but saying hi?? Or looking at a girl and smiling?? How else is he supposed to let you know he's interested?
Think about it- if these guys were clean cut, you wouldn't have a thing to say except "Damn I looked good today."

Take it as flattery and forget about it.

snark works better when you spell it right too.

But you know, maybe I am missing out on sarcasm.

D-I-L-L-E-M-A? Are we talking pickles now? Gotta be sarcasm

/snark

Haha, girl that's great. Yup you def gotta love NYC like that. You have no idea how many snobby/bitchy/disgusted looks I've perfected now. LOL. One time, these two guys were riding on their bikes down my block and as they passed me, one grabbed my ass and the other one grabbed my boobs. :eek: Things like that def make me dislike living in NYC or at least in my neighborhood.

You are being so hard on Missmichigan.

If you are cute, guys will hit on you. All kinds of guys. If you feel they are the wrong kinds of guys, a simple "No thank you" should suffice. If it doesn't, tell them to take a hike.

I haven't noticed all that much harassment in the streets of NY lately. Maybe I have perfected that eyes straight ahead stare that says don't even think about it. Or maybe I am not that cute anymore. Nah, that couldn't be it, lol! :p

I don't feel that I am better, sorry guys who want to use this as an excuse. However, I DO FEEL that guys who are attracted to me, or GUYS IN GENERAL need to learn how to approach a woman respectfully. I know, maybe that's how they pick up women from where they are from, but they need to learn other cultures and realize that it is rude to come up to a girl in a manner that others may fin disrespectful. Perhaps I should not have used "ghetto". Pick up lines starting with the phrase, "Wassup Ma..." or baggy pants are usually associated with the ghetto culture. If I am assuming wrongfully, it is at least a valid assumption.
Get to know me everyone that thinks I am PEEVED because I think I'm better. I don't mind anyone who is attracted to me, just don't act like I'm your walking EYE CANDY. Don't stare at my ass, or look me up and down. Don't make fun of me because I speak properly. Especially when I have not given any reason for you to come over to me. That's just rude. When I go to the mall, or HARDWARE STORE, don't think it's a bar, I'm not looking for a guy.
I do also attract the type of guys I do want, so I am thankful for that.
I was also wondering why I attract those guys because perhaps I appear "exotic looking".
JUNIORGRRL...I will learn how to spell "dilemma" when you learn to spell the ony thing you'll ever be...it's GIRL...learn it, use it, and understand that you will never be a real woman.
THANK YOU DIONYSUS -- your comments are exactly right.
thank you everyone for commenting

*checks under her skirt*

DAMMIT!

How'd I miss that all these years?

:rolleyes: :D

Well Missmichigan, since you have already been checked for your lack of spelling acumen, allow me to step in and check you for your lack of SOCIAL acumen.

I, like Enlightenment06, seek knowledge and definition of this "ghetto culture." You seem to be quite familiar with it, as you speak of it frequently in your posts. Oopsies. I have just reread your post and noticed your scant definition. Those who say "whassup ma?" and wear baggy pants. Well all I have to say to you is what makes it WRONG for these people to approach you? Are you too good for them?

I think you might be "ghetto" your dayum self and that's why they are attracted to you.

My sister is what you would call a "cool blonde". And she always complains that the wrong type of guy is attracted to her.

The truth is that most guys are attracted to her. Most of the ones that she would consider the "right" type of guy are intimidated, or not willing to take a chance. The "wrong" ones have nothing to lose, they basicly know they don't have a chance anyway. My theory is that is why they make comments. And of course, she never sees the other guys looking her way (the amateur psychologist in me thinks this is due to her insecurities). But I do.

lol!!

i think this is SO much the case, honestly.....and like jules said, just take it as a compliment and go with it. i understand feeling like you are being "disrespected" b/c some men (no matter how ghetto or red-neck or "clean-cut" they are) just don't know how to approach a woman....i mean, honestly....i can only hear "whatcho' naaaame iiiiiiizzzz?" 5 times before i want to gouge my eyes out, but at the end of the night, i can still say, "woohoo! 10 guys hit on me tonite!" no matter how eloquently they did it or not. ;)

ETA: as far as the ghetto comments go......just watch how you say things sometimes.....i think i know what you meant, and i think some others did, too.....but it sounded kinda.....bad. ya know? not everyone who says "wassup ma" is gonna be straight gangsta/ghetto.....i mean, hell.....i say shit like that and i am no where NEAR ghetto, lol....right, libra? :) i just like to pretend i am. ;)

Juniorgrrl! That was cute! Too bad youre not... :D
Libra...ARE you just dumb or are you as ugly as Juniorgrrl? I did not say it was WRONG for them to approach me. I said the MANNER that they appoach is wrong. Learn to understad english, not just spell...
Thanks AlphaGam...you're right...I've just had it up to hear with the "psst psst" noises and guys shouting from far away and what not when all I want to do is be left alone.
Thanks all for commenting.

This SO reminds me of a SaTC episode, Miranda was complaining about all the construction workers hooting and hollering at her on the street. I think Carrie reminded her that she should be more afraid of when they won't. The last scene, Miranda is walking along and gets all these obscene gestures and catcalls, she marches up to one of them, says "Let's go, lets do the nasty", he looks shocked and says "Geez lady, I'm married". Miranda walks away and then smiles when another crew catcalls.

They just do it cause they know they can and nothing ever will happen. :D

Um...lol. Read your own post. You didn't say "the ghetto manner with which they approach me" is wrong, you said "why do ghetto guys approach me?" You and your asinine comments are dismissed.

AGDiva, you know you are the ghettoest greekchatter of all! ;) :D

OKay let me break this down for the thickheaded among us.

Your first post basically read like you didn't like it when brown people hit on you. That's how it sounded. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but others are calling you on it (very subtly too but enlightenment06 subtlety just doesn't work with some folk).

Your posts are childish and just uncalled for. Get a grip.

Don't assume things.
I'm "brown". Latina

Please also don't assume that ghetto people are brown.

Now when you read the post in the first place the part where I said I reserved judgement and gave you the benefit of the doubt might have popped out at you. Really it should.

You are taking this thread way too personal. Check the attitude.

Please explain.

I completely agree. When I was in the city for an internship, I had to walk so far just to drop off a package... on my walk I passed by all of these guys lined up eating lunch... it was in the summer and I had a skirt and shirt on, nothing revealing and I'd feel all these stares and get the comments. I felt like a piece of meat! At school, I'd walk past construction workers hollering things and looking at me, mind you I'm on my way to my 9a.m., not looking like a slob, not looking my absolute best either. Anyway, after I had gotten home from my internship, I told my mom about my day and told her about all the stares, and she said, "Ah, I remember those days... when I was young like you that happened to me all the time." She was smiling and I realized just to take it as flattery.

Thanks for your reply.
It's hard to take it as a compliment when the approach is aggressive and rude, but I'll try...

juniorgirl could have pointed out your mispelling much more nicely but you lashed out completely out of proportion to the comment. Your posts to Librasoul who DID have a legitimate beef with your comment (see threads around GC- a lot of us are very uncomfortable with the way that some people throw the word "ghetto" around) were also out of line. Stupid and ugly? DO you know her? Have you even read any of her posts? That is uncalled for.

You took two small incidents and instead of reacting reasonably you threw a hissy.

You'll be much happier on the internet in general if you dial it down some.

With your attitude, no wonder you can't get guys you'd consider classy.

Now, I have to agree with that.

LOL
im on your trail...Mr. Grapist..

your hillarious