Want an internship?
 

OK I need an unpaid intern people. This person must come from a good school and be willing to work hard.

Tasks include:
Laundry
Food services
Apartment scouting
Moving boxes

If you are smart enough to do those things and I think you can handle more, I will bring you into the investment banking world and show you how to run some of my financial models so I can start getting some golf into my days.

While the position is unpaid, I will often purchase you meals and if you're cool, I will bring you to bars and clubs and cover your expenses. In addition I will offer a well-written recommendation and provide you with some connections.

However, if you mess up any of my shirts or bring me the wrong food, I will snap and bitchslap you.

-Rudey
--Please prepare references

It sounds like you want a wife ;)

Hey, I need an intern like that, too.

Rudey, what do you consider a good school? I'd prefer my interns to be fresh out of high school. That way, I can pay them less. :p

You can't fire a wife. Plus I'd rather my intern be male. If it was female, I'd be stupid and pick an attractive one instead of one that works well. Then I'd want her and wouldn't care if she didn't do the work.

And Munchkin, I think only Ivy+ works for me. I might consider extending the recruitment out to certain state schools like UVA, UMich, Berkeley, and UT Austin but only if they have really high GPA's and great EC's. The job market is pretty bad so there are a bunch of people out there who would fight for this job I'm sure.

-Rudey
--So males or rather unattractive females apply only please.

Sure you can...it's called divorce, lol.

The costs are too high.

-Rudey
--Plus I'd rather be nice to the wife and just be mean to the help.

LOL!!

Just when I think you couldn't be any funnier, you prove me wrong. Good luck finding an intern, Rudey!

That is why I am looking for two. A plain female that is smart and hard working and a second who is a hotty with big lips.

didn't Kramer have a similar intern on an episode of Seinfeld? he worked for "Kramercorp." and pretty much just did what Kramer told him to? it was a pretty funny episode, and it worked out really well for him. I might be interested if you find some way that I can get college credit for the work (jk;) )

Would your intern have to wear a beret?

Yes. DKNY

i would have to say i would be much more interested in an unpaid servile internship if it offered such perks as wearing a beret.

And a prarie skirt? ;)

Rudey I would apply but I don't meet the criteria of a man or ugly chick, lol. Sorry.

I think it was Kramerica actually.

I will be contacting the university career office about college credit. I think it won't be hard to arrange receiving credit for your prestigious internship at Rudey and Co. LLC.

And why would my intern wear a berret? That would definitely get me labeled as either gay or a Francophile.

-Rudey
--I'd choose gay over French any day.

Kramerica!!!!! that's it! god that was funny. Anyway, ok nix the beret idea, will there be any type of uniform requirements? keep in mind that I'm petite so longer pants won't work for me. Unless you want to make me look ugly (which you probably do) to prevent you from trying to sleep with me.

Like most GC ladies I'm pretty hot, but I think with determination I can overcome that disability and become a successful contributor to your company;) :p

(BUT ONLY if I get school credit:p )

Schultzz brought up a really good point. Do you have big lips?

-Rudey

rudey...here is my application:

name: alphagamdiva, aka: mon...however, can quickly change my name to whatever you want it to be

references: several satisfied ex boyfriends (yeah, they're exes...but only b/c they messed up ;)....management is a b*tch sometimes) :p

previous experience: i have cooked, cleaned, brought food, done laundry, and provided numerous other <ahem> services all with a positive attitude and with pleasant results

while i am not "unattractive" or male.....i feel that i can be an asset to your, um, company.

thank you for your time and consideration.

;)---if we didn't have tickets to maury already, never would i ever apply for this....position....

I suppose it all depends on your idea of big...but in previous work experience i have never been written up or penalized for having a lack of lips...and I work extra hard to make up for any disabilities I may have, so big lips or no, I'd make a great intern;)

and yes, yes i do.