married but leaves ring at home
 

So, I meet my friends up out last night. And one of the guys who is a friend of my friend is out with. I didn't talk with him long, and don't know him. But I guess he left his wedding ring at a friends, and his pregnant wife at home. Question is, do you think it is OK for married people to go out without wearing rings. My friend has said that he acts single when out with the guys. Just thought it was odd and wanted to see if this happens all the time... Any thoughts?

If someone wears his or her wedding all the time but decides to take it off when out with the girls or out with the guys, that raises all sorts of red flags with me.

I can't imagine any reason for doing that other than wanting others to think you're single.

Whoa...that's just wrong....

I can imagine taking the ring off would be okay for like work situations and what not (like my dad, he's never worn his due to his job) but not when he/she's just going out to have some fun.

Ditto what KillarnyRose said....red flags.

I agree with KillarneyRose. My husband rarely wears his ring, but he isn't out in social situations without me, either.

It's really a work safety issue more than the lack of desire to wear the ring for him. If he were going out with friends and playing single, that would be a definite red flag.

My same thoughts. I feel sorry for his wife and soon-to-be child.

The situation you describe would *definately* raise a TON of red flags for me.

I'm sure he wouldn't like it if his wife went out with the girls without her ring!

i'm not married, but if my hubby took his ring off to go out with the boys...he'd better stay out with the boys!

my parents have been married almost 33 years and my dad hasn't worn his ring in probably 32 of those years. just like deltaphi's hubby, it is a saftey thing. when they were first married, he almost had his finger cut off bc a piece of machinery had caught on the ring. needless to say, both of my parents decided that wearing the ring wasn't all that important!!

The guy is a dick. But at the same time, why is he acting single? Pregnant wives maybe are not sexy so I don't completely blame him for wanting the attention of beautiful single women.

-Rudey
--Then again a lot of guys are into pregnant porn, so you never know what's sexy these days.

My husband doesn't wear his ring at work for the reasons mentioned here (safety).

However, as soon as he leaves work, the ring goes back on. I would be very upset if he went out with his friends and decided to take it off.

No ring... No way!

Us ladies need to remember that some guys don't like to wear jewelry (and I don't care what you say about it being a symbol of their marriage - it's still jewelry to a guy). And after so many years of being married they start to shed it a little.

What she said! Plus he has a tendency to lose things...which is why we got him an inexpensive ring.

I don't go without my ring...mainly because I LOVE it! and I take my ring off at night

But this man sounds like he is trying to be a PLAYA! That is just WRONG

That's a red flag. If he was trying to shed his jewelry, maybe he could pick a better place to not wear his ring than guys night out at the bar....

Now, let's not be too quick to judgement.

I know a few guys who don't wear their ring (mostly work-related), but also don't wear it when they're not at work. They are all faithful to their wives, and it has nothing to do with any infidelity.

As was said earlier, some guys aren't big jewelry guys - and not wearing the ring doesn't mean you're not faithful to your wife.

Now...about "acting single" when out with the guys; it depends on what he means by that. If it means that he maybe drinks a bit more and is a bit rowdier, that's not necessarily a big deal. However, if it means he hits on girls and is picking up women, well then that's a problem.

Sorry, my husband will wear the ring. Tough shit.

And, if he doesn't he's getting a ring-like tattoo, SOMETHING to tell the world that he is taken!

Hell, I don't like that men don't wear engagement rings...I'd like to bring that into style...

You take that ring off, you may have the BEST intentions, but he is asking for trouble...

If you never wear a ring, that's one thing. My father never did because double-ring ceremonies just weren't as prevalent in those days. Ditto for the guys who have safety issues at work.

But if you wear a ring all the time and then take it off to go out? NO. That's f-ed up.

Sounds like....
 

Laci and Scott Peterson

Aside from the dude not wearing the ring, I think the husband was wrong for putting himself in situation(s) to make it appear as though he were available. Once your married as deltaphi94 mentioned, I don't see why your wife cannot be in the same social setting as you. I've always heard that it is best for married couples to mix and mingle with other married couples.

If the guy was flirting with other ladies he was wrong but if he just left it because it is jewelry or what not and it was totally innocent i see nothing wrong, but if the guy was trying to portray that he was single thats just uncool.

I'm absolutely amazed nobody reacted to this.

Some men consider pregnant women to be very sexy. Besided, they got her that way.

Sorry, no excuse there.

Here's just a little "seves you right" story. I was once in a bar with a married guy I knew slightly. He took off his wedding ring and put it in his jacket pocket -- then walked out of the bar, forgetting the jacket. When he got back, both were gone.

Wonder how he explained that to his wife.

Sorry guys, unless it is work or health related, it should be left on.

I'm pretty sure my guy would be wearing his ring no matter where he was. unless it was going to get ruined somehow like if he did some kind of outside work or something like that. otherwise he better not be taking it off when hes out with the boys. That would just be like hes wanting people to think that hes single and that would bother me. wether I thought he was going to cheat on me or not he still shouldnt need to take the ring off. theres no reason that he cant keep it on.

Nichole

OK I SOOOOOOO disagree with this.

I'm not married, but have been in a relationship long enough that I might as well be. I love going out to clubs and dancing. Mr 33 hates it. I'm not going to force him to go with me, nor is he going to force me to stay home. That would just make both of us unhappy.

My dad belongs to a hunting camp that is very (ahem) rustic. My mother went with him once (she is like me - roughing it is not enough towels in the hotel) and said she never ever ever wanted to go again, but she wasn't going to stop him from going.

All couples should spend time apart from each other occasionally, and to say that marrieds should only socialize with marrieds - I don't even want to start on that one. If someone's really your friend, you don't dump them or not do things with them because they're not married and you are (or vice versa).

If a married man or woman can't go out for a night with the boys/girls without getting into trouble, the marriage had problems to begin with.

DeltAlum,

I felt it was completely worth ignoring that comment. Sometimes I wonder what he smokes before he gets online. Sometimes he may be kidding, other times he's not....I read it, and rolled my eyes:rolleyes:

I agree with you. You should still feel and be independant enough to have friendships of your own and be without your spouse once in a while...

Thank You DeltAlum.
Seriously, for guys who think that way, just wait until the day your wife or significant other becomes pregnant, if you are so blessed. :)

To me, it's simple.

If you are married, you wear the ring when going out.

Hardly any ifs, ands, or buts.

PRegnant women are still sexy to some men .. . There are whole porn sites dedicated to them . . . but there are like granny sex sites also . . . lol.

That just means there are some really sick people....

If the guy takes his ring off for work for safety reasons, (i.e. he works in the trades), that's one thing.

For going out to the bars, that's a definite red flag.

Correct me if I am wrong . . . But:

People generally like to flirt and receive attention from members of the opposite sex even if they aren't going to know them in a biblical sense.

I have had seriously flirting conversations with girls at bars or parties where the girl is extremely flirtatious and somehow manages to avoid mentioning she has a BF/Husband all night long.

In fact even her friends usually won't say anything unless they are jealous that she is geting attention and they are not.

When asked about it later, I have been told that girls will hide their taken-status because they think boys won't talk to them if they are taken which means they won't have as much fun.

So, boys and girls are just as likely to to represent themselves as single when going out.

Correct me if I am wrong . . . But:
People generally like to flirt and receive attention from members of the opposite sex even if they aren't going to know them in a biblical sense.

I have had seriously flirting conversations with girls at bars or parties where the girl is extremely flirtatious and somehow manages to avoid mentioning she has a BF/Husband all night long.
As have I with men who hid their married status, and I find it annoying and rude, because when I find out later, I know that I have wasted my time. To me, that's inconsiderate and rude.

In fact even her friends usually won't say anything unless they are jealous that she is geting attention and they are not.
Men will be tight lipped as well.

When asked about it later, I have been told that girls will hide their taken-status because they think boys won't talk to them if they are taken which means they won't have as much fun.

You're damn right. Married men and women BOTH do this. If I see a ring, as a single person, I am not going to waste my time. So I don't like it when someone hides their lack of availability. It's tantamount to lying and I will have wasted my time taking to someone that's not available, when I could have talked to someone what WAS. Both sexes are guilty of this. But that doesn't mean that it's not ANNOYING.

They deserve the smiley where you get smacked on the head with the fish.

Ya know the funny thing? Men who are wearing their wedding ring are MORE likely to get hit on!

What up wit dat? :confused:

Re: married but leaves ring at home
 

Since you don't really know this guy who wasn't wearing a ring, he may not wear a ring on a regular basis. My hubby never wears his ring because he is not into jewlery. I don't wear my ring in certain situations (i.e., at the gym). I think his actions are more important than him wearing a ring or not.

Also wearing a ring proves nothing. A married person can cheat with the ring on or off.

This is when I get very upset with my gender!!

I don't hit on men with girlfriends! Why would I hit on men who are clearly married!?!?!?

No wonder there are women with trust issues! They're shady characters themselves!!

Once I find out a man has a girlfriend/fiancee/wife, he is off limits...forbidden fruit...out of competition..

There could be a different take on it...

As someone who is not single, I am more likely to talk to a married guy out with his single buddies, because my friends can hit up the single guys and I can just chill out and know this guy isn't looking for anything other than conversation (and if he is... NASTY). There's a big difference between that and hitting on, though... I would NEVER hit on a married man!

Replying to a comment from the first page...

My fiance wears an engagement ring. And he never takes it off. How lucky am I? :D

Well, if he leaves the house and forgot to put it on, I wouldn't be terribly mad. But if he knowingly goes out often (especially to places such as bars or clubs) then you bet I'd be pissed. It's obvious what he's doing.

[/B][/Quote]
All couples should spend time apart from each other occasionally, and to say that marrieds should only socialize with marrieds - I don't even want to start on that one. If someone's really your friend, you don't dump them or not do things with them because they're not married and you are (or vice versa).

If a married man or woman can't go out for a night with the boys/girls without getting into trouble, the marriage had problems to begin with. [/B][/QUOTE]

I agree with this. My husband goes and does his thing, and I have friends with whom I will go out from time to time. I also know, whether he's wearing his ring or not, he is not out to portray himself as single. If he were putting on like he were out to hook up, that would be more than a problem. Like you said, if one or the other can't go out without getting into trouble, the marriage had problems from the start.

As for socializing only with other married people... it isn't always so simple as to say that you shouldn't dump your single friends the second you get married. I do have single friends, but most of those I spend more time with are married. It isn't that I care about the marital status of others, but married people just relate to the responsibilities of family life more readily than someone who isn't married. For example, I have a single friend (who still lives with her parents, btw). She'll call wanting to get together, and then will be extremely upset if I can't go because I have to clean the house or have my son. My married friends, on the other hand, have the same duties to tend to and aren't likely to react in such a way. I've also had single friends who cut me off after I got married. So, it can go both ways.

Comment about rings & safety
 

I am not married, but my husband better be wearing his ring 24/7. (Or have a good reason not to!!!) http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/tongue3.gif

I was engaged once to an officer in the military. (THANK GOD I didn't marry him!!) We looked into putting a small cut in the bottom of his ring so if it got caught on something - it would "break away" rather than damage his finger. Ring injuries are called "degloving" and can be quite bad. I have seen quite a few. Pretty nasty!

The other option was to get him a "work" band that he wore while he was on board his ship. But he decided to cheat on me with my best friend...he made the decision for me. NO WEDDING BAND NEEDED! http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/splat.gif

I definately agree that 'hiding' your availability status (when you're already married/engaged/committed relationship) is like lying.

Hiding things from your significant other & lying to others about your 'status' are both major red flags.

I agree with those who said red flags for a guy who is "situational" about his ring (unless it is safety related like some of you have mentioned).

Funny ring story...

My guy was SOOOOO not into jewlery when we got married. He never even did the earring thing like so many college guys were doing in the 80s, never wore a high school ring. When getting his ring sized he ordered his ring, against the advice of me and the lady in the store, big enough to easily slip over his knuckle. On the 3rd day of our honey moon we were climbing Dunn's River Falls and he decided to take a swim in one of the little pools. When we got back on the bus to go to the hotel I noticed his ring was missing and asked if he had left it in the safe, as I did with my ring. His look said it all. He lost in in the Falls. I bawled my eyes out for about 30 minutes. When we got back to the statesI made him immediately go to the jewlery store and get another one. I am SOOO glad I took the advice of a girlfriend who suggested that I buy him a "starter" ring, until I was sure he would wear it/not lose it. Her husband has lost about 5 rings in 15 years--but then again he is a Marine and refuses not to wear one, even after she told him it was o.k.

I think the ring I bought my hubby was like $45. Seven years later he still has ring #2. He's been hinting for an upgrade....
So, if you are ever in Dunn's River Falls and find a ring engraved with Forever Love SMB to TAB 4-27-96 let me know!!