First year rushers
 

Ok, Ok, we give out thousands of tidbits of advice to our GC PNM's who are nervous about going through rush. But what about those of us who will be rushing on the other side for the first year and are just as nervous? Can some of the more experienced rushers in the group give any suggestions to those of us who are new to the sorority side of rush? I think it would be just as helpful!

Remember that the girls are just as nervous as you are (probably more), so take deep breaths and just relax. Come up with a few interesting topics beforehand to discuss (ie something cool you did during the summer, recent interesting movies, cool things to do in town) that will jump-start conversations and not be the trite "So, what dorm are you living in?"

i always like to take my cues from older sisters who have not only been through rush before on the sister-side but also like it a whole lot! the sisters that enjoy formal rush the most will have the best advice regarding conversation starters and meeting girls and getting them interested in our particular sorority...regarding conversations, a lot of sororities know what NOT to talk about, but i find it helpful to make lists of questions TO talk about as each round progresses...it's also good to remember that even though the questions may get boring for some rushees, it's all about your delivery: excitement is contagious after all and even though they may hear the same question over and over again from different houses, it's your response or your follow-up anecdote that makes the conversation sparkle :)

Thanks for all the great tips so far! I agree w/ Chloe- I'll be on "the other side" of recruitment for the first time this fall, and while I'm a little nervous, I'm so excited for it- hopefully all of us will have great experiences :)

I've only been through informal rush on the other side once, and formal not at all, but I think it's definitely a good idea to have some of what AXOKatie called "follow-up anecdotes" prepared for a lot of the more common questions. For example, when I was talking to a girl during spring rush and I asked her what dorm she lived in, I'd talk about one of my friends who lived there and their crazy roommate, which would get us onto the "crazy roommate" story track, or I'd talk about my experience living in the only all-girls' dorm on campus and how I thought I'd hate it but I ended up loving it. Or if I asked about their brothers and sisters, I'd start talking about how my 16-year-old sister just started driving, and that would get us talking about their family or about some crazy driving stories. Basically, any anecdote that can get you off the "What's your major?/What dorm do you live in?/How do you like rush so far?" path and onto more interesting conversation is good -- it'll make your house stand out to the rushees and it'll let you get to know the rushee better.

Good luck to all you first time rushers! I hope you have a wonderful time on "this side" of recruitment! I'd love to read your stories as well as all the pnm's! Anything rush is exciting to me!

My most important piece of advice is not to ask the PNM the ever ominous and irritating question: "So, do you have any questions?" It's something that far too many women fall back on when they can't think of anything more intelligent to ask. It was one of my hugest pet peeves as a PNM and as the recruitment chair.

I know there are some shy girls out there who need that opportunity to ask a question, but for the most part in my experience, these young women will ask questions if they have any.

Come up with some original questions of your own, to where if you can't think of anything else to say, you have this "back pocket" question that you can ask...for example, "Did you go to any concerts this summer? What is your favorite type of music?"

Do yourself, and the young woman the favor of not asking what year in school she is, or what her major is-- I felt that at the end of day one when I rushed that if someone asked me that question again I was going to scream as they could have read that off my application.

Finally, make a friend...that is what these women are here to do, make eye contact with them, and for goodness sake remember their names!!! And don't be touchy feely with the girl if you don't feel that she is that kind of girl, it just makes some people feel uncomfortable. Have fun...recruitment was the absolute BEST part of being a collegiate, and I encourage those of you who are new or are considering it, to really think about becoming a recruitment chairperson.

I am now stepping down off of my soap box. :D

Wow AOII_LB93 you must be an excellent rusher! the PNMs must have thought you were so down to earth and relaxed!

Hmmm, I don't know how to take that, good or bad*lol*? I've just been through a lot of recruitments. It's something that I have picked up through the past 8 rushes( I missed one because I had just become and alumna and needed a rest), rush workshops and from my experience. I can't think of more fun than recruitment, does that make me an utter sicko, psycho, or just your run of the mill ex-recruitment chair?
:)

Awesome topic chloe!!

This will be my first time at recruitment on the 'other side' and I am both nervous & excited!!!!

I meant it as good. I've haven't read about someone really trying to make the PNM feel so comfortable and not ask those dreadful questions "which dorm?" and so forth

I'm going to have to fall back on the old cliche "keep an open mind" we tell it all the time to PNMs.. but I think sisters need to hear it too.
don't make any snap judgments... even if on first impression there is a girl that you think is "IF-y" at first keep talking and getting to know her, you can find sisters in women who at the beginning of the week you weren't too impressed with !!
Also I think we should all try to remember that we have to share about ourselves as well... I mean this may seem obvious but what I meanis sometimes we get wrapped up in finding out about the PNM and letting them know aobut the chapter as a whole ... that we don't let them know about US individually as much as we should, you know what WE like to do with our spare time...do we have any pets at home... whatever... just make sure they get a sense of YOU and don't just see you as a "sister of XYZ"

Now I'm really nervous bc I have never been on either side of formal rush! I have no clue what I am doing, and I am just praying my sisters will bear with me. I hadn't really thought about it being stressful on this side, but the more I read the more stressed I get :eek: Anyways, (beware! stupid question!) how could you "mess up" on this side of rush?

rushing PNMs
 

Well if you see my thread, im that girl, you can see how being a mess up rusher can get you stuck not talking at all to PNMs. Before that time, I did not even think it was possible to get cut from being a rusher.
But i think both of us just need to look at the tips on this thread and take them to heart. And practice practice practice. I think the problem was is that i heard a lot of this stuff before, however, it was never practiced except once. And what i mean by practicing is have sisters take turns being the PNMs. I think im going to request that we do a lot more of that practice.

I just think that's perfectly normal, myself! There's nothing more fun than recruitment!

Heck, I loved it enough to become Panhellenic Rush Chair one year :D

Christin

RE: how you can mess up on the sister side of rush => during my year as a rushee, my best friend at school (who also became my sister :D ) went through a house-that-shall-remain-nameless during one formal round and was having a really great conversation with her, very smiley, very animated...when we exited the party and went to get a drink before the next party, emily looked absolutely mortified and a bit red in the face...i asked her what was wrong, did the sister at that house say something, she said "Nooooo...she TOUCHED MY KNEE!!!" she yelled the last part so loudly that the girl next to her was startled and spilled her lemonade all over herself!...so i guess the moral of that one is that sisters are afraid of little things like that that can make PNMs want to cut you like a whale on a fishing line

AOPi_LB93 - you are not alone! I thrive on all things recruitment too! It's a major high for me! I'm no longer advising my chapter, and am thinking about helping out my graduate school (which does not have an Alpha Chi chapter) as a panhellinic advisor! I just can't stop! I'm addicted!

Ok...I have to agree with everything everyone else has said...but one thing to keep in mind is that every once in a while you will get that women who just doesnt want to talk...And no matter the question seems to answer it in one to two words...What I give as advice here is just to keep talking about all the wonderful things...Just keep hoping that you can get more of an answer out of them...cause I have found only two reasons that this ever happens...1 they have already decided they dont like you...or 2...they are just really shy...so just keep remembering how much you love your chapter...and hope you can portray that to them...

just thought of something else
 

I just remembered a couple more important things for recruitment and 1st timers, as well as the old folks(you know the ones who've done it twice :) )

a. Ask open ended questions, meaning questions that can't be answered with just a simple "yes" or "no", you can find out much more information about a person and their activities if you ask more than just the run of the mill types of questions. Who? What? Where? Why? How?

b. I understand that in essence we are trying to "sell" our chapters to these ladies, but talk about what makes YOUR chapter special and unique, not about generic "sisterhood". Speaking as someone who had lots of female friends in high school, but a much younger sister(by 13 years) I never understood the concept of sisterhood because I never felt that close to any one female around my own age, so having a whole bunch of girls gushing about their "sisterhood" confused me and made me feel weird because I just didn't understand it. It's something a lot of girls will not feel until they really get involved, go through their pledging ceremony, or get initiated...and sometimes even later. To be quite honest, I don't know how many people ever really experience it, I know I have, but I also know of sisters initiated at the same time as I do who never did and still don't.

C. Practice your conversations, as odd as this sounds, practice helps! Rush your dog, your RL sister, your friends, your non-greek friends, but don't let them know you are doing it. What it comes down to is recruitment is all about getting to know people- albeit in a very short period of time, but I digress- and having regular conversations with people and getting to know the person.

d. LISTEN! Listen to the PNMs!!! If you bring up a topic that she seems uncomfortable with, change it! Don't persist...and if she gets going on a topic that she really likes, be interested! You might learn something new/important/(in some cases bad) that will help you later with Membership selection. Try and ask questions that you know will help you remember her. I don't know how many Jennifers we had during recruitment last year, and it was hard for the collegiates to sort through them all, but if you remember certain things, it might help later.

I can't tell you how much all the recruitment workshops I have been to have helped me in my life/career. Because of all of them, I have learned how to listen, and how to ask questions to get the answers/information that I need and want to know.

Anyhow, if I can think of anything else, I will post it. These keep coming to me.:D

LOL, the part about rushing your dog cracked me up...i can just see my little westie looking at me like "Huh?" if i started talking to him, saying "Alpha Chi is the best!..." but the part about practicing conversations is soooooooo true! it helps to get in the rush groove, especially right from the start, so that you know your stuff by the time recruitment actually begins

Be prepared for anything. :) Most girls who come through will be somewhere in the middle of the road as far as being enthusiastic, talkative, etc. However, there are always a few exceptions.

~Some girls may want to talk your ear off and never let you get a word in edge-wise.

~Others are extremely quiet, either because they're shy, nervous, or they just don't want to be there.

~There is also the rare exception of a girl who may ask a very very unexpected, inappropriate question that will make you feel uncomfortable or upset. Last year, a girl I was rushing asked a sister and I, "Do you guys worship the devil?" :eek: We handled it well by responding with, "All of our rituals are based on Christian principles". We still don't know whether she was asking it because she was afraid, or because she was hoping that we do. LOL.

~No matter how tired you are by the end of the night, don't let it show. If you still at least pretend to have energy, that energy will rub off on the girls you're rushing.

~Try as hard as possible to remember the name(s) of the girls you meet and something they're wearing or what they look like to help you put a name with the face later on. You could even do word association in your head such as, "Patti has a pink shirt."

:)

At all of our recruitment events before pref, there are tables around the room with Phi Mu, pink, and lion-oriented items all over them which sisters bring in. If we have trouble talking to a quiet girl, that's always one avenue for jump-starting a conversation. Very, very few girls can look at a bunch of pretty scrapbooks with lots of smiling pictures and NOT ask questions. :)

This is all great advice! Keep it coming!

This will be my first time on the "other side" as well as in recruitment! I joined a colony and never went through formal recruitment, so I'm a little nervous because I don't know what to expect!

just wanted to bump this up as recruitment approaches for all those first timers and girls who need brushing up!
:)

Have faith in your sisters to help you out when you're having difficulties with a PNM. You may be nervous but know that your sisters, who have already gone through recruitment on 'this side', will help you out. When you're talking to a PNM, feel free to go off on tangents - that's usually where the best and most comfortable conversations come from and know how to bring it back somehow to something sorority related. Be able to poke fun at yourself because laughter eases nervousness and the PNM will also note that you're not a sorority nazi so she'll open up to you. That's all I've got for now. More than anything, just be comfortable and confident in yourself and in your sisters and that'll show through when you're recruiting the PNMs.

i am guessing that all pnm's
 

will have on nametags. when you meet the woman you will be escorting for that event, repeat her name by using it in a sentence. for instance, say,"hi, jocelyn(pnm), i'm lisa. welcome to zeta tau alpha." then as you talk, use her name several more times. does anyone remember that rule of thumb about remembering a new person's name? isn't it repeat the name three times(appropriately) in succession. and if your mind goes blank, you can always sneak a peak at her nametag. don't be surprised if a sister comes up to meet your guest and you draw a complete blank and can't remember your sisters name! again, check out her nametag.

i was always told that everyone's favorite topic is themselves, so if you can get your guest talking about themselves, the conversation might flow. just remember that it is your job to keep the conversation going , to get to know the pnm and to let her know about your organization. foremost, you want each pnm to have a good experience and to think that your chapter is full of nice women. best of luck. lisa

Sounds easy...but KNOW WHO YOU BUMP!!!

If you use a bump system. ;)

omg...that would freak me out!! i'd probably have try not to crack up if that happened, but it's funny and sad at the same time. :eek:

Re: i am guessing that all pnm's
 

But please don't be obvious when doing the nametag check! My friend had it happen to her when she was going through recruitment last year: While walking to the door to leave, the rusher said, "It was so nice to meet you ... Sarah!" with an obvious pause where she blatantly checked the nametag. If you as a rusher blank on a PNMs name, just do try not to be obvious about the nametag check.

There's some great advice here. :)

I second the advice of not just asking the PNMs "so do you have any questions about XYZ?" I got that from every single sister I talked to at one sorority during FR. I had a few questions I'd thought out ahead of time, but when those ran out, I felt put on the spot to come up with something, anything, to ask, and it made me very uncomfortable.

Trust your sisters or brothers! Unless there are very few PNMs, you are not going to get the chance to meet them all, and you will have to rely on your sisters' or brothers' judgement.

Practice your conversation skills, especially if you are shy or quiet. Your sisters or brothers can help you there.

Leave your watch at home, so that you're not tempted to check it while talking to a PNM. If you're a girl and you feel naked without your watch, get a pretty bracelet and wear it on that wrist.

Never badmouth anyone. It's ok to say "ABC is the best" but don't follow it up with "and DEF sucks." Be a lady or gentleman.

And relax :)

We actually weren't allowed to wear watches, to prevent this problem. I would sneak peeks at the grandfather clock as we walked through the foyer, though. ;)

This is probably a good idea for PNMs, too. You don't want to end up checking your watch out of habit and give the impression that you're eager for your time at that house to be over.

for the love of everyone's noses, pleeeeeeaaaaase wear deoderant, but don't wear perfume! when fifty or sixty girls get together in a house and are wearing everything from chanel #5 to rasberry body lotion, it can get really hard to breathe

We weren't allowed to wear watches either, as a rule... but we always had that one sister (usually me, lol) who would either forget to leave her watch at home, or who had a legitimate reason for needing to have a watch on before or after the day's parties, and who would then have to leave her watch in the back room - from which things could, and occasionally did, walk away. So leave your watches safely at home!

Both of these cannot be stressed enough!! Practice, practice, practice your conversational skills, on your family, in your GLO, even in line at the grocery store! Be able to talk to both kings and commoners (as my mama always says). If you need to, have two or three short but funny stories "memorized" that you can fall back on - like when you signed up for Class A thinking it was Class B but you met your boyfriend, or the Psych Prof that asked you to show your ID and you read it as Freud's id, and thought he was a pervert - that sort of thing.

And do relax! PNMs can sense fear just as easily as anyone else. You're already IN your sorority. You are talking to someone who would like to be in your sorority. Be gracious and calm.

I'd like to add one thing: PLEASE gargle or use breath mints between each and every round!!

Glad I read this thread.

Since our Recruitment Chair will not be able to be here in the fall I get to take over. Since I've never done it before...I'm getting nervous.

You all had really good advice though.

Another tip... try to get yourself paired up with an experienced rusher. Lots of times chapters use a two-on-two system, and that way if you get tongue-tied, there's a more experienced woman to help you out.

This is a tip for all rushers, but especially useful for newbies. Come up with a specific answer to this question:

What made you choose XYZ? Why did it stand out above all the rest?

Got an answer in your head? Great! Now write it down. That's important.

Also, have 3 or 4 go-to questions to use in case conversation drags: "What's your favorite movie?" is always one I like. The ideal question will have nothing to do with sororities and give the PNM a chance to relax and talk about herself in an area where she feels comfortable. "Do you have any pets?" is also another good one. The great thing about these questions is that after you and the PNM have chatted about her favorite movie or her German Shepherd, you can then turn the conversation gently to your chapter: "Yeah, I'll never forget the time when my goldfish died and my sisters held a funeral..." That sort of thing (though maybe not quite as morbid). :p

There is a lot of great advice in here! I'm going on my second FR and I did a informal one as well and a lot of this thread helped me for this FR. I plan on bringing it back to my chapter to help out those who never been through FR.

It is a good thing to avoid the "what year are you?" "what's your major?" "do you commutte or live on campus?" (commutter school here) I think by the end of the night they just want to scream at you bc of that questions...although it would be nice to get the applications before the parties even start to try and avoid those questions...but thats something we have to take up w/our CPH lol. :rolleyes:

another tip
 

For those of you about to recruit on the sorority side - watch David Letterman, Jay Leno, and Jon Stewart. They have great conversation skills! Notice how they pay close attention to what the guest says and get their next questions from that information. You can always tie something they said back into your chapter - if they are musical, you do All-Sing or something similar. If they are athletic, you participate in Intramural sports. Stuff like that! Just act like you are meeting someone in class or at a restaurant and treat them like a "normal" new friend rather than someone to spit facts to. Believe me, they'll appreciate the relaxed, regular conversation rather than recitation of philanthropy, social, mixers, blah blah blah!

Beth
jwright25

You know, I really love the idea of more than one sister at a time talking to PNMs. I find it easier to talk in a group (even if it's only myself and two other people) than one-on-one. Unfortunately, our school's Panhellenic has a rule against more than one sister talking to a PNM at a time. So I'm going to have to work on my one-on-one conversation skills. :p