Something for PNMs to Remember
 

I thought of something today that I want all PNMs to remember this fall during rush. Sometimes when a group of PNMs go through rush they feel pressured to stick together in deciding which sorority they would like to be in. I know I felt like I'd grow apart from my friends in other sororities, or that they'd make better friends in their new sorority and forget all about me. I've now graduated from college and things turned out much differently than I envisioned during rush. First off, I ended up transferring after my freshman year to a school without my sorority. Now, 3 years later, the girls I keep in touch with do include several of my sisters I pledged with, but the one I keep in touch with the best is actually someone who depledged my sorority. And another friend who's still very close was indeed in a different sorority from me. Both of my best friends (one from childhood and one from the school I transferred to) are in sororities different from mine. It doesn't matter that we're all in different sororities, we still have the common experience of being members of greek life. And no matter what sorority you choose to pledge, your true friends will ALWAYS be your friends.

Not sure I put that as elloquently as I had wanted to, but the point is, do NOT follow your friends just for the sake of sticking together. I know way too many girls that have done this and ended up miserable because they were in the sorority that was right for their friend, not for them. Be yourself and just have fun! :)

kristi ann, i couldn't agree more. when my best friends and i went through rush, we all promised ourselves that no matter what happened we woudl remain friends. and we have! 4 of us are in sororities: 2 of us in the same, and the 2 others in different ones. one of my friends went through rush and then dropped out because it wasn't for her. although i love my sorority and all my sisters, and love spending time with them, i'm glad that my friendships outside of greek life will continue to grow and stay strong. so all you PNMs, don't follow your friends! you will end up where you are meant to be!

I have to say something about this for members of the active chapter. NEVER think b/c 2 girls are stuck together like glue during rush that they are a "package" deal. Some girls may have just met the 1st day of rush or were best friends since high school. never let it affect whether you offer the person a bid. we had a girl we really liked, thought she was a "package" deal with another girl, but we decided to bid her anyway. Well, we got her and her friend went to another house (ironically, the one that we share a wall of our house with!). things work out for the best and both were very happy with their choices. :)

Re: Something for PNMs to Remember
 

You worded that beautifully, and it's oh so true. Be yourself, have fun, get to know a lot of new friends and find the sorority that's right for you!

Very wise advise, Kristi Ann! Thanks for posting :)

Everyone in my Rho Chi group literally went with a different sorority! The fun thing is, three of us stayed close, and also became active in Panhellenic Council - because we learned early to think panhellenically!

On the other hand, I would advise PNMs to be sure to check out who else is at the last two parties - especially pref. These are the ladies who the chapter sees as future sisters - YOUR future sisters!

I went through rush with 4 of my best friends. We were all determined to stick together and most of the chapters probably thought we were a packaged deal. I even later found out from my Big that my own sorority had labeled me a packaged deal with a friend of mine before rush had even began; some girls from my HS knew the two of us were coming through rush and told the chapter that we'd probably follow each other into the same sorority.
After the second day of rush, the 4 of us knew that our interests were very different and our hearts were all in different places. I went ZTA, another went KD, and another went Tri-Delta. The 4th was torn between Tri-Delta, ADPi, and KD. She went with Tri-Delta because she wanted to be in the same place as my friend. After a year, she realized she would have fit in better with ADPi or KD and ended up dropping the sorority. It was a heart breaking experience for her because she never got to feel that "sisterhood" since she never felt she had fit in with her chapter and she kept longing to be in another chapter. (sidenote: Tri-Delta is WONDERFUL on my campus; my friend just did not fit into the chapter...that's all I'm saying. :) ).
It was the best decision that we all made, though. We all (except friend #4) picked the house that was best for us. I don't think we would have been happy following each other all to the same house.
I always tell girls who are torn at prefs because they don't want to leave a friend that if you are truly friends with someone, you'll stay friends no matter what sorority you're in.
All 4 of us are still friends to this day. (well...that's a lie, friend #3 and I aren't but that's because we lived with each other junior year....HUGE mistake....)

Maybe my chapter is weird but my non AST friends are my saving grace. Sometimes after a long chapter meeting or a bit of drama, you want to hang out and NOT think about the sorority stuff. I don't in any way mean to sound negative but you put 30+ girls in a room, drama is bound to occur occasionally. They totally keep me sane and able to be in the sorority. I dunno maybe its just me, but you need life outside the sorority too.

Important Hints...
 

Bumping the thread back to the top.:)

I think this ladies have some very good pointers for the PNM's kristi_ann81, AOIIalum, honeychile, AAgammagirl, lalaelon & KillarneyRose (I hope I didn't leave anyone out). :D

44 days until the 1st of 3 rush info sessions and 55 days until recruitment.;) Ok I'll stop now.:)

I just want to tell the PNMs to always follow your heart. Go where you heart tells you, not where your friends tell you.

And...GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!:D

One more quick point: Don't liste nto what other people say! Go into rush ready to check out every house...who knows, maybe the last one that you expected will be the right one for you! Good Luck! http://superbabies.homestead.com/files/ylsurprise.gif

Thanks for the advice! One of the uppers to transferring and then rushing for the first time is that you don't know anyone, and it is really a time to show people who you are. I see rush not only has a good experience and hopefully to get a bid and find a family away from home...but also to meet some great people, whether they join a sorority or not! I'm so excited, August is just too far away!:D

honey august is next week!!!!:D :D
37 days until smiley's rush! aaahhh!!!

Yay...9 or 10 days til I move into my apartment! :)
Boo...its still 38 days til Orientation, and 44 days til Bid Day :(

34 days left till recruitment for me!!;)

I think all the advice people are giving is so helpful. I wish I had heard all this when I was going through (just to save some headaches and confusion). My advice, after seeing friends set their hearts on one specific chapter and not win out, is just to BE OPEN MINDED throughout the process. Don't talk about your "favorites" with other PNMs. Don't think you have to go where other girls from your city/state/school/neighborhood have gone. You will be much happier if you fin the place right for you, not other girls with the same zip code as you.

I agree. To a certain extent, I think that we could take a lesson in discretion from our NPHC potentials and our NPC PNAMs. It'd be much easier for PNMs truly to follow their hearts if they didn't have an entire group of friends/colleagues pulling them this way and that. Also, keep in mind what your mom always taught you: If you can't say something nice, keep your trap shut! ;)

As things get near, I just want to reiterate what KappaKittyCat and AlphaChiCutie have said.

College is the time when you step away from the crowd and become your OWN person. It's a time when you need to discover who you are in your OWN right. It can be difficult to look beyond the old hometown pull and the pressure (tent talk) of those you've known over the years or girls you see and think they have it all going on. How can THEY possibly know what's best for YOU?

Many girls have gone through rush and at the first moment of disappointment, quit. Others have never gotten over the "loss" when they see their friends going to "different" parties, more parties OR, as they have been led to believe, better parties.
Do not let this deter you. IF you want a Greek Life and IF you're
open, you may find more happiness and opportunity to become the person you were meant to be than had you followed the norm.

May I add-not everyone IS suited to sorority life. Sometimes as you go through the process it may become clear that this really ISN'T you. There is nothing wrong with those feelings. Just don't
deny yourself an opportunity based on someone else's experience with recruitment.

Excellent advice all around! Standing ovation for everyone!

Bravissima, ladies! I hope at least some of you were Rho Chi's, because your advice is so marvelous and helpful.

I got sort of lucky when I went through recruitment. I rushed as an older, wiser (sometimes ;) ) sophomore. I'm from New Jersey at a school where most people are from North Carolina, so no same-zipcode issues. Also, I'm a music major, and most of us tend to stay "with our own kind" as far as venturing out of the music building goes. There are also three excellent music fraternities, so many who want Greek life look to the School of Music itself to provide.

That said...the week of recruitment is very emotional. For me, everyone looked wonderful, and I had a difficult time choosing where to go back. Just quiet all those clamoring thoughts, doubts, ideas, emotions, etc, and listen to the quiet voice of your heart. You really will know where you fit best, if you take the time to relax and let your true feelings show. You may end up somewhere completely unexpected, like I did. But no matter what, you'll end up somewhere amazing. Good luck to all of you. You are each amazing women who will be assets to whatever sisterhood you eventually call "home."