lonely and depressed...
 

I know this is so stupid to be posting my personal feelings here, but I just have held things in for too long.

And this is sooo corny, so I'm sorry. Please don't think I'm stupid.

It's just that it gets so lonely. I mean I've been single for 3 years and in this time have not dated anyone. In fact I've only been on one date in my entire life, and that's because I asked the guy. (The guy I went out with never took me out). I'm now 20, close to 21, this will be my fourth year in college, and I'm still alone.

And I know I'm not the only one not dating anyone. But it's so hard right now. Out of my original 3 friends I made at the beginning of my freshman year, 2 just got married and the other is engaged. Several other friends are getting married or are in serious relationships. I've gone to 2 weddings this summer and another one is tomorrow. It's not that I want to be married yet...because I don't...it's just that i wish I had someone in my life. Or at least a date...I've always wondered what it would be like to be asked out, and taken on a date. I've never had that.

I get so sad when I'm out with my friends/sisters and they talk about their boyfriends. And I get sad when I go to the movies with my friends and there's all these couples there and it reminds me how no one has ever taken me out.

There's been so many guys I have liked. One turned out to be gay, which absolutely crushed me. The others, if they found out I liked them, gave me the "I just see you as a friend" speech. One of my closest guy friends I have liked since I met him a year ago, but I'm not going to let him know that. What's the point?

And right now this whole stupid post sounds like a teenybopper writing into Seventeen magazine for help. So I'm sorry. But I'm really hurting. I don't understand...I have a LOT of friends and a full social calendar. I don't consider myself ugly. I am not shy (although I have a hard time letting feelings show towards guys). I am active in my sorority and in several performing ensembles.

I feel like I was meant to be alone. I feel like guys don't like me, and don't want me. I feel like I can't be seen as date material, but only as a friend. I've not talked to my friends about all this because they've all got boyfriends and a few are married, so how can they relate? Plus, when they're so happy, why depress them with my sob story? I've felt so alone in this and have fought back tears and put on a fake smile for too long.

Is it stupid of me to feel this way? I just feel totally lost.

I'm not trying to trivialize what you're saying, but I know what you mean . I'm 23 years old, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never gone on a date, I've had one person tell me he liked me, but by the time we discussed this, he only saw me as a friend/sister. My friends from freshman year of college are all married, engaged, or seriously involved with someone and on the verge of engagement. I try and put on a brave face about not having a boyfriend with most of my friends (there are a few I can talk to about it)...I feel, as you do, that I'm always meant to be the "friend" to all the guys that I am attracted to. I'm super shy, so I don't even have the guts to talk to someone I like and TELL them I like them. It's something I need to work on.

Hang in there....the right person is out there for you somewhere....and until you meet him, we can always commiserate together here on GC. :)

I'm sorry that you are feeling lonely and depressed. I think that I had two real dates in college and no real boyfriend. It was a lonely time for me and for many of my friends. It's difficult when the world seems to revolve around couples and you're single.

Things improved immensely after college. Not only for me, but for many of my friends. The only advice that I have is to put yourself out there if you want to start dating. Tell your friends and family that you are looking to meet someone. They might know someone. If they don't, don't be too disappointed. People meet in strange ways. I know someone who met her fiance by going to her church and asking her priest to pray for her to bring someone special into her life. The priest said that he knew someone who is looking also and introduced them. :) Many people meet at school, work, volunteer groups, church, and even bars. I wish you the best. :)

I'm gonna give you simple, short advice I got from one of my sisters who is getting married this august

One day a man will put a ring on your finger and he will love you more than anything, timing is everything and IT WILL COME TO YOU

I kind of live by that, college is hard time, I dated a guy for over a year while I was at community college and through most of my first year at the school I'm at now, its been over a year and I've been on 3 dates and have kissed 3 guys and it kills me cause I see so many of my sisters either in a long term relationship heading towards marriage or just lining the dates up, but we all have to live our lives a little different I guess, it has nothing to do with your looks or your personality, it all has to do with timing.

Sweetie I can sympathize. I have been single for a year now. The last relationship I was in was with my now ex-fiancee. And at first I just kept to myself and wasn't interested in dating cuz I just wanted to focus on getting life back in order. Now I'm ready and there's no one for me.

I'm 23, live alone, work and go to school full time, all my friends have serious boyfriends or fiancee's...they don't know anyone single to hook me up with. The only men I meet are coming into my store to buy diamond rings for their girlfriends or wives...

Talk about depressing. I make other female's dreams come true but yet I can't have the same thing :(

I'm ready to date again...but dunno where to find the guy. I try not to go looking cuz that only makes you settle for the wrong man. But seriously, WHERE DO YOU FIND A GOOD GUY THESE DAYS? Certainly not online, certainly not in a bar....where else is there? Church?-but then it's like odd cuz you shouldn't be picking up on guys there and I refuse to do that.

Oh well. I know things are rough. Sometimes you gotta just SIT DOWN with some good friends, some chocolate and beer and have a Sex in the City marathon. Then you won't miss guy's so much ;)

hootie I feel yah, do yah ever feel like you don't even know how to date anymore?

I just feel OLD now. LOL. Like I'm not into partying anymore and I pretty much don't flaunt my body in tight clothing so when I go out if feel totally out of place. I don't know that I feel like I don't know how to date as much as I feel that I don't know how to attract a guy anymore.

me too, I mean I party, but I've never been one of those girls with the ridiculous sticks figures and the perfect straight hair who could spit and make guys come running...and men in college are completely useless, plus I'm 22, so I'm older than the vast majority of them

I am 30 years old and I haven't had a date in nearly five years (and that was a disaster in itself). I don't have a boyfriend and hadn't had one since High School. My mom thinks that is not normal since some of my sisters are either married or in relationships (and I am the oldest member and alumna of the sorority). Part of me thinks I am not ready to be in a relationship and the other part thinks that I should make it happen. I have a crush on a friend and he is seven years my junior (he is only 23). I don't know if it will materialize and survive a lengthy distance (he is in NY and I am in Arizona). I am also shy and don't always open up that easily!

I understand that you are depressed and lonely because you are not in a relationship. Sometimes it happens when you least expect it, but other times you need to make that move. Have patience and it is not stupid to feel like this! Good luck!

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Oh girls I can totally relate. I am 31 and most of my friends are either married, married with children or in serious relationships. I just broke up with my on/off again boyfriend of 3 years for the last time-it was a very dysfunctional relationship and I defintely don't want to repeat my mistakes. Will the right guy come along?-I don't know but I am tired of wondering and waiting around-it is time to focus on me.

SAIrose, I'm sorry you are feeling down and out. The way I look at it, most of the people who are dating or married are not completely happy. I would rather wait on the right one, than be with someone I can't stand. Looking back, I wish I remained single throughout college, than being on lockdown with one boyfriend who later turned out to be psycho. I agree with PhiMuJulia....the right one will come to you.

Sweetie, I am so sorry that you are feeling down. I am a great believer in kismet. It will come to you when you least expect it. I had a looooong relationship with a great guy, but in the end it just did not work out. It still hurts, but I think kismet may strike twice. BTW, I am "over 40" (lol to those who know how old I really am) but I still think that somewhere there is someone for me. Oh, and my former boyfriend was my best friend in the whole world. That is not a bad place to start.

I just don't know. I go to a smaller church(about 200 members), and I already know everyone there. No date prospects there, and besides, most of the people there around my age are married or in serious relationships.

I sometimes go to the Church of Christ Center on campus, but nearly everyone there is married, engaged, or in a relationship.

I don't go to bars, so that's out.

Online just isn't a good idea.

And at college...I don't understand where I'd meet anyone. I spend most of my time around band people/music majors, and there's no one in band that I would date. Usually I could say that maybe there'd be a cute freshman or something, but this will be my fourth year so it would be a little too weird now to date a freshman.

So what am I supposed to do? I'm not bold enough to ask guys out, hit on them, or let guys know I like them. And the guys I like only give me the "just a friend" speech, so why waste my time?

It just gets to be too much sometimes.

:(

It isn't necessarily limited to women, though. I'm on the far side of my 30s and have yet to marry or have a significant relationship in years. (The one significant relationship I had with a girl left emotional scars on me which took very long to heal, so I take things VERY cautiously now.)

I've already gotten used to the idea of 'no wife, no kids, no hurry for either', but that doesn't make me a confirmed bachelor. Eventually I'll settle down, get married and maybe start a family, but as I've already told my old man, 'don't hold your breath waiting for grandchildren!' :)

First, I do understand how you feel. I was 27 when I got married.
I was the LAST woman standing so to speak-always a bridesmaid, never a bride! Plus my dating history with Hubby, who I met at 17, was often mildly tumultuous, there were many long term breakups. I felt scared and lonely at times too.

Now, as I look back, I wish I would have done more with the freedom I had. I didn't travel, I didn't pursue some dreams all because I was "waiting".

Now I can see that the majority of successful marriages in this little corner are between couples who wed in their late 20s and early 30s. I will admit that most of the men are professionals and completed their education PRIOR to marriage. Not all, but several couples married in college or right after, split up. Maybe it's because so much about you as an individual changes in your 20s.

Things are very difficult for young women (IMO). You face moral and health issues that didn't exist to the same extent as they do now. However, people are living longer and women are able to have children later in life.

A very wise person said-the harder you look for love, the more elusive love becomes. It knows its own time, but it can't find YOU if you're stuck at work or home. The more men you come in contact with, the better chance you will find one you could love.

What I am trying to say is at 23, you have the entire world waiting for YOU. Sure, some people can go to a bar and meet a guy and it works out great, they can go to church groups and all that. You have the greatest opportunity to meet someone if you go out and LIVE. Experience new things. Go to boat shows-(JUST a JOKE) There is some truth there-Men love their toys, find some you could like as well. Just know that many, many feel or hve felt exactly like you do. Never hesitate to share your feelings, that's when GC really shines!

Interestingly, I've seen this exact same conversation on another message board, only it's the guys wondering where to find the right women!

They're out there, searching just like you, but maybe they don't look like a model. Maybe they're not making $100k a year. And almost assuredly, they're somewhat shy.

I met my fiancé at a soccer convention. In fact, I've met several of the men I've dated at a soccer convention! They're good, honest men who enjoy watching and sometimes playing the beautiful game. If you're interested in soccer, pm me for information on the convention. You'll have a great time, whether or not you meet "Mr. Right".

So, you don't like soccer. Do you like any sports? If so, go to a game or match, dress appropriately, and talk to people around you. It can be as simple as "Was that Jones with the ball?" or "That hot dog smells good - which stand has them?" Once the ice is broken, you can make comments all through the game. Well, within reason - he did come to the game to see it, after all! If you hit it off, ask him if he's coming to the next game.

Weekends in the afternoon at parks & such are great places to watch single dads. If you see one who is exceptionally good with his kid, when he sits down, sit next to him and comment that he seems to be handling Visitation Day well. But make SURE he's single! Try watching a few times, and you'll get the idea real quick. Same thing works with dogs, btw.

Do you have any interests that have a club, a round table discussion, or something similar? Go! If you're shy, and someone asks for your opinion (and you're not sure what to say), just say that you're absorbing all the wonderful information that you're hearing ("I'm doing the sponge thing!") then after the meeting, try to talk one on one with one of the single guys.

Hope that helps!

I met my bf in a bar. My sister met hers online. My friends met their husbands in bars, school, at work and in church. You'll never meet anyone if you stay at home watching tv. If you really want to meet someone, go out and enjoy yourself. The minute I started to do that I met men everywhere in banks, bars, and at the beach. I had fun. I enjoyed myself and that attracted men. :)

Girl, I SO feel your pain. We ain't even gonna go there talking about how many depressed days I had or how many times i cried....

I was 34 when I got married (17 days from my 35th). Yes, I did meet him online. Wasn't looking at the time...damn near given up on men. All the good ones were taken, married, gay, or hung up on their mothers!

But let me tell ya, like me, love will sneak up on you and bite you in the azz when you LEAST expect it!

Hang in there and don't settle for BS!

I really feel for a lot of you guys, and my only advice would be that you won't find a guy that you really want in your life until you feel like you don't NEED one.

NEEDY is something that men can read a mile off- in a best case scenario you will simply turn off men who dont want to be needed like that, in a worst case scenario you will find a man who knows how to manipulate that kind of low self-esteem.

I am single and single by choice. I decided a long time ago that I would approach relationships from a position of power- not NEEDING to be in one but valuing myself and what I bring to the table. I have had relationships in that time and they are generally succesful in that both people in them feel like they are getting something out of the relationship, even when it ends. And they end amiably.

Am I lonely? Nope. I have my family and friends, I have my hobbies, I have my never-ending search for the perfect job, lol. There is too much filling my life for me to feel that kind of loneliness (which believe me, I HAVE felt, but that was not about the guys, it was about me and how I felt about myself at that time. Once I got over the feeling that I needed SOMETHING in my life to make it more worthwhile, I realised that the relationships I had were really unhealthy and I had gotten NOTHING out of them). If I find someone who complements me in important ways then that is great. If I dont, it certainly won't kill me.

SO put yourself out there to meet more people in general, but dont go out with the attitude that you MUST have a man in your life because God knows just what you'll end up bringing home!

Wow, you are me from the past, I relate, I felt the same way, I thought I was just destined to be single forever, had no idea what was wrong with me. I realize now that it was my attitude towards myself, people really can see how you feel about yourself, and it casts a negative or positive glow over your attractiveness. No matter how physically good looking you are, negativity, bitterness, self loathing will send it all crashing down. Now I'm in a two year relationship, and I can tell you that these things happen in the most random ways. I can also tell you that perking up just the smallest bit of aggression works - I asked out my current boyfriend myself, and I like to think I shocked him into a date, hahaha. I was lucky to get it right on the first try, but you may find that you have to go through a few guys to find that yes - welcome to what guys deal with on a regular basis! Just dust yourself off and move on, it will happen. Also, if you're very shy and just can't deal with that method, have you given a thought about online personals? I'm surprised no one mentioned it yet, but I know there's still a stigma about finding creepy perverts. I think that nowadays more normal people are using them, and as long as you proceed safely(talking for awhile before meeting, meeting in a public neutral place(and possibly in a group), you might find that to be a good option. I have a few friends that have had good results this way, I dunno if that's because it's NYC, a notoriously difficult place to meet people conventionally, but yeah. And actually, I heard of a site once where friends, coworkers or on-good-terms-exes of eligible guys actually recommend them to other single females. Unfortunately I can't remember what the site was, but if you can find it, that could be a good way to find a "certified nice guy."

I totally agree.

Haha, wow, and YOU are me now! And not just because I'm in a relationship, you are me since the two years beFORE I met my bf when I realized that the most important relationship I'll ever have is not with a guy - it's the one I have with MYSELF.

We are about the same age. I am 21 going on 22 in a few months. One of my sisters basically told me this when i was talking to her about a similar situation. i was all depressed because I thought this one guy that I had a small fling with at the end of summer was everything I wanted in a guy (turns out he's a fake prick, but that's another story). I said, I am 21 and I am running out of time because I am graduating soon. She looked at me and proclaimed "Jen, that's just it. YOU ARE 21!"
Bottom line, you have your entire life ahead of you to find someone special. My big sis is getting married this summer and she is 27. Sure my roommate is dating a good friend of mine so whenever i wanna hang out with both of them, it's almost unconfortable when i get left alone with them. And my other best friend is kinda sorta dating someone else. Oh well. Let them be and do what they want.
I am at the point right now where I have too much going on that I would not be able to sustain a healthy relationship. I just got a FT time job that cuts out my late night socializing, I am going to be going to another school in the Fall, I have a ton of guy friends that act like stand ins so scary boys don't hit on me at bars (it's fun), and I am going to start working out eventually. See no time!

DOn't throw yourself into a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship. I stayed in a long term thing longer than it was worth and it eventually turned abusive.
Enjoy your freedom cuz i am sure when we are hitched up and 40+, we will wonder what we should have done back in our 20s to live it up.

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it really weird that people actually get married at 21 or under? That seems so young to me! I can't even concieve of the whole marriage thing until at the very very least my mid to upper 20s, it is a foreign entity to me now. I also don't know anyone who is married or planning to be below age 25, and I know people from all over the country. Maybe it depends on the region you're living in, but at any rate, despite what people around you are doing, you have to remember to hold yourself in the highest priority - women are not empty voids without a guy around, don't let anyone try to tell you different.

It's not just you! I'm in the "Don't get married before 25" School of Thought

You are not the only one. I have to thank my lucky stars that I didn't even consider getting married to any of the guys I dated when I was in my early 20s. I couldn't imagine getting married that young.

Count me in, too . . . I'm 20 now and I can't imagine getting married in the next five years, at least. I've got other things to do before I even start thinking about it.

sairose,

I think that part of your problem is that everyone around you is in a relationship and getting tied down early, and that's seen as normal. The first guy I dated seriously was freshman year of college...I was thinking it was going to be like a high school thing, date for 6 months or so, then move on to the next one. well this dude wanted to be MARRIED. All our friends (most of whom were upperclassmen - he was a senior) were in pre-engagement relationships. And coming from a small town where marrying and having kids is the be all and end all, it was very hard for me to not go along with it. I stayed in a very emotionally rotten relationship longer than I should have because of those old things that had been instilled in me.

When I realized that I could go out with my girlfriends and have a BETTER time than with him - it was the most amazing revelation of my life. Because I never believed that could be so. To boil it down, a man can't make you happy. You have to make you happy. lovelyivy is so right, if you are putting out the needy vibe, men will want nothing to do with you - unless they're more needy, which is never good.

Do not rule out the freshmen!! If they're hot and nice, it doesn't matter.

There are Christian based singles groups if you would feel more comfy with that. I don't know how close you are to a bigger city, but it might be worth a trip if possible.

I really love the women of our generation. I think that we are the first set of women to really get the impression that there is nothing wrong or shameful with being single, or with finding something fulfilling outside of the home.

Most of us seem to know fairly early on that we have to value ourselves first.

Reading the resposes here reinforces that.

I am in the Don't Get Married Before 30 Club. :) Maybe 35. Maybe Don't Get Married PERIOD. :)

The thing is...I DON'T sit at home all the time. I'm NEVER alone or just sitting around...I go out with friends, I go to Pike parties, etc etc. I'm not shy; I'm VERY social and talkative and outgoing. But not with guys. I mean I'll talk to them, and be friends with them, but I can't flirt. Guys I like never have a clue I'm interested.

In all the classes I've taken I've struck up conversations with guys, but it has never led to a darn thing. Not even a friendship even.

Some of you mentioned online. I know it works for some people, but the guy I went out with 3 years ago I met online. He's a nice guy, and tons of fun...but I talked to him online for a few months and thought I really liked him but once we were together (like in person), I just didn't like him that way. I tried it once, and it didn't work.

I have no interest in being married yet, not at ALL. I don't understand how my friends are married...I feel like we're all too young. I also don't expect guys to just fall at my feet...but I'd like to know what it's like to have someone that likes you. I'd like to know how it feels to be asked out. I'm just too emotional sometimes I guess.

I always like guys that are TOTALLY out of my league. I've liked one particular guy for about a year. He has no clue, and I don't think I will tell him. One, I'm too scared to. And two, why would I when so many other girls like him? He's one of my closest friends, so I know right now I would just hear the "just a friend" speech. The thing is, I just connect with him so well. The first day I met him, we stayed up intil 3 in the morning just talking, and we talked about deep stuff; stuff I don't usually share with people for a while. We're so much alike, and we have so much fun together. But like I said, why bother? I'm tired of getting my hopes up and then getting sad. And people are sometimes like, "well I know this single guy I could hook you up with", but I have kind of a fear of guys I don't really know, and plus why should I have to be set up with someone? Why can't someone notice me on their own? Plus, I secretly hold out for that guy I like as if magically he'll fall in love with me.


:(

I feel like I'm being stupid. I don't want to settle down yet...I just want someone to notice me. Is that too much to ask for? :( :(

i was so glad to read this thread because it echoes my feelings lately. i guess it just goes under the whole "lonely and depresesd" thing...here is my situation:

i just finshed my first year of college and it was AMAZING. best time of my life. in high school, i always had a boyfriend, so i can't say that i've never had a relationship or anytthing like that, because i have. in fact, i broke off a 2yr relationship right before college. it was definitely the right choice, too; i have never regretted it. so freshman year, i had lots of fun, let's just say that. i went pretty wild and met lots of boys....i'm sure y'all know how freshman boys are though (all they want is one thing, and that is not a girl to date!) but i had lots of fun, met lots of really nice guys (despite their tendency to only think about sex, sex sex!), and made a great group of friends that couldn't be nicer to me. i joined AXO and became part of the sisterhood. i like to think that i have a fairly active social life, i mean i don't go out and get shitfaced every night but i don't sit on my ass all the time either (except tonight....ha!) so everything seems fine, and for the most part, it is. but when i came home for the summer, everything changed. i'm now states apart from my best friends, and don't have the social life i had in college. in a way, it's good to be home and just relax, but i miss it. and most importantly, being home and being bored a lot of the time allows me to dwell on the fact that i WANT to date again, no more of those casual hookups that i had at school, but i want one guy. i'm not necessarily looking for a serious relationship, but just someone i can go out with, who i like and who really likes me. i guess i really shouldn't be bitching about this, i mean i'm only 19, but i guess sometimes we all have things in our lives that leave us feeling empty.

and for all y'all out there who have had it up to HERE with asshole guys, "i like you as just a friend" guys, etc....here is a quote that i just love.....learn it, live it, love it!
"never allow someone to become your priority while you remain only their option"

SAIRose, I hear you. Like justamom, I married at 27--I didn't even meet my husband until I was 25! I had just finished my doctorate and gone through some pretty lean dating years. All the other grad students were married with kids. There weren't even any eligible guys around!

After agonizing about this forever, I finally decided to make my life as rich as possible. I would travel, get deeply involved in the community, stay as busy as I could and some day--I just knew it--"my prince would come". (Ole prince is standing over here gulping a Pepsi and OMG:rolleyes: , he just BELCHED, how ROMANTIC!)

Dive headfirst into life until you meet your special man!

I know what it feels like to be at the movies with your best girl, or your rents, or someone you wish could be a handsome man you could hold hands with there is one slight plus, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEND YOUR MONEY ON THEM!!!!!!!!!

I think that's a huge plus. And don't ever rule out the whole online thing. I know several people who have been married from it, and if you're bored there is nothing like just talking to someone else online.

Just hang in there like everyone said, he will come when you least expect it.

Oh yeah, I work at a grocery store, so when I see any decent looking guy, girl, or couple I immeaditly look at their fingers, and ladies, here in my area there are plenty of single looking guys not tied down! So yes they are around!

Great advice!

Thanks
 

I just wanted to thank you guys for all the advice/support. I feel better knowing that I'm not alone. And it's true, I do have plenty of time, and I'm having too much fun right now in life to settle down...settling down means no more Pike parties. :D (Can you tell I'm very partial to Pike? :D :D :D)

I still get a little sad, but thanks everyone for putting things in perspective.

sairose: There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said on these pages. I will say that I am envious.

Ok everyone....how about a flipside problem? I'm 24, madly in love, and getting married soon. My friends are not. Most do not have significant others & don't really want to have one. Also, my friends are spread out all over the country. The ones that are in Pittsburgh are all about going to clubs & stuff and that isn't my scene anymore (don't let my post in the Random thread fool you).

So, I'm pretty much alone in a city where I don't know anyone and am far away from family & friends. Sometimes I want to put an ad in the paper that says, "Won't someone be my friend. Pretty please?"

Maybe it's the whole graduating from college and being really on my own angst that is getting to me. It just sucks though. I cry all the time because I haven't been in this situation before and don't know how to handle it.

Anyone have a similar problem and could give me advice?

sairose,

I don't know what else I can add to what has already been said, other than my own story... I'd been in a relationship with a guy who turned out to be a slimeball. I really wanted to get back into being in a relationship, but I just couldn't find an attractive, unattached guy. So one day, I officially gave up on the idea of being in a relationship, and decided to go to a party and just have a good time with my friends... and that's where I met my husband.

The right person will come along when you least expect it. Meantime, don't get hung up over not having a guy in your life... just enjoy being single! :)

I'm having the same issue, but mine is cyclical. I know my problem is a deep, DEEP rooted fear of rejection. I feel as if I will literally die if a man rejects me, so I don't try. Yes, it's an irrational fear, but one I am working on...

Also, someone said not to be needy. It's actually ok to be needy, really. It's nice to need someone around. Being vulnerable is something we have to risk to allow someone to come in and take care of us and be there for us. But you don't want to be clingy. There is a difference.

Clingy means you are afraid to be without that person. Clingy screams of insecurity. Neediness whispers vulnerability...

Hey Moxie, while I don't have your problem (I am pretty much grounded in my family- friends come and go but my cousins are always there living close by and a total anchor for me) I am sitting here trying to think of ways for you to meet people.

I'm a bit of a loner myself at this point, so I like going out solo and doing my thing, so this is hard but here goes: If you want to meet people why don't you take a class in something you like? I met a ton of people in my bellydancing class who were nice and shared some of my interests. Ditto for my classes at the gym- if there is anyplace you go often and find yourself interacting with the same people, reach out and get to know them! Or at your job maybe? I have made good friends with past co-workers.

That is all I can think of for now. Will post more ideas later if I come up with anything good.

Good luck!