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Am i going too fast?
okay, here's the scenario.
i started my new job and there's one guy who works here who i like. he's pretty cute and really sweet. we have been flirting a lot. it's been about 3weeks since i met him and we've been chatting/flirting every day. is it too fast to ask him out on a date? should i ask him out on a date? i sort of asked him casually to go get a drink yesterday after work. i told him i'd be at a particular bar at 7 if he wanted to stop by and have a drink. he didn't end up coming. i'm not crushed at all. i know his week is extremely busy. he has already worked some 70hrs this week alone and it's just now friday. also, should i have even asked him to meet me for a drink? i seriously need some sisterly help! shelley j sigma k |
I am far from an expert on this matter, but I'll give you my humble opinion.:cool:
I think it was just fine that you invited him for a drink. It shows him that you like him, at least as a friend to hang out with...and who wouldn't like that? Since you have made the first gesture by inviting him out, and since he didn't show, I would say lay low for a little while. Continue to talk to him and flirt with him as you have been so that he knows you like him and that you aren't upset that he didn't show, but don't ask him out again...for anything. The ball is now in his court. So give him a little while to play with it. If he doesn't throw it back within several weeks, then you can try again.:) |
thanks for the advice. but things seem to have taken a whole other turn. yesterday i found out that i was being moved to another office about 20miles away. so i got up some courage and gave him my number and told him to call me and he said he would. well, after i did that we were still standing around flirting for a while before i finally left. i walked outside, got in my car and then sat there for a minute and thought what the heck. went back inside. he started laughing when he saw me. i told him that if he'd go out with me that night, i wouldn't go down to oxford for the night. (i was going down to party with some sisters before their graduation) well, he said yes. so we went out last night to a local bar, had a couple of drinks and then went back to his place to watch a movie. i didn't end up getting home til 4am. we talked and talked and talked some more. he said that if i hadn't given him my number, he would have chased after me when i left and gotten it. :D
i'm very excited if you can't tell. and yes we are definately going out again. probably this week. shelley j sigma k |
I am so happy for you!:)
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Shelly!!!!!!! How exciting!!! I'm so happy for you!!!!
P.S. I never talk to you any more!!!!!! Why aren't you ever on AIM? :( |
i know. it's awful. i'm trying to avoid a certain guy who always wants to talk. anymore though i've been just beaucoup busy with work that i've barely checked email. hopefully things will ease up a bit so i can chat more.
shelley j sigma k |
okay, so now i've been dating him for awhile and i'm totally fallen for him. it's bad. for example, he's visiting friends this weekend and won't be around at all. i don't get to see him for about 4 days. i'm totally pouting about this and don't care about doing anything else. what's my problem. i know he's in to me a lot, but i'm just not sure how much a lot is.
he does everything for me. opens doors, pays for everything, even opens my car door for me (and closes it) he's completely wonderful and he is comfortable enough with me to act like a complete goober when he's with me. (we both act like goobers though) my mom says i glow when i talk about him. what am i doing? am i really falling too fast for him? shelley j sigma k |
SHELLY!!
If you are still making sure you have a life outside of him and arent losing your idenity to being with him ... Who cares if you fall for him! He sounds sweet and thats probably why you like him ;) Im gald hes making you happy! Thats hella cool. :shrugs: Just my oppinion, sounds like your just happy to have a mate :) PEACE |
i'm definately keeping my own life in tact minus him, but right now i'm making a lot of changes in friends and my general social setting. not based on him or anything, just based on the fact that i'm getting older and growing up. we both cherish our individual alone time. and we both have our separate groups of friends as well as our mutual friends, so i think it will be okay.
again, i hate the fact that i'm swooning over a guy like this. it's so not me to do this, but he's just so different. so perfect for me. shelley j sigma k |
Updates please? What's the deal?? Are y'all http://smilies.crowd9.com/otn/love/smlove2.gif or http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies...ing_smiley.gif ???
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we're great. we just attended a wedding this weekend for some coworkers. he told me i was 'hot' and absolutely beautiful. he gained major brownie points for that.
i think we are just at a point that we are getting to know each other's quirks and seeing of we can deal with them. like with him, he has a tendancy to be slightly late by like 10min. i'm the type of person to be 10min early. little things like that. we really do like each other a lot and i can totally see us together forever. he even asked me where i was looking for jobs cuz he was considering a job in the cleveland area. he was being so smooth about how he was asking, as not to make it seem like he was basing his search on me. (but i've sort of based my search on him to a degree) he asked me if i had any desire to live in that area. i said yes of course. :D okay, well, hope that's update enough for you. keep reminding me about it and i'll keep updating. i'm a bit absent minded so need help remembering this sort of thing. SLAM, shelley j sigma k |
oh yeah, one more thing. i got to meet his ex-gf/ bestfriend last week. she is awesome. he surprised me by taking me down to see her and her fiance. he always goes down to visit on wed. night and this week he decided to take me. he has vowed to never allow us to be in the same room together again. we gang up on him pretty bad. it's great.
okay, that's really it for now. shelley j sigma k |
so we finally had our first "fight" today. it was basically just a slightly heated discussion b/c i'm in psycho mode right now. (i am in the process of going back on anti-depression meds)
he was really sweet about it though. he explained a lot to me that i really didn't understand. and when i don't understand something it bugs me. thus fueling my moodyness. so we talked a lot out and things are better. one thing i really like about him is that he won't beat around the bush about something. if he doesn't like something or feels something isn't right, he'll say so. and i love that. i'm not one to beat around the bush myself. okay, enough updating for now. shelley j sigma k |
YAY! Happy couples ;)
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yeah:D
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okay, need some help. having a little trouble here in love town. so where do i start. well, bob's been sick for about a week now, which means shelley hasn't seen bob in a week. on top of him being sick, he's been working a lot. this is nothing new figuring he works about 50hrs a week ususally and those 50hrs are at random times depending on when the story happens, the meeting is held, or the event is taking place. for instance, he didn't get out of the office til 12 something in the morning the other night. and no, i know he's not cheating on me.
i'm just really sad that i can't see him or be with him much. he doesn't want to get me sick so that's just made it that much harder for us to see each other. i call him almost everyday to see how he's feeling and just say hi. nothing wrong with that, he loves to hear from me. but i need help dealing with not being able to see him. i know he's frustrated too, but i don't know what to do. we just had it out on the phone a little while ago, which is why i'm posting this now. has anyone else had to deal with this type of situation? not having time to see your bf b/c one or both of you are too busy? please help. shelley j sigma k |
i posted this on another thread in here, but just to keep up on this thread i'll share here too. so i got to see my boy yesterday. i was so happy to spend time with him. i stopped by after work and we just had a great time. he took me out to grab some dinner and then we just spent time together at his place. i was smiling ear to ear when i left.
although, i'm still concerned that he won't end up coming to my dad's b-day party. did i already tell yall about this? well, my dad is turning 60 this week and we are having a huge party for him. a lot of people from out of town are coming in for it. like my grandpa (85yrs old), my aunt, my brother and sister in law, and some friends from pennsylvania. so this is a huge deal for me to have him come to the party. only problem is he hates to meet new people. he's somewhat intraverted and not overly social, which is odd cuz i'm extremely social. i can walk up to a complete stranger and just start a conversation. he would never do something like that. so needless to say, he really doesn't want to come to the party. but i told him he had to make that sacrifice for me since i sacrificed and met his ex-gf. he said he'd be there, but that he had to report on this big event going on in town that same night. my guess is that he's going to try and draw out this other event a bit so he doesn't have to come to the party til closer to the end. it starts at 7, but he probably won't be there til 8 or 9. what do yall think? shelley j sigma k |
Hi Shelley,
I don't mean to bust in on your forum like this, but I thought, if you didn't mind, I'd like to give my $.02 :D Anyhoo, It sound to me like your guy has a little bit of social anxiety. He's probably nervous all the time meeting new people, but now that he's in line to meet family members he's probably a little more apprhensive. I'm sure he wants to make a great impression on your family, but it may be feeling a little anxious that he won't. Maybe you could talk to him about it. Let him know you understand his feelings, but you would really appreciate it if he was at the party. I think it's only fair that he go, afterall you did have to meet his ex-girlfriend. I hope everything works out. PPL, Emily |
emily!!! long time no see! how have you been? pm me.
shelley j sigma k ps - we have talked about it. and he's already met my parents once. if he doesn't come, he might not have a gf. |
So how'd everything end up?
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well, he came to the party. he got there by about 7:30. he was wonderful. i introduced him around and he chatted it up a bit. he had a really good time. unfortunately, my family didn't get much of a chance to sit and talk with him b/c we were all trying to be so social with everyone else at the party. lots of fun though. he earned major brownie points w/ me and the rest of the family.
i have a picture of him now. i need to post it somehow. i can get a digital pic too. if someone would be so kind as to help this illiterate computer person, i'd be so obliged. oh yeah, so i've been chatting a bit with his ex-gf who i've become friends with. he's just loving that. (yeah right). she asked him tonight while we were over for dinner if he'd told his mom about me yet. he hasn't. so she's going to make sure that we have that taken care of soon. it's not that he doesn't want his parents to know, he just hasn't said anything. as he puts it, they haven't asked. i'm not concerned though. i know i'll meet them soon. shelley j sigma k |
so it's been over a month now since i last updated so here it is......
WE BROKE UP long story short, i was going too fast. we just aren't at the same point in our relationship and it's not working. i'm not happy in the relationship and he doesn't want to see me unhappy. i told him i expected to be treated like the queen i am. he basically agreed that i do deserve that, but he's not quite at a point that he can do it. we are still friends, but for now i don't want to see him or be around him until my hearts had some time to heal. shelley j sigma k |
:hug: Im sorry things didnt work out, but Im glad you know what you are looking for and you wont settle for something else.
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giiirrlll!!!! Wierd, I was totally about to post to this thread today to ask for an update.. I'm sorry things aren't totally working out at the moment, but you never know, some things just have a way of working out - - maybe there will be a second time around. Well girl, you know we're all here if you wanna talk :)
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I'm so sorry, you will find someone who is on the same path as you are and everything will fall into place. I've seen many of my sisters struggle (w/men) and then watched them get married. Just trying to shed some hope for the future. LISK
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