AIs: "First meeting, now what?"
 

To AIs and my fellow PNAMs:

I'd like to hear some thoughts on continuing the intro process once it starts. You meet a group (or the prez/leader) and then...... what's next? Granted, this is an odd time of year when people are getting ready to take a break over the summer. But what kind of follow-up should a PNAM do during this time to maintain that you are interested without becoming a PITA?

I'd be glad to hear thoughts from the other side of this: from the rest of the alumnae out there.

Winding down the day at work......
Adrienne (PNAM-2003)
:)

Send an email (or hand written note if you have an address available to you)thanking them and telling them what a great time you had and that you are still very interested in them.If you hear back from them keep the lines of communication open.Invite someone that you clicked with out for lunch or a drink or something.There were women that I met at the first alumnae meeting that I would have continued to be friends with even if we didn't have the Alpha Phi connection.If you don't hear from them right away, over the course of the summer just send them a gentle follow up reminder or two that you are still here and interested.Schedules get crazy during the summer and it might seem like they aren't interested if you don't hear from them right away but they just might be busy.I would say that maybe one email a month is fine and PITA free.:)

In my case, with sorority #1, I met with the chapter representative who promptly invited me to a chapter get-together a few days later. Sorority #2 also invited me to an event soon after I met with the chapter president, but I wasn't able to attend one of their events until about a month later. The president of this chapter sent me an e-mail whenever they had an event.

Granted my experiences were a little unusual in that I didn't have to do much follow-up at all, but I think it's safe to say that if people are taking time off for the summer, it might not be a good idea to pepper them with e-mails or letters all summer long. I think one letter sent before the break and one letter sent soon after they reconvene is sufficient.

Now go somewhere and sit still, young lady! :D

Well, as everyone knows, I am a PNAM myself. If you go to an event at an alumna's house, then I would write a thank you note to the alumna association president AND to the woman who hosted the party. The same thing goes for if it was a collegiate chapter you participated with.

Or, you can try some of the following to keep your name fresh in someone's mind without being a pest:

- e-mail your contact person with holiday greetings ("I just wanted to drop you a line to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving/New Year/Independence Day...")

- e-mail your alumna and/or collegiate contact on the organization's Founders' Day to wish them the best on their special day. It shows them that you're knowledgable about the sorority's facts and were obviously interested enough to find out.

- e-mail your collegiate contact to congratulate them on their successful rush. Of course, it helps if they have a website or you've heard from a reliable source that they did well!

Yes, these ideas allow you to show interest and keep your name in front of the other person without sounding impatient or odd. But, frankly, I really *am* interested in this group, it's history and the individual ladies - my notes are always sincere!

Also, there is nothing wrong with the occassional straight-forward follow-up asking about how the AI process is coming along.

Now, with "sorority #1" I did actually send a real thank you card to the ladies via the post because I knew the address. With "sorority #2" I did not have that information. Here are three samples of actual e-mails I have sent with minor adjustments:

Non-confrontational follow-up:

Hello!

Wow! It sure has been quite a while since we last spoke! I hope you've had a
great start to the new year!

You may recall, I spoke with you a couple months ago about my interest in XYZ's alumnae initate program. I just wanted to check in with you and see if there is anything I might be able to help out with. Of course, there's always the possibility that it just isn't a good time. That's ok too! Please do let me know if there is anything I can do. Thanks!

{Mynamehere}

-----

A thank you note after a meeting:


{Nameofalumna},

Thank you so much for taking the time out to find a time and place to meet with me. My confidence in XYZ is constantly growing thanks to friendly ladies such as yourself.

Again I am really glad that I had a chance to finally meet you - I had fun! I will definitely keep in touch while in England!

{Mynamehere}

-----

Random greeting:

Hi {collegiatepresident} and the ladies of {chapterdesignation}!

The other day I read that {insertdate} is XYZ's Founders' Day.

Happy Founders' Day! Best Wishes and I hope XYZ has {howevermany} more!

A Friend of XYZ,

{Mynamehere}

------

Again, I cannot stress enough how important it is that you actually mean what you say. No one wants to be strung along by someone who is acting all fake. In my case, I think that "sorority #2" (referred to as XYZ in the above examples) and the alumna and collegiate members are just super-terrific. I really can't wait to get back to the US so I can call them up and hopefully resume the process. So, in a way, my contacting them is just as much about me expressing to them how much I appreciate them as people as it is about them not forgetting who I am. Does that make sense?

It is a fine line to walk when an alumna flakes and doesn't call you back when she said she would. Sometimes it's necessary to be a mild pain in the rear end in order to get a result. hehehe I recently tried a strategy with a non-greek related issue which seems to work. I couldn't get a person to respond to my e-mails. So, I kept the content of the e-mails positive and upbeat as always, but I changed the subject/title as a subtle way of saying "stop ignoring me". I titled them like this:

- HCHS ticket info needed

- HCHS ticket info needed - Attempt #2

- HCHS ticket info needed - Attempt #3

I always get a result by #3. ;) This system has the added bonus of helping me keep track of when I sent e-mails.

Maybe you won't like any of my ideas. That's ok! They worked for me but they may not work for everyone. :)

.....Kelly :)

My experience was kind of like Sistermadly. After the first event, the next day they sent me the complete calendar of events and invited me to them. The president of the group emailed me often. She was very pleasant. I went to the next event and then would get a follow up "nice to see you there" email from the chapter. It was kind of like they were rushing ME.

I would definately support sending a nice follow up letter (or email). I prefer something handwritten since it shows more effort.

I would say the key thing if you don't hear back right away is that you don't want to cross the line from PNAM to sorority stalker! If you don't hear back after a few attempts, it might be time to move on.

Sorry, but I just have to comment. THAT'S the way it should be in my opinion (as someone's who's been in the president's shoes). If you are going to make the effort, then the alumnae Chapter ought to make the same effort.

I would say send a note to thank them, ask what's coming up. We pretty much won't do much after the Susan G. Komen Race in June, but we do have happy hours during the summer (or try).

If they say thay won't be doing anything until Sept and nothing's planned yet then make a note to contact her in August and see what the schedule is.

Hi Adrienne,
All of the above ladies give great advice. I like the idea of handwritten note cards and thank you letters - the art of beautiful letter writing is somewhat lost now in this Information Age.

I was part of a failed colony, so I already had a connection to Delta Gamma, which made things a bit easier. I had met several National Officers who later sponsored me for membership, so that made it fairly straightforward.

That being said, I would say, always send a thank you note after an event that you've been invited to and attended. And if things seem quiet in summer time, I would also send a note out about a month to a month and a half before "recruitment". The sorority will have recruitment of new members on their mind, and hopefully they will be thinking to recruit an alumna intiate too, not only collegians.

Hang in there...it took a longer time for some ladies but eventually they found their home.

Are you talking about becoming an alumnae member of an alumnae group without being a colliegate member prior? Or are you talking about becoming a member of an alumae group WITH being a prior collegiate member? The reason I am asking is because I hate to be the bearer of bad news is that it's very rare to be a PNAM without being a collegiate member prior.

We are talking about ALUMNAE INITIATES (i.e. women who were initiated after college), not collegiate members turned alumnae members.

A Roll Call of Alumnae Initiates and Prospective Alumnae Initiates!

My Advice to Prospective Alumnae Initiates

Yet another AI thread

Actually, if you read through some of the Alumnae Initiation posts on this board, you'll find that many of our dear GCers have become members through Alumnae Initiation. It is something that many GLOs are either opening themselves up to, or, if they were previously open to it, making their members more aware!

Great insights, people!

I admit, I have some issues w/ patience. As I've told some dear GC friends, if I don't have enough stress in my life, sometimes I go out and find some! :p

One of the things I've learned early on and has helped me out in the process is to read first and see which organizations are open to AI, and to what extent, and which are not. Some orgs are very open and gracious and welcoming to someone interested in AI--at least they are willing to hear these women out and give them a chance before saying "yes" or "no." Others are more reserved: they are open to the process, but will be politely direct and say that they do not practice it frequently--but they will still listen to you before deciding one way or the other. Still others are so closed off to the concept that they can't even wrap their minds around it. Fortunately, those groups are easy to spot. For PNAMs who are approaching GLOs, it's obviously best to avoid them.

Whatever a group's policy is, the AI trend is growing, not shrinking. The time is now to start thinking about policies regarding the process and clarifying them in public so everyone knows what they want and gets where they need to be!

Even though the waters are uncharted for me, I feel I'm on the right course and I've got everyone at GC to thank for it!

Adrienne (PNAM 2003)
:D

In my sorority we just don't do it very often unless this person will absolutely make a difference in the alumnae world. And when we do initiate this person she is usually a legacy that never joined a sorority.

Yes, you're right. We actually do know about Zeta Tau Alpha's policy as we have discussed it before! :D
http://forums.greekchat.com/gcforums...5&pagenumber=4

I see that you're a relative newcomer, so I thought I would point the way to that thread for you! :D :D

This is probably why you don't realize that other sororities have very active Alum Initiate programs and do it regularly. Some groups encourage it, others do not. There was a recent thread (as was pointed out) that left me with the impression that ZTA does not do it very often. However, AOII (for one) actively seeks out women who are past college age and who can contribute to local chapters or be of service some other way. We have had two articles recently in our magazine regarding this very issue and how important those initiates can be.

I have to say my exp to be initiated with Alpha Phi was pretty quick.

I contacted A Phi Exec Office last May with a email truly from my heart telling them how much i was interested in A Phi because i had narrowed it down to A Phi and another XYZ group.

As you can see i kept coming back to my favorite one!:D
With that, EO fwded my email to my local alum chapter here in SO Cal and they invited me the next week to a pottery painting party and offered me a bid that night! Actually they already said they were going to initiated me and had the form to fill out that night to send to EO.

We just missed the spring initation by a week so i had to wait til fall initation in Nov. to be initiated and that is where it all began......6 months total( with summer added in and a few months of the fall quarter in there).

When i left college in the early 90s...many and i do mean MANY sororities did not offer alum initiations. Unheard of! If i knew about A Phi back then i would of approached them a lot sooner. But i believe that God sends us on a path and that timing is key.
What i am trying to say is that "then and now" time changes. who was not open to it then is open now and they are embracing women after college to join their sisterhoods.
I just wish the ones who are not open or the ones who are skeptical of it would see how wonderful an opp it could be for them and for women who want to be a part of a sorority.

Sistermadly, Midwesterngirl, Valkyrie and myself are some of GC Alum Initiates that were initated into Alpha Phi and i speak for myself and i hope for them in saying it is the best decisions of our lives!

Good luck in all you do and hope you find a home soon!


Laura:)

My views are that why would someone WANT to join after college? I mean the sisterly bonds start early in college and the AIs won't feel the same bonds since they didn't pledge while a collegeiate. They won't have the same memories nor will they truly feel the same strength of sisters because as a collegiate one leans on their sisters much more so than an AI would. We have much more stress than an AI. They have never paid $330 per semester out of pocket. With us, alumnaes pay $10 per year whereas collegiates pay $660. To me it's a little unbalanced especially with dues.

scpiano,

Your questions are already answered in the threads that CutiePie2000 posted earlier in this thread.

Please do a search, or browse the Alumni Involvement forum if you are interested in understanding the mindset behind AIs and PNAMs.

Adrienne (PNAM-2003)
:)

I don't think ANY sorority will initiate anyone who will just sit there doing nothing, but wear letters. FWIW: I was approached to be the Panhellenic Advisor at my local campus, as DG is not there and therefore, I will be "unbiased". If my work does not take me to a different city by September, I will DEFINITELY be doing just that. I love this quote from the Delta Gamma website:
"We have many outstanding alumnae initiates serving as chapter advisers and PROs, or leading Foundation projects and alumnae groups. They have taken their pledge of lifetime commitment seriously. It is an honor to be a Delta Gamma, not an honorarium. " The DG AI women that I know DO take their commitment to Delta Gamma very seriously.

My views are that why would someone WANT to join after college?
Networking, friendships. I have met and befriended DGs all over my country and also in Australia. I've been pretty mobile these past 2 years, living in 4 different cities. The constant throughout? My Delta Gamma sisters and friends!

I mean the sisterly bonds start early in college and the AIs won't feel the same bonds since they didn't pledge while a collegeiate. They won't have the same memories nor will they truly feel the same strength of sisters because as a collegiate one leans on their sisters much more so than an AI would.

I have to respectfully disagree with you there. Many women do not continue to live in the same cities where they attended college; they move around to different cities, take jobs, etc. and join an alumnae chapter in different cities. Consequently they meet other Alumnae Women who would have pledged the same sorority, but a different chapter. Even though they would be sisters in the same sorority, they would not have bonded with each other during the college years as they were in different chapters, different campuses. I do feel that the bonds can occur in the alumnae arena.

We have much more stress than an AI. They have never paid $330 per semester out of pocket. With us, alumnaes pay $10 per year whereas collegiates pay $660. To me it's a little unbalanced especially with dues.
I can see what you're saying, but I know women who were initiated as collegians who do not pay their alumnae dues now. I was an alumna initiate and I plan to pay my dues faithfully until the day I die. I think it will all "balance out" in the end!

AI
 

>>>We have much more stress than an AI. They have never paid $330 per semester out of pocket. With us, alumnaes pay $10 per year whereas collegiates pay $660. To me it's a little unbalanced especially with dues. <<<

So, are you saying that since an AI has not paid their dues, both figuratively and literally, they should not get the experience? I can understand your outlook on this issue since your sorority is not one that supports much alum initiation. However, the groups that do support it have good reasons for doing so - most of which have been enumerated above. I don't think that your mind will be changed by debating the issue in this thread. Please don't continue to rain on the parades of those groups and individuals who found each other after college and are so happy about it.

Well said, aopinthesky.
I also wanted to say that alumnae initiates are not going ANYWHERE, so the detractors best get used to it.
Thank you.

I also do not appreciate someone calling out my letters when I specifically did not include them. These are my personal thoughts and opinions and not those of my sorority. So, do not rain on my sorority's parade, OK?

What?

What you said!

aopinthesky posted this:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by scpiano211
In my sorority we just don't do it very often unless this person will absolutely make a difference in the alumnae world. And when we do initiate this person she is usually a legacy that never joined a sorority.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



This is probably why you don't realize that other sororities have very active Alum Initiate programs and do it regularly. Some groups encourage it, others do not. There was a recent thread (as was pointed out) that left me with the impression that ZTA does not do it very often. However, AOII (for one) actively seeks out women who are past college age and who can contribute to local chapters or be of service some other way. We have had two articles recently in our magazine regarding this very issue and how important those initiates can be.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't call out your letters so don't call out mine.

My apologies...
 

If I have offended any ZTA members out there, I certainly did not intend to. I incorrectly assumed, I suppose, that the reason scpiano did not comprehend AI is because she had not been exposed to the idea. As some are aware, a previous thread went into some detail about how ZTA does not regularly do AI and only in specific circumstances.
The reason that I see AI favorably is because AOII does support it and I often read things in our magazine and on our website that illustrate the benefits on both sides.
I believe that we form our opinions where we live - I live in the AOII world of AI, scpiano lives in the ZTA world where it isn't really done. That doesn't mean that one of us is right and one is wrong. However, when I read these AI threads and see the sheer glee in someone's post when they are intiated or when they get a hoped for bid, it is very hard to find the negative in it.

thank you. I just didn't want to drag MY specific letters in it. Even if I weren't in my particular sorority I would probably see it the same way because I know lots of people not join because they didn't join in college. I didn't even really know it existed until we initiated a lady as an alumnae and I didn't agree with initiating those out of school. To me, people can see it as an "easy in" if they don't join while in college and they'll in turn pay much cheaper dues. Also, I just don't see it as fair to people like myself that had to go through Recruitment 2 times to get into a sorority. I mean I have to work a job, maintain 15 to 17 hours worth of school, volunteer, and do things with my sorority. Whereas someone that's an alumnae, they will just deal with a possible career and a possible family.

I'm sure you're speaking in hypothetical terms.
After all, no one with any manners would come on a chat board, jump into a thread, hijack it, then insult the people who are looking at AI as a way of contributing themselves and their resources in a way they couldn't have in college.....RIGHT????

;)
Adrienne (PNAM-2003)

Excuse me I have manners and no my friends I did not hijack your thread. Can I not join any threads on this stupid chatboard thing? I mean it'd be pointless to be a member and not join a thread and respond to the statements on the thread. Also, I am not a rude person I was just trying to understand why someone would want to join an organization after college when they had full access to Greek Life in college. Maybe you guys should learn how to answer questions without mannerless and rude responses.

And no I am not talking about anything in hypothetical terms. I really do have to work, maintain 15-17 hours, volunteer, and do things with my sorority. I do not think it's fair for us collegiates to pay such high dues and AIs can go in and not pay such high dues. I mean once I graduate I will have invested over $2000 in this thing and it's just not fair.

I did not see where you asked any questions and I believe that your position (uncharitable as it is) is very clear.

Cheaper dues for Alumnae?????
 

Sorry, but I personally find that statement offensive.

Yes, we do pay cheaper "official" dues - ours are $35 a year I think. HOWEVER, a number of alumnae (myself included) give a good amount of money voluntarily to our sorority (through the Foundation). I know for us, the money pays for many things that benefit our collegians.

We have a number of very active AI's in our organization (and especially in our Foundation) who are doing a number of wonderful of things that benefit the collegians more than the alumnae.

I also will echo what has already been said. Most of the women I was active with in college now have nothing to do with Gamma Phi (probably 90%+) so a college experience is not a big endorsement in my book. But, our newest AI (as of a few weeks ago) was contributing to our alumnae chapter before she was even initiated.

Edited because I've calmed down now. :cool:

scpiano,

Sad to say, stress doesn't end when you get your diploma. Examples include having a family/raising kids, having a full time job, paying school loans, paying a mortgage, forking over $$$ when the roof is leaking, taking care of aging parents... it never ends. The stress says with you; the sources of stress are what change.

peachy

scpiano-- Do not assume that AI is the easy way in. Look into the reasons the AIs did not join as collegians. Perhaps there was no greek life at their college, perhaps a death of a parent soon before recruitment caused them to not have a good recruitment, perhaps they could not afford the dues, yet longed for the experience, perhaps they were a pledge that for one reason or another never initiated. I don't know of any AIs either personally or on this site that sought it out as an "easy" way in. In almost all cases, their search for a sorority that fit them was longer and more frought with difficulty than traditional recruitment.

Also, enjoy the relative calm of school, work and sorority. It gets much worse managing your time and balancing all aspects of your life when you're an alum. Work over 40 hours a week, take a class, volunteer AND balance relationship, family and friends. It is not easy. You will have a leg up on time management with the schedule you have now, but it does not get any easier than what you have now.

I don't know how many people are aware of this, but Alpha Gamma Delta's current International President is an alumna initiate.

She's been a good leader for the Fraternity and I, for one, am proud of the fact that we welcome alumna initiates with open arms. They are my sisters, just like any others.

IMO, one alumna initiate who gives a lifetime of support to Alpha Gam is worth 10 collegiates who disappear after graduation and are never heard from again. Being a member of a fraternity is a LIFETIME committment...if you are willing to make that committment, I don't care if you initiate at 18, 38 or 78.

well said maria!

OK everyone, take a deep breath!
 

I don't want this thread to yield bad feelings! Obviously everyone has their own opinions regarding alumna initiation.

Believe me, throughout my AI process I was constantly concerned about meeting members who disapproved of of alumna seeking membership into their organization. I, in turn, thought that perhaps I had missed out on some of the sorority experience because I did not join as a collegiate. But, thankfully, my fears were unwarranted. EVERY member I met, collegiate and alumna, were excited for me and welcomed me with open arms. They reminded me that the collegiate experience lasts only 4 years; the alum experience is for the rest of your life.

I don't think of the AI process as an easy way into a sorority. Each alumna initiate has different experiences; some of the ladies had a longer process than others, because things did not work out with one organization, etc. In a way the process is kind of like rush, since the PNAM and the members ensure that there's a good fit.

scpiano211,
I've encountered 1 person in the local alum chapter who shared your sentiments on AI. She in now way meant it against me, but she was concerned about how the sorority experience could be diluted through the alumna initiation process. I know you do not agree with the idea of alumna initiation, but I hope you will regard the alumnae initiates of your organization as full-fledged members and great asset to your sisterhood.

I think it is also important to note that the reason collegiate dues are so high is because:
1) insurance-we all know that premiums are insane for greek groups.
2) collegiates are the ones who reap the maximum benefits of the national organization; convention, mailings, publications, manuals, loans, etc.
And those are just two reasons.

It may be difficult to understand, as a collegiate why someone would want to join an organization after collegiate years, but from what I've seen alum initiates are the most active. We even have an alum initiate on our executive council. In their defense, I read the post and these ladies were quite civil and helpful.

My best advice to new greek chatters is to read your post carefully because sometimes the way we intended something with the way we would read and say things and the way it appears in print does not exactly correspond. I understand that you were trying to present your view, but I'm sure that we could turn this into a civilized discussion of why alumnae initiation exists, rather than attack each other because we may not understand each others different views.

scpiano211, this is not just a rare phenom among Soroitys!

There may be many reasons that A I has becime a big factor among Greek Orgs.

This honor to become a member of a Greek Organization is not handed out willy-nilly just to boost numbers!

As has been stated on this thread, many A I members become very instrumental to Their Organizations.

If you XYZ group does not, that is fine. So be it. If your feelings are your feelings, then so be it!

If you want to come on G C and be a member, then you may state your views as we all do. But do not keep antigonizing and saying the same thing over and over!

It has been pointed out that some of the things you discuss on this thread have been discussed on previous theads!

I as the Founding Member of my Local who affiliated am Proud to have A I , not to just add members to the rolls!

Harry S. Truman was an A I member of LXA, and held it in his heart till he died!

Remember, there may have been circumstances that prevented a person from becoming a member in the good ole days of college, but yet still had the calling to be part of something they felt very dear to!:)

You have your opinions, and Many of us have Ours! Si?

Aww Sistermadly--I wish you hadn't deleted that, it was an excellent post.

first of all, i am not an alum initiate, but i can see the attraction to it. there are many women who for whatever reason, do not join glos while in college. quite honestly, i have to quote greeklawgirl bc i agree 100%...

one alumna initiate who gives a lifetime of support to Alpha Gam is worth 10 collegiates who disappear after graduation and are never heard from again. Being a member of a fraternity is a LIFETIME committment...if you are willing to make that committment, I don't care if you initiate at 18, 38 or 78.

there are tons of collegiate members who disapper after graduation. of the 11 women in my pledge class....only 2 of us are involved in an alum group. of the women who graduated a few years before and a few years after me....i can only think of 8 who are still involved. in the boston area alone, there are approximately 5 phi kappa's and i am the only one involved in the alum group. the ratios are not that hot! for the people who are not involved...they got "burned out in college" or sororities are just a collegiate thing. for me, phi mu is forever. being an alum affords me so many opportunites....including the lack of drama that collegiate life has...as well as many rewards. i have met some really great phi mu's from many different chapters and i am happy to call them friends. there are several of my friends that i would love to see initiated into phi mu!!! i think they would be great assets to the group.

so i guess, my question is this....if sorority/ fraternity membership is for a lifetime.....why does it matter if you were initiated as a collegiate or as an alum?