Ethical question
 

You are married for 5 years and your spouse gets into an accident that leaves them an invalid. Not only are they mostly unable to take care of themselves but they of course are not able to fulfill the physical side of the marriage.

After some time, an innocent flirtation outside becomes greater until you also love that person and desire a physical relationship.

Given the situation. What should/would you do?

Would you blame someone else if in the same situation they had an affair? Or Left the Spouse?

If you truely love your spouse you should stay true to them.

Um...better plead the 5th on this one. I don't want to sound horrible.

My answer is too mean to even say.

Did this make anyone else think of that Tom Green movie, "Freddy Got Fingered" where he hooks up with that parplegic girl? She turns out being real freaky and enjoys being caned on the shins.

This just made me think of that.

Ditto.

two words: silver bullet

I didn't say he was Rich gorgeous lol . . .

LMAO!!!!

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM!!! LOL!!!

Seriously, I would have to do what I gotta do. I would care for my spouse, make sure all of his needs were met...but I gotta get mine at some point, lol. If I could keep it relatively DL, I would do it.

Creativity, my dear. ;) :p :D

I have needs! That all I'm going to say.

bang her!!!!!

it's okay for Hans to steal bread.

5 years is not a long time. I would do my best to help him, yet get on with my life. I would imagine I would still want children too. That happened to my cousin. Well, not really, but her very new husband had health problems that left him unable to work. She decided she had to get a job to support them, and he opposed it because she was female, and he thought that she should stay home and take care of him. They were shortly seperated. Good thing, you don't need that at 25.
-M

I say CHEAT!!

...............as long as she doesn't find out.

Obviously she knows that you need to fullfiill your sexual urges, and that she cannot do that for you. I would say stay with her, but I don't think that you need to be entirely faithful.


was that bitchy?

If he can use his mouth, I'll be all good! :D

For real doe.

hypothetically
what if his tongue is severed in the accident???
or he's paralyzed from the mouth down???

Well, I'm pretty much screwed then, and I don't mean that literally! I guess I'd have to see how things go...It's such a gray area. But if he is paralyzed from his mouth down, or has no tongue, he can't talk. Well, then, I'm outta there. I need to at least be able to communicate with him....

there's always morse code with the eyelids

you know, i can't really say what i would personally do in this situation..but am i the only one who thinks that the spouse would almost encourage, or at least approve of some sort of "extracurricular" activities..they know they can't accomodate you anymore in that area, but they would still want you to be happy/satisified/fulfilled as well..seems like the least they could do/want for you should you stay with them and take care of them in their condition..

i know thats kind of rambling..but does that make sense?

I seriously think there is a study on this...i'm going to check into it....

Makes sense what you are saying though...

OMG that's hilarious....can you imagine if you guys were fighting?? LOL!! Ok sorry I'm really hyper right now....:rolleyes:

That's why they make battery operated devices. :eek:

If there's truly love and respect involved, the question wouldn't even be posed!

Well i am torn on this one!

I have to give props to Christopher Reeve's wife. She said it was hard at first, but they have a good sex life. He told her to go out and have sex with other men and she said no. She wanted only him. They still have a good sex life because he can still provide in the oral area and they have heavy foreplay(sorry to get graphic, lol). Now look how far he's come. He might be able to walk again one day.

On the other hand:

Isn't sex a big reason why people wait until marriage to do it? So if your loved one can't make love to you, then what do you do? I know many people say that it's based on more than that, but come on now sex if a part of that. I think I could be faithful for about 7 or 8 years to see if he gets better before I make my decision.

And another situation, what if your spouse went into a coma, and the doctors told you they would be like that forever? Would you divorce them or date but still be married even though your spouse is "gone"?


QTE

How do you know all this info about the Reeves?

I have a neighbor who is living with a debilitating illness M.S. When she was diagnosed, her husband told her point blank not to expect him to stick around for this. It wasn't what he signed on for, and he left her for another woman. She is still alive and has been using a wheelchair for about a decade. She raised their children essentially by herself. Her life changed so drastically with that diagnosis. She lost her health, her career, her marriage, and her mobility. As a teenager, I found his lack of loyalty and character to be disturbing. As an adult, I can understand a little better, but I still think that he is a jerk.

Hey James, are there kids in this scenario?
I think that would have an impact too.

I know it sounds selfish, but I don't know that I could stay in that kind of marriage. Not because of sex, but because you'd have to devote the majority of your time to assisting this person since they can't do things for himself/herself. This would be especially difficult if you're young and still have the majority of your life to live...if you were much older, at least you would have done many of the things you planned to do with your life before you had to handle this type of reponsibility.

WHOA!!! :eek: Isn't marriage supposed to be "for better or for worse, till death do us part" ????? Apparently this guy didn't know that when he said "that's not what I signed on for." What a great guy... :rolleyes: :mad:

I mean I don't honestly know what I'd do in that situation, but I hope I'd be a little nicer than that!

They've done a lot of interviews on it. First I saw them on Oprah talking about it. Then in a few mags. I can't think of all of them but I do know they talked about it in "O" magazine and Vogue off the top of my head.


QTE

Out of context, I know...And my mind is COMPLETELY in the gutter.. But did this strike anyone else as....I don't know...Along the lines of CT4's signature in Optimist Prime's thread? :D :p