Do I have a right to be pissed?
 

Ok so today is my 21st birthday.
The day has been great so far, a bunch of my friends have called, and given me cards and it's 75 here today. Fabulous.
Anyway, I just heard from my boyfriend of a year today. He called to say hi and ask what I wanted to do tonite. He did not say happy birthday to me. (He said it last nite a little after midnite, so I guess I can excuse it. But I digress.)
So we're talking and he's like, 'So what do you want for your birthday??"
Me- "I don't know.... I never ask for gifts, and there isn't anything in particular I want."
Him in a totally casual voice-"Well you haven't told anybody what you want, so I didn't get you anything....are you sure? I can run by the mall later." Then he goes, shit I gotta go to class, I'll call you later.
ARE YOU F'ING SERIOUS?????????
Ok I am not pissed because I'm not gettting a gift. I am not a gold digger and didn't expect anything big. BUT COME ON....at least a card!!!! Please????? We just went on vacation with my family in Cancun last week.... I would have loved anything from there. He could have asked my parents. He coudl have gotten me flowers. LIke I said I don't even want any of that, if he would have gotten me a card.
Its the thought behind it, not the actual physical gift. So I'm sitting here crying wondering WTF b/c he's usually a pretty romantic guy. And he knows birthdays are a big deal to me.

Do i have a right to be upset, or am I out of line??:(

the day's not over yet!!! don't panic until if after dinner or whatever you still don't have something from him!! afterall, your b-day IS april fool's day!!!

HAPPY 21ST, though!!!! it's a good 'un!

monica

Re: Do I have a right to be pissed?
 

I agree with AlphaGamDiva. Today is April Fool's Day so maybe he is just joking with you. :cool:

However, I would be PI$$ED if you do not receive anything by tomorrow. A boyfriend should KNOW better! :mad:

You READ my mind! Don't jump the gun. I'm sure he has something very nice in store for you.

Happy Birthday!

I totally agree!! The day isn't over yet!

Happy Happy 21st birthday!!!

Yes he should have known better. Some guys are stupid though so girls should never say something they don't really mean. If you wanted at least a card you should have said it. Some guys don't like games and test girls give guys. lol

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

You should be clear about what you want for your birthday. I know people who say that they don't want a fuss and then get mad when no one makes a fuss. Now if he surprises you, that's great. If he doesn't surprise you, tell him very specifically what you want. You'll get it. :)

Happy Birthday. He will probably get you really drunk or something.

I don't know . . . I tend to side with those who have said that if you want something, you have to say it. There are some people (boys in particular) who are just very . . . "challenged" when it comes to giving gifts. If you say "I don't really want anything special," they don't hear "Just get me a card," they hear, "Feel free to forget about my birthday entirely.

I also think that you should wait until the end of the day to worry though . . . you've still got almost half the day left for him to get you a present.

Oh honey, cheer up! I am sure he is just going to surprise you later on today or something. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you! It is also one of my sisters birthdays today as well!! I hope things work out, and be :D b/c it's beautiful here in Columbia today!!!!!

I think one thing that men get mad at us ladies about is the whole "mindreader" confusion that causes situations like this. We have to be clear with our guys about what we want and need. You've been going out for a year. You should be at a place where you can be honest with each other...

I agree with what everyone has said so far...Wait until the night is over. Also, are birthdays usually a big deal to him? If not, it's not personal. I know that birthdays were a HUGE deal in my family, so I make a HUGE deal out of everyone else's b-day and get a bit hurt when someone forgets mine...

The only reason I would get mad is if he dismisses your feelings or accuses you of making a big deal out of nothing, after you have CALMLY explained why you are upset about his nonchalant attidtude towards your special day ...THEN, I'd be mad b/c he is not hearing the words nor is he listening to you. If you come at him mad, he'll only hear and see the anger...

I speak from experience...

It's APRIL FOOLS!!! hahahaha

well, happy birthday anyway...

You have the right to be hurt, you may not have the right to be pissed at him per se . . . but you do have the right to leave lol.

What everyone else has said is pretty much true, especially, the communication part.

Does he know this stuff is important to you?

Yeah, he knows birthdays are important to me. We've talked about this several times, b/c he hates it when people make a fuss over him, but he makes fun of me because "I need that 8 AM phone call from my friends wishing me a happy birthday." So he knows. And we've talked about it b/c my point is, I do not want you to buy me things, I just want a phone call and a card. He knows this, he's had it spelled out for him b/c on valentine's day I didn't hear from him until like 7:30 that night.

I agree that communication is really important, but that bothers me even more because we HAVE talked about this so many times.

And i don't like making him sound like a bad BF, b/c he really is good to me. Great to me. But on special occasions (anniversaries, birtdhays, V-Day) he just refuses to do what people expect of him- he calls it being cheesy, i call it common courtesy.

Whatevs. I'm sad, not pissed. I'm having a totally great day otherwise so that's it.........and the day isn't over, right???
Thanks everyone for your kind words.

I think it was just the WAY he said it, like, "My ass is off the hook, since you didn't want anything, right???" LIke its no fucking big deal......then he calls me 20 mins later and asks if I want a party favor for this Air Force banquet he has, adding "It's like 8 or 10 bucks so you can just pay me tonight."
%*#*$@)( April Fool's........P.S. He's so not like that, so i'm pretty sure its not a joke

LOL You are SUCH an Aries. I am the same way. My bday is next week and is first mr amycat and I will spend together, and I think he's a bit blown away by how much I can talk about my birthday and what should we do and all that. ha ha ITS MY DAY DAMNIT! lol

Hang in there Jules, he may have something in store, may realize and get on the ball...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Hmmm come to think of it, my boyfriend at the time I turned 21 was a total shit who didn't even call me... GRRR. lol

happy 21st bday!!! My bday is tomorrow and i only wish it was my 21st. I would love for my boy to get me something but I really doubt it since we're not all that serious. It'd be nice though! Have a great day!!!!!!

i would be pissed. my guy not only didnt get me a christmas presents, but no valentine's either. he was like 'i didnt know what you wanted. i always get you roses, i thought you would be sick of it by now.':eek:
huh?! i am a girl, i will always accept roses!

Thankfully for most of us boys, girls don't have the highest requirements from us. Is that a maturity thing? As girls mature do they start expecting more attention etc?

girls just want some appreciation and to feel loved. we want to feel like ladies. of course you dont need gifts for that, but hey we girls love to have things.

So.....what happened? Hope everything turned out ok, AXJules! :)

Happy Birthday (a day late, I know..)!!!

So what happened????

Ok here we go................

Well I wound up having a great day. I decided not to dwell on it b/c too many other things were going good.
He called at 4 asking if I wanted to go eat, and I wsa like, "I'm going out w/my girls for dinner, so no I don't want to see you now."
He's like, okkkkk, and starts to drive home. Then I tell him i want him to come over and give me a hug.
So he comes over and tells me he thinks I underestimate him. Whatevs.

So went out w/my sisters, had a great time. He picked me up afterwards and we went to his house b/c we were supposed to go out for dessert. I walk in and he has me close my eyes, when I open them there were like 50 candles and a birthday cake he made for me. (I've been out of the country for the last 12 years on my birthday- I haven't had a birthday cake since I was like 5.) I started crying b/c it was my favorite kind (he probably asked my mom) and it meant a lot b/c once I mentioned that I don't even konw what a birthday cake looks like.

He gave me a few little presents which he said he bought yesterday after talking to me and feeling bad.

So basically, originally the cake was all he had planned (which would have been FINE) but then he got me a couple things yesterday.

It's lucky for him that I'm so sappy over stupid shit like a birthday cake. :rolleyes: lol actually it was a great day all around. Thanks to all of you guys, you were so nice and really cheered me up.

You see?!?! Everything turned out fine! :D

I'm glad you had a great birthday and I'm glad he came through! (Although if he were a little brighter he would have lied and said he had the presents all along, lol. Just kidding) ;)

I'm glad that everything worked out for you and your boy. I hope everything works out for me today too being my birthday...I think he's coming out with me and my sisters tonight but I'm not sure about anything more than that. Oh well! I'll just be happy to see him on my birthday! Thats the best present for me!

that is the sweetest thing i've heard in a long time. isn't it weird how guys can surprise us like that. he's a good one. hang on to him. ;)

shelley j
sigma k

Yay! I'm so glad you had a wonderful day!

super!!!!! that is the sweeeeeetest thing! way to go to the boyfriend for pullin through! glad you had such a happy day!

monica :D

I would take food including birthday cake over most gifts (well, the ones under 30$) anyday.

Added note- Happy Birthday Delta Zee----have an awesome night!!!

Thanx!!
 

Thanx so much! I'm definately looking forward to it!:D ;)

I MISSED WISHING YOU A HAPPY B-DAY!!! :(

I know presents are neat, but always try to remember it's NOT what's in the box, it's what is in the heart.

Is your guy a VIRGO??? The excuse-Can't find anything as perfect as you! HA! Still a good one!

Glad it all turned out good and again, sorry I am LATE!

i am glad that things turned out so well! the bday cake was a really sweet idea!

It sounds like you had a great birthday!:D