Dating Commandments
 

Today I was driving and was thinking of my Dating Commandments. . .

I. Thou shalt not wear a jheri curl, braids, or an unruly afro.

II. Thou shalt not have gold in thy mouth or excess of the "BLING" on thy hands or around thy neck.

III. Thou shalt not have more than one baby mama.

IV. Thou shalt not think books are boring. Thou shall not have more pornos than books.

V. Thou shall be gainfully employed.

VI. Thou shalt not be a former resident of the state penal system.

VII. Thou shalt not EVER lift thy hand to me unless it is to caress me or hug me.

VIII. Thou shall have a strong spiritual base and be lead by God to be the man of the house as God has decreed in the Bible.

IX. Thou shalt have goals and dreams that you are actively working to accomplish as well as respect my goals and dreams.

X. Thou shall be romantic and spontaneous, have a great sense of humor, and be adventurous,

Re: Dating Commandments
 

Thou shalt not have more than one (two, at the most) baby with aformentioned baby momma unless thou hast been wed. :o

XI. Thous shall not have hair that is longer than mine.

Commandment Clause
 

IIIb. Thou shall not have ANY kids out of wedlock at all if approaching me (CT4).

HOLLA! (like the woman at prayerfull's church says)
 

Thou Shalt not boss me around. I'm your girlfriend, not your daughter.

Thou Shalt not demean me. If you do so I'll make YOU cry.

Thou Shalt not eat up all of my food without asking me. If there's a last cupcake, chicken breast, cup of juice, etc. PUH-lease tell me ahead of time. Nothing pisses me off more than having my mouth water for something to find out someone ate it up! :mad:

Thou Shalt not hook up with my friends.

sorry to crash your thread but...
 

..I couldn't resist

Thou SHALL kiss me "first"
Thou shall make sure I am "finished" before you fall asleep!

Re: sorry to crash your thread but...
 

LOL!!!

Thou shalt not get my number if you preface your introduction with "Ay gurl, what yo name is?

Thou shall put in as much work as I do

Thou shalt not hog the remote

Thou shalt not try to talk to ME when the game is on!

Thou shall clean up the kitchen (or at least help) if I cook!

Thou shalt NOT leave your dirty clothes on the floor

Thou shalt NOT leave the toilet seat up

Thou shall cherish me at all times
Thou shall allow yourself to be cherished by me likewise! ;)

Thou shall not whine about me going with male friends to do things you don't like (shopping, theater, etc.) unless you are ready to back that up by taking me yourself.

Thou shall not think that make-up sex is a substitute for an actual apology.

Thou shall engage in morning nookie, if I so choose, on days that we don't have to get up.

Thou shall make me breakfast after aforementioned nookie, even if we are at my place.

Edited to add:
Does anyone know the difference between "shall" and "shalt," or in which context each is used?

I said DATING not SEX!! :mad:

Thou shall have an understanding of the Lifetime channel. You are not required to watch it with me, but please do not complain when I watch.

Thou shall also be quiet when the Lifetime Movie is on. :D

Oh...sorry to hijack your thread, but I haven't had quality time with the man in a few weeks, so I have one thing on the brain.:eek:

Thou shalt NEVER reach for my remote control without asking.

Thou shalt not talk during Trading Spaces.

Thou shalt not have braids, locks, an S-curl, a jheri curl, or an afro. (I need a man with a hair cut.)

Thou shalt not touch me with your feet.

Thou shalt never curse or use any obscenities towards me.

Unless you are a big fan of Trading Spaces like me.:p

Thou shall know how to properly conjugate a verb when speaking and writing.

Thou shall practice proper dental hygiene.

Thou shalt not use a plethora of obscenities when speaking to me.

Thou shalt not have a mouth full of gold teeth in the mouth.

Thou shall know how to dress properly for occassions.

Thou shalt not kiss and tell.

Thou shall display proper etiquette.

AMEN TO THAT, my fellow bone jiggling partna!!!!!!!!!

Thou shall not disrespecteth me in public nor in front of thy parents or other family members. If I sense any sign of disrespect, thou shall be prepared to either have their DAYUM BONES JIGGLED or be beaten by mine pimp stick!!! :p

Thou shalt not come to my house eat up all my food, and don't bring jack but when I come to your house your fridge is BARE!!!:mad:

To piggyback...

Thou shalt not expect a gourmet meal when it's my turn to cook, and when it's your turn, I get Ramen & Hot Sausage/Frozen Pizza & Chips/MCDONALD'S:mad:

Thou shall not have a GOLD TOOTH in thy mouth (fake or real)

Thou shall should not HOG UP THE BATHROOM when it times to get ready (for WORK, date, etc)

Thou shall not be a BUM (brother under management = no job)

Thou shall not ask to meet my daugther after the first date/encounter (it takes a LOOOOOOOONG time for that)

Thou shall not have the BLING BLING, THUG LIFE mentallity (meaning that your last goes to a 40 and a dime bag of weed, gold chain but not a dollar in your pocket to contribute to anything:mad: )

Thou shall have common sense

Thou shall be truthful and respectful (if your want to be friends just say so, don't have me to believe one thing and something comes up)

Thou shall not have finger waves, flip curl style (looking like a gay azz Snoop Dogg) talking about I got to get my hair done WTF

Thou shall take care of HIS OWN CHILD(REN) when dealing wiht me

Thou shall have respect for his mother (if he disrespects her, then he won't give two dead flies about me)

Thou shall have clean finger nails

Thou shall pay for dates/encouters sometime

Thou shall SMELL GOOD AT ALL TIMES (from daily showers and colonge, lotion, deoderant etc)

:D Sorry so long!!!

LaDeia
"...Black is beautiful and full of life..."
-Toni Morrison

Thou shall not have EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER been on Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, Montel, Sally or Maury.

This was a good one
 

THOU SHALL SAY THANK YOU!!!!

Re: This was a good one
 

SMH, because it's such a simple concept that most people don't grasp.

Thou shalt not pick fights with me for no reason.

Thou shall compliment me often.

Thou shall periodically call me sometime during the day for no reason at all but to say hello.

Thou shall not have ANY baby mammas

Thou shall not be divorced or married!

Thou shall not wait for me to ask you to attend church with me

Thou shall not tell me your mom's cooking is better

Thou shall not tell your momma our business

Thou shall always open doors

Thou shall not leave pubic hairs in the shower or on the toilet seat :eek:

or what "I said". :rolleyes:

Thou shalt be a standup guy and not whine about what "the man" does to you.
Thou shalt also have knowledge of a dentist and proper oral hygiene. :D :D
Thou shalt not use Deion Sanders as a fashion icon.:p
Thou shalt not be threatened by my sports knowledge.