Update!!!What would you do?
 

Hello Ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha

Get rid of the abusive manipulative bum.

Your virginity is gone, not your common sense.

BE HAPPY not miserable. And don't be afraid to tell your mom. I never told my mom who my first was, one day I will, but she will still love you.

Don't be stupid for a man. Someone better will come along.

Your campus (I think you are student) probably has a counseling center. Go see them IMMEDIATELY. Another good place to go is the campus police and let them know what that fool is up to.

I would then tell him that you have called campus police and that they know that he has been threatening you.

In the mean time, get some good friends of a rival fraternity to kick his tail!! J/k :p well... not really, but....

Regarding the "he was my first"...Chalk it up to an expensive lesson. You may not be able to image yourself with someone else, and on the real, you sould not BE with anyone else for a long while, but believe me someone who truly cares for you would not do the things that he has done. You have to say, that you are worth so much more than that! I know that is iwas probably important to you that your first time be special, with someone you love, loves you, y'all get married, have babies, etc. but that does not always happen. Again, take some time to see the warning signs you missed the first time and know that this is just preparation for something better.

Be careful.

She is so right. Be safe in ALL you do.

No it does not always happen. Do not take that whole STAND BY YOUR MAN to the extreme. VALUE YOU first and LEAVE the relationship.

Quoted because it bears repeating. Too many women have ended up dead because they stood by their (abusive, manipulative) men. Your health, sanity, and well-being is far more precious than this alleged 'relationship'.

***Cosigning this whole statement***

I was in a similar situation...All I can say is that IT WILL GET WORSE....

Please, please, please, value YOU more than that man....

"Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got"
-Janis Joplin

Before I forget:

"No man/woman is worth your tears because the only one who is will never make you cry."

Love yourself enough to know that YOU deserve better.

I hate to see people hurting unnecessarily.
:(

yet another co-sign
 

run, don't walk, away from this dude.

this is not a trap that you want to fall into. i know from experience.:(

Hey all, I know I have not been in this forum for a LOOOOONG time, but this post caught my eye. I agree with what everyone else is saying...get out now. It seems hard to leave, but it will be even harder if you stay.

I also think you know deep down what you should do. I wanted to bring your attention to your post's signature: The answer to your situation was right there.

Remember that quote: Just because this guy is with you does not mean he is right for you. His behavior is obviously hurting and even scaring you. No man is worth your safety and well being. Someone better will come along when the time is right.

Sincerely,

Symphony08 also known as MunChylde (in other forums)

I don't mean to come off as harsh or insensitive, but I am gonna have to put it out there. You know what to do. You said it yourself what this guy has done to you. Why would you even consider an alternative?

Ther comes a time when you just have to let go and realize that some things are learning experiences.

HELL-O
 

I just performed a search under your other name MunChylde . I did not get any results. As Symphony08 this is your first post. Can you include your information in the appropriate thread? Signature or summin'?

:D

I concur with every one of the sisterfriends who have posted before me.

This cat might have feelings for you, but don't you dare mistake them for love! Someone who loves you would not advertise your "services" to his brothers.

As for your folks ... they'll get over it. They won't stop loving you over one lapse in judgment. They might yell some, and say some things I think you already know. But when the smoke clears, they will still love you and be there for you.

From one sisterfriend to another, I am honestly telling you to leave this so-called man alone.

I have a cousin who was in a abusive relationship. In the 15 yrs they were married(he's passed on now), he did so many bad things to her. He bursted her ear drum. She can barely hear out of her left ear. He beat her up in front of their childern. I could go on for days talking about the things he did. It took her a while, but, she finally left him for good. Look what it cost her in the time she stayed with...her pride, dignity,and her hearing.

My other cousin was just murdered last weekend beacuse the man she was with said"If I can't have you, no one else will". She was stabbed 15 times and shot twice. I'm not telling you this to scare you but to hopefully help you and possibly save your life. Pray and be strong. If you want/need to talk, you can always e-mail me.

SELF always takes presidence over a man. Do what you know is right for SELF. Leave him alone. I hate the fact that you lost your virginity to this buster, but it's done. You have to move on from that and make sure you REALLY know who you're dating from now on. I wish you the best on this situation.

For your safety and sanity get away from him quickly. If it does get worse, then you will definitely need to contact campus police and or the "real" police dept of your area to get a restraining order against him (but that's going to the extreme). Only you know the severity of how things have been thus far; however, I will say this: don't take any unnecessary risks.

Praying God's protection and that His angels be encamped about you. No hurt, harm, or danger, or no weapon that is formed against you shall not prosper and every tongue that is risen up against shall be condemned NOW in the Name of Jesus.

You are precious & valuable in the eyesight of God, remember that.

I am sorry for your situation.......
 

Sisterfriend. I am sorry that you are dealing with this. We all wish that our first time is one that is special. As another sisterfriend stated, just chalk it up to experience. It is obvious that this BOY has problems that go beyond you. Don't continue to feed into it by associating with him further. He is harrassig you because misery loves company. If his harrassment continues, go to someone professional that can help you or perhaps seek your RA. She may be able to help you with this issue. Go to the police if neccesary. Remember you are a student first and you are there to learn. No one should undermine that. Go seek counseling. It is important that you speak to someone about your experience and deal with your feelings. In many instances situations like the one you are in can dictate how we think we are to be treated giving us a distorted view on what true intimacy is.

The fact that this BOY is in a fraternal organization I believe bears no consquence. He is a human being first. No matter what people say or think, conduct yourself as a lady at all times. Do things in decency and in order. Of course there will be talk but your actions fom this point will determine whether the 'campus conversations' are positive toward you or him.

Most importantly you must PRAY FOR GUIDANCE AND DIRECTION. I have given you a variety if suggestions but the one that is key is putting GOD first in this and in every situation. He can help to clear your mind and heart of all negativity and provide you with the solution best suited for you. Good luck my sister.

You're dealing with a boy, not a man. A real man NEVER disrespects women! You hur me?? Not to be harsh or anything, but as somone else stated earlier, don't ask questions you already know the answer to. You know what to do, so do it! Be safe in the process!

Hello everyone,
Thanks for all of the support. I have been handling this situation to the best of my ability. I told my parents and they were shocked this was going on. I have thus parted ways with this individual. I still see him on/around the yard...so it's kind of difficult. He doesn't speak to me anymore :( But I guess it's for the best. Thanks