moving & parents
 

Hopefully this makes sense as I've had a few beers while watching the game...

I've been thinking about moving for several months now, and it looks like my plan is going to involve moving to a pretty small town (population 10,000). I currently live in Chicago.

Have any of you ever moved from a large town to a small town? Was it hard to adjust? How did it go? Did you like the small town? Hate it? What made the move difficult? What was good about the move?

Also, my parents live here. I've never really been far away from them before (only as far as Iowa during college). How many of you live across the country from your parents? Was it hard to move far away from them? Were they angry at you for moving far away? Parents, how have you dealt with your children moving far away? I am anticipating that my parents will have a very hard time with me being far away, and would appreciate any words of wisdom to help me deal with this.

Thanks. :)

10,000 people? That is quite small.

I have lived in a big city (not as large as Chicago, but good-sized) and in a smaller town (not as small as 10,000 though). I would say the change is definitely noticeable. You probably know if you are a city mouse, or a country mouse, so to speak... so you are the one who knows best if you can adjust. Just be prepared for a HUGE change -- you will know everyone, everywhere... and they will probably know you, and your business!

I have always been within 100 miles of my parents, so I can't give much advice on that, except to just say that you should talk to them, and explain your motives. And keep in touch after you leave.

I want to move so BADLY right now, I'm jealous you get to (although I am a city girl, so I would be heading toward Chicago and the like)!

GOOD LUCK!

When I first brought up the move to Texas, my mom and my friend J were dead set against it. My friend J wanted me to move where he was(he was in Georgia at the time) in hopes that we renew our on again off again relationship that's been going on for 10+ years. As tempting as that sounded, I knew I had to be on my own for a little while. My mom was dead set against me moving to Texas cause I was having issues with my car at the time. She wanted me to move back home to New Orleans(I was in Baton Rouge at the time) till my car got fixed. As tempting as that sounded, I knew I'd die if I went back to New Orleans. I stood my ground though. I told both my mom and my friend that I needed to be on my own for awhile. I told them to give me a year in Dallas and if it didn't work out, then we could talk. It will be 2 years in June:D Both my mom and my friend were really mad at me for a bit, but once they saw how happy I am in Dallas, they agree that this was the best move for me

Okay, over the past two years since I've graduated from HS I've lived in three different places.

The first was a major city (Kansas City Metro area), with a population of 1.7 million all told.

Second is Lincoln where I currently go to school - with students it is about 225,000.

The last one was Hutchinson KS: Population of 40,000.

For me I'm a total city kid, and being from a big place I can definately notice differences even in Lincoln, and huge differences in comparison to Hutch.

First thing you'll notice in the smaller town is the lack of diversity in common stuff, like resteraunts. Hutch had a major issue with a lack of really, really High end food and then normal casual dining (like chili's or applebee's). Hutch had one applebee's and one carlos o'kelly's in terms of national chains in that price range and only a handful of other resteraunts that also fit that category. Everything was either fast food or fairly nice, more up-scale places. Can't say this is typical but I wouldn't doubt that you will notice a difference...

Other things that I notice about the move from big major city to smaller, but still fairly good size city is the lack of diversity in more specialty type places...case in point for me is sporting goods stores. There is only one major general sporting goods store, everything else is more specialized. In KC I could go to either Dick's or Galyans and know that I would be able find practically anything I needed that wasn't super specific. In Lincoln, I wanted a pair of gloves and the one store didn't have the right size adn there was no other place to go unless I wanted to spend a lot more money on a nicer pair of gloves...

Other things you will definately notice is that the sidewalks will roll up at 830, maybe 9 on a weekend, and nothing will be open on sunday. That takes a lot to get used to.

Once you get around those inconveiniences(sp?) I'm sure you'll be fine, as long as your motives for moving to such a small place are going to make you happy.

Well I came from a large city (Atlanta) to a small, college town for school. I ended up moving here before college so I had a little bit of extra insight. I didn't like it at all. I am a big city girl, and I just don't take well to the ways of small towns.

As far as the parents thing, it depends on your level of independence, I think. For me, the farther the better cause that's just how I am. Not that I don't love my mommy, but I am just way independent.

Valkyrie, going from the Chi to 10,000? It's gonna be a culture shock, for sure. Sororitygirl2 must live in a small town or something, lol, she hit the nail on the head with the description.

Librasoul... my "small" town was actually over 100,000... maybe it just felt smaller since it was a college town. I'm back in the big, bad city now, and very happy about that -- I just want to be in an even bigger city! :)

Yeah, my small town is the same size...college town also. However, I have visited REALLY small towns for extended periods of time, and I don't like how the locals look at you. Like they know you are new and they are wary or something. I don't know, maybe I was just being paranoid.

But I agree with you, it is all about the big city!

I know that you've posted that you're really into house/hip hop music. And you're probably not going to find too much of that in a small town.

Be prepared for most small towns to be Noah's Ark - Two by two. I live in a small-ish suburb and its not much fun to be young here. There are only a few bars here, and they aren't fun young people bars. They're sad, old drunk people bars. Everyone where I live has pretty much settled down and so there aren't any places to just go out.

Thank goodness I live less than an hour away from New Orleans - I'd lose my mind otherwise! :)

Good luck!

Three words
 

Don't do it!!!

I moved from Boston to central Connecticut a few years ago... hello culture shock!! My new town had "both" types of restaurants: pizza and Chinese. :( (I've since moved to a different part of CT.)

I am a city girl. I loved having the cultural opportunities available in a big city. I liked not needing a car (or having to pick a designated driver ;) ). I liked having a commute of under 20 minutes on the subway, as opposed to over an hour by car with psycho Connecticut drivers for company.

On the other hand, I like having a beautiful house with a backyard with (gasp!) *trees*, and I like the peace and quiet.

As with anything... it's a trade-off.

Oh my, this is so funny, but true. Valkyrie, I know very little about you, and I've never even talked to you, but something about you (lol or the way you post, I guess) makes me think that you're a city girl. But who knows? While all of the negatives everyone else has mentioned are too true, there are benefits to living in a small town. People wave when you drive past them on the street, even if you don't know them. You're sure to find someone you know in almost any situation. You can see the stars at night because there aren't too many street lights :D

I'm with you Corbin. 10,000 people is a lot for me. I come from a town that doesn't even have city limit signs! All we have is a gas station, a liqour store and a Baptist Church. The town I went to high school in has a pop of 1500.

I was thinking the same thing :) My home town had a whopping population of 400... when I moved to my college town of 10,000 it was a major culture shock... and then when I moved to Milwaukee, which I don't even know the population... well, let's just say I'm STILL overwhelmed, over a year later!

Valkyrie-
On the parents issue--

I moved away 15 years ago to go to college and never went back. My mom has never given up trying to cajole me into returning. I never will, I hate it there and much as I love my family--I love them more from a distance, up close they drive me nuts.

If your parents don't want to see you go, you should probably be prepared to endure the hard sell for moving back. I cannot talk to my mom when I am bummed out about life in L.A. or sick of the traffic, etc--or she'll launch into the 1001 reasons I should move back home.

Like I said, I never intend to--I hate the place, always did, hightailed it out of there at first opportunity.


:)Amy

I'm thinking of moving out of the country, across the big pond, but I don't want to leave my family! It's so sad...I only go to college an hour away and I still go home almost every weekend, so how will I be able to survive being a thousand miles away from my mommy? :(

:eek: YIKES! I have to go along with the "culture shock" theory.
I moved from Houston to a smallish community right after I married. (NOW, I'm in a larger town 3 miles out). My sister moved here from Dallas after her divorce. (In all those years, she JUST found someone to share the rest of her life with...slim pickins) I had to join a crappy all girls baseball team because THAT'S what the ladies DID.

A small town is a great place to raise a family, but it kind of stinks if you're young and single and lets face it...can I say I think you have a wild streak? Oh honey, no way was I anywhere as free spirited as you, but by THESE peoples' definition I just might have been! There are so many aspect of this smaller community that really grate on my nerves. Almost everyone who moves here through the plants hate it becuse it's like living in a fishbowl! Plus, if you are a fish from another pond, it can be hard to crack the establishment.

Now, let me WHINE for your parents. PLEASE DON'T MOVE THAT FAR! Take a look at the map and figure about a 3-4 (OK...6 if you MUST) hour drive.
If there is ever a need, on EITHER side-illness, babies,weddings, LONELY, "SOL", a doable distance for a one day drive is reassuring for both parent and child.
As a side note-my daughter talks like she will move very far away
when the time comes. She soooooo wants to live up North because she likes the climate, the pace and the numerous people she has met. It WILL break my heart, but I won't try to hold her.

I'll be your surrogate Louisiana daughter - I have no plans of leaving :) I love it down here! New Orleans is in my blood and I don't think I'll ever be able to shake it. Plus, I'm too cold all the time to go anywhere to far north!

juniorgrrl-I'll be your surrogate Louisiana daughter - I have no plans of leaving I love it down here! New Orleans is in my blood and I don't think I'll ever be able to shake it. Plus, I'm too cold all the time to go anywhere to far north!

OH HOORAY!!! Now,I've got a MILLION ideas for your wedding!;)

After I signed off, I thought of something. valkyrie, what is your field? It could work out better than one would suggest. As a really extreme example, if you are a doctor or a vet and move into a community where there is a universal need, you would be like a saint and wrapped in love and respect. The slower pace and the ability to really be apart of a community is a great way of life. Or maybe you just want to give it a try! Though I and some others may not feel it is right for us, maybe there's a part of you that would just blossom! Somehow, I think you will make the right decision and if not..there's always U-HAUL!:D

[QUOTE]Originally posted by justamom
[B] juniorgrrl-I'll be your surrogate Louisiana daughter - I have no plans of leaving I love it down here! New Orleans is in my blood and I don't think I'll ever be able to shake it. Plus, I'm too cold all the time to go anywhere to far north!


If you another daughter, here I am! I can't stand the Northern weather lately and need to move down South. It got to -6 this morning. :eek:

Thank you everyone for the comments. They're very helpful. Even considering the limitations of a smaller town (especially food, music and racial diversity) the idea is still somewhat appealing to me. I'm getting tired of the big city for many reasons, and think it might be fun to "Thoreau" (you know, how he went into the woods to live "deliberately" for a while) in a smaller town. I figure if I hate it, I can move back and will have a new appreciation for everything that annoys me now.

Justamom, in theory, I love the idea of moving within driving range of Chicago. However, the problem is that I want to GET OUT of the midwest. I want to live somewhere with a different climate and scenery -- probably a town along the Oregon coast (and near a cool city like Portland for weekends when I need some city fun). It's too cold and hot for me here, and every winter and every summer I am miserable. Also, I'm not very attracted to the idea of living in a smallish town in the midwest -- I don't think that would suit me and I'd be better off somewhere "west coast."

Also, justamom, I wish I were a vet!!! I'm an attorney, but if I move I won't practice law, first of all because I'm not licensed in any other state. This is good with me, because I don't want to practice law any more!!!

I'm wondering -- when smallish towns are discussed, they're usually described as conservative, everyone knows everything about you, etc. Is this the same if the town is more like a tourist destination? The communities I've been considering are pretty touristy, and I'm attracted to the whole transient atmosphere and the idea of having new people around all the time. I wonder if smaller towns that attract a lot of tourism have a different vibe than smaller towns that don't. Is this true?

Also, my boyfriend would be coming with me, so I wouldn't be alone. :)

valkyrie-You may be on the right track with a "tourist" type setting.
I remember when we visited this little hole in the wall-Green Mountain Falls, Co.-Hubby and I felt we could have moved there in a heart beat. It was right outside MANITOU which is kind of a psychic mecca, artsy and full of tourists. LOVED IT! This area definitely had "seasons" and by the time we visited, some of the more remote attractions were hampering down for the winter as the visitors became fewer and fewer. All the reasons you gave for wanting to leave would make me want to leave TOO! LOL! Portland proximity sounds pretty neat. Heck, pull out a map and choose! You might just get the best of both worlds!
But promise to call your mother! ;)
I feel so STUPID...I KNEW you were in law! Brain wiring askew...

Eaglechick!If you like mosquito repellent instead of perfume
c'mon down!:D