Dating slump?
 

Hi

I'm currently in a dating slump. I feel like all the guys here at my school are a bunch of players and are just out to get some. Especially the frat boys. Maybe I'll just take some time out and just relax and save myself some time and just not date any losers this school year.

Last semester I met 3 losers. To make it even worse my school has a small greek system so I will see them again this semester.

But is anyone else having a dating slump? If so, how are you dealing?

annice22

Phi Sigma Sigma

hi, you just described 96% of the male population.

That sounds more like 99% of the male population....especially here! Along with every guy I've met. And it never fails that I see ALLLL of them at one place, one time..it's like revenge of the ex's!:eek:

Course, when you DO meet that 1%, you just wanna be their friends, right?

Maybe it's best that you NOT LOOK for a guy and he will eventually find you ;) I always go for that saying because if I'm looking then I'm trying too hard to find Mr. Right and always come up with Mr. Wrong! So just relax and enjoy some time to yourself. Have some fun going out with your friends and/or sisters. Men can always wait!

Nah, when most women meet the 1%, they end up fucking the relationship up then go cry about how all men are assholes.

Uh, there is a very little excuse for an objectively attractive girl to be ina dating slump.

No only do guys in general pay more attention to you, but if you are a little bit agressive you should be able to pick a lot of guys up.

If you aren't the kind of girl that will be the agressor then you are forced to be at the mercy of whichever guy tries to pick you up. Not a situation indicative of a lot of choice lol.

Here are some mental tricks I use while dating.

Stop looking for Mr. Right. Look for Mr. Right now and allow him to become Mr. Right, if he really is.

That reduces some of the pressure because you stop forcing the other person into a mold.

Think in terms of auditioning. Dating and even being serious is a way of auditionining, or letting someone try out for your team. As you get to know them better you see if they play well enough to keep them.

And you know there are always other people that want the part. So why keep someone that isn't as good as someone else?

Oh and get over your fear of being hurt. You will always get hurt, and you will always recover from it lo. After all, you haven't died yet :).

Sign me into the dating slump club

My last two bf's haven't been students at MSU, so I never really see them. It has been over a year since I broke up with the last ex, and I haven't been on a single date since then I personally don't count taking my gay friend to formal as a date *lol*

Anywho, I know who I am and that I will in time meet a guy that has the same values, goals, and interests that I do. Patience is the key :)

As usual, I agree with James. ;)

A lot of times, if you are an attractive woman, guys won't always approach you, or if they do, they're the obnoxious, player guys. Why? Because if you're attractive, the nicer, cooler guys may be a little intimidated, or they may assume that you're already with someone else. That's why making the first move can be a great thing -- because then YOU are taking control of who you meet. If you wait for guys to talk to you, you are taking the risk that you are going to meet aggressive, but not quality, guys.

So I would say that to get out of your slump, you might want to consider getting out there and talking to the people you see out that YOU would like to meet. Also, if you're not all about the fraternity guys at your school, get out to bars or other places where you can meet some non greek men and see how that works.

Good luck, and keep us posted! :D

Dude, we have our whole lives to find that "special" person and marry them and spend our entire life with 'em. BE HAPPY that you have freedom now, people do it the wrong way. They want these huge meaningful relationships right now at our age and then when the time comes when they SHOULD be having these serious relationships, they're bored and they start having affairs. Blah. Personally, I'm just fine on my own. And I agree with Hootie, the more you look for guys, the less you're gonna find. Just relax, and don't worry about it. Guys don't it doesn't seem like, why should we?

I hear ya! I'm in my 2nd yr of college now, and I haven't had a serious boyfriend since my Senior yr of high school. Even since I've been in college, I have met tons of guys and even kissed a lot of guys, but I've only had "dating status" with one- a Kappa Sig here, and that was back in September. I was introduced to him by one of my sisters at Greek Fest & he later told her he thought I was cute & so on. Anyhow, when I had to leave mid-semester b/c I didn't have my loan to pay tuition, we kinda just stopped talking, & now he apparently has a serious girlfriend.

It seems that 90% of the time when a guy likes me I KNOW it b4 I'm even told or anything, but I'm usually only aware of it if it's a guy I'm totally NOT attracted to, b/c really nerdy guys just seem overly desperate & obvious I suppose. I am certainly not feeling desperate right now, b/c I think once the semester really gets rolling again I'll meet a lot more guys, but I am kinda missing just having cute guys like me even if we're not dating, ya know?

I do understand what people are saying about being tied down though, cuz I know when I've been hanging out with a particular guy almost 24/7 for even a few days I get really sick of him & I'm just like "ugh...". I guess that explains why my shortest relationship was 3 & 1/2 months LOL. Maybe from now on I should try taking it more slowly & not seeing a guy more than twice a week.

Why be worried about a slump? Being single is some of the most fun you can have. You can go out with your friends whenever you want and don't have to check to see if the bf/gf wants to come along or has plans. You can flirt and make out or hook up and don't have to worry about pissing someone off. And you can just be yourself and not always be part of a couple. I took myself out of the game about a year ago after a particuarly bad breakup and I've been living it up since, and sure enough, when you're not looking, someone comes along. Don't try too hard. Have fun.

I'm just going to have fun
 

The bar is were all the fraternity guys are at my school. But I agree with a lot of people in this post that I should just enjoy being single and have fun. I plan on it! This semester I will try not to meet too many players. And I'm sure with time that I'll get over this slump.

FSS

Re: I'm just going to have fun
 

Uh, being single and "having fun" is often predicated on how much you hook-up lol. so just hook-up with tons of men:)

Hooking up only causes more problems
 

No, oh no hooking up only means more problems then you have to worry about all the other emotions, gossip (I'm at a small university and a small greek system) word get around about who's been with whom on this campus.

So, I'm just going to have fun with out hooking up with some random dudes.

:)

Ok, well do you guys ever get really nervous when you go out with someone new the first time? I still feel like I'm in seventh grade sometimes...and I get so worried about things that I end up not even wanting to go out with the guy...but I force myself to and it ends up being a blast! This always happens to me with new guys...are any of you the same way?


By the way...those of you in a slump...live up being single! Most of the best memories I have are from when I was single and having a girl's night out...it makes for some crazy, unforgettable times!

like I had a girl I had been going out with for a while right when I got to school, And I realized I was putting alot of effort into a relationship I could tell was not gonna go anywhere. Thats why I like being single at school now, I can go out have a good time and jsut be uncontrollably wild. Its exilerating, and I have the most memorable things happen :) I love being single and I definately have more fun then when I was dating. This is not to say that I wouldn't want to date someone, I am just backing off of it and letting someone right for me turn up before I start dumping alot of effort into nothing.

Geo's tip for breaking the slump...

This works for either sex (I've seen it) and while some what horrible and disrespectful both to the other person and yourself, it's worked for friends of mine.

What you need to do is go find the ugliest/nerdiest/least desirable member of the opposite sex (the bigger the dud the better) and hook up with them...go as far as you would normally go with someone you were really into OR until you lose all respect for yourself - whichever comes first. For the guys this means that you sleep with your slumpbuster...girls, I have no idea how far they'll go, but my friend went all the way.

Do this once (I can't stress this enough) and within two weekends you'll be out of your slump. Probably has something to do with lowering of standards, or confidence or something on why it works. Why it works for guys also plays of the fact that as soon as a guy has hooked up with someone he immediatly gets more attention from other girls. It's like he sends off signals that yes, some girl has approved him and he's safe for all of them...

Anyway try it...it couldn't hurt :D

Don't get me wrong...while I may be in a slump, I must say I LOOOOVE single life....most of the time. When I see all my sisters upset over boyfriends, especially..then there's days when no one is around because they are all out with their men that I hate it. But after being in a relationship for almost 3 years, you gotta live it up while you can!:D I wouldn't trade the crazy nights with my girls for anything....yet!

Damn right!

No, when you meet that 1%, they're in the military and they leave. :(

But seriously, I've been in a slump for a long time. However, a large part of it is that I am very busy and don't go out to places where I might potenially meet someone.

Amen! I am the same way! If I'm not at work I'm in class, then back to work, then home for dinner and homework. Some place in there I fit chapter meetings, time with the girls, and running errands. I told my friends that dating someone is just inconvienent for me right now with my schedule.

I also LOVE being single. If I go out there's nothing to worry about. I have friends who lives revolve around their bf's, Ugh it makes me so mad that that can't be independent. And that their one goal is to keep there boy happy.

On a side note my friend just broke up with her bf of over 3 years. She said she was lonely, so I took her pet shopping. She got a hampster to replace her bf, and I will say that the hampster is more friendly and a whole lot cuter.

I'd like to direct you to an article about the opportunities awaiting your Single Self:

http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/arti...th/single.html

I know that this period of not dating someone has been the best time of my life.

It's true. As much as I hate to admit it, it works, although from my experience, you don't have to hook up. For New Year's, I went out, had a few confidence-boosting drinks, dressed to the nines (but before I had the drinks, of course...:p ) and chatted up every guy in the place without paying attention to looks, age, etc. I wasn't looking for anything more than conversation- and Mardi Gras beads - and I ended up talking to/making out with/going out with some really cool guys. That one night gave me enough confidence in myself to start talking to guys that I find cute, funny, cool, etc.

I'd like to add a clause to the slumpbuster hooking up rule...don't do it with an ex. My friend was annoyed with her slump and ended up hooking up with her ex - and doing more than they had done when they were together - because she wanted ass and he was handing it out. After she got over the initial, "I got some," euphoria, she ended up feeling, well, desperate, which isn't exactly a confidence booster. While it ended up forcing her to realize that what she wanted was a relationship AND she has to go out and put forth effort to find a guy she would want to have a relationship with, I seriously doubt the hooking up was worth the disappointment it caused. But that's also tied into the original, "Only go as far as you would normally go," concept, as was stated in the tip. Had she found someone new, she wouldn't have gone as far AND probably would've come to the same conclusion about what she wants AND would've had more confidence and zero bad feelings.

I TOTALLY feel your pain! I had been with my boyfriend for almost a year when he got in to the school he's always wanted to go to, so being the good girlfriend I was (notice past tense) I dropped everything INCLUDING a full ride to St. Mary's in San Antonio to move up to Austin to stay together. Everything was wonderful until he started pledgeship and I decided to break up with him, during the 2 month duration. We were gonna get back together, but I kinda went a little umm...crazy when I found out he was seeing this other girl so needless to say...things didn't work out. But I've gone on dates with other guys and things just arn't the same. So I've decided to just be a single girl and have fun and not worry about the dating scene. I figure if the "right" guy comes along, he'll show up without me having to look for him.:D

I'm going to go out this Thursday with some of friends and hopefully not run into any of the guys but that really impossible be Thursday night is party night here. I'm going to wear some of cute little clothes and have fun with my girls and have a blast and have fun all night and then go home and get ready for class the next day.

Hopefully I'll feel a little better

I beg to differ! I've wanted to get with a guy who I'm "just friends" with for years, but I'm afraid to do anything because I don't know if he feels the same way!

Any suggestions?

Seduce him?

-James
--oh shit this isn't the alter-egos thread . . .

After 'dating' a friend of mine, we finally decided to call it quits. basically, i was his girl but he had an attitude about him that made me want to hurl. . .and it was worse that we were 'kicking it' before we dated.
I love being single. I love going out by myself and meeting my friends at a bar. . .and flirting to see who can get the most numbers. I love to dress up so now, I shop for outing clothes. Dating is nothing but a crutch for people who can't deal with reality by themselves. Some people HAVE to have someone or they might kill themselves.

And then, there are the few who could give a holy nacho cheese dip if they have someone because they are too concerned with more important things in life . . .like what color do I want to get my toes painted next when I go to the spa or if I should have a mocha chiller before or after my spa appointment.

decisions. . .decisions. . .

You're only young once. . .

I like being single, but at the same time, I've been single for pretty much my entire life and am getting to the point where I'd really like to be dating someone. I'm hesitant to use the word "boyfriend," since I don't want to be in one of those couples where you're glued at the hip, but I would like to have a guy in my life that I care about in a romantic way. I know a lot of girls who want a boyfriend so they can get engaged and married in the near future, but I know I'm way too young for that. I want to spend quality time going out with my friends AND have a boy to date regularly at the same time. I want to have the best parts of being single and the best parts of being in a relationship. It'd limit the number of guys I could pick up and all, but I don't do that all that much anyway. :p I just hope I'll eventually find a guy that I genuinely like and care about as much as I like my friends, since until that happens, I don't want to sacrifice any of the fun times I have with them.