A question for the guys....
 

Okay fellas...I have always wanted to know the answer to this question...it's just taken me a while to figure out how to word it! If this offends anyone, I'm sorry....It certainly wasn't meant to.

When your fraternity holds a party, does it piss you off when members of another fraternity show up? I mean, let's say that you are a member of XYZ and a few guys from ABC show up in letter shirts. Does this anger you? Or are you happy to show them some love and let them join in your fun?

This is the reason I ask...several times I have been at a fraternity party and met a nice young man. I ask him "How long have you been a Kappa Lambda Nu?" (note...fictional fraternity). Then he replies "Oh I a Mu Tau Pi, not a Kappa Lambda Nu." Then I ask "Why are you here?" Then I get the response "I dunno". It just seems, well, weird to me. Why would you want to attend another party thrown by another fraternity? Now I'm not saying that this isn't a good thing...it's nice to see guys get along. What I'm saying is that I feel like parties are kinda a way to bond with your brothers. Plus, one time, very long ago, I was attending a fraternity party and I was forced into a room by a young man. Fortunatly, I was sober and I got away without any problems. However, when I reported it to security, the brothers of this particular fraternity didn't know who I was talking about. The guy I identified was not a member of the XYZ fraternity....

Anyways, sorry this is so long, I was just curious!
Blaire

Despite my gender, I can answer this...
 

I am a female, so I can't give the guys perspective, but when we have a party, we welcome anyone. The point of having an all campus party is to give everyone something to do. We welcome girls of any sorority to attend our parties. There are instances that we only want our girls there, but those are usually private things within the house. It is nice for everyone to forget their affiliation for a little bit and just hang out together.

Also from a girl's POV, but totally different from Mandy's thoughts on the issue. At USC guys from other frats are pretty much strictly forbidden from another frats parties. There are a few exceptions, but not many!

At USC, most frat parties go something like this: The frat having the party puts up a gate or something around their lawn and have a single entrance which usually has outside security (but occasionally just some bros) acting as bouncers. Every bro (and pledge) gets a wristband or something to indicate to the security that they are allowed in. Then for all other guys (Greek or not) wanting to attend the party they have to be on a list that the frat compiles at chapter of their close friends that they know want to come. This list usually also includes all the stars of the sports teams too, just because if they are there, it makes the frat look cool. If a guy wants to go to the party, and he is not a bro, a sports star, or on the list, then he must have at least three girls wiht him that will tell the bouncer they arent coming in unless he can come too.

If a guy manages to get in and a bro doesn't approve or if a girl complains about a non-bro, he is thrown out immediately. Also, some frats also have a strict non-entry list where certain names are definately not allowed in. These usually include the new boyfriends of bro's ex's, guys that depledged, and other stuff like that.

If they're there to party and have a good time and not to start shit, then f*ck yeah they're welcome.

I would say it depends on the climate of rush at the school, and the relationship with the other fraternity.

At my school fall formal rush is cutthroat, and unless a guy was on IFC exec we would question his motives for being there. I could see where the guy from XYZ may be asked to leave our rush party, but in a way that would not make us look un-gentlemenly.
This year we had guys from other fraternities show up to our Bid Day party, and showed love. We thought it was a compliment that the biggest night with all the fraternities, and they came over to our party. But not DURING rush, things are just too competitive

I'm not a guy so I guess I should just stay out of this one and let the men answer, but this is a sore subject with me. Once I took my boyfriend to a party that my sorority was having with a fraternity, but it wasn't an official date party function or anything...just a regular party, so I thought it would be all right. Well, as soon as we walked in, several guys in the fraternity pounced on my boyfriend and were yelling at him, asking him why he was there. They hauled him off to the kitchen to talk to him "in private," and he had to put up with the third degree about who he was, etc. The guys made fun of his accent, and spoke to him as though he couldn't understand English (which is his native language). And on top of all that, they demanded that he PAY them for the privilege of staying at "their" party! My boyfriend paid them, of course, even though I think he should have told those guys to kiss off. Just what were they trying to accomplish? I was thorougly angry, and to this day I try and avoid going to functions with that fraternity because of the way they behaved.

Oops! I guess I hit the button twice. Sorry. :o

your question
 

I would have no problem with a member of a different Fraternity coming into my house. I think it shows unity among a campus' Greek community.

depends on the party.
if its just a shit night, then we dont really care.
if its a big party, then there is a guest list. if you are in another fraternity and we know some of the guys you are with we will usually let you in too so we can have good relations. it goes both ways. i always get into the other fraternity parties.

I don't know how it is at bigger schools, but at Montana State, we don't mind if other fraternities come to each other's parties, as long as they are on the guest list. For our larger parties, we generally send a list to each of the other fraternities and invite 10 members from each chapter, and the other houses will do the same for us.

They cracked down on the parties last year, so it's pretty rare when anyone does have an advertised party. But my freshman year, all guys were welcome at all parties... however one fraternity really wasn't as welcome, because they have an attitude problem. Their pledges, however, were still welcome (I think they they were hoping their pledges would drop the fraternity they were pledging and join theirs). Guys from other fraternities didn't really show up to their parties unless it was their biggest one of the year.

My boyfriend is a TKE and stopped by the Pike house with me last year during Rush. One of the rushees there asked my boyfriend if he was a brother and he nervously muttered something about being in another fraternity, because he didn't want them to think he came to their house to steal rushees. The guy wouldn't drop it and asked him what fraternity he was in and my boyfriend had to repeat himself 3 times because he was muttering.

The Pikes just laughed about it though, because he lived on a floor with a bunch of them freshman year. They came up to him and said, "Come on Brad, we're not gonna kill ya!" It was kinda funny but he wanted to get out of there.

I think i'm going to go the opposite way of most of the guys on here, but i think this just stems from having been risk reduction chair for a year.

The only guys i want to have at our parties are my brothers, close personal friends of theirs, or brothers from other schools. To me this is just from a liability standpoint. The last thing i want is for some random guy that none of us know to do something that we can get blamed for. When we have our big official parties we always have guest lists, and if a guy isn't on the guest list he doesn't get in.

That being said, if a member of another fraternity is well known by one of my bros, he's more than welcome. But, too often we've had just random parties and seen other Greeks there and soon thereafter get notices of investigations by IFC for party violations. The only time i'd feel comfortable partying with other guys like that is if our fraternities are jointly throwing a party, an event that i'm all for.

Kitso
KS 361 random guys we've had to throw out of parties at the Ponderosa

AggieSigmaNu361- That being said, if a member of another fraternity is well known by one of my bros, he's more than welcome.

The PIKES and Sigma Chis always ended up together unless it was a specal party like a toga, formal, Derby Days... It made for GREAT parties because they were undoubtable the strongest two fraternities on campus. Every now and then the Delta Sigs would be a part of the mix as well. This was a commuter campus where Greek life was small however and the more guys, the more girls that would show. Kind of a "win, win" situation.

My daughter told me it happens from time to time at LSU, but they don't look to kindly on it.

Purdue
 

At Purdue they also have a list, each brother and pledge lists thier guests under thier name. Each sorority and fraternity involved is on the list with thier guests below. Recently at my boyfriend's house they were angry bc there were tons of random guys there that the pldges invited bc it was thier first party to put names on the list and they invited alot of thier guy friends. so now there is a rule that you have to have 3 girls to one guy on your guest list, to prevent your party being taken over by random guys drinking your beer the fraternity pays for. so no, other than the the houses that are having the party/ paying for the alcohol with your house, other fraternities are not really welcome.

Did I mention girls are kind of in short supply at an engineering school like Purdue?

At my school parties are looked at a time for us and guests to get together and have a lot of fun so we dont allow other fraternities and all the fraternites agree to this. The only time this rule is waved is during rush when we have open parties but the other fraternites respect us enough to not come.

at miami they are so strict when it comes to greek socials anyways that lists and wristbands are at every party around. it's becoming more rare for a frat to have an open house party b/c of the ifc rules and regulations concerning socials.
during the registered party time, every person present has to be affiliated with the fraternity or sorority involved. sometimes gf's are brought in the back door and just kept on the dl. either way, there is an over list that is strict. ifc and panhel love to break up parties here. after the registered time then it's a free for all usually.
as for sororities, there's no question of who's allowed. only sisters, pledges, and their dates.

shelley j
sigma k

i can see where everyone is coming from..thank you for all the responses!

Blaire

Parties
 

Most of the time we have open parties when they are more chill. We don't mind when other frats come and party with us, as long as they show us respect. When we are throwing rush events, or blowouts, we usually have a guest list and I have a lot of friends in other frats, so they usually end up on the list.

Hello, open parties!! Da!! Risk Management!

We have no parties that anyone but members, dates and guests are invited to by Brothers!

Almost got our Charter Yanked for one we did 4 years ago! It aint worth it!

Uninvited caqn cause problems and guess whose name is on
it? Who gets the blame!?????

You can answer that question!:rolleyes: Or can you!?:confused:

Wow, my point actually makes more sense when Tom types it.

How scary is that?

Just kiddin bud :D That's exactly what i'm talking about though. As a risk reduction officer, i'm liable and can be sued for things that occur at our parties. Another reason i'm not too keen on randoms i don't know walking around our parties.

Kitso
KS 361 minutes until i get off of work

At Iowa State
 

First of all, at Iowa State. nobody will show up at a party with any letters on .. that's a big NO NO for us (you know, if it is a wet function, then hide your letters).

We are really strict with party regulation, ie wristband, no hard liquor at dance party, invites, beer ticket, etc, so as long as they have invites, they are ok to join us (most likely invites from one of brothers). So, the answer is YES, we allow people from another fraternity to come to our fraternity.
We had one incident, however, back in 1999 .. when a group of XY fraternity got pissed off because we won overall Homecoming, and when we had big party the night after Homecoming, they came without invites, and started a fight. Since then, we have bad relationship with them. Oh well ...

At our House, we usually don't mind except for rush. The TKE"S Had their events on friday nights while we have ours on saturday. The one rule between both of us is both groups don't wear letters when visiting each other's houses.

LOL, he probably put up with it and didn't just leave just to please you. You obviously didn't suggest you should leave as soon as he started to get hassled so he figured you wanted to stay. It was nice of him to put up with that for you.

Question do people really wear their letters to partys, cause at my school thats like suicide

I didn't want to stay, but I agreed after he told me he was getting the last laugh by drinking a fair amount of their beer and hooch. He did a good job, all right.

PhiMuJulia, wearing letters at parties is unheard of at my school. You just don't do that. With my chapter, if anyone saw us, we'd be in trouble faster than you could bat an eye.

What is such a big deal if someone is at an open party and someone else wears their letters? It sounds like you're all acting like a bunch of high school kids. This bullshit is what gives Greeks a bad name. I'm a Lambda Chi and if a Pi Lam or an ATO or a TKE came in wearing their letters, then I won't mind; but the second someone starts a fight or anything, they get kicked out just like anyone else would. Peaceful coexistence is a must if a Fraternity or a Sorority doesn't want to have their charter revoked.

At Nebraska letters at a party, or even to the bars is a big party foul. It's one of the first things we tell pledges when they move in for the fall.

Usually, b/c parties at Nebraska are almost exclusively off-campus, other fraternity members don't know where everyone's party houses are, which therefore cuts down on the number of random fraternity guys. Our biggest problem comes from just randoms who may or may not come with girls and somehow find out about the event. We tend to ask them to leave b/c they are a risk management issue, and usually wont' treat girls the way they will be treated by the brothers.

There are only a few times I can remember when a lot of guys from another chapter have been to one of our party houses and they have all been for afterhours following huge parties we've thrown (I'm talking our top three biggest parties after Initiation and the camping date party we call Dynamo). In a sense they have been invited for afterhours and are not a big deal.

Our school has open parties open to anyone who pays at the door (greeks, non greeks, even non students). Even the supposedly dry house on our campus still has open parties.

-Rudey
--And I've seen guys wear hats but not lettered sweats to a party

At MTSU, girls NEVER EVER wear letters to parties...guys do. They show up in formal shirts, stiched letter shirts, hats, you name it. That's always seemed kinda weird to me...we were always told that we can't drink in our letters...but guys do...:confused: Oh, well...to each his own, I guess...

Thanks for all the responses....I feel very informed!

Blaire

Girls never wear letters out. Occasionally you will see some girls and their dates for a function in the function t-shirts at the bar pre-funking, but rarely. Guys are a lot more prone to wearing letters out, both to parties and the bar, but no one is stupid enough to wear block letters to a party. First, it's disrespecful, and second, if you come weaving home at all hours of the morning with a bunch of brothers and IFC sees you.. well, not a good idea.
It's pretty customary to ask people at the door:
Are you Pan, IFC, Police, Law Enforcement, or LCB?
If you are one of thse things, you have to answer yes, so it is a safe simple way to let the party keep happening. I was once with a group of friends going to a live-out party i knew, and we have probably 5 girls and one guy, and they wouldn't let the guy in. He didn't even go to the school, and they tried to tell him that it was a liability isue, but what about all those girls in there? aren't they a liability issue? More than likely, they just wanted only girls at the party, which is usually how it is.