Inca's Alumnae Initiation Quest (Update Jan 4)
 

I have noticed that everyone here seems to enjoy these stories, and hopefully mine will be a good one. I have begun to embark on a quest to alumnae initiate, and I'd like to keep you all updated, as in PM's, many of you have been very helpful.

I had 2 groups in mind initially. So far these are the only groups I have had any contact with, as limited as it's been.

My main criteria right now in deciding who to contact has been national and international presence, as well as how I felt about them in college. I realize the alumnae groups will be totally different than the collegiate groups, and I am trying to keep an open mind about all of them.

Any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated, as I've realized that waiting is the hardest part!

Hi Inca,
I am delighted to hear of another woman who interested in going Greek even after the college days are over!

I read through what you posted and it sounds like you have laid an excellent groundwork thus far!

I am not sure which groups you are interested in but feel free to PM me if you wanted to discuss anything discreetly or if you wanted more in depth advice.

I noticed that you had written:
"There are other groups that are a possibility. I have heard one group doesn't like to do AI's, while two other groups do."
You may need to check out these groups directly and ascetain from there as to how you were received. Although you may not know members directly, once you get to know some of the members in the Alumnae Chapter, you should be able to secure sponsorship from there. I also think that whether they are alumnae in your area and whether they are an active group should definitely shape your decision.....

I hope that this helps and I look forward to more updates!
:)

Yay! Another AI thread! Good luck Inca, and I agree -- it seems like you've laid a really good groundwork so far. Do come back and keep us informed!

I don't know much about Alum Initiations or the openess of certain organizations to it, but it definitely sounds as if ABC didnt get your original message. If i were you , i'd definitely try to contact someone one more time....GOOD LUCK! Thanx for sharing your story... please keep us posted:D

Yay!!! Another AI thread! I am also in pursuit of AI, and it can be very intimidating to contact a GLO if you don't know anyone there.

I was in a similar situation to yours in that I was interested in a GLO where I knew one member, but we were not extremely close. I contacted the national office anyway, but the response was very negative.... they appeared to only want inquiries from people who were close to current members.

It seems that regardless of the group, you are probably in a better position if you know a collegiate or alumnae member. Try mentioning your interest in AI to friends and acquainances. You'd be surprised how many people you'll find who are in GLOs. You may have to educate some of them on AI, but if you are really serious about membership, it's worth the effort.

Good luck to you! Keep us posted on your progress!

You may want to private message or e-mail a GreekChat Moderator who is an alumna of ABC and DEF and get some feedback on the organizational process so that you are better informed. They may also be able to steer you in a more direct path towards your goal.

Welcome aboard, Inca!

I'm a fellow AI pursuer. (We need to come up w/ a short and catchy name for that.....)

When I began my "quest" I found out that keeping an open mind about who to contact is more important as an alumna than as a collegian. The Web offers more and more immediate information than we had as college students, plus a few extra years gives us a completely different POV than we had back then.

There's been some signs of progress on my end recently--I'll be posting some details of my own soon.

Good luck and Happy New Year!
Adrienne
:)

I agree with Barb's advice but you might want to also ask some of the regular GCers as well (and not just the moderators). As an example, there are a number of women on here who have experience with our AI process (myself included).

How about PNAM ... for Prospective New Alumnae Member ... as opposed to PNM which is the collegiate prospective new member...

:->

Works for me! Call me a PNAM from now on.

DITTO!!!
Great Idea! I'm going w/ it too!

Adrienne
PNAM-2003
:D

More power to you all!!!!!!
 

I have been where you are standing right now and it is frustrating... know this there are so many groups know that are so open to AI so if one door closes another will open up! Also, this time of yr, as it has been said elsewhere on the board, is the holiday season and most if not all national offices are low in staff right now so keep your chin up!

PM Cutiepie , she has such awesome information about AI to share with ladies who want to pursue this avenue!

Just tho throw in my 2 cents i am a product of AI with Alpha Phi and they are truly the most awesome group of sisters ever!


Laura

Loooove the PNAM!! Count me in as one!

As long as we're talking about PNAMS--every time I see an AI thread, I think "artificial insemination" because when I was an agriculture professor, that's all the animal science professors talked about-- their bulls and their AI success! I wonder if any other agriculturists are thinking the same thing?:D

I thought that it was just me. ;)

LOL carnation!

Ahhhhh .... but as a computer scientist I always think Artificial Intellengce ... I guess each profession has its own shorthand...

i think that too
 

I think about the movie i saw last yr A.I :) lol
Laura

Likewise :D

Good luck, Inca! :)

I was thinking the same thing too!

Inca:
Best of luck with your quest for AI :)

Gooooo Inca! I can understand why some organizations back off of AI with people they don't know well, but like you, I always feel like they're losing out on some really great women that way. You have to be dedicated, determined, and have a strong sense of purpose to pursue alum initiation when you don't know anyone -- I know how challenging it can be!

I'm sure you'll find a home in 2003, and if there's anything I can do to help, feel free to PM me. :)

Good luck!

That would be my approach as well.

It's their loss............

Re: Update
 

I didn't let them know that I was looking into two different groups. I've heard that it isn't exactly a wise idea to do this when you're in pursuit of alumnae initiation. I'd say play your cards as close to your chest as possible.

Good luck, Inca!

Hi Inca!


From one PNAM to another, best of success to you!!

If there's one thing I always tell PNAMs, it's to accept now that you may have to wait long periods of time without hearing back from people. It's par for the course.

Also, don't forget that it's January and people may be taking a break from the holidays. January and February may be a bit busier for folks since the spring term will have just started and the alumnae may be helping chapters with spring recruitment etc.

I think you're wise to weigh your options at the start. If the organization does not seem responsive at all, move on. Unless you desperately want to be in the such-n-such sorority, I wouldn't try and fight against people who will make you feel bad.

I have to agree with Sistermadly regarding the multiple interest situation. It would be great if we could approach these things one at a time. However, as most of us PNAMs know, some orgs just won't respond to enquiries for months. Just when you give up and contact your next choice, the first responds! Now you've got to juggle two (or even three!) orgs at one time. CutiePie2000 advises that you try to be as discreet as possible so as to not seem like you're just going from one org to another until someone takes you. This is good advice. If asked by an alumnae, I would admit to having contacted another org so as to not be dishonest.

Ok....now, as much as I love CutiePie2000, who is absolutely brilliant :) , I have to disagree with some of her advice posted in another thread. CutiePie2000 advocates not contacting local alumnae groups on your own. Instead, one should allow the national headquarters to do it for you. Again, I have to speak from experience and having read other's similar experiences, that national HQs don't always respond in a reasonable fashion. If they do, they're either really helpful or really NOT. If they are not responding or not helpful, then a PNAMs only choice is to contact an alumnae group directly. Oddly enough, one of the national officers of one org told me to do just that! Though, CP2000 is right in advsiing that you make sure that you clearly explain that you are not a member and that you are interested in alumnae initiation.


Good luck to you!

.....Kelly :)

The reason why one should not contact MULTIPLE local groups.....
 

Depending on where a woman lives and how active the City Alumnae Panhellenic is, I discourage women from contacting multiple local groups at a time. The reason for this is alumnae initiation is still a fairly uncommon occurence; women do not typically "seek out" being an alumna initiate, rather they are often mothers of collegiate members, and those mothers are extremely dedicated and involved in their daughter's chapter. The other case is that Alumnae women will think of friends that they would like to add to their alumnae circle, and nominate their names for membership accordingly.

Since a woman "seeking out" alumnae initiation is a fairly rare thing, I will tell you a story of one AI who had contacted multiple local alumnae chapters (she had contacted 3, but had only expressed an interest in 2, the 3rd was for information gathering). Anyhow, at the City Alumnae Panhellenic meeting, one of the women in one of the groups asked, "Is your sorority familiar with alumnae initiation? Jane Doe contacted us about it, and this is something that our alumnae chapter has not experienced before."
Well, as soon as she said that, women from Groups 2 and 3 also chimed in that Jane Doe had contacted them about Alumnae Initiation as well!

Don't think that this cannot happen to you (depending on the City and how active their alumnae panhellenic is), because it can happen and has happened. I know this is an extreme case, but it caused much embarrassment for Jane Doe and she was frozen out from those 3 groups (and since it came up at the Panhellenic meeting, now other groups was aware of her too).

I am pleased to say that Jane Doe did eventually find a happy home, but it might not have ended so happily.
For this very reason, I urge women to tread with caution and not contact multiple local groups on their own. After all, sorority women in different groups can and *do* talk to each other....how embarrassing would it be to have your name come up and be found out to be "shopping around"?

.
 

.

My goodness, you sound mad at me. :(

I'm not really disagreeing with you in a big way. I agree that women should not approach 15 different alumnae groups in town at one time. What I AM saying is:

- I think it's ok if a PNAM approaches the local alumnae group if the National HQ does not respond after a reasonable time.

- It's ok to approach a 2nd national organization if the first does not respond after a reasonable time.

By "reasonable time" I'm talking 2-3 months.

Women who have absolutely no problem with their journey to alumna initiaion will be able to follow your suggestions 100%. Women who have lots of obstacles to overcome may have to adjust your guidelines in order to be appropriate to their situations. Surely that's ok, right? I mean, the alumnae panhellenic in Los Angeles will be different than the Alumnae Panhellenic in New Orleans. Yes, by all means, be aware; but also be aware that the guidelines aren't one size fits all.

Everyone should use their best judgement on how to approach things. CP2000 gives some excellent advice regarding alum initiation. Do your best with it as your situation allows and that's the most anyone can ask.

.....Kelly :)

Oh hey, speaking of "shopping around", how many is too many over the grand scheme of things?

Someone else mentioned (I think it might have been in another thread) that she was concerned that she would be looked down upon if she approached another couple groups if the first one didn't work out.

I wonder about this too. My first organization was a disaster. :( The organization I'm currently working with is one that I didn't really know about until I checked them out and then fell in love with their ideals. The org is great, I like them and they really seem to like me. As you all may recall, the regional coordinator pretty well gave me the informal invitation to be a member this last summer. The only thing is that we have to hold off on starting the official process until I get home from England.

I'm really happy with this group and I'm really looking forward to becoming a member. But what if something really bizarre happens? Like, if the regional coordinator, who was temporarily "sponsoring" me moves away before I return to the US? And the local alum group has a bunch of new members I hadn't met before and they don't like me or something? What if it all falls through with sorority #2?

Would I be considered a dork if I contacted a third group? I mean, there are 26 (?) NPC sororities. Of those, there are only 5 which really interest me as a potential alumna member. Hypothetically, if I were to exhaust all five avenues, I couldn't imagine myself trying for any others.

Anyway, I just want to make it clear that I'm very happy with the group I am currently working with. This is just a "what if" question designed to generate discussion.

:)


.....Kelly :)

Inca, goodo for you!!!!

This like taking a vacation, takes forever to get there, but takes no time at all to get back home!:(

It sounds if things are stating to fit into place for you!

The Very Best Of Luck To You!:)

Junior league
 

I have a packet sitting on my coffee table to apply to become a member of the jr. league. I am contemplating joining but as a recent alum initate i debate if i should. I want to do both but being a Jr leaguer puts a lot of time constraints on you the first yr. Plus being in this paralegal program and mother it is hard to spread your self out.

I say good luck with the alum even next month. I bet it will lots of fun.


Laura

Re: contacting local groups
 

Local contacts are just for this purpose. The women we've initiated as alums came to us just this way, not from contact to our national organization. We invite them to our activities to see if it's a good fit on both sides and then give her a mentor to help her thru the process.

Now I understand the multiple problem. But if you find a group you're really interested in, you should contact the local group to find out if the interest is mutual. If it doesn't work out, THEN check out the next one.

Inca, keep us posted and the Very Best Of Luck tonight!:)

Just be cool and enjoy the event and meeting people! I am sure that they will not bite, hell many times they are just as worried about meeting someone new themselves.:D

Oooh! How exciting! Good Luck and let us know what happens and how it went!

GOOD LUCK!!! Glad everything went so well!

Since all NPC groups are college based, it seems that it would be very unusual for someone to want to join as an alumna; however, after reading these posts, I guess it isn't. Speaking for my own sorority, the only reason we would consider alumnae initiation would be as an honor (a mother, a housemother, a political person, etc.) or if we needed an adviser and the individual was willing to serve the sorority in that capacity. We do have an honor initiate at each national convention and she is usally a prominent person. Of course, the individual would have to be highly recommended by a member(s). I believe that one requirement is that she have a college degree, but I am not positive of that.

I have also been involved in a conversation in an alumnae Panhellenic meeting when an individual who had contacted several member groups was discussed. It was generally decided that she was trying to stir up trouble and none of the groups were interested in her. After comparing notes, it became apparent that she was moving through the groups in alphabetical order.

With all of the other organizations open to women, why would anyone want to join a group that has as its basis collegiate membership? I guess I just don't understand.

Nhfulmer, maybe for a myrid of reasons they could not join as an undergraduate member, but still wanted to attain that feeling with a certain Org. that they became friends with and beleived in!

Check the Alumni Thread.

Manytimes, those AI members become very improtant parts of their respective Group, Frat./Soro! Some have even become National Officers.

One never knows for what reason, but they do want to be there.

If ones nose gets to high in the air, they catch a cold and the nose runs, ooooh snotty nose!:p :D

I'm an alumna initiate and I was part of a colony that did not come to fruition in college (this university had no Greek system to speak of, other than 1 men's fraternity). Then I switched universities after having a death in my family. As that university did have a Greek systerm, and I was craving friendship and support, I went through Rush. Unfortunately for me, since I'd had a death in my immediate family, suffice it to say that I did not make the "perkiest" rushee. Since I knew a lot about Delta Gamma already, but I had not yet been initiated, I suppose it always felt like "unfinished business" to me. Enter my 30s and I found that this desire to be initiated did not go away. I also wanted to join for the friendships and networking, which I try to make the most of. I expressed this desire to the Delta Gammas that I had met all those years before, and I am pleased to say that 2 Former National Presidents and a National Vice-President were my sponsors.

I now have DG friends in different parts of North America and even in Australia. I am so happy about this and I am devoted to my Fraternity; I pay my dues, support the collegiate chapter during Recruitment and in other ways, such as Founders Day. We don't have the same degree of "involvement" as I imagine that you have in "The South"...we don't have a City Sponsorship Chair or anything like that. However, we love our Delta Gamma deeply and try to ensure her longevity all the same! :D

>>>With all of the other organizations open to women, why would anyone want to join a group that has as its basis collegiate membership<<<

I am not an alumna initiate, but I have to reply to the above. I believe that many sororities are like mine (particularly if they are NPC sororities). While we certainly have our beginning in collegiate membership, there is no ending. I was never told or led to believe that AOII was only a "college thing". On the contrary, I have been reminded for my whole membership (28 years) that it is "for always". An alum initate will not have the same experience with her sorority as one who is initiated as a collegiate with the whole collegiate experience. But she will benefit from, and contribute to, her sorority in ways that are equally as important.

I would love to know... Nhfulmer???
 

Of which NPC group are you a member?

I just did a search by username and I believe the answer to my question is Zeta Tau Alpha.