A Holiday Thought from someone with no living family
 

I wanted to leave you all with a holiday thought as you spend what is traditionally considered a Family day with your Family.

You may not always like your relatives and many times that dislike will be deserved. But the holiday season is the one time of year that people act like they are supposed to act.

Its the one time of the year that people behave as if they are the people they really think they should be.

I lost my mother at age four. I lost my father at age eleven and my legal guardian shortly after attaining my majority.

I can honestly say that I would dearly love the luxury of being able to have conflict with my parents like many of you do.

But alas, they are dead. So both conflict and love are impossible.

So as someone that must spend holidays alone in a form of spiritual isolation I give you aword of advice.

Spend a little extra time cherishing your reltives this year. And remember that time never offers us a second chance . . at anything.

So what you put off saying or doing now, may never get said or done.

So seize this prescious moment and express a little more love or caring.

And when all else fails, fake it. Act as if you aren't angry and bitter. Because when you finally get over it, it may be too late to show you care.

Give them an extra hug for me.

Have a Happy and Safe Holiday Season!

Those are very nice words, and to think I thought you were insensitive.
I hope you don't spend Christmas all alone. :(

Shit. I just want to hug you right now.

-Rudey
--I hope you enjoy the holidays dude.

James, thank you. I unexpectedly lost my beloved grandfather one year ago tomorrow, and all I could think when I read your message was: how true, how true.

How I miss him. I know I will be hugging everyone *just a little bit tighter* tomorrow. I hope you all will be hugging yours a little tighter, too.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

12 years ago I too lost my father and the Holidays are always a weird time for my mom and me because things aren't just the same. Though it seems like we lose someone special every year, I can take comfort in knowing that there are those out there that I can still cherish and remember during this season.

James, thank you so much for your holiday wishes and I wish the same for you and your loved ones.

james, thank you for awakening everyone to the real meaning of the holiday season..

with that said you should come spend xmas with my family clan... :D

Thanks for sharing, James. We can never be reminded too many times of what is *really* important during the holidays, our family and our friends.

My father died 7 1/2 years ago, and I still want to pick up that one extra box of his favorite chocolate covered cherries for him. It's little things like that which makes my heart ache at this time of the year.

One of my sons reminded me today that it's not about the gifts you get, it's the gifts you give. That means more to me than any of the boxes now under our tree, ya know? Enjoy your family, enjoy your friends, enjoy your life. It's too darned short sometimes.

Happy holidays and hugs to you all,
Christin

I was just sitting back and thinking...."it's surprising no one has mentioned much about the "true meaning of christmas" on GC," etc. etc. and then I read your post and just about melted. I think everyone on the boards wants to invite you over to spend the holidays with their families! Thanks for the reminder James! May the loving spirit of the holidays, and the love from your friends here at GC, keep you company!

James, thank you. I lost my mother 7 years ago and ever since i have treasured more and more the time spent with my family, if for nothing else to tell my younger cousins about the aunt they never knew. i hope you have somewhere to go to celebrate this holiday, and all holidays.

How true.

I lost my father when I was 14. I would give anything to just hug him and say "I love you" one more time.

My mother's best friend died on December 14, leaving behind 4 sons, two of which are age 17 and 14. My heart aches for those boys not having their mother, who truly was a saint, especially right now.

During my teenage years I was very resentful of those who fought bitterly with their parents, who openly defied them and rebeled for no apparent reason. I was jealous of those who had 2 (seemingly) loving parents and didn't appreciate them. I know that I've complained about my mom here from time to time, but I wouldnt' trade her for anything in the world. She was diagnosed with cancer 5 years ago, and she seems to be in remission, thank God.

I guess what I'm saying, is, take it from someone who has prematurely lost a loved one: dont' ever take anyone for granted. Love them every day. Tell them that. Don't wait for the Holiday season.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Re: A Holiday Thought ffrom someone with no living family
 

quoted so everyone can re-read . . . AEKDB James

Oh my gosh, I have tears in my eyes now. I am thankful that both my parents are still here. Although my family might get on my nerves from time to time, I am still greatful to be able to spend the holidays with them.

True dude.

People just don't know what they have, or have no perspective one what they do have.

Have a good holiday bro.

AEKDB
Collin

Hey James - here's a big hug for you. [O]

I lost my mom 3 years ago and holidays can be a truly sucky time. It sucks more when I hear one of my best friends talking shit about how she hates her mom and I just want to smack her a couple times or so.

No they are not perfect but neither are you - but they are your family. You won't have that relationship with anyone else, and there are things you will share you can never share with anyone else. So if there's a problem, at least TRY to get past it.

Here's hoping all our dearly departeds manage to run into each other somewhere along the way and share a story or two.

Re: A Holiday Thought ffrom someone with no living family
 

James -

I know I probably get on your nerves sometimes, well, probably a lot, but I'll think of you during this holiday season.

Blaine

James, I am sorry to read about your parents. Thank you for shedding a little light on what is important, especially at this time of year.

What to say........ nothing that hasn't already been said. Found this a little late, but a year hold many meaningful dates for people. We should try to carry your message in our hearts all the days of the year.

To those of you who have sadness and pain in your heart, I for one believe you will be reunited one day and the joy will be astounding.

I can't say anything to make things better, but I'm thinking of you.

I know, somewhat, how James feels...

I didn't lose my parents to death, but I did lose them in my life because of differences in our beliefs (Sorry, don't want to get into it) It's hard to see how happy families are around this time of year, when I know it should be that way with me and my family.

Thank God I have my adopted family and my KD sisters....life would be a much colder place without them.

James, I want to wish you a wonderful holidays. You know I think you ROCK!!!

Ivory

Yo Bro, I can feel your pain!

Spent 5 hours on the road to be with my Dad who is, how do I say it, My Dad! Left shop at 5:00 Sat., Got Back Home at 11:00 next day! Is He a pain in the Butt, Yes!

We hug when I get there and shake hands when I leave! I am Mature, He is old at 86 but still my Dad!

But Remember the Good Times that you had with your Folks. I lost my Mother 4 years ago and had to be the one to put her in a nurseing home! I died a bit when I did that!

Cherise what you had and the memories that you have, they never die!

Insite on Me:

Why do I love Meg Ryan, who smiles and shows her gums and has saggy boobs!

But I love Tia Carrea more, as well as Aloho girls!

FICKLE PICKLE!

Dont know why I saaiidd that! But life sucks right now!

Good Night and God Bless!

Dear James,

I couldn't agree with you more. I spent the holidays in New York this year. That has been my dream for the past several years b/c it's New York for crying out loud, but also b/c my entire family lives there. However, what brought me to New York was not my desire to be there, but b/c my grandmother passed away. We held a two day wake and then on the third day we buried her. It was an emotional three days, to say the least. Although it was sad in so many ways, I was thankful for the chance to see my entire family again, I was grateful for still having them. It was bitter sweet. Then, to top it off, we had a white Christmas...the first in thirty years! Makes me wonder...

Although the holiday season is coming to an end, my heart is still with you. You have my sympathies.
I hope you have been able to surround yourself with good friends and good food.;)

James, your future wife and children are going to be some of the luckiest people on earth.

James,
I hope you had a wonderful holiday. I know my mom preaches how important family is and I live my life that way. Family is the thing that keeps a person going. It's like your own support system and cheering section. I love my family with all my heart. It took me a while to understand that, but with time and a little growing up I understood what my mom was talking about.
So, consider us your family and know that we're here for ya too.

A thread that deserves to be bumped.
 

Last night, my mom and I got into a horrible fight -- things got violent and harsh words were exchanged. This morning I tried my darndest to find this thread because I needed a reminder of what this time of year is about. I haven't quite been in the spirit, but reading this thread every year always sets me straight.

And James, I know that we don't get along, but I just wanted you to know that this is one of my most favorite threads ever and I enjoy reading it every year.

I'd love to give you a big hug right now, James. Too many people, me included, take the people we love for granted sometimes. I think it's great that you posted that to remind us that we really shouldn't do that. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. I'll be thinking of you.

This is obviously an old thread but one well worth resurfacing!

My mom died when I was 12 and so the holidays have always been rather bittersweet for me and my brother. As a child we had the kind of family that was only seen in movies...mother was a true angel, dad was well respected in the community, parents loved to entertain, they never argued, cursed, drank, etc...in other words a picture perfect family. We had so many holiday traditions and then that all ended when my mom died.
My dad remarried and from that point on nothing was the same. I think that the remarriage was almost harder than losing my mom or at least it felt like losing her all over again. Things were really rocky with the "new family".
As a child the holidays were my favorite time of the year but after my mom died it was never the same. What really sucks is that the last Christmas that she was with us she spent in the hospital and then died right after Christmas on Jan. 11.
Now that I am an adult things are better. I have children of my own and try to relive those childhood holiday traditions with them. I love the holidays but there is always a certain sadness about them at the same time. I worry about my brother a lot during the holidays because he does not yet have any children of his own and his relationship with my stepmother is not good at all. He gets really depressed during the holidays and it just breaks my heart.
So my point is that James is so right. Cherish your family (both good and bad). Time does not have a rewind button.

I'm sorry to hear about your parents, James.

My 16-year old cousin (and best childhood friend) died 2 years ago, and in the past year, I lost two beloved grandparents to lung cancer and a dear friend to the war in Iraq. It makes spending time with family and friends so much more meaningful.

Today my two aunts, my mom and I got together and baked an assload of cookies. I realized how much I love and apperciate my family while I watched them singing Christmas songs while decked out in aprons and flour. Seriously, I don't know what I'd do without them and how lucky I am to have an entire family who will do absolutely anything for me.

This is why I love Christmas.

While it is an old thread, it is more poingiont more that ever.

My Father is 87, My Mother Passd away 5 years ago. I complain about driving 2 1/2 hours to see him. Shame on Me! :(

Family is Family, you may have had your differences like I had, but Blood is and will always be important.

I will be happy to be with My Father for A couple of Days as Dont get to see Him but maybe twice a year.:)

Have a Happy Holliday My GC Friends, be safe!:)

I was reading this thread and it made me think of how I take my family for granted. I have a huge extended family that I always thought was more of a hastle where Christmas cost some extra $$ and more boring family functions, but it wasn't until I went away to school and didn't see these people on a day to day basis that I realized how much I love them and how my life wouldn't be the same without them. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.... i wish i only realized this lesson years ago so that i didn't miss out on spending time with the ones I love.

Last Christmas, we thought that my 85 year old grandmother was about to give up on life. She didn't want to do anything. Today for my birthday she made me one of her delicious apple pies that I remembered from years ago.... it was the first time in over a year that she truly seemed back to her old self, that was the best birthday/christmas present I could ever ask for.

The Holidays are about friends, family, and being thankful for all the blessings in our lives.

Happy Holidays to everyone and I hope you all find joy this holiday season.

Thank you for bumping this thread!!! I hope everyone on GC has a wonderful holiday! Especially to those that have had trouble or stress lately in the family. I wish my dad would read this and actually get the hint. My grandfather is not doing so well and my dad just kinda ignores that and goes on. So I'm glad I read this tonight....just so I remembered. B/c sometimes its hard....even though it shouldn't be.

And James...... I adore you! You are a good guy even though you try really hard at hiding it. ;)

James,

What a sweet letter...thanks so much for writing this.

I wish my hubby could see this. He and his brother lost their mother to cancer right before Christmas in 1989 and their dad in 1996.

Today we are road tripping to Tampa to see his brother and spend Christmas with them. It means more than ever now because brother-in-law just had polyps removed that turned out to be precancerous.

God bless all of you, and hold on to them tight.

James, hugs to you. You are a vital part of our GC family!

I was looking up old holiday threads and this one bears bumping up. It's a reminder of sorts for me to be a little more kinder, patient, and understanding when it comes to family.

One of the wisest posts I've ever seen on GC.

Merry Christmas, James!

Here's hoping everyone finds the real meaning in whatever holiday they may be celebrating.

Thank you, James - that was so moving and profound! I see you live in PA. If you'd like to join our family for Christmas, you're more than welcome to join us.

My daddy died 3 1/2 years ago, and how I regret the kvetching I did on What in the World to Get Him!! I'd do almost anything to think of something other than a blanket of roses for his grave. My mother's health started going downhill about a year later, and my uncle's too weak to leave the house for Christmas. I used to tease that we could have a family reunion in a linen closet, but it's not so funny anymore...

Our family has grown by one dog, one very loving, cute, and funny dog who has brought us - especially my mother! - a world of joy. He is seriously keeping my mother going!

Thank you again, James, for your lovely thoughts, and making me think about what I have, instead of have not. You've blessed my Christmas already!




PS - and I'm sincere about dinner. We're low key, high calorie when it comes to holiday dinners, but if you think you could handle that, PM me.

Time for the annual bump.

Years later, still one of my most favorite threads ever -- and everyone on GC should have the chance to read/re-read it.

Happy Holidays, GreekChat.

I have missed this thread the last few years. Thank you James for reminding us what Christmas is all about. I usually have to work the holidays. This year I will be taking Chrsitmas off. Unfortunately, my grandmother died 2 months ago-it is sad that I did not get to spend time with her last Christmas. My family is shrinking and to put it frankly-it sucks. I will not get another Christmas off for many years (unless I quit my job) so I plan to enjoy this one as much as possible.

Merry Christmas everyone. Please stay safe.

This post is soooo touching!! As someone who also has no living parents I can relate to what James was saying in his original post. Best wishes to James and all of GC this season!

James, the offer is still good, and the rum balls are about 190 proof. Let me know if you care to join us - sincerely! Honey

Thank you so much for the bump!

It is hard to type with tears in ones eyes.

Christmas as we know today is for the kids, but for us that have lost people, it is a time of rememberence of those that we have lost.

Think of them just smiling down upon us and saying, hey mother/father, I guess we did not do to bad of a job in raising them.;)

God Bless one and all.