How Long Do You (or Can You) Wait??
 

My friends and I were talking about what is the appropriate length of time to wait before having sex with someone. One of my female friends says that you should wait until after the seventh date. A male friend of mine says that if it hasn't happened by the fourth date, he's no longer intereted. And, two friends, male and female, go for it as soon as they want to.

So, I ask you GC, how long do you wait?

I don't have casual sex. And by this I mean with men I'm just "dating." I don't think anyone should have sex outside of a monogamous relationship. (Although many people think they are in a monogamous relationship and arent :eek: )

But, right now, I personally don't plan on having sex until I'm married. If the man can't wait, then he's not the one.

I will say this....I'm going to tell my daughter, when she gets around the age of "exploring" to wait until you're married. There is just too much disease going around and how do you know if the one you're "in-love" with right now is going to be Mr. Husband? It's just not worth it.

I am not a staunch proponent of one or the other. I think if the chemistry is right during any point in the relationship, then go for it. However, I also think it is important to communicate so that neither party has higher expectations about it.

Personally, I have very high standards anyway, so casual sex isn't really an option.

Imma have to be real..........
 

Ladies (and a few gents)

I feel that each person should do just what they feel. I'm sure that in this day and age that we all know about the risks of sex and the importance of protection. As long as all those bases are covered and you've reviewed the personal outcome, then do what YOU feel.

I'm a grown azz woman and if I feel that at that point and time I want to crank, then quite frankly Ex is gonna crank.

To answer the question, I don't think that a time limit should be placed on when one should have sex. If those two persons are responsible and adult enough to take the proper precautions and handle what comes with sex, then cool. Whenever they feel comfortable is the right time. That's on them. I can't shoot down anyone's choices because it is a matter of individual preference.

Until recently I would have agreed with most people on this thread that sex is a matter of personal choice (and eventually it is). I think that because we have grown up in a society and in a generation where sex is sad to say, not as sacred an act as it is meant to be, it has become something that we don't concern ourselves with seriuosly. I think when it comes to sex people consider that a very personal decision and much like abortion people don't want to be told how or why they should live their lives a certain way. Especially if there is a slight suggestion what they are doing is wrong or immoral. Who wants to have that shoved in their face or be reminded of their choices. I think if we would remind ourselves that this earth is ONLY a stopping place we may remember where our ultimate destination is, and we have to live our lives with that in mind. If you have causual sex or you destined to be banned to hell? Of course not, our God forgives. I myself struggle with the issue of being engaged but not married to my son's father. However when we willingly do something we KNOW does not please God, we should make an effort to correct those actions rather than dwell in them, and blame it on the times we live in.

Well said!!

*lol* @ Exquisit.....
CRANK? :confused:, I've never heard of "it" being referred to as CRANK! *lol* . And I thought I hated the term " Bump Uglies"!
But back to the question....

I would say that in general there is no magical number. There should definitely be no "cranking" going on until a frank discussion has been had concerning feelings, sexual history, current "disease" status verification, etc. This rule applies to all of us, regardless as to what you're plans are (i.e. saving until marriage, waiting for a LTR, etc.).

There have been several threads referring to "cranking" as an "energetic communication between a man and woman."

I'm also not at all into casual sex. Because of my age, I admit that I'm only looking for LTR/marriage potentials, and a man will have to work for it.

:p

LMAO
 

I choked on my egg nog at this !!! Have a Merry Christmas Steeltrap!!

Re: LMAO
 

Merry Christmas, exquizit. I'm glad I drew a chuckle, but I remember those threads -- because a key MIA GCer participated.
;)

Move on...
 

The thread has been cleaned up. Please continue on with the original conversation. Thank you.

I agree with most others, that this is a personal decision. I won't tell anyone else how to live their lives. I won't look down on them because they don't choose the path that I choose either. My path is meant for me. Some people want to make it a morals issue, for some a religious issue and for others they make it a health issue. Personally, I will do it when I feel I am ready. Seven dates does not a boyfriend make, but sometimes after 4 you know that this is the person you want to be with. I follow my heart because it's never steered me wrong. If someone wants to wait until they get a diamond ring because mama told them to, then that's their thing. For myself I don't have a set standard of time to wait, I have a set feeling.

Wonderful1908 says:
Until recently I would have agreed with most people on this thread that sex is a matter of personal choice (and eventually it is). I think that because we have grown up in a society and in a generation where sex is sad to say, not as sacred an act as it is meant to be, it has become something that we don't concern ourselves with seriuosly.

I agree 100% But unfortunately, sex is (today) just sex. It is as meaningful as the two persons involved make it. However, when it comes to sex, etc. I agree with Ex do what YOU feel, if you want it go for it. There are no real rules except for the ones you establish. You could have sex the 1st night and be together forever or wait till you are married and realize that it wasn't all it cracked up to be.(Ever had this happen ladies? *chuckle chuckle*)
:mad: It's all give and take....:rolleyes: :)

Re: Imma have to be real..........
 

yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss inCRANKING deed!

LMAO

:cool:

You all make valid points and it is true that sex today has lost its true meaning. I strongly believe that sex should be between two people who are in love with each other. That's not to say, however, that I don't agree with casual sex. Although, I don't condone nor condemn casual sex, it is a responsibility to one has to able to deal with in the long run. A lot of women go for it the first maybe even the second date and then go insane when the man doesn't call them back. That's not responsible. When you know you are about to participate in something as meaningful as sex, you should be ready to accept ANYTHING that may come as a result (that includes heartache and pain, pregnancy, or disease).

True. Responsibility is important...

Yet, why is it such an "issue" if someone casually wants to crank? If the adults MUTUALLY agree to crank, what's the problem? Why is it that women are looked down on if she cranks on the first encounter or so? Evidently, it's what she wanted AT THE TIME. (LOL) Maybe she isn't looking for a relationship....just a good CRANK! Maybe she doesn't want to talk after the fact either. Therefore, no love lost...just frustrations and tension. :o

Just a thought...

Since I am a woman, my perspective comes from that point of view and I guess I neglected to say that some men as well as some women go insane when the person who they have CRANKED with doesn't acknowledge them after the fact. I don't look down on women who crank on the first date. I do, however, believe that EVERYBODY should be ready for whatever happens, men included. I, of all people, certainly have NO ROOM to look down on a woman who wants to get down on the first date. It's the aftermath that gets some people into trouble.