Rejection Letter
 

Dear ________:

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available.

So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.

(Check those that apply...)

___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it,
hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can
picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!

___You failed! the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

___Your legs are skinnier than mine.

___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.

___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.

___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

___You still live with your parents.

___Although I do enjoy the "X-Files," I find your wardrobe of "Star Trek" uniforms a little disconcerting.

___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long-term partner.

___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should
however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please
resubmit your application.

___I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely, ______________________


:D

Try not to make too many copies ladies!! :cool:

Excellent idea.. kind of like an exit interview:D

I'd have kind of liked to get one of those... I think though that you left out the box (and this is one fellas hear all the time) "It's not you, it's me."

*lol* :D
I thought guys mostly use that "excuse"? *lol*

:)

Can I add...

______ Your kissing skills are desperately lacking.

AMEN!! I hate sloppy, all over the place kisses!

Funny stuff! :D

___You still live with your parents. I've met that guy, TWICE! :rolleyes:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha :D :D :D :D

Absolutely sidesplitting, Honeykiss! I love it :)

LOL This is hilarious.

If I received this letter I would frame it.

I used this last Friday. :o ;)

I love that line, though. Let's em go without feeling the guilt. Besides saying something like
"You are too nice and kiss my ass way too much" just doesn't seem appropriate.

CTFU at this thread.

peep this
 

Here's your exit survey...

http://www.reuben.org/rwo/arch/020912.gif

What about an application form?

Name______________
D.O.B._________________
SSN(for checking of credit, criminal history, etc.)___________
Height/Weight_________

Do you have all of your teeth?____
*If no, please discard application immediately and proceed to the nearest exit.

Do you have deep-rooted "issues"? (i.e. inability to detatch the umbilical cord, jealosy issues, fear of commitment, abnormal sexual fetishes, etc.)__________
*Note...an answer of yes to any of the above may not automatically disqualify you from consideration, but must be disclosed in order to proceed to the interview process.

Do you have any of the following (please circle any that apply):
**if so please elaborate, feel free to use the space on the back of this sheet**

Girlfriend(S)
Wife
"Baby-Mama"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriends
Crazy Mother/Father
Illegitimate Children
Pending Legal/Criminal Actions against you
Gay Tendencies
Communicable Diseases
Anger Management Issues


Do you have a car?____
*Note...if you are currently matriculating towards a degree, this requirement can be met by having "access" to an automobile.

Do you have a job?_____
*Note...having no job with unexplained wads of cash lying in inconspicous places will immediately disqualify you.

Finally....
Who was the best rapper? Circle one....

Tupac

Biggie

LOL
 

These are SO great!!!