A Penn State Sorority Girl Accused of Leaving Child
 

If you have a kid don't leave it at home alone.

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/111..._psuparty.html

I am left speechless. How do you figure that the baby will be fine if the door is locked? WTF? I'm beyond upset and very saddened to have learned that that happened. Let's lock up the mother and then ask her if she's fine! :mad:

I am shocked... that is sick and disturbing. going out to a party is more important that taking care of your child now... this is why people should need a license for a child. i can't believe all she asked was is the door locked... if people who were supposed to be watching my child left - the $hit would hit the fan.

apparently she's a sigma lambda gamma

Crazy. . .Are the people she left the child with being charged with abandonment too??? They should!!!

I'm sorry but if you are that irresponsible and can't take care of a child you need to put it up for adoption! :mad:

I can't believe this story! How could ANYONE possibly think that putting an 18-month-old child to bed and locking the door before leaving for a party is acceptable behavior?

The mother and absentee babysitters should be brought up on charges of child neglect and abandonment.

I wish this was a misprint, but if not, I'm pretty scared.

It was a wierd baby sitter situation. The Sisters kind of failed her.

But is it so unreasonable to assume that a fed and put to bed baby of 18 months would be ok for 2 hours or so?

I am actually just asking because I don't know anything about baby care.

Do they need minute by minute attention?

yes james, it is extremely unreasonable to think that a baby of 18 months - 1.5 years - would be ok alone.

sure, fed and put to bed with someone is the next room and the child would be fine - but alone - NO WAY.

you don't even leave a child alone for 2 seconds on a changing table - a one and a half year old can crawl, walk - what if he was trying to get out of his crib and fell and broke his neck? the story said he was crying and the neighbor found him in the hall - obviously you cannot leave a child alone, ever.

She did leave her child with "baby sitters" so she's not the only one to blame. About going out to party, we don't know if she's always going out. That was pretty dumb of her to ask if the door was locked. What I find the most disturbing is that the article says she left the child at 3am. Is that correct? Where the heck was she going at that time?

What does her affiliation have to do with anything?


On a side note, PLEASE don't go ASSUMING because she's non-NPC that this is regular behavior of all non-NPC's.

The only thing her affiliaion has to do with is that the story is titled "penn state sorority girl" and the fact that she left her child with some of her sisters. other than that - it has nothing to do with the story.

when greeks do something wrong, the media emphasizes our greek affiliation - it sucks.

and i, nor has anyone else, EVER once said or thought that b/c she's non-npc that this was regular behavior for all non-npcs. i think youre jumping ahead of yourself.

Ok. How stupid was this girl? She obviously didn't think at all when planning this night out because any mother would know that you need responsible babysitters. I mean I'm not a mother and even I know that! Also does she know that if anything at all would have happened to that kid that she'd be facing prision time.(If she's not already) The child should be put up for adoption or given to a RESPONSIBLE relative.

What an idot!
 

As the mother of a 3.5 year old and the mother of an 11 month old, I can tell you that all of them, friends who were supposed to be baby sitting and the mother are a bunch of morons.

You never, EVER leave a child unattended in the house for any reason short of going to get the mail. What if there had been a fire? Carbon Monoxide problem? Anything can happen.

I can only assume that the friends figured at 3am the kid was asleep for the night and left to party themselves. Locking the door or not to me is inconsequential. Reckelss endangerment of a child for a stupid party?

I can only surmise this woman was probably pretty darn young, and obviously clueless.

A child of that age is almost certainly walking, but has no experience with what is right/wrong/safe/dangerous.

A house with a toddler should be child-proofed -- that is to say that nothing should be left out which might be dangerous, stairs need to be blocked off, electrical outlets need protective covers, no cleaning chemicals left in low cabinets -- and a whole lot of other things you don't normally think of.

Although we don't know, I think it's safe to assume that the house where the child was left was not child-proofed.

Beyond the physical dangers, a child of that age is heavily dependent on adults, and is scared very easily. Being left alone is cruel. I was looking for a softer word, but can't think of one.

There were some very bad decisions made in this case -- by the mother and the baby-sitter(s).

When I go to the bars I take my kids with me and I lock them in the trunk so they can't get into trouble.

Be Responsible.

duh....
 

you're supposed to give the baby a big tablespoon of dramamine or cough syrup so they don't wake up. Jeez....amateurs.....

:eek:
 

This is just so sad... I feel so bad for that little baby. This of how scarred he or she must have been in a house all by itself! I hope the baby is put in the home of someone who truly loves and CARES for this child as much as it deserves.

And as for that so-called "mother" she needs to have her rights terminated and her tubes tied.

Re: duh....
 

LMAO

I'm really outraged by the amount of child neglect cases that keep surfacing. :( :mad:

This is terrible!!!:eek:
It is the fault of the sisters, who the girl trusted her child with
It is also the fault of the girl for not freaking out when the very same friends that she trusted her child with showed up at the party.
If it were me, I would have been causing a huge scene when they showed up and said "Oh, we put your kid to bed, but the door's locked":rolleyes:
Don't these girls realize that it's not always the things outside the door that can hurt the child, but the things inside too?

NO!!!!! It is the woman's fault for LEAVING her child without adequate supervision....PERIOD. And I am sorry, but I will just come out with the dang CONSERVATIVE team locked away in my brain and say that if you choose to have a child, then you give up your right to partying at all hours of the night until that child is either old enough to get help if needed, or you provide adequate supervision.....that's just irresponsible (and how could you figure leaving your kid at 3am would be anything other than irresponsible) and CRIMINAL.

I am NOT saying that you can't go out and have a good time, but you can't do that if you don't know FOR SURE that the person/people you are leaving her with will take care of her.

UGH!! This boggles my mind!

For those of you who wonder about leaving a child alone -- I have found that Eli does something I never thought about....he will be sound asleep, and will throw up or spit up in his sleep. That's a great reason not to leave babies unattended.

No one ever told me that NEVER again would I be able to hear a story of abuse/neglect/abandonment/etc. the same way after becoming a mom. Yeah, before I was a mom, it was a *sad* thing --- now that I'm a mom, its nothing short of tragic...even when nothing *bad* happens. I never knew that the cries of children I will never know could hurt me like they do.

I think her punishment should be having to go sit in therapy with parents who have lost their children -- whether through acts of irresponsibility or accident -- maybe then she'll realize its time to trade the little-black-pants for the flannel PJ's and the nightcaps that she drinks to the night caps that she puts on baby's head to keep her warm at night.

One can only hope!

AXOAlum,

Bravo! I'm proud of you.

This situation is probably the result of a young woman who is not mature enough to be a mother. Thankfully, there wasn't a tragic end to the story.

I can't help but wonder who and where the father was.

<<NO!!!!! It is the woman's fault for LEAVING her child without adequate supervision....PERIOD>>
From what the news said, she left her child with her sisters, so she did not intentionally leave her child alone. She left the child in someone's care. It was those sisters who left the child alone, and the girl's definitely at fault for not reacting when the sisters who were watching her baby showed up at the party

At 3:00 AM? With a baby? I don't think so.

Has anyone stopped to consider that most parents of young children are waaaay too tired to even think about going out, esp that late? What is she doing (or not doing) so that she has the energy to go out that late? I have no children and I would find it hard to go out that late at night. Forget it if I had kids.

You took the words right out of my mouth!!! I have a 20 month old, and when she goes to sleep SO DO I. Now I'll go out on occassion, a rare occassion, not even because I don't want to leave her late (which I don't most of the time) but because I'M tired!! A child that has started walking and half talking will run you ragged. The fact that she has the energy to go out at 3 in the morning says that she isn't the one taking care of the baby most of the time. Which is sad. I'm sorry, but I would not leave my daughter with ANYONE whom I didn't trust IMPLICITLY, sorority sister or not. Watching my child is not like letting someone borrow clothes or money, my child is a person, and a young person who doesn't know better about a lot of things, so to leave her with GROWN person who doesn't know any better is asking for trouble. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: I don't even leave her in the living room if I have to go to the bathroom unless she's in her chair. Baby proofing, while it should be done, isn't foolproof. Kids do get smart, and eventually they'll figure out how to get around those things (my daughter tries to anyway! lol).

Unbelieveable! What the heck was she thinking? I can't believe she didn't flip out at the party when she saw her "babysitters" there. Whether the door was locked or not is not even the issue...common sense tells you that. An unsupervised child at home alone is unsafe...PERIOD. There are just too many dangers inside the home for a child that age. I hope child protective services steps in because something just ain't right...

I don't even let my seven year old son go to a public bathroom by himself. I used to take him into the ladies room with me when he was younger. Now that he's older he outright refuses to use the women's bathroom. And, rightly so. Sooooooo, now I go into the men's room with him (after annoucing that a lady is coming in) just to make sure nothing happens to my child. There's nothing in there I haven't seen already anyway ;) and I've never encountered anyone who had a problem with it. I'm sure all of you parents (and even non-parents) can recall cases of children being molested or even murdered in a public bathrooms...sign of the times we live in. Sad.

I don't understand how she could have had a good time at that party knowing her baby was home alone. That just baffles me. Sometimes, it takes all my concentration to have a good time when I go out with my hubby and our son is with his grandparents. Maybe I'm just a worrier...

reading between the lines
 

Well, first of all the headline NEVER said "penn state sorority girl", its actually said, "Woman Accused of Leaving Child". It just happens to mention that she left the child w/ sorority sisters.
Second of all, do you all believe EVERYTHING you read in the papers and verbatim? Just because she asked "if they had locked the door of the apartment" doesn't mean she didn't ask anything else or do anything else. Who are we to assume about what she did or didn't say. And I do believe that the sitters should get charged as well because they were the ones who left the child. Just because all mothers of young children (I have a 16-month-old and another one on the way) don't go out partying doesn't mean that because we hear of one that does, she is a horrible person. No of us know her, yet everyone here is sitting there passing judgement on her w/out hearing both COMPLETE sides of the story. Its like how mad we all get when we hear stereotypes about Greeks because you *KNOW* your organization is different but they aren't interviewing you or asking for your side.

My point is that yes, based on the information presented in the article it sounds like a horrible story but you need to stop and think about what the other side of the coin looks like.

Karen

As far as I'm concerned, if a mom wants to leave her baby or young child with a sitter and go out dancing till 5 AM - more power to her. To imply that she's a bad mother because of that is not fair. Everyone needs a break from mommyhood once in a while - continually denying yourself just makes you resent the child.

But be sure that child is left with someone who knows how to care for children!!! It sounds like the women who were the "babysitters" didn't have a clue.

It is by devine providence and/or remarkably good luck that this child wasn't badly injured or killed.

Sorry, but anyone who believes that this mother, who had an 18 month old baby out at 3:00 AM, let alone left it with anyone besides a family member or certified baby sitter is anything but totally uncaring, selfish or stupid, either has no children or no clue.

Raising a young child is a mortal responsibility. And a moral one.

Generally, I like to be a little "middle of the road" and give the benefit of the doubt, but not in this case.

This situation is unconsionable.

So in other words, once that baby pops out, the woman should stay home chained to the sink? While hubby goes about his merry way, no doubt. :rolleyes:

One of my sisters has 2 little girls and goes out with us when she can. The girls are always left with their dad or grandma. And yes, we've had many 3 AMers. That absolutely does NOT make her a bad mother - she realizes that part of being a good parent is being a whole person - having a full life and taking time to do things with your friends. That's a lesson she is teaching her little girls and anyone who doesn't is the one with the problem, IMO.

Sorry if I am extrapolating (how's that for a big Monday morning word?) but I've seen so many marriages break up and women hating their lives because they thought they weren't allowed to be anything but a mother anymore.

I agree with ECUGSS and 33girl here (and for the record, I don't have kids, so I'm sure some of you will automatically discount my opinion). Well said, too, 33girl, about the need for women to have LIVES of their own after they have children.

The thing that pisses me off is that everybody is so quick to judge this woman without knowing the whole story -- the article is trying very hard to paint a picture of her being thoughtless and awful, but we don't really know if that's the case (maybe one of the sisters is trying to cover her own butt by making the mother look bad, no?).

The real question here is: what about the father? Maybe he's out every night partying all night long, and nobody would even say "boo" about that, would they? Maybe this woman *is* a responsible mother and never goes out but ONCE decided to go out. Why does she deserve harsh judgment because of the TIME OF DAY she went out? Would it be okay if she left her child with sitters to go to a bridge game at 2:00 in the afternoon? It seems that there are some very narrow roles for women being prescribed here.

Granted I don't have kids, but I've never heard of a certified babysitter. If you can't trust your sorority sisters, who are really *like* family, who can you trust?

I agree with 33girl and valkyrie.

It seems to me like this mother did arrange for what she thought would be responsible care for her child - namely, her sorority sisters. It was her sisters who then left the child alone.

Women should not be forced to put their entire lives on hold just because they have small children. As long as the child is cared for by a responsible adult or older teen - whether that's a babysitter (certified or not), dad, grandma, etc - mom should be free to go play bridge with her friends, go out to dinner, go volunteer at a soup kitchen, or go out and party until 3am.

Arranging for childcare is not the sole responsibility of the mother. Dad can pick up the phone and call the babysitter just as easily as mom can.

I adamantly refuse to put my life on hold when I have children. I informed my husband, long before we were even engaged, that I intend to continue to have a full-time career when I become a mother. The kids will go to day care. Ideally, one or both of us will be able to telecommute once a week so junior isn't totally being raised by strangers - but I flat out refuse to be a SAHM.

</soapbox> :)

Nope. I didn't say that, did I? In fact, you might read my post above where I question where the father is and why we don't hear about him. IF he's still in the picture at all, and he allows this kind of thing to happen, he shares the responsibility and guilt.

But I won't back down on my thoughts on this. At the moment, we're watching our 14 month old grand daughter two days a week so both our daughter and her husband (ages 22 and 20) can work, and go out without paying for child care. We're pretty closely involved with children this age and young parents as well.

However, when you have the responsibility for a young child who can't take care of him/herself, everything else must pretty much take a back seat.

And, Im sorry, leaving a baby beginning (not until) at 3:00 AM with these "sisters" is just not responsible.

This is a young life at stake.

Congratulations. I wish you well on your career.

My wife graduated Cum Laude from college and later sat on the board of directors of an international volunteer organization with chapters in 81 countries, and now runs her own very successful business.

She chose to stay at home with our kids, as her mother, who is also a college graduate chose to stay home with her. In retrospect, I applaud that, but I didn't necessarily agree at the time.

I think they would be highly offended at the insinuation that there's anything wrong with a "SAHM."

By the way, many high schools and the Red Cross have courses to "certify" people as babysitters.

Finally, I have to point out again that this mother was BEGINNING the party at 3:00 AM, not staying out until then. That's no way to take care of a baby.

Responsibility
 

Responsibility involves stepping up to the plate and taking blame even if the situation is "unfair". Yeah, that babysitter is to blame but in the end it's the parent who is responsible for that child.

That's how it works in business, the military, and politics. The higher up is responsible and takes the ultimate blame or prize home.

-Rudey
--Now this wouldn't be an issue if kids were all raised on a communal farm far away from their parents

Re: Responsibility
 

What a concept. Wonder why nobody ever thought of that.

I was in no way implying that there's anything wrong with being a SAHM. My mother-in-law was a SAHM. The mother of my best friend from childhood was a SAHM. Many of my neighbors and friends are SAHMs (and even a SAHD). All of these people have bachelor's degrees at least, and some (including my MIL) also have master's degrees.

What I am saying, is that *I* could never be a SAHM. It's just not in me to have my entire world revolve around a baby. That's not to say that being a mother is not a priority - just that it's one of many priorities.

And what annoys me, is the expectation that it's the mother who stays home. Nobody has ever asked my husband if he intends to quit his job and stay home with the baby. But when I tell people I intend to continue my career, some of them look at me like I'm nuts. It wouldn't be a question if I had a penis. :mad:

i think both of you have very good points. deltalum has experience raising children and has a p-o-v that some of us don't have since we don't have children.
aephi alum also has some good points.

i think that when you become a parent you suddenly have a whole new view of the world and your priorities can change. not to say they will, but for some people they do. when you hold that precious baby in your arms and know that it is yours, there's a love there that is so different than any love you have ever known. so i've been told anyways. i don't have kids, but i've always been told this. so i think deltalum has a few good points that stem from this view of children.

aephi alum, i think you are that there is a terrible stereotype or expectation of women to drop everything for their children instead of the man. i agree, why should women be the ones to stay home? i too want to pursue a career and intend to keep working after i have a child. there's nothing wrong with that.

as for sahm's, i think it's great what deltalum's wife and m.i.l did, but some women do feel it is a waste of their degrees and years of hard work at school to all of a sudden not have a job just b/c they have a baby.i'm very impressed with what they did and can tell that they must have loved it. but do they feel they wasted their degrees at all? i'm just wondering cuz i think i'd feel that way. i have a friend who is a sahm and she hates it. she is starting to resent her husband and her son and she doesn't like that.

so both of you have very good points when it comes to parenthood. as for this mother, only those involved know the real story about what happened. and where the father is, well, that's a good question. most likely he isn't in the picture at all.

shelley j
sigma k