Would this be considered hazing?
 

Our sisterhood chair is the most wonderful girl in our chapter. She's the reason that the majority of our pledge class even went back the seecond night of rush. she comes to all of our pledge events, did an amazing job with retreat, is always there when ANY of us needs her, and has dropped her plans when a group of pledges showed up at her house needing a place to stay. She happens to be German, and the president and treasurer are constantly calling her "dirty nazi", "jew killer", and several other horrible things. They laugh, but she is so upset she's close to quitting the sorority. I've never seen her cry - she's normally the most cheerful, loving person I've ever met. She's been here four years, and puts so much work and love into everything. This isn't the only bad treatment they've dished out to her, but this is what's upset her most. Is this hazing? How can it be handled?

That's shameful. I am so sorry about your sister. This makes me so angry. There is no need for behaviour like this and to attack a fellow sister who wasn't even alive during WW2 is ridiculos. Is there some other underlying event that is causing these 2 girls to be so hateful and nasty? or are they just naturally bitches...I'm sorry I don't know them, but there is no need to behave like they are behaving. This is just so angry and upsetting. I think if anyone should leave it should be these 2 girls...and for the president to be saying these things its even worse. How does the rest of the chapter feel? I don't know if it is considered hazing. But these 2 should be reported to your international officers and should be delt with accordingly. if not HQ then bring it up to standards. This needs to be delt with now before things gets worse. I'm sorry if I just rambled but this has just angered me.

well, one of the girls is my big sis, and she's not really a bitch in all areas. I like her, but I'm very disappointed. Our sisterhood chair is also the head of the standards board. I was angry enough to email our national membership person, who responded immediately, and we're talking tomorrow. I know that some of the girls in the chapter will be upset that a mere pledge :rolleyes: had the nerve to email NEB about this, but I just love her to death and no one should be treating her this way, least of all her sisters who profess to love her and be her closest friends. If it pisses them off enough to not activate me, then oh well. I'd rather be involved with an organization where the officers treat there members with respect. (These 2 aren't representative of the whole chapter. The majority are exceptional, loving, and just plain awesome.)

Well that's good. I'm glad you're going to talk to someone about it, because you're right no one desrves to be treated this way. And you're right if they choose not to activate you this is not an organization that you should belong too. Your international officer will know how to handle this properly, and you can ask to remain anonymous about this if you fear that you maybe be targeted in someway. I hope everything works out and that this problem is resolved quickly and properly. Let us know how things go.

Simply put: YES this is hazing. It is a situation that is created intentionally or unintenionally that creates discomfort and/or embarassment. It should not be done. The problem here is that since these girls are officers they are putting your entire chapter (and charter) at risk with their behavior. I wouldn't go straight to your HQ because they usually take pretty strong action that you might not be ready for. It doesn't sound like the problem is widespread or out of control. Best if you handle this matter internally if possible and then ask for help if necessary.

...............Agreed! Hazing doesn't just have to involve an active to new member; sisters can be hazed by sisters.............so sad! But happy someone is coming to provide some assistance.

Iris

Thanks for the support ya'll. I didn't hear from the lady at nationals yesterday, but I expect to soon. Nothing is really regulated in our chapter - by the campus I mean. We're not part of panhellenic or any other council. We're just kind of left t our own, and although in some ways it's nice, I wish that we had someone here to help us with things like this.

A lot of state laws address hazing. If nothing else your DA will back you up:D

Sure it's hazing, but even if it weren't, it's just plain cruel. You shouldn't need to resort to state law to get sisters to treat each other decently.

Ivy

Your sisterhood chair is lucky to have a sister like you pulling for her. Good luck, and let us know how this all goes.

I couldn't help but read through this...most schools have hazing policies which describe fairly well what hazing is or can be. Good luck on finding information out

I'm being taken to standards
 

Well, last night one of the officers was on the phone with the woman I sent the email to, for a completely different matter, and the woman asked her about my email. She and my big called our sisterhood chair immediately. Four of us happened to be over at her house, and as soon as she hung up and said she wanted to find out who sent the email, I admitted to it because I didn't feel it was right to hide it. Long story short, the entire chapter, including the sisterhood chair, is extremely pissed at me and I'm being taken before standards this Sunday. I'm willing to admit that I may have overreacted and didn't handle things correctly, but I don't think I'm the one that was exhibiting the wrong behavior. I've thought about depledging for awhile because of several different reasons, and I'm seriously considering it now. I want to be in an organization where the members treat each other with respect and care about one another, and I want the sisterhood that I hear people talk about. I haven't seen it here. Advice please?!

Crystal

wow. well the good news is that the standards meeting is confidential. you can voice your concerns to the standards committee about the way your sister was being treated. you can also ask them for advice on how to handle situations like this in the future. being new to the group, you may not have known your options of who to talk to etc. DO NOT feel badly about contacting your national officers. these women are here to help you. the chapter is probably going to get some extra help from your national office, but it sounds like it might need it. has any of your sisters explained the process of being brought to standards? you really need to talk to someone about this! don't stress about this. keep us posted!

Re: I'm being taken to standards
 

then your sisters are fake. if they want to pop mess and get mad becuase you ratted them out, then they should have kept their mouths shut in the first place. if someone has something smart to say, they should be prepared to reap the consequences. forget the entire sisterhood chair thing, obviously she doesn't have it at heart.

hmmmm
 

I don't think it's hazing really, but it is definitely harrassment and discrimination-which are illegal in all states. I mean, what would your "sisters" think if you called one of them a racial slur or "fat" or a "redneck" or a "wop" or a "Kyke" so something. Would it be so funny then? Could they laugh at themselves like they laugh at her? If one of them had a retarded brother and you were constantly calling people retards I bet $1,000 you'd hear about it. Sounds like a coupla bitches to me......

Last ditch...
 

Only do this as a LAST EFFORT....

After you have exhausted your options dealing internally with your chapter, go to your national offices. I can guarantee that they will reinforce what most of us say here... that you are right! The girls that are engaging in this behavior are the real problems here *NOT YOU*.

Good luck.

Wait. . .you mean the girl you were trying to defend and stand up for (the sisterhood chair) is pissed that you were doing just that?????:confused: And instead of politely and PRIVATELY saying "Thanks, but you know, I don't need for you to do that. It's all OK" they are taking you to standards? And instead of the other sisters thinking "you know, that's really not nice for me to do. Maybe I should change my behavior", they are taking you to standards? Exactly what standard did you violate? Surely not something in your GLO's creed or purpose?
Hmmmm......you know, from what I've seen/heard/learned, the chapters that "freak out" when a member speaks to a national officer about something they do (and apparently want to 'scare you into silence') is an environment that will allow hazing to grow and prosper. (Not saying that is exactly what's happening with your chapter, but I've heard similar stories from chapters who have some 'bad' secrets they keep)

Let us know what happens.

I was hoping to have the chance to speak to the 2 actives who had been saying these things to the sisterhood chair, sot hat I could apologize if I had overreacted, and to let them know that I was the one to email nationals. I saw one last night when she came to the S.C.'s apt, and she had been crying and very upset. I wasn't counting on thinga happening today that would make it necessary for me to go home for the night, so I hadn't talked to them yet. My roommate (also a pledge) just told me that they've told the whole chapter what happened, and I'm not there to say anything. I even tried to call the others ( we have a SMALL chapter) to let them know before those that were so pissed got to them first. My roommate said I should try to convince them to "keep" me, but I'm not sure that's something I want to do. They seem to find it perfectly acceptable that these things have gone on, and the word from nationals (straight from the constitution) is that they don't handle ANY hazing matters. EVERYTHING is handled locally. Meaning, they can do whatever they want to me at standards. I have the most service hours in the chapter, have attended every meeting, have planned most of the pledge-planned projects, basically worked my tail off. I don't want to depledge less than 2 weeks before activation, but I also want a sisterhood to be proud of. I want to look back as an alumna and say, "I hope my daughter joins my sorority." I don't feel that way now.:( I'm at a loss and I don't really know what to do. I so want to give up and quit, but I don't want all my work to be for nothing.

Crystal

By the way, sorry for the novel I just wrote...:p

question?
 

If you don't want to post here-PM me but EXACTLT what national do you belong to because my little sister is gonna rush next year and I want to make sure she doesn't join any org that lets the "local" group handle hazing. I am assuming you are not in an NPC group b/c I can't imagine international HQ NOT freaking out over this one. If they kick you out- go to the news papser-they love stuff like that. I can see it now..."Anti German sentiments on the Your University Camus in the YYY sorority.....". Don't let them push you around. Also, if they want to de activate your pledgship-find out from the university if that is lega. I know most sosorities can't release you unless you something REALLy bad (dance naked a frat party with money taped your butt and drunk). Talking to an officer about your concerns-not a call for standards unless your group has a oprotcal that dictates such matters and hey-how would you know that? Your not all the way initiatied yet right? Ugg,,,,,,,stupid stupid stupid. I hope things work out for you. Sounds like some crap!

BTW, my email to nationals gave the situation without any specific names or offices. I never used the word hazing, I only asked them how we should handle the situation.

Barring an act of God, I've decided to depledge. Alot really depends on what goes on Sunday night. Bothe of the girls who have been doing the name calling are leaving at the end of the semester, and I think that relationships can be salvaged with the others. I really don't know what to do.

The other members of the pledge class are going to standards meeting as well, mainly as support for me, and so they can have an accurate understanding of what is going on. Thank God for their support.

Another POV
 

Well, to play devil's advocate here, I can see the chapter's POV (although going to the standards board is a big overreaction, I agree).

First, the actions described are not hazing, at least not by the NPC's standards. According to the NPC:

Hazing is defined as any action or situation with or without consent which recklessly, intentionally or unintentionally endangers the mental or physical health or safety of a student, or creates risk of injury, or causes discomfort, embarrassment, harassment or ridicule or which willfully destroys or removes public or private property for the purpose of initiation or admission into or affiliation with, or as a condition for continued membership in a chapter or colony of an NPC member fraternity.

Bad taste and offensive, yes. But unless the SC's continued membership in the GLO was conditioned on her "taking it," it wasn't hazing.

Second, I think I too would be bothered that someone shot off an e-mail without talking to people in the chapter first. An e-mail to national may be making a much bigger deal out of it than it is, and it is bringing in outside folks to what should be a chapter problem.

I would expect a sister to first talk to the SC herself and ask her whether she is bothered/offended/hurt by the comments. If she says that she is bothered, I would encourage her to say so to the sisters in question, and would offer to go with her for support if she wanted. If she did not want to say anything (and if she did not ask me to drop it), then I would say something to the other sisters involved and to no one else, something like "I know you mean it in fun, but it really bothers sister X when you say ___. And how do you think it would sound if someone outside the chapter heard you call her those names?" If that doesn't help, then you follow appropriate channels in the chapter. Only when that doesn't work do you go outside the chapter.

On the other hand, the SC might say she is not bothered by the comments, that she knows they are meant in fun and she takes them that way. If that is the case, then you have to decide whether to let it go or whether to say something to the "offending sisters" anyway, along the lines of "SC knows you mean it in fun, you know you mean it in fun, but someone who doesn't know that might overhear you and form a bad opinion of this chapter based on that."

The bottom line is always start with the specific people involved and work your way out from them slowly when necessary.

Meanwhile MTSUGURL, I hope you will think long and hard before you depledge. It sounds like you really like and care for most of your sisters. Use this as a learning experience and work on strengthening the bonds of sisterhood in your chapter. Good luck! ;)

This I totally understand, and realize where I was wrong. I should have asked her first if I was thinking of emailing NEB. I've apologized very sincerely, admitted to being wrong, and see where she is completely justified in being upset over my not asking. According to our constitution, (we're not NPC), this situation is hazing, but only if the SC were to report it herself.

Yes, I love these girls and care about them a great deal - I love the organization. My reasons for depledging aren't just this situation, but this is the final straw.

Well, standards board meets tonight, and I have no clue what's going to happen. THe SC isn't upset with me anymore, but I'm still going. I still have no idea whether I will actually depledge or not - I'm waiting until after I go tonight to decide. I really just don't want to decide while I'm upset. I've talked to the SC and one other active once this week, but other than that, I haven't talked to anyone in the sorority. That really hurts, because I had gotten pretty close to alot of them. I'll give you an update later tonight. Thanks for the support!

I just came across this thread today and find it interesting to say the least. I really hope things work out well for you and you find what you are looking for in a sisterhood.

Good luck with your meeting with the standards board. I hope it all turns out ok for you!

They didn't punish me or anything, but I think it was more of a "we want to do something to you and legally we can't" than "we don't want to do anything". At least 2 others had wanted to kick me out. 3 of the actives are still speaking to me. They said they're going to go ahead and activate me, and I told the other pledges I'd give it one more semester before I left to see what kind of pledges we got in, and see what it's like after the 2 that have been causing the problems leave. I'm still really disappointed with the group in general, but I think it's possible for my pledge class to change things.

Crystal