Urgent situation - - need suggestions ASAP!!
 

Alright..This may be a little long, but I'd like to give the proper background..

I live in a house with five other girls. The newest girl just moved in like a week ago, even though she's not technically moved in yet. She signed the lease but hasn't moved all her stuff here yet, she just sleeps on the couch. We'll call her Daisy (why?? I'm not sure..).

Okay, so everything is gravy....We meet Daisy. She seems nice enough, if not trying to fit in a little too hard.. She's younger than us (the youngest of us have been out of high school for two years now) and she just graduated a few months ago. She was going to sign the lease and we had no major objections, so.. you guessed it, Daisy is the newest addition to our house.

For a few days everything is ok, besides the fact that she's annoying beyond belief and NEVER BATHES (she's been here for over a week, almost two, and has taken TWO, count them TWO, showers to date). Don't want to be mean to the poor girl, after all she is just trying to fit in. So I try to incorporate her into my day, maybe help her settle into the house better. We went to the bank, the post office, campus, came home, went to work (I got her a job at the place I work...See, I've been trying my damndest to help her out and be nice, but no more..) and then came home.

This is where all the drama starts...

*BAM* Ten dollars missing out of my wallet. I only had $30 in cash (a $20 and a $10)...No one but Daisy knew I went to the bank, no one but Daisy knew I had money, and no one but Daisy saw where I put it when I got it.

Hmm...

Well, night before, I was getting something out of the freezer and one of my other roommies has some clear alcohol in an applejuice bottle.. It was "chinese firewater" or something. Well Daisy see's it in the freezer and asks why it isn't frozen (it looks like water). We explained to her that it was alcohol and she still said "Oh, ok, well why isn't it frozen??". Yes, she didn't know alcohol doesn't freeze. Fast forward a day or two - - Another roommie (We'll call her Carmen) had some Malibu rum. She was going to drink it and what does she find?? It's in the freezer.. FROZEN...Because someone had drank some and filled it back up with water.

Hmm...

Okay well since Daisy hasn't brought any of her stuff down other than clothes, she hasn't really 'moved in'. Just so happens that Daisy LOVES Carmen's room, and Carmen has always wanted the room that Daisy is supposed to move into. Well, they trade. Carmen moves all her stuff into what's supposed to be Daisy's new room. She accidentally left like two bottles of Febreeze and a change jar in her old room. Daisy is painting something in what is to be her new room. She's in there all night. You guessed it.. 2/3 of the change in Carmen's change jar... Gone.

Yesterday- - We were showing the house to a group of six people that want to rent it next year. They're upstairs looking at Mandi's room (Mandi was the one showing them around the house) and Daisy goes up too. Mandi also has a change jar in her room with some dollar bills in it as well, that she caught Daisy eyeballing. Daisy makes her way to that side of the room and is scoping it out. They're finished looking at the room and leaving to come back downstairs and Mandi's like "Daisy, c'mon, lets go.. out of my room".. And Daisy says "oh.. Um...I'll be down in a minute". And Mandi says "no, I don't like people in my room when I'm not in here, let's go".. Daisy says "oh ok, I was just looking at your CDs" and leaves.

Tonight...Kelly's parents are in town from out of state.. They make dinner for us, show us family video, all kinds of stuff.. Had a good time... Well Kelly's mom left her wallet out on the counter for like ...I don't know how long...Well she had $8 in her wallet... You guessed, she now has no cash.

Of course none of us really KNOW Daisy, but we also don't know what exactly to do.. Point the finger?? Set up a camera?? House meeting??

Thoughts?? Suggestions?? HELP!!!

I lived with a Daisy type once. Actually, she was more Single White Female without the murderous tendencies. :rolleyes:

Discuss the situation with the other roomies. In my experience, it doesn't get better, only worse. Don't let her move in or you will be subjected to this type of behavior for the length of the lease. You know how you feel now after barely two weeks. Imagine how you will feel in a few months. There is no reasoning with a person like "Daisy" so I wouldn't even try if I were you. I went through it myself, and I wish that I had moved out or had thrown her out of our home.

As for the lease, find a new person to take over her room. Your landlord can't force you to live with someone who steals and is a source of other problems. She will be a bad roommate as well as a bad tennant. Good luck!

Get everyone to confront her. She might be upset and hurt but she wil be more paranoid to try it again.

I agree with Cream. Don't let her move in! You and your other roommates should tell her what the deal is, and that she is no longer welcome to move into your place. I don't think that talking to her would do any good -- if she's so wack that she'd be stealing your stuff already, no amount of talking to her is going to make it any better.

Maybe you are just imagining things? I mean the girl has gone out of her way to steal all of 25 dollars, the price of a fast food lunch.

Maybe one of your other roomies are framing her?
But if you really think she is stealing you will have to not let her move in, you may have to reeimburse her the money though if the landlord isn't up for it.

I think you should kick her ass.

Where I'm from, violence is the answer to everything. I bet she never steals anymore from yall after your four girls beat her up.

imthechump, I do know where you are from, but get you head out of your rectoidal area!

Violence, just what the helll we need more of! NOT!

Get out of the Kid range and work on becoming an Adult at least partly!





If YOU can Prove theft, then dump her ass ASAP!

She sounds like a sponge of alien magnatude!

You dump her and no extra income, then you all pick up the xtra on the rent! Simple!:cool:

Your decision!;)

hey hon! you saw my instant message, but i do have a couple of other things to say.
i knew someone like that not too long ago. she's now homeless on the streets, but that's a whole long story. anyhow, she stole money from everyone she "befriended". she would basically con people into thinking she was this really nice fun person, then start stealing money or whatever else she could get her grubby hands on, and finally start telling lies about the person to anyone who would listen. she's now wanted by the cops.
i do suggest that if this persists, call the cops. file a report. take her to small claims court. if you can get proof that she is stealing then all the better. don't play around with this $h!t. like everyone else said, it will only get worse.

shelley j
sigma k

ps - i'm wondering if this is the same person that i know. instant messenge me when this stuff happens hon!

I'm sorry Tom Earp, but your post made no sense.

Yeah, you eventually get used to it. It's not going to stop because people actually defend it :rolleyes:

How did she become a roommate if no one really knows her? Was it like an ad in the paper that she became a roomie?

Here's the thing. I'd put locks on everyone's bedroom doors and have a house meeting about rules. My old roommies and I had a policy that if you eat it and it's not yours you replace it...if you want something though ASK. And of course make some ground rules for the tidiness of the house and party rules too.

I'd be sketchy too, but ulitmately it's up to the old roomies and yourself if this DAISY character should be allowed to stay.

But seriously...get locks on the doors. MUCH easier and better for everyone's safety (that way no one else could be blamed!

KLEPTO!

I knew a girl like this. She would steal anything if it wasn't nailed down, even stupid things like pencils and such, and when she wasn't stealing, she was lying about it. If I was in your situation, I would try to get rid of her now, as it might be easier now then later, and when things are worse and she knows where you hide all of your stuff. If you confront her, it probably won't do much good, she'll probably lie about it.

If you don't manage to get her out, then get locks and document when things are taken/missing etc... call the police if she doesn't stop the stealing.

It was online, it was through www.roommateservice.com ...But I can't knock it, because that's how I found this place too. Even if she had found us some other way and we didn't know her, we still probably would've had to let her in because we had no reason not to.

We already have locks on all the bedroom doors, and we've been using them. It just pisses me off that I can't go three blocks down the street to get a gallon of milk without worrying about someone snatching my $h!t. It's ridiculous.

Anyhow, nothing else has happened since Kelly's mom's wallet.. Daisy wanted me to ride with her home from work yesterday. Even though we both drove...She was going to the grocery store to cash her paycheck (she hasn't opened any accounts down here yet) and wanted me to go with her. I was like Dude, Daisy, Why would I ride with you to the store and then home and leave my car at work when I'm not even going to cash my check until Monday? And she was all like "Well I was going to cash my check so I figured you could too, with me". Wierdo.. Anyway...I've got to go geat ready for work..on a Sunday..*Sigh*

Edited to add: We are having a house meeting, but not until Weds whenever everyone is around. Right now is fall break for Ball State and a couple of the roommies aren't even in this state. But yes, everyone knows about all of it.. We just have to discuss what we're going to do about it.

When I moved to Austin I left my roommate to find another and she placed an ad online too and got a few responces.

I know I've told this story before, but it applies here too...she ended up getting this roommate that was fine at first but then a hundred dollars came up missing in her wallet (not smart on my old roommate's behalf).

Then in the middle of the night the girl packed up her stuff and moved out. My old roommate was devistated because she was stuck with rent she couldn't afford and so she had to break her lease!

You're lucky that at least you have mulitple roommates, but still...it's scary! Be careful!

Yes. And if people are lax about locking their doors and stuff gets stolen, they have no one to blame but themselves.

true, but do you believe that people should HAVE to have locks on their bedroom doors?? i think not

Update - - Daisy II
 

Well... All of a sudden there's more going on with Daisy...

Long story short, Daisy has been out of town for the holidays. Her TV has a stupid timer on it that turns on and off whenever it wants to.. Well her tv turned on while she was gone and we called her to see if we could go in and turn it off (I have a key to her room) and she said yes...So before all this is said, YES, we had permission to be in her room.

That said, these are somethings we saw/found in her room:

*A friend of mine's paycheck that I had been holding for her (that I thought I had lost) that had been opened.

*A notebook of mine

*Another roommate's team sport schedule, itinerary, and phone list (with names, addresses, phone numbers, emails, etc)

*The aforementioned roommate's diary

*Another roommates pictures that Daisy had taken out of her photo album

*Other people's mail that she had opened, all of which were people that lived here like last year that don't live here now but still come over because they're friends (might I add - - One of them was a pre-approved cell phone..One was something that looked like a check when it was in the envelope..And one of them was a packet from Kay jewelers...)

And last but certainly NOT least...

*This stankin' bitch had a pair of MY underwear on her dresser... And not only were they mine, they were from my dirty clothes pile.. That's right, she had a pair of my DIRTY underwear on her dresser... Is that not sickening?


Well, needless to say, we've had enough. Especially since my rent is going to be late this month because she wrote me a bad check that made me bounce one of my checks. All this isn't even touching on the fact that we have to deal with collection agencies and businesses and people coming to the house for her for all the bad checks she's written (I'll just say twelve thousand dollars) and we're sick of having to deal with it. All that said, I didn't even mention the fact that she wont clean her bedroom and it is currently violating multiple terms of our lease agreement and state health and sanitary codes.

We're all having a house meeting tonight (without her) and we're definately going to confront her. I guess my question is, do you guys have ANY suggestions as to how we should do it? Confront her about the stuff of ours in her room?? Wait and clean the house and then call the landlords to see her room and get her kicked out that way?? I've even been told that we should make and anonymous phone call from a pay phone to the cops to tell them about the bad checks.. I don't know, we don't know, what we should do!!

Again, HELP!!!!!

Give her a taste of her own medicine
 

Start ganking her sh*t.

Sorry to hear this. :(

Most importantly, document *everything*. Take lots of pictures. Keep everything someplace she can't get at it (a friend's house, a safe deposit box, whatever).

You do need to find a way to get her evicted. The only things I can think of offhand are either to get the police involved (not sure if they can help, but maybe they can charge her with theft/larceny) or to document the condition of her room and bring in the landlord and the health inspector (particularly if there are vermin - if you do that, though, document the clean condition of the rest of the house so it's clear that it's just her).

Do you think she may become violent if confronted? If so, you'll want to talk to her in a public place - and in any case, it should be all of you, not just one of you.

Demand that her next (hopefully final) rent check be a cashier's check or money order, since she's known for writing bad checks.

I don't know if any of this helps, but I hope things work out. Take care. :)

Its so much harder because you are a girl lol.

A guy would be getting his assed kick all over the apartment. In fact he would probably never come back at all if we called him and told him what we found.

Personally I would tell the landlord, call the police and have one come over and document it (without pressing charges) You can file without actually pressing charges you know lol.

And it gives you more credibility.

After you have done that I would call her up and tell her what you have found before she comes home.

The situation going back over the semester makes it seem as if you all have confrontation issue. Meaning you don't like to do it.

If that's true, well you suck lol, but you can always get someone else to do your dirty work for you and call and deal with her even in person.

But honestly, not only is that the height of bad manners, its shows a great deal of personal cowardice lol.

However, it is more important that you get her out of the house at the moment than you overcome a life issue.

After all, you don't want her to get some strange ideas and start acting out her panty sniffing fantasies on you lol ;).

Although, unfortunately, there is probably a more reasonable answer as to why she possess your filthy undies lol.

Have a Happy New Year!

As far as not having said anything in the past, we didn't have to.. As soon as we started talking freely about it around the house, it all stopped and things were fine for the last two months. Bah!

Well DigitalAngel didn't have evidence like this before. I personally don't like to confront unless I know for sure that someone is doing something wrong, especially in a situation as serious as this.

Filing a complaint with police is a good idea. Do it before she gets back. And I would definitely confront her as a group when she gets back.

Unfortunately Daisy got home about three hours after I posted that... We didn't even have time to talk to all the roommates and seeing what they wanted to do... While I agree filling a police report would've been a great thing to do, it'd be kind of hard to do with her home now. Sucks, but we'll have to move one. I don't remember if I mentioned it before, but I took pictures of her room in case she gets wind of the landlords coming over and decides to clean it for the first, last, and only time.

Re: Give her a taste of her own medicine
 

Boy oh boy would I love to... But I wouldn't to stoop to her level.

Wow, this sounds similar to (but definitely worse then) my situation. I would definitely say that confronting her is a good thing to do. I live with 3 other women, 2 of which are older than me. Meaning I'm 21, and the others are 20, 27, and 36. The 36-year-old is the one we're having problems with! I've always been very nonconfrontational, and telling off someone who's 15 years older than you is really hard to do, but I finally did it. She's done things like eat everyone's food, drink everyone's alcohol... stuff like that. And she's the biggest hypocrite ever because she THOUGHT someone ate one of her nutrigrain bars and she flew off the handle! I had half a bottle of expensive wine left and it mysteriously disappeared. I found it, empty, in her room. I also had a full large bottle of Bacardi Limon, and she drank the whole thing during the course of a weekend. Her idea of replacing it was to give me a bottle of $5 champagne :rolleyes: Since I never see her, I wrote her a short note about it, and she apologized. I'm hoping it never happens again. I'm going to have to confront her AGAIN because she left about 20 dirty glasses on the kitchen counter, and they've been there for 2 days now. It wouldn't bother me as much if she hadn't written a 3-page letter to one of my other roommates for leaving ONE dish in the sink for ONE day. And she's also been kinda weird to this same roommate... See, normal roommate answered the phone one night and it was for weirdo roommate. So normal roommate takes the phone down to weirdo's living area and knocks on the outer door (weirdo has the whole basement to herself). There's no answer so normal roommate slowly goes in, then knocks on weirdo's bedroom door. Weirdo says, "Come in" so normal roommate goes in. There's weirdo with her psycho man she keeps sleeping with off and on, and they are both naked without any blankets or anything on them! Apparently weirdo wanted normal roommate to join them! :eek:

Anyway... I always feel that a person can't be expected to change if you never tell them what's wrong. I've been known to let a lot of stuff slide, because usually it's no big deal and usually doesn't happen very often. But some things ARE a big deal (such as everything your roommate has done) and some things happen way too often. It's at these times a confrontation is necessary. Who knows, maybe she'll be so embarrassed that she'll move out :)

Unfortunately, I had to put a lock on my bedroom door back in 1998, after one of my then-housemates, a 6-2 woman, physically attacked me. I never thought that marijuana and whiskey would make one violent. :rolleyes:

The best I've heard thus far was from a GC sister of mine, but she said it on IM:

And I quote..... "You have a psycho beast living in your house" :D

LOL I agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're interested to see if she comes home at all... She hadn't been home for two days so we called her dad....We talked to him and wouldn't give us the number of where she's at, he said he'd call her and tell her to call here.... Surprise surprise, she hasn't called.... Oh well, if she doesn't come back, I don't know too many people that will miss her....

My former housemates had a problem like this before I moved in. They called the landlord and her parents, and she was moved out immediately. They threatened to press charges. A landlord has a responsibility to keep the tennants safe and free from crime. In this case, that meant eviction for the problem housemate. I think that eviction is the best resolution for your house also.

I'm glad you documented everything! If you make an acusation you can't prove, YOU could be the one to suffer. Honestly, I have NEVER heard of ANYTHING this bad!!!:eek:

All kinds of thought ran through my mind like identity theft fo one.

How old is she? That could have a bearng on her parents' responsibility. WHERE IS GREEKLAWGIRL???

If I were you, I would be kind of scared to be in the same apt. with her. She has some very "disturbing behaviors" that are on a level beyond an average person's ability to deal with. You need some help beyond a little "talk".

JAM, Identity theft is actually something that we've thought off.. I'm acctually getting kind of agitated because when everything happened last Monday, everyone was pissed, but now everyone (except for me) is pretty lax about it.... Oh well, the psycho isn't stealing my life, money, happiness, or belongings any more. Like I said, we called her dad last night and he wouldn't give us the number to where she was at...And she never called....she still hasn't been home yet either....It's nice not having here here, but I almost wish she'd come back already so we could confront her.
:(

Edited to add: She's only 19.....
And she got a credit card in the mail today..great...

We may be getting just what we need.... our landlord came to our house today to tell us that Daisy's rent for this month hasn't been paid!!! WOOHOO!!! Let's hope it doesn't get paid, and bye bye Daisy!

Oh wow....Digital, you have a lot on your plate! Please update us on this Daisy thing.....did you kick her out? Anyways, it sounds like where you are living (the physical structure, I mean) is an okay place and you would have no problem finding a friend/someone not crazy who is having problems in the dorms or whatever to fill in. Good luck!

I'm a bit confused - I thought you guys had all signed a lease together, and that you wrote one big rent check each month to cover everyone.

If you're writing separate checks, your landlord should demand that any further checks from her be cashier's checks or money orders. This is pretty standard... part of the rental agreement at my last apartment stated that if a rent check ever bounced, you had to pay by cashier's check from then on (until you moved out). If you're writing one big check, whoever writes the check should ask her for a cashier's check.

You may want to double-check the terms of your lease... you may have to renegotiate it once Daisy is gone. You will probably also have to cover what was her share of the rent until you find a new housemate.

On the up side, now is a good time to find someone - no one wants to move mid-semester.

Who decides who moves in? Is it up to you, your landlord, or both?

Good luck - I hope you get a better housemate this time! :)

Oh Glorious Day!!!!
 

Well, enough was enough... I finally called Daisy's dad myself last night (as opposed to letting my other roommates call him and fumbling for words) and more or less told him that if someone doesn't come get her stuff in the next couple days that it was all going to Goodwill...Apparently that wasn't going to work out for them because Daisy's mom came down today from where she lives to get as much of Daisy's isht as she could... The poor woman, I feel so bad for her.. I don't know what I would do with a chld lilke thy, they seem like they've tried over and over and over to help her....

I also found out how Daisy had money the whole time she lived down here when she was writing bad checks. Apparently she had been writing bad checks to her friends back home and having them deposit them and giving her the cash for them. Real bright, eh?? Oh well...

We also now know where she's staying, though nobody really cares. Apparently she's living with her friend's boyfriend's grandmother. Don't know how that happened....

I can't wait till all of this comes to a head and bites her in the ass, she's screwed over so many people...She owes a month's rent and three months worth of utility bills....

The physical last of this should be Monday when her dad comes down with a trailer to get her furniture, thank gawd. Legally/financially, it could go on forever.... :mad:

I'm glad for you guys, but very worried for "Granny". I hope she doesn't get her claws on any bank records or checks...
She appears to have a criminal mind.

Yeah, one can only hope that Granny has an eye for theifs.. I got more background yesterday from one of Daisy's ex friends.. I guess the whole time she was down here when she always had cash and none of us knew how she had money, I guess she was driving back to where she was from (little over an hour), writing checks to her friends, having them cash them at their banks, and then getting the cash from them. Scandalous bitch!!! LOL Her mom also told me that she is annoyed that Daisy is avoiding her, but she's not surprised... She was telling me about Daisy taking off before she lived with us and disappearing, and about how people would find her living in her car, sleeping in K-mart parking lots and such. Her ex friend also was telling me that things were always missing from their circle of friends where they're from, for years, and they could never figure out who it was even though they had suspected her before... The amount of audacity meets supidity never ceases to amaze me.

Of course this girl has no excuse for any of her actions. She's been a horrible friend, roommate, and terribly irresponsible. Honestly, I think she probably needs derious professional help. I can't think anyone would enjoy behaving this way, or living in her car, for example. I believe she should definitely be held responsible for her actions, but has anyone considered that she may really need help? Not that it's any of your or your friends' job to find it for her, but just something to consider.

I think she needs all the help she can get.. I think she's a klepto and needs help for that... I think she's deviant and needs help for that.. I think she lacks attention in her mind and needs help for that. Not saying none of it is her fault, but the girl does need help. Help or not, youre right, she is still responsible for everything she's done.

She sounds like a LIFETIME MOVIE.