Feel Cheated
 

When I started college I knew nothing about sororities. I'm the first woman in my family to attend college and I had no clue what to really expect. I thought about rush, but then decided to wait. I ended up feeling really lonely that semster because my long time boyfriend who attends the same school had rushed a fraternity and now had less time to spend with me. I really wanted the sisterhood that a sorority brings. So a friend of mine told me about a service sorority that I could join. Well I rushed and the girls all really seemed nice and seemed to like each other. So I joined, but after rush I realized that not only did the girls not like each other they didn't like the sorority in general. There was no sisterhood what so ever.They now say that sisterhood isn't what they're about. Now I feel really cheated because although the service sorority isn't really recognized as a sorority(it's a service organization) And I can join a social sorority I feel like that people will think bad of me for joining the service sorority first. I feel like it will afect the other sororities opinion of me during rush. I really need some opinions on this I really don't know what to do???:confused:

I would not worry about being in a service sorority first, because atleast in what i have experienced sororities like women who are involved with outside things. They will just consider you involved there. Or atleast that is what I have experienced. So I say go for it. You also may want to check if there is continuous open recruitment on your campus, because if it is already in the middle of your semester you still may be able to join a chapter now.

I not even really sure about how to check and see if chapters do open recruitment. The sororities on my campus are
Chi Omega
Alpha Delta Pi
Alpha Omicron Pi
Alpha Gamma Delta
Phi Mu
Kappa Delta
Sigma Kappa
How could I find out.

Find out about recruitment. I see no reason why any sorority would hold it against you. It bodes well of you that you are a member of a service oriented sorority. You have made a commitment to service. Most sororities want that quality in their new members.

The best way to find out is try to contact the Office of Greek Life on your campus. They will be able to put you in contact with the sororities. The other option is to check for any webpages that the chapters might have, because they may give ways through that to contact them.

screw that you should rush!! Don't let them mess with you.

Maybe you all could answer this for me. I heard that as long as I was a pledge that I had to do everything that the sorority did. No matter what, and I'm not really all that comfortable doing a mixer unless it's with my boyfriends fraternity. I mean don't get me wrong. I love fraternity guys. It's just that I'm really not comfortable around drunk guys, and at most of the mixers I know that the guys tend to get really drunk, and I really don't want to put myself in that position. The only reason I'd even go if it was my boyfriend fraternity is he'd be there to watch out for me, and the guys already know where I'm coming from so they're careful around me.(Bad Experience) What could I do about that? Do I have to go or is it optional? I wouldn't want to rush a sorority and then find out that I had to go or I'd be droped.

OPAGirl,

I assume that you go to WKU?
In which case, the sorority page is here:
http://www.wku.edu/Dept/Support/StuA...orrorities.htm

This is good, too:
http://www.wku.edu/Dept/Support/StuA...ssociation.htm
Anyone needing further information concerning rush should contact the Student Activities Office in Downing University Center (745-2459).
You could that number and find out which sororities are doing COB events? If that does not yield fruit, then I would call the houses directly. What can it hurt?

As for your question: Maybe you all could answer this for me. I heard that as long as I was a pledge that I had to do everything that the sorority did.

I noticed that you do not have Delta Gamma at your campus, but here is my take on it. Delta Gamma chapters have certain events that are "anchored" and ones that are not. Events that are anchored, you are not allowed to miss. I assure you that anchored events are things like philanthropy, initiation, chapter meetings, etc. If you are not comfortable fraternizing with men in different fraternities, I think that as long as you are involved in other areas (like intramurals for your sorority, philanthropy, etc.), I don't think that this would be a problem.

I hope that this helped and good luck.

Also just to update you all on the situation with my current service sorority. My little sis came up to me before our meeting tonight and informed me that she went to a service project this weekend and they made her feel so out of place that she finally left and cried all the way home( apparently they were pretty cruel) then during the meeting tonight a few of the girls were making comments about her regarding her weight. Out loud! I mean they were discussing it like it was normal sorority business. Which is so uncalled for since last year she got really sick and had to be put on steriods which is why she gained her weight. I felt so sorry for her. I don't know how much longer I can take them being this cruel to everyone. :(

Thank you so much CutiePie2000. I love the idea of going to philanthropy, initiation, chapter meetings. I think I'd be a great help with a lot of areas since I've already helped the service sorority plan so many events like our Greek and Athlete Auction to benefit cancer. I love to be involved with projects. I just hope that the sororities on my campus see me as beneficial asset.

That is HORRIBLE! That sounds awful!
OpaGirl, please trust what your instincts and inner wisdom is telling you...I would get out!

1) Your experience in a service organization shows your dedication to philanthropy and your experience as a leader!

2) From my experience, no sorority makes mixers mandatory. As CutiePie mentioned about DG, many sororities have a system to clarify what is and is not madatory. For example, Alpha Gam has a Red, Buff, and Green coded system.

3) I am sorry to hear about your lil sis. That is awful and uncalled for! ...Want me to kick their a**? ;)

If you're interested in joining an NPC sorority, go for it! Your membership in your service sorority can only help you. Lots of people do both.

Don't worry about mixers - you won't be required to go to any given mixer. You may be asked to participate in a certain percentage of social events, but those include formals and date parties; this is how my chapter did things. An option to consider with the mixers is just going for the first hour or so, before anyone gets too drunk.

As for your service sorority, I'm sorry that things aren't working out better :( and I hope you can turn things around.

Take care. :)

Hey, actually... one of my sorority (social) sisters had joined a Service Sorority her freshman year... however she found out that it wasn't for her, so she joined my sorority in the spring of her freshman year. As far as I know she was COB (constant open bidding) ... she's a year older than me so I wasnt here when she came in, but she fit in prefectly. She became VP - ID (aka Pledge Mom) and is real active!!

So I'm SURE you will fit in awesomely and you'll have fun doing all the Philanthropy stuff, and date parties (where you will bring your boyfriend :D ) and maybe if you get some really close guy friends (that you trust when they're drunk) they can look out for you if you want to check out the mixers and see what the hype is all about!! Personally, my older brother is in a fraternity at school with me, so when I got there... I automatically had 80 older brothers (oy vey), but it was good because I could count on them to look out for met at different parties.

Good luck with everything.

OPAGAL, I pm'd you.

OK. I checked with the student life office and the only sororities that they have listed as doing COB this semester are Alpha Gamma Delta and Sigma Kappa. I'm suppose to stop by this afternoon and pick up a booklet that has all the sororities in it. What their colors, motto, philanthropy, and cost of dues in it. I'm still not really sure where to go from there? I just can't get the look that my little had on her face out of my mind. I still feel so bad for her.

The booklet will probably include contact information for each sorority's president and/or informal rush chair. Give them a call, express your interest, and ask for their schedule of informal rush events. Then, pick out a few nice outfits, go, and have fun!

Good luck! :)

Get your boyfriend to hook you up. I've witnessed a few girls who were originally GDIs getting acquinted w/ girls through their fraternity boyfriend.

Good luck with COB! Go check it out, and if you don't feel either of those chapters are right for you, rush next semester! And take your little with you too! :D

I just graduated from WKU so I can give you some insight to what OPAGal can experience.

Alpha Gamma Delta and Sigma Kappa are participating in active COBS (actually AGD is having a huge one soon!). The Greek Life office at WKU is not really all that helpful too be honest because they employee greeks who are favorites of the advisor.
That being said, no you don't have to go to mixers or even dances if you don't want to. There are mandatory events, but they are usually all greek events, rush events, etc. Nothing like parties or anything. Sisterhood retreats are a lot of times, but those are things you want to be involved in!!! At AGD I know we have sisters that are in other service sororities and also Delta Omicron. We try to have a diverse group of women. I am sure the same is true for Sigma Kappa.

If you are interested in informal recruitment, let me know. I can give you contact names for both AGD and Sigma Kappa. Although I know I am partial :) you should definitely figure out where your home is. There are wonderful points to each sisterhood at WKU. And I know you don't want to miss out!
Sarah

Hey, I just talked to Dione and she said you can call her. There is a COB event I believe on Wednesday (they are usually around 7) and she said she would come pick you up and you could go with her. If you don't want to go, please please!!! don't feel pressured. You are welcome to, though, and I am sure that my sisters would love to meet someone so anxious to be involved!
Sarah
PS if you need Dione's number just let me know and I can PM you with it.

I suggest you try those COB events and see what those sororities are like. If you like them then that's good but if not then at least you know what its like to some extent and can maybe think about formal recruitment next year with all the sororities. Good luck with everything and just keep your spirits high!

Yes, go and check out that COB events.
And by all means, (discretely) take your sister with you and run, run, as fast as you can!

Thank you guys so much! I never dreamed that I'd get so much help with this. My boyfriend was actually excited to hear I was thinking about it. I'm really nervous though. I don't want to rush into this thing like I did last time. I really want to get to know the girls this time. I'm scared that I'll join and then the girls turn out the same way as the service sorority did. I'm interested in going to COB events though. I'm just curious though ilovemyglo I heard that AGD was dangerously close to losing their charter because of lack of members. Is that true or just a rumor?:confused:
I'm really excited though.:D

Ok. I need some serious help I have no clue what I should wear! I want to make a good impression, but I have to work tomorrow and if the event is tomorrow night I'm really stressed for time. Help???:eek:

best of luck with cob opagal! cob events are usually much more casual than formal rush? what is the activity? i am also glad that you are checking into those campus rumors. every year for the last 10 years, this has been happening to my chapter. girls go through rush and say, i really like the girls, but i heard they are going to lose their charter! funny thing is that it was not true. sadly, sometimes, other groups on campus make that up and it is totally not cool. even if a chapter is about to loose its charter, they aren't going to announce that through the campus grapevine. and the other thing about joining a small sorority is that you can make it whatever you want. if you bring your lil sis from your service sorority along....and she brings someone...etc.....in no time, you will be a big group. just my two cents on that! enjoy cob! it is the time to get to know the sisters in a more real way. there fluff and rush of formal rush just isn't there. keep us posted on the parties.

OPA --- I seriously doubt Alpha Gamma Delta IHQ would put out a press release without first informing their own chapter!

A giant oak has to start from a small acorn....gotta have room for all those new baby squirrels!!

:D

Good Luck!

COB is actually a great way to mmeet the members in a more relaxed atmosphere and do things at the speed you're comfortable with. I hope that from the earlier posts that you know that the mixers are not a required thing, at least not with any I'm familiar with.

I hope that things go well and you can find the sisterhood you're looking for! There's truly nothing like it!

Okay, I am going to be really blunt with this post cause what OPAGal heard is really ticking me off...
A certain other sorority on campus that is constantly in competition with us for members is telling girls that we are losing our charter or that our membership is so low we are going to... THIS IS NOT TRUE!!!! That chapter, to be exact, actually has barely more members than we do. Not only that, during formal recruitment they took 29 through matching but only 11 decided to pledge the rest chose to drop. They had another chapter come in, conduct their rush and then leave. Now they spread rumors about my chapter. THis really pisses me off because #1 It is a lie and #2 when they were really low in members and were on probation (I was really close with their president) we tried to helpthem because we were doing so much better than they were. Now they are talking all kinds of trash about us. How rude!!! At least I can say my sisters are selective in who they bid, this chapter LITERALLY gives bids to any girl that COBs unless a sister will turn in her badge if the girl pledges (again, their president told me this!) SO..... NO AGD IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE and another reason that chapter is mad at us is because we have two houses, they made an offer to buy one and we said no flat out. They are losing their house because the guy they rent from doesn't want a sorority in his house anymore.

Okay, done with rant. Sorry, but it is just a lie... flat out!

Hey ilovemyglo did you get my pm? I'm glad to hear that you all aren't going anywhere. What's bad is the sorority you're referring to is so obvious in what they're doing too. They're doing homecoming with my boyfriend's fraternity and I'm sure that's where he heard that rumor from. It's sad that they feel they have to do that. This summer I actually went to Florida with one of your girls Nicole she's really sweet. I'm just so nervous. I'm usually a really laid back person,but I'm afraid I'll screw something up. I'm still not sure what to wear either?

Hey, I pmed you back!! Yeah I heard about it and my friend that was president is alum too and she is sick over it. I think I am going to write their current president a letter knowing that they need to tell their members to stop!!! IT is really sad!!
As for what to wear, just be comfortable!! Khakis and a shirt, nothing big like formal rush. Nicole is my great grandlittle!! My little is Dione, her little is Megan and then comes Nicole!! HAHA!! I love her! She is the sweetest!!! I know I have had to have met you!! I know too many of your boyfriend's fraternity brothers! Hey, you can check out our website www.geocities.com/squirrels_pearls it always has some fun stuff and you can see if you know any other sisters (I am sure you do!)
Have fun!
Sarah

Sorry to interrupt -- but I just want to mention how much I love seeing posts like this! I think it's so cool how Greekchat.com can open up lines of communication and get information out to girls who wouldn't otherwise have access to it.

OPAgal -- I'm so glad you've decided to rush, and I hope you find your home! I'm sure you'll have a much better time than you're having in your current organization . . . and I hope your little sis finds something better too. It's ridiculous that she (and you) would have to put up with that.

Thanks
 

Thanks Sugar and Spice. I hope I find my home too!:)

Hi OPAGirl,
I hope that you check out Alpha Gamma Delta and Sigma Kappa.
There is no harm in having a look and see at their COB functions.
Perhaps you will find your new home in one of those groups?

And if it should be that neither group feels quite right, don't feel that you have to endure the terrible treatment in your current GLO--definitely look into formal recruitment next fall...

But...I have a good feeling about this COB business! :D
Crossing my fingers for you! :D

Good Luck! :)

Good luck OPAGal... perhaps you and your sister can find your home at AGD or SK, if not there is always formal recruitment. I hope you like my sisters as much as I do, even if they are not the home for you.
Sarah

This is so awesome that GC is such a small world!

I also just found the Sigma Kappa chapter at WKU too:
http://www.byzant.com/sigmakappawku/

OPA Girl,
Please let us know how it all turns out for you!

I would hate to see OPA lose you, but if this is how your chapter treats its sisters, I don't really blame you. Good luck with rush, and I want you to know that you and your little are in my thoughts. I have a favorite of the 2 groups, so my fingers are crossed for you!!!

Aren't you the girl that sent me a really mean and nasty PM bitching me out for giving advice to someone that was unhappy with her sorority a few weeks after I disassociated from OPA?

Now YOU know exactly what I was talking about regarding the balance of sisterhood in OPA.

HOWEVER...

At least when I was unhappy with the sorority I didn't slam them telling the whole GC boards personal chapter stuff and drama.

As for rushing panhellenic while still in OPA...

I'd think twice before doing that if I were you. Just from my experience...


:rolleyes:

Ok. The event tonight is a new auction. "Trick us into being your treat" I spoke with one of the girls and like her unfortunately I will be unable to attend. I have two major test tomorrow that my professor just decided to drop us an email and tell us about. They will affect our grades by at least two letters. :( But they told me that they will be having more events this semster and will call me with the dates. Sigma Kappa has their rush I think next semester. I know thats usually when they do their COB events. They're really only giving bids now to girls that they know really well (friends) but thats ok because I haven't given up hope, and my boyfriend is being really supportive of me through this. Just like all of you. Thank you all so much!I'll keep you updated on events. And if I have any other problems with my service sorority. Which I'm sure I will have since I was already approached today by a member asking me if I was rushing soical. She didn't seem to happy,but that was to be expected.

Shine
 

No that wasn't me actually it was one of my the other members using my sign in info. while she was hanging out in my room. Sorry she was nasty I actually didn't know she'd done that until recently. And as for me posting this I thought if you needed help with something this was the place to come for it. And that's exactly what I did asked for help. Which everyone else has so graciously offered, but I am interested in know why you think I shouldn't rush panhellenic while still in OPA.:(