On a rollercoaster
 

Forewarning: I'm going to emote and sob here so I can Panhellenically support my Rosebud next year.

For years YEARS my only child has been telling me she plans to attend the in-state rival of my alma mater. Most of my extended family attended InState Rival U and I stayed nice and neutral and comforted myself that she could still possibly be my Sister if she ended up pledging Alpha Gam there. I honestly think she also wanted to push my buttons just a little bit by saying she was not interested in my alma mater. Whatever. I supported her dream. There was no point in getting excited yet. She has Tshirts and posters and a giant FLAG in her room all declaring her love for InState Rival U.

But now. NOW! as a junior in high school, she has decided she doesn't want to go to InState Rival U either. Her first choice is now her father's alma mater, because it is 2 hours closer to home (even though she says regularly she can't wait to leave home) and because their marching band does not require auditions. BUT THERE'S NO ALPHA GAM THERE.

I know it's a year away. And it's not my journey. And things could still change many times. But it's getting harder to keep my poker face.

Thank you for listening.

Well, she can always do what you did and initiate as an alum.

Well I guess she COULD but maybe she will want to have the full sorority experience. I certainly want her to have a home-away-from-home. That might be the marching band, but who knows? At Dads Alma Mater the NPC participation is only 5%, while at InState Rival U it is 22%. Maybe sorority life won't matter as much at Dads Alma Mater. Maybe she'll decide she wants nothing to do with it either as an undergraduate or an alum... although I think that's unlikely, given how much of a "joiner" she is.

I was sad when my daughter went to a school without Alpha Gam but it did make recruitment a lot less stressful for both of us, I think. The hurt of an Alpha Gam chapter not selecting your daughter or of your daughter not liking the Alpha Gam chapter is really tough. If they go somewhere without a chapter, that's not a potential stressor. My daughter ended up being a very happy Alpha Chi Omega. It's definitely harder to find lyres than squirrels though.

Same situation as AGDee...my daughter has had a great experience as a Pi Phi.

Thanks for your kind words. I sat across from an Alpha Phi and her Phi Mu daughter at the Panhellenic luncheon yesterday. I know in my head it will all be ok.

Meanwhile I’m schooling my daughter on the fine art of curating your Instagram to be interview/recruitment ready.

???
If the OP is an initiated Alpha Gam she can't initiate into a different sorority.

OP, I understand. My daughter went to my alma mater but my chapter was no longer there. She pledged and had a wonderful time with her new sisters.
It will be OK.

@AnchorAlumna - I'm an Alpha Gam in the same alumnae Chapter as @UVASquirrel. I'm a legacy, and I attended a different university than most of my family - one that does not have an Alpha Gam chapter. I felt a strong connection to the women in my mother's AGD alumnae chapter, and after graduation was initiated at convention. I was involved enough in other activities on campus that I still had a "home" while I was in school, so I was OK.

I know it's an age-old situation, and many of the active posters have a variety of GLOs in their families, so I know she'll be OK, too. I do still think I will grieve a little even knowing she's happy.

Seven of my daughters pledged but none of them went Pi Phi because they all attended schools without it. They're in 4 other groups and they enjoyed themselves. I was sad not to share sisterhood but maybe a granddaughter in 5 years will go Pi Phi? I don't know if I care anymore...the organization has gotten bizarre.

I can definitely understand feelings of the "Organization has gotten bizarre", my father is a brother of Zeta Beta Tau and was *glad* that I didn't have the opportunity to join it at my school. (Carnegie Mellon expelled them in 1984, I got there in 1986) given the addition in 1989 of the Semi-Annual Brotherhood Review Vote (along with removal of pledging).

Growing up, my daughter always told me she wanted to be a Kappa Delta. Her godmother is one of my pledge sisters. I was so excited when she attended a school that had a KD chapter so she could become my sister, but alas, she refused to go through recruitment. Today, my only grandchild is a 7 month old boy so no legacy on the horizon.

DaffyKD

Ok we have just finished our last planned college visit and the preferences have been updated:

Tied in first place:
Dads Alma Mater (12 NPC, 10 with houses, 2 without)
InState Rival U (soooo many orgs, all housed, legacy)

Middle choices:
Moms Alma Mater (sooooo many orgs, all housed, probably won’t get in realistically)
Dark Horse State (out of nowhere! Wasn’t even considering it! 7 NPC, no housing)

Safety options:
TooFarAway U (too small, 4 NPC, legacy, not sure about housing? They used to have chapter-designated dorm housing but they tore those buildings down and have not reinstated sorority floors elsewhere on campus yet.)
Hometown U (too close to home, 10 NPC, chapter-designated dorm housing)
BadWifi State (seriously, that was her main complaint. Also small, 6 NPC, no housing)

So there is still a chance :)

What I learned is that it's great if your kid goes to a school that has unhoused or dorm chapters! Only one of ours went to a school where there was a large house and it was very expensive. Then we had 3 go to a school with no sorority housing and no dedicated chapter space, 2 who went to schools with sorority halls in a dorm, and 1 who attended a school whose housing was only for officers plus they had large areas for meetings. I prefer the last option and the next to last one (that was also what we did at Auburn).

Yes, my pocketbook also thinks it’s a good idea. I think unhoused or designated dorm space makes GLO life more accessible to a wider variety of women so I am in favor of that. I also think that makes it easier for smaller orgs or chapters in a slump to stay competitive. I hadn’t heard of officer-only housing though! Another good option.

That was Georgia Southern--there's a Greek Row and all the sororities have houses but only about 16 women sleep in each one. Birmingham Southern does something similar.

That was also the case at Vanderbilt. I think only 5-6 officers and a house director lived in each sorority house when my friend was a member there. I don't know if things have changed more recently.

Do organizations with officer-only housing have a kitchen and a meal plan?

Typically they would all have kitchens. I would think meal plan would vary based on each campus chapter. But, I would assume that the kitchen in the smaller houses would mainly be there for the women who live in the house to use on their own - breakfast, lunch, etc. I doubt they'd have a cook/chef and the space to cook for the entire chapter. But, I could be wrong.

Southern had kitchens.

What an exciting time for you and your family! Best of luck to your daughter as she makes her decision.

At Vanderbilt, kitchens but no meal plan.

After I graduated my uni was going to start a dorm living community for anyone who was in a greek org and gave priority for those who wanted to live with their sisters/brothers. For places that sadly still have laws for greek houses (and I did read the brothel thread), it seemed like a good option, especially since they were going to do projects and such with the entire greek community, which could only bring good.

And for Squirrel, I can understand being unable to share a legacy and sisterhood with your rosebud. I assume my dad went through the same when my brother attended a college that had his org but he decided to go with another that he found his home in. But he shared his happiness that my brother found a home, which my middle brother would later be welcomed into with open arms as an in house legacy. Let's hope she has an amazing recruitment and finds her home, wherever she fits!

Well, my friends, she decided:
Dads Alma Mater with no Alpha Gam chapter, but with very high scores on her career goal certification exam, and a marching band that welcomes all with no audition.

Don’t mind me I’ll just be weeping in the corner. Gonna get it out of my system and then I will cheer her on loudly during recruitment next fall. At least this way I don’t have to worry about whether or not she likes my Sisters… or even worse, whether they like her

I can imagine what you are feeling. My girls (twins) preffed ZTA but ultimately chose another group. For a brief moment, I could see the three of us being sisters, but it was not to be.
Their new Chi Omega sisters ended up being my friends still to this day and they all pledged in 2006.
It is so hard to believe that much time has passed.

I miss those days so much even though I am a grandmother now.
Cherish this time with Rosebud!

Some fall activities, band, cheer, fall sports, don’t allow their members to rush in the fall when they are busy with those activities. Your daughter needs to find out if those restrictions apply at her intended school.

TY FSUZeta. The band director did say flat-out “can’t play and rush” during our tour and I thought “surely he’s exaggerating” but maybe he was serious.

The cheer coach at Southern used to say that and still does but nowadays, some cheerleaders go Greek anyway. I can't believe that some coaches/sponsors still get away with that.

I would be very surprised if ALL of the organizations pass on the chance for cheerleaders, musicians and athletes. She might have fewer options during informal but I am optimistic that she would still be able to find a home. Fingers crossed

That's how it is at Auburn. At least, that's what happened with my pastor's daughter. She couldn't rush because of band and got her bid through informal.