These Black Sorority Members Are Speaking Out Against The Racism They Faced…
 

These Black Sorority Members Are Speaking Out Against The Racism They Faced In Their Chapters

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article...-in-sororities

After Black Lives Matter protests broke out across the country, sororities promised to do better for their Black members. But many believe the sentiments are hollow.


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Sadly, I can't say I'm surprised by the experiences of these women. I give them so much credit for speaking out about their experiences because without awareness of these issues we can't intact change. But it shows that still so much more needs to be done, even before these women get to college.

Before they get to college, we must demonstrate (not just "present") the value of NPC membership.

Once they pledge, though, they have a responsibility to start conversations if something bothers them. If they fail to mention it, and just resign, or complain later, is counterproductive. True growth doesn't come from "This bothers me; don't do it" but from "Here's how I perceive that, and it hurts me" that will lead to a possible behavior change on all sides.

I and a number of my long-time alumnae friends (most of 20-50 years' membership) are tired of "You have to change to suit me - End of Story" that the NPC language and process changes are pushing.

^^^ this

I'll probably come back to this post, but the onus shouldn't be on the women who are being racially targeted. I guarantee you that there are women in those houses that didn't agree with the negative views, but stayed silent. Those are the women that need to speak up and be true sisters and allies. The women being targeted likely felt like they would face further repercussions for speaking out, because it has and does still happen.

I agree. We don't expect abused children to out their abusers, we expect rational adults to notice signs and report it. There are even some people who are mandatory reporters. If a man sexually harasses a woman openly in a meeting at work, the woman shouldn't have to be the one to call them out. If any sorority sister is doing something racist, it's up to ALL sisters to call them out, not the one who is targeted. Just like with hazing, if you know it's happening and don't stand up against it, you're an accomplice to it. We have to do better.

It does happen but this is like marriages. I know of several marriages that had almost broken down before one partner or the other came out with a concern or complaint and the other one had no idea there was a problem. Women need to learn to speak up on all issues.

We're not talking about children here. We're talking about adults, and those who wish to be treated as such.

I wonder if NPC groups will still be all in on DEI if Awesome Alpha happens to take a pledge class that is majority WOC (on a campus where that’s a new thing) and their numbers plummet, leaving them up to their nips in debt with a half-filled house. Will Alpha Nationals stick behind this chapter - who after all is doing exactly what they’ve been told they should do - or will they close them due to lack of members?

I certainly hope it would be the former, but I stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny quite a while ago.

Why would a pledge class with a lot of WOC cause numbers to plummet?

Is that a "thing" on some colleges? To label a GLO as the "ethnic house" that no one wants? I have a difficult time understanding because I'm from Southern California. Seeing a lot of WOC in a pledge class here is not unusual.

Thank you. I had a hard time following what was being argued there.

Also, did some people here not read the article?

The burden should 100% be put on WOC? Is that what we're really saying? Because that's what it sounds like.

We don't want DEI training, and we don't want to change how we operate, and we want to put the burden completely on WOC. And then we're going to be annoyed when they resign and don't put in any hard work?

Pleeeeaaaaase tell me that we all see the irony in that.

I imagine any chapter labeled as the "ethnic house" may be rejected as "too different" and/or "unacceptable" by the closed-minded students/PNMs doing the labeling.

It brings to mind my campus decades ago, when one sorority chapter after another closed after becoming THE house that ended up with the most Jewish pledges (even though these chapters were not of Jewish origin nationally).

And from various postings on that site, I gather it still occurs that chapters full of awkward/unattractive/unusual women are often rejected by closed-minded students/pnms, causing said chapters to dwindle in size and close.

Could not disagree with you more. It is NOT the responsibility of a black (or any non-white) new member to educate the entire chapter on why it’s racist and disrespectful to give her a “token black girl” award, to use the n-word or other racial slurs, to dress in black face, etc. Just using examples the women interviewed cited from their sorority experiences. Really? It’s THEIR fault for having to address the fact that being called “that black girl” or “n-word” bothers hurt, hurts her, and makes her feel excluded and unwanted as a member?? You’re blaming the victim?!

How about chapters need to be including diversity & inclusion programming every single semester so that all sisters are aware of their own biases and possible racist behavior / thoughts, so that they can not only be good citizens of the world, but allies to all women - especially any women of color in their chapter or who may pledge in their future. I am not calling all sorority women racist - not at all. Many thousands of allies are in houses and alumnae groups all over the country, they need to stand strong with courage and demand appropriate programming and education and model what it is to be an ally.

You and your 20-50+ year alumnae friends need to take a hard look in the mirror at yourselves if you’re the ones actively campaigning against diversity & inclusion initiatives. I know I see the comments on DG’s Facebook page. If you are engaging in the sort of racist behavior shown to the women in this article, then yes YOU DO NEED TO CHANGE TO SUIT THEM.

Adults need to learn to speak up My daughters and I talked a lot about the racism and sexism they would face when they went to college. I told them it's not right to not speak up and then suddenly go raving to the media years later.

^^This^^ Also I just want to elaborate on my response this behavior doesn't happen in a vacuum of sorority life, and there is a need for DEI on college campuses, I think too more of these difficult discussions need to happen before these students get to college.

Even though some posters on this thread might be upset these women are airing their grievances to the media, while this might be a small group I am sure there are plenty of others who have had negative experiences. The bottom line is there is so much room to make changes and provide a safe and welcoming experience for every member.

Agreed.

What I see is that some are reacting not to the content of the DEI messages but to the transmission of those messages they perceive to have overtaken everything else in their sorority experience.

What's a real tragedy is that we got to 2021 before anyone woke up.

Again, just using the example in the article: what would you tell your {black} daughter to do if her Chapter President gave her the “token black girl” Award in front of the entire chapter? Who exactly would you tell he to speak up to????

I don’t blame that member one iota for quitting and going to the press. Giving out an award like that would confirm every fear she probably had about why she got a bid from that chapter.

Respectfully, it was attempted to be addressed by a couple of the women in the article. Here:



In another example given in the article, a [white] member heard another saying something inappropriate. She says she spoke up to her chapter/board and nothing was done. Here:



I can understand the pushback on DEI as going through change is uncomfortable. I understand that many feel that some of the new policies (legacy consideration removed, rec letters eliminated) have gone too far. I can understand that the lack of consideration for alumnae voices when adjusting those policies caused a lot of hurt and anger. I can understand why some members might feel irritated that their HQs are issuing "word salad" statements that are seen as performative at best. Understandable.

Though, I think we would benefit from separating the various aspects that comprise DEI and not lump the whole thing together. As a white conservative woman myself, I cannot wholesale dismiss the experiences of my sisters who say that they felt marginalized and can cite specific examples or events and even show proof in writing. Ok, I get that we might be mad about legacy status being taken away etc; but, surely none of us are going to endorse that it's ok to call a sister "token black girl" or to call others "porch monkeys". Right?

I would hope she’d feel comfortable enough with her sisters that she would have stood up and said “are you f&#%ing even kidding me?”

And if she didn’t, I would hope there was someone else in the chapter who would have realized how messed up that was who would.

I know this might seem picayune, but I wonder if these “awards” were voted on by the whole chapter or just made up by one person. What kind of awards did the rest of the chapter members get?

I also wonder how large these chapters are and if the women all even know each other’s names.

I would not expect someone that may have just joined to feel that comfortable with her sisters, at least I would not be.

I didn’t see anything that said she had just joined when the “award” occurred.

And of course, this is the problem with Buzzfeed. They pick out the most shocking parts of something and are way short on the context.

I can't imagine any circumstances where it ought to be the black person's job to educate others that calling her a "token" is insulting. If she wants to speak up about it, fine. But I don't see the parallel to a spouse's annoying habit that they couldn't know was a problem unless they were told. Calling someone a token is objectively wrong. All young adults can and should know that it's wrong.

It is, then, not incumbent on me, a white woman, to take responsibility for noting when another assumes I'm a racist bitch and insists the remedy is to attend reeducation camp. What's good for the goose is good for the gander - as my feminist side admits.

I would refuse to attend re-education classes as well. I never engaged in racist behavior, nor did any sisters I knew of, and these classes would not have gone over.

I've heard about one former NPC member who has gone viral with her complaints about her chapter. I have also read comments from many of her ex-sisters who have given up on trying to refute her claims. This is quite a liberal chapter, so to speak, and no one remembers any racist behavior or even microaggressions in the house. At this point, most think she is grabbing for her 15 minutes of fame.

I think the challenge is that those in the majority often do not know that their behaviors are in fact hurtful. I do take the time to educate myself because I very much want to avoid unknowingly causing pain to my Sisters. It’s worth the time, to me, to try to make sure everyone is comfortable in my org and not quietly hurting.

I think you would find that a lot of college students are hurting for various reasons.

I feel like “they don’t know any better” is just a tired excuse. It’s 2021. We all know what’s offensive and what’s not. First of all, it’s college- so if you don’t know already, educate yourself, because the world (and your future workplace) are bigger than your small town. Secondly- a lot of these girls who make this claim come from really privileged families. While I’m not implying that a privileged person can’t be racist, these ARE people who adhere to social graces and society rules (at least on the outside). If you grew up knowing which fork to use and learning etiquette, then you know enough to not use certain words, even in a joking manner. I feel like it’s precisely privilege that enables their behavior- they don’t care if someone is offended. Like the whole “I tel it like it is and if you don’t like it, you’re a snowflake” mentality.

I’m pretty far from being a racist, but if I had to attend a diversity workshop, I would go and see if I could learn anything. To me, as someone in the social work field, I’m always learning new things about people, sociology and how people want to be treated. If nothing else, i would be supporting the sisters who felt offended. Part of my role as a white person isn’t just to not offend anyone, but to speak out and support those who are bothered, especially if they’re my sisters.

This generation has grown up with not having to listen to or watch anything they aren’t interested in. I mean, I had 4 channels on tv growing up (and sometimes not even that, depending on weather). At some point I was going to run into The Jeffersons or Sanford and Son. Nowadays, lots of people don’t even watch broadcast tv - they pick and choose what they want from Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, TikTok. If they don’t want to be exposed to people who don’t look and act like them, they don’t have to be. Same with music.

You can teach kids in school, but if they come home and hear the opposite, how much of a dent will it make? (I’m thinking of the dinner scene in American History X.) If it’s a white teacher reading from a book to a 100% white class, it’s probably going to seem as real and immediate to them as the Revolutionary War does.

None of this is an excuse, but it’s very easy to see how narrow mindedness and just plain ignorance happens. We’re dividing into smaller and smaller factions every day.

This is my point. It's 2021 and we do know better, although some people may choose to gloss over that and act like they want--and I'm not just talking about racism either.

Requiring re-education workshops? Sounds like the Pol Pot regime in Cambodia.