Misunderstanding
 

Sorry to complain once again, but this pissed me off....

After an awesome party at Delta Sig last night, I came outside to see that Gamma Phi Beta had put streamers and signs saying "Gamma Phi Loves *insert frat*" and drew with chalk the same messages on ALL of the fraternity houses.........


Except Delta Sig....................


It's not enough that you'll stop at every house on walkarounds except ours, that you ran one night from house to house singing to the houses, yet when you got to our courtyard, you turned right back around and left. What exactly did we do that you ignore us?

Now I'm talking about ALL of the sororities here. What did we do that's so bad that we get no love, no respect no fricking acknowledgement from you? Is it because we're the smallest house? Is it THAT much of a popularity contest?

None of the guys besides me care (partywise, we do FINE without you) , but cmon , what exactly did we do to you that we don't even get one ounce of respect?

Would your president sit down with the president of Gamma Phi Beta and ask her what the deal is?

From what you've said here, it sounds like they are being pretty disrespectful.

Well, it's not a big deal for the rest of my house. They've gotten pretty used to being ignored by the sororities. It only bothers me because part of being a greek is socializing with other greeks, and as much as we've tried none of them want to. So, it's getting to this point of "why bother?"

awww, stan, i totally sympathesize. if we weren't halfway across the country, we'd hang with you!

Thanks. At Pi Phi's beach volleyball tourney last semester, our coaches ditched us after we lost, so we were stuck there alone at the beach while the rest of the girls were hanging out with the other houses.

UPdate: I talked to one of the guys, he has this "We are proud to be the Animal House" POV. He says Gamma Phi can do whatever they want. Yeah, but it's still disrespectful

No, your group size shoudn't make a difference. But your brother's comment may hold a clue.....he doesn't care that you all are known as the Animal House.....but the sororities might! If there's something to that label, it might be that the sororities might be wary of you.
Take the initiative and try to organize acivities with them one at a time. Prove hat you all can be fun and gentlemen at the same time and I bet things will change.

Relations are hard!

I know that sometimes groups can put labels on you and avid you like the plague. We are commonly overlooked becasue our rep as the ugly sorority. This pisses me off a lot. First off there are some georgous women in our chapter-- they just have no clue. Second, just because you may not want to sleep with the entire sorority at once doesn't mean we aren't fun to hang with. Geez. We'd love to party with you all, if you want to drive to Stanford :-)
-M

I'm sorry Stan, that sucks. :mad:

If it is any consolation to you, the Gamma Omega chapter serenaded every fraternity and sorority except one, and that's because they are about 1.5 miles off campus and too far to walk! :D

I am only speculating here, but I'm guessing they were turned off by the animal house rep. I know that our internationals has been really pushing us to watch who we associate with in any manner. I'm not sure if this is true of other chapters or just mine (we are the only NPC org on campus). They still should have made the effort though, and I'm sorry that they didn't.

Well then I'm stuck, because the overwhelming feeling is to be the Animal House. That's the way they want it. They feel that it's what seperates us from the other houses, that it gives us identity, even though that means lower numbers and fewer sorority relations.

But I do want to know: Why would a house that just wants to have fun turn you off?

It's already happened to me...........

in a similar story...
 

i believe there was a thread similar to this in one of the other forums, and some GC'ers gave interesting advice : drown them in kindness. Instead of being upset with the sororities on your campus, do something nice for them to let them know your chapter DOES exist and doesn't exist soley to be the "Animal House" chapter of the university. Why not serenade them? It might let them realize what cool guys they are missing out on knowing.

Just a thought.

Re: in a similar story...
 

Thank you very much. I was kinda thinking the same thing, I just kinda figured it wouldn't work. Ask Josh8o, it's all a popularity contest at SDSU.

My $.02...

I agree with the president or someone with some class (such as yourself, obviously) sitting down to lunch with the president of GPhiB. In fact, would it kill the chapter to pay for this lunch? Anyhow, ask the sorority president if y'all have done something to offend them, and if so, offer to rectify it. It's a win-win situation, because you will come off as the classiest of fraternity row by doing this.

We once had a situation when we boycotted a fraternity because one of the brothers had slapped a pledge of ours. Once the fraternity president heard why we were boycotting them, the pledge AND the chapter were each sent a dozen roses (that's a total of 2 dozen roses). The offending brother was forced to apologize, and we scheduled a mixer with them for the next available time.

A little communication and the desire to be mature goes a long way!

honeychile

Well, honestly, I think I'm fighting a losing battle, because the only person that's taking this to heart is me. The rest of the guys couldn't care less.

I'm going to quote what someone said at a recent IFC meeting:

"Delta Sig is more interested in getting drunk than getting pledges"

BTW, we only have 4 pledges where most has at least 15-30. Theta Chi got 3, but that's beside the point

I guess the only thing I can do is enjoy the awesome parties we throw, and just go with the flow.

DeltaSigStan,
I'm sorry to hear your school's greek system is a popularity contest. That is just sooooo high school.

I think you are right when you say part of being Greek is socializing with other greeks. Heck, I'm in a professional GLO and we still get together with the other professional GLO in our college of business!

Whatever you decide to do, I really hope things take a turn for the better for you and your chapter.
:)

Stan, whether or not you're in the "Animal House", it's obvious that you have some class! If this bothers you, then just make a lunch date with almost any GphiB sister, and find out what's going on! This could all be a silly misunderstanding, and you will have worked yourself into an ulcer over nothing!

Besides, one of the selling points of Greek Life that I use the most is the experience one gets in public relations and dealing with crisis! This is your big chance to shine!

I have faith in you!

honeychile

stan, i am sorry you feel this way....but yes, sdsu is a huge popularity contest. we even feel it at phi psi. we are not a top house.....we just have a bunch of cool guys who are willing to work our way up slowly.
our house was decorated last night by gamma phi...we thought it was cool until we noticed every house was decorated. i know your house was not decorated, but it sucks to wake up in the morning to see decorations at your house...and most of the other one. i would almost wish they had not decorated our house so we could not be like the other houses....you know who they are...

Josh, to me, I'd rather be one of the houses that was than the one and only house that wasn't. At least they're showing some love, some appreciation to you guys.

well josh, my sorority has a very open policy.. we have relations with everyone unless they do som ething drastic to us or another org... so come up to massachusetts and chill with KDPhi ;)

seriously though, i agree. talk to the president. see whats up. try to fix relations. things are always changing nad this may be a change on its way for you and your fraternity.

I'm a little confused. Are houses required to go to every other house on campus during serenades? Maybe it's because I go to a school with a huge Greek system, but if we were expected to serenade every fraternity on campus I would drop dead of exhaustion!

One thing I can suggest to you is to have an awesome serenade! One house on campus was in a similar situation- they didn't really have trouble getting exchanges (that's hard to do on our campus, having so many houses around and all) but some houses that they wanted were a little uncertain about exchanging with them. Last year they had terrific serenades and gave all the houses crazy gifts- once all the houses saw how much effort was spent, I guess they all realized how much fun the guys were and how much they wanted the sorority! The house considerably improved their reputation and social calendar for the next semester. I'm not saying that you should spend a lot of money on serenades and such, but if you get your house together and spend some time on that I guarantee the girls will be impressed.

If a sorority is doing ANYTHING, be it chalking, back to school notes, serenades or whatever for every fraternity, leaving out one is rude, classless and disrespectful. It does not matter what the fraternity's "rep" is or how many members they have. And if the sorority's HQ in any way encourages this sort of behavior under the guise of "risk management"...well, I won't even go into how bogus that is.

Funny how word gets around the GDI's though...they do notice when Greeks engage in this sort of snobbish behavior. It can backfire.

Stan,

Are you guys super-visible on campus? I am guessing probably not since you say most members don't care. But, if you can get some to care, I think it would help. Maye start with your new member class because they probably haven't adopted the attitudes the rest of your guys have.

Wear your letters all the time. Go serenade all the sororities. Send them little notes or gifts. Do a party with a sorority that is smaller and then put a thank you in the paper. Have a huge philanthropy and go to every house to personally invite them.

If you get your name out there, the girls won't be able to ignore you for very long.

I've kinda just changed my mind now. If none of the sororities want to give us the time of day, why should I give THEM the time of day? I'm not going to get upset anymore, because I know that if we ever get up to 50 bros, they're gonna want to hang out with us then. So if so, why would I want to associate with people like that?

So, Delta Sig SDSU is going to have the same parties, and have the same beautiful women that come as they always do. If all the other greeks want to ignore us, then fine, we're just gonna keep to ourselves and have the fun we've always had.

BTW, I just found out that the rest of IFC talks trash either about us or to us at IFC meetings.

"Delta Sig finally threw a party for 45 minutes"
"Delta Sig cares more about being drunk than getting pledges"
"We knew Delta SIg would only get 5 pledges"

Well, I'm not going to get upset anymore. I'm just gonna go with the flow and have all the fun I can in the Animal House of SDSU.

Please don't shoot the messenger!
 

Because that is what communication between adults of the opposite sex is all about. There will be miscommunication, there will be misunderstanding. You can adopt a posture of immaturity such as "if you don't like it, FINE!"...(which does nothing to open lines of communication between groups)..
Or, you can be an adult gentleman, and try to be proactive, open the lines of communication and try to find out what is going on.
Maybe things will not improve...but maybe things will. I think it is worthwhile to try it, don't you think?


Hi Stan,
Here is the way that I see it...please don't be angry for me being honest. When fraternities are "fun", this covers the whole spectrum of what is construed to be "fun" and is open to interpretation by both sexes.

I can tell you that from a woman's point of view, when I hear about groups that are "The Animal House"...I don't know, it signals to me that this group is TROUBLE; it conjures up in my mind guys who drink drink drink, but I mean all the time...drink drink drink, that's all they do. It also brings to my mind, a kind of date-rapist sort of image, you know what I mean?
At its worst, it brings to *my* mind, a group that is filled with belching, beer-drinking, date-raping boors.
To me, an Animal House means a place where women will not feel safe.

If you want to hang out with the women, the women have to feel safe, and that the men will respect them. I don't think women want to hang out with guys who are trying to out-belch each other.

I am not saying that you guys are like this, but you have to remember that for people, "Perception is Reality". If your group is perceived to be boozy, date-rapisty kind of guys, then women will avoid you, end of story.

I would really advise that if you want to improve relations with the Gamma Phi's, start with their Chapter President. Take her to lunch, etc. I would also recommend sending over some flowers (FYI: the Gamma Phi flower is the pink carnation) and invite them to some sort of a function, like bowling or something. Also, if you can find out what happened, it may help. Bear in mind, you may never find out the answer or get a clear picture of how the misunderstanding or what social wrong-doing happened.

Better yet, dress up in suits, bring the flowers, sing them some songs...you might be thinking "that's so lame", but women love that kind of stuff, trust me!


I hope that this helps..you sound like a guy who wants to do great things for your chapter. GOOD LUCK! :)

I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL MORON RIGHT NOW

A couple of my new members just showed up to the courtyard. In their hands was a sign that read:

"Gamma Phi Beta Digs Delta Sig"

Apparently someone had ripped it off the front of our house and hid it behind one of the columns. Since we're not allowed in the house (it's not done yet), none of us could see unless they actually went searching for it.

So, that someone hid it aside, I feel like a total jerk right now for getting upset. I apologize to all of you for going off without, I guess, not knowing the whole story.

However, I do want to rebuttal cutiepie2000's post just a little. I agree that the term Animal House will turn people off in a way, but it's really ironic, because most of the girls that do come to our parties say the following:

"I love Delta Sig because you guys aren't dicks like most of the other houses. You don't have lists, or invites, you let anyone you think is cool in and you just have a good time. Plus, at other parties we don't feel safe, but we feel safe here."

I honestly don't know why it's like that, but most of my friends that are girls that frequent the Delta House feel this way.

Glad to hear that it all worked out.

I think the moral of the story is:

Don't assume anything. If something is bothering you, try to find out first (i.e. C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N!!), rather than assuming that one GLO has something personal against you.

Glad to hear that women do feel safe with you, but bear in mind that the connotations of "Animal House" are usually more negative than positive. Just my .02.
Thanks! :)

Understood. Thanks.

Things always look better the day after. Good luck getting DeltaSig to top.

DeltaSigStan,
I'm glad to hear things worked out for ya :)

i wouldn't necessarily say you overreacted. i would also be obviously upset if the other houses had visible signs and you didn't. i'm glad you found the sign though and that everything is working out!!!

You know its funny, because when he used the term "Animal House" fraternity, my thought in him using it wass that they are the "underdog" house on campus. Not that they were "we just like to booze and party house".

Hey Stan, my advice is to kill em with kindness!! People hate nothing more than to diss someone and then have them turn around and be nice. Send Gamma Phi a HUGE bunch of flowers to their house with a nice note thanking them for all of their support...even if you don't mean it, your gesture says who the bigger person is.

You said everything I wanted to say. I totally agree!! Perfect reply friend! I'm glad you posted it!

Stan, glad everything got sorted out!

I think that your fraternity should reach out to the sororities with serenades or whatever is the cutom at your school. Flowers and a card are always nice. :)

I'm glad that Gamma Phi Beta digs you guys. :)

I changed the title of this thread since you found out the Gamma Phi's did not disrespect you.

From an alum who saw some of your members!
 

DeltaSigStan,

I'm glad and relieved that it was all a misunderstanding. I just wanted to say that I was at one of the sorority houses at SDSU for an alumnae dinner the collegiates hosted last night. Some guys from your chapter stopped by; they were really classy and sincere. I thought about this thread, too!
;)

Best wishes to your chapter! I know you're working hard to get your house to the top.

I wouldn't say they're disrespectful......


When my chapter takes the pledges to slut row for announcing, we skip certain houses as well.



It's all about a preference......

Yeah, the guys decided to roll up in the Delta Sig Limo too, which I thought was cool. I couldn't be there cause I had work, but I'm glad the guys that did go went.