MRABA Appeals?
 

I got so screwed over during rush this year. I rushed as a sophomore with so many friends in one house that I wanted to be in so badly. I got to pref round and my best friends have told me that everyone ranked me very high and they basically thought it was a guarantee I would end up there. Somehow, I ended up in my second choice. I talked to a panhel exec and she said that sometimes even if I want a chapter and they want me, I could end up in my second choice if they have me higher on their bid list. I really feel like I am meant to be in that other chapter and I am so upset because they are giving out COBs but I can't take one because of the MRABA. I am bound to the other sorority and can't rush for a year. I know this sounds crazy but has anyone ever heard about appealing the mraba? I think you can if a rule has been violated. I honestly feel like I was bid promised but by starting an appeal I would be accusing the chapter I wanted to join. I know everyone is telling me to just be happy about my second choice but honestly this system is so corrupt and I'm sick of just accepting that "that's just how it works". If I wanted my first choice and they wanted me I should have gotten them, simple as that.

I have never heard of an appeal. If they allowed them, PH would be snowed under and it might come out that someone wasn't really on the first bid list (which would interfere with membership selection) and can you imagine the destruction of friendships?

Here you go, starting on page 128:

https://www.npcwomen.org/wp-content/...nformation.pdf


As described in the document, it is probable that your first choice group matched to quota before they got to your name on the ranked list, but they are still below total chapter size, and that's why they're participating in COB. I think that's especially true this year, when members may have not returned and more chapters are below total.

It's all computer-based, so it's not really "corrupt" -- it's just a computer program. If you feel this strongly, feel free to pursue the appeal process described in the linked NPC document, or decline the invitation to join the sorority who graciously offered you membership.

Maybe they did rank you very high - but ranked others really high and you just didn't make the first list. You don't say what quota was nor how many went thru at your school, but the numbers don't lie. Obviously X number of women were ranked higher than you were. So which one of those should they toss out so you can have her place????? Because that's what you - in essence - are saying....speaking about ruining friendships!

How many times have I have heard that? Lots. Your friends may have told you the truth but I doubt they knew exactly how every single member would vote. Or their sisters may have said "yes we love her" to make them your friends feel better. There is never a guarantee when you go through rush - that's the risk you take. I'm sorry but as others here have said, you just didn't likely land high enough on the bid list. Take the bid you were offered and go be the sister that chapter saw in you.

If a chapter uses one of the ranking apps like Select a Sis, GPA can be figured into the ranking. It is very possible that your friends ranked you highly and the other women did, as well. But with the GPA factor, it could have pushed other PNMs slightly ahead of you. Just a thought.

Umm...

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=246475

The plot thickens.

I am sorry that your first choice didn't have you high enough on their list for you to receive a bid from them. It doesn't matter where your 2nd choice house had you. You could be #1 on their list-if your first choice had you anywhere on their list that your name appeared before they pledged quota, you would have gotten a bid to your first choice. 2nd choice sororities do NOT prevent you from receiving a bid to your desired house.

Good sleuthing 33.

Here are the 2 valid reasons for appealing and being allowed to rush again prior to the next formal recruitment:

Exceptions to an individual’s ineligibility to be pledged may be granted by the NPC Board of Directors in the following cases:

• Documented illegal conduct by the chapter offering the bid; or
• Documented violations of Panhellenic membership recruitment policies

So... which rule did the chapter you pledged break?

And of course, should you take this route, you will need to resign your pledgeship before you have any decision. I do strongly advise you to drop your pledgeship to your current sorority NOW. Please. You and they will be so much better off.

You rushed for the 2nd time as a sophomore, after dropping out of rush last year because you didn't like your options. That is enough for a PNM to end up with no bid at all the 2nd time around. You were lucky to receive a bid. Now I think you should go resign.

thanks, 33, for linking to mountainmama's recruitment from 2019.

So here's the deal, OP: you have had two bites at the apple, and you were offered a bid this year. That's incredible (at least to me it is), considering what your experience was last year. You either grow up, graciously become a member of the sorority that extended you a bid, and make the best of it. Or you decline your bid/resign, and accept that the sorority ship most definitely has sailed away and you're not on it. Because I guarantee with high confidence that you will not get a third bite. If I'm wrong I'm sure you'll come back and tell me next year. And there is nothing, I repeat nothing, for you to appeal. The system worked just fine.

As many of my Panhellenic sisters have stated, you weren't high enough on your "preferred chapter's" bid list to be extended a bid. Period. Total is set after recruitment ends, hence the chapter may have had spots to fill for many reasons. Okay I'm being redundant. Making sure to get it through your head.

The choice is yours.

:rolleyes:I sense a little foot stomping here.

Your friends could have been 100% honest and you still could have been on the 2nd Bid List and they were full by the time they got to you.
-or-
What would you say to a friend who was in your position? Even if you knew her chances were so-so, would you have the heart to tell her it wasn’t going to happen? Or, after the fact would you tell her that you heard xy and z were reasons some didn’t want her? Or would you act surprised and shocked? (Which they may be! But a handful of friends don’t make out the bid list.)

If you want to be Greek, this is your chance. But don’t waste the time of the chapter that gave you a bid if you aren’t willing to embrace them and let this go.

I re-read your post and want to add this:

If you continue this attitude, boy will you have a tough life. That job you thought was perfect and you were assured they loved you? Someone else got it. More experienced, less experienced, the CEO's daughter went to college with the gal who got the job, you name it. Life isn't fair and the sooner you get that, the easier your life will be.

I love the saying that "when you argue with reality, you lose - but only 100% of the time." Right now you're losing all around.

If you want to be Greek - truly - you'll stop arguing and start being the sister this chapter wants.

Please, OP, take the above advice and remove yourself from the rolls of the chapter whose name YOU CHOSE to put on YOUR MRABA Card as being ACCEPTIBLE for you to join. How dare the recruitment system lure gullible you into rushing two seasons in a row. No one can escape the engaging claws of the owls, nor the innocent grasp of a panda, during such a hectic time. It is better to leave behind the trappings of lifelong sorority membership before one initiates and builds a lifetime of haunting, tragic panhellenic memories whilst trying to forget about "the one that got away".

Ah -- The decisions of youth. Except for the advice to terminate or to immediately decline your bid, all of the advice given above is good - especially the advice relating to how you wound up with your second choice. Second choice is better than no choice.

Practically speaking, if you want to be in a sorority, given the advice above, realistically this is likely your final opportunity. Don't be the malcontent. Do not appeal. And don't make a stink about not getting your first choice because chances are you were not the sorority that gave you a bid's first choice either. The person who compared your experience to the employment world is very correct. In real life, nobody gets their first choice all the time. Most rarely ever get their first choice or even a choice at all.

Try to put your disappointment behind you and try to make the best of the opportunity that you have now.

"We cannot direct the wind . . . but we can adjust our sails."

There have been many recruitment stories on this site where it turned out that they loved their second choice sorority and were very happy that they did not receive a bid to their first choice. Who knows, you may be one of them.

Id like to say this...
When I first went through Rush, I had my heart set on Chi Omega or Phi Mu, just because of what I had heard. I wanted no other house but those two. I wasn't really even slightly considering the other houses. But guess what? After day 1 of rush, I realized I needed to be more open-minded. While I love the girls in Chi-O and Phi Mu....(they loved me too)...rushed me really hard...in the end, they just weren't the house for me, which really broke my heart. There just wasn't the connection I was really hoping for, throughout rush. And while I was super disappointed (initially) because I had my heart set on them, and now it felt like they weren't clicking...above all else, I knew I wanted to be in a sorority...point, blank, period, and I was willing to go through the rush in all of it's entirety and then decide on which I felt I had the best chance at sisterhood with. And, I actually, last minute, threw in a wild card and chose AOII for pref night, who kept inviting me back, because I had a feeling. Guess what? I got called home to AOII on bid day, and it was the best decision ever...even though it was not the decision or idea that I had in my head initially.
All of the girls that I knew that re-rushed (not sure if that is the technical term) were low-key blackballed in the greek community and didn't even get a bid the second time around, or if they did...it was from the only chapter that hadn't made quota and wanted to do informal as a last ditch effort. And 9/10 of them STILL ended up unhappy with their options. Word travels fast (especially if you attend a smaller campus) about those girls who refused to be satisfied with the sororities that chose to extend them a bid, that they gave a spot to when they very well could have given it to another girl. I can definitely say this. If you cancel your bid with this sorority and make a big stink over this MRABA appeal.....good luck at ever getting another bid extended a third time around. That would more than likely kill your chances. But, also, don't bother wasting the time of the girls in this sorority if you're just going to be ill that they weren't your first choice the whole time, and refuse to give them a chance. That won't win your any friends, either.
Because if you are being completely honest with yourself....did you even give any of these sororities you pledged to a chance? I mean, I know tons of girls who felt like they got shafted initially through rush, but gave their sisters a chance, and ended up happier than ever with the sisterhood that chose them. You shouldn't go into it with the blind and naive misconception that sisterhood is going to be some easy and magical thing right off the get go. It takes some effort and time for that relationship to really grow...just like any other relationship/ friendship. A girl in my sorority used to say "a bid gets you into the club... but what you get out of the club, depends on how much effort you're willing to put into it."
So, are you sure you've really even done that with either one?
Give the girls a chance. You don't always know what you want until it picks you. But, I can tell you that coming in with that kind of attitude....won't get you very far with your sisters.

So many accusatory people responding who don't know the full story of either times I rushed and want to call me ungrateful. To update, I have heard directly from the recruitment chair of the chapter that I wanted that I was high enough on their list to get a bid before they reached quota. Everyone in that chapter was spamming the recruitment chairs with texts when they saw my name wasn't on the list on bid day. What we suspect happened is that my second choice ranked me high enough that my preference was overridden in order to fill my second choice's pledge class. I talked to a representative of panhellenic at my school and she said it was possible. I realize my original post sounded ungrateful but imagine how frustrating it is to know your first choice sorority with all of your friends in it wanted you and you wanted them so badly but they system matched you to a different one. They constantly talk about how it is a mutual selection process but I didn't get a say at all. I don't think I will appeal and will try to make the best of the situation but please try to understand why I am upset.

You got your say by writing down two pref choices, instead of the one you just knew 100% absolutely for certain wanted you so bad that they and you are moaning sadly about it now that you are in this alleged pickle.

QFP

No. Just, no. That is NOT how this works, if you are talking about NPC sororities who follow RFM. Nice try. But no.

Well, since you are convinced that your #1 choice wants you, resign from your current sorority and wait another year. Rush next year and see if you get a bid from your #1 choice. I'll be waiting.

I re-read all the posts here and no one called you ungrateful. Those were your words describing how you yourself sounded(above). As for "mutual selection" - yes, you did get a say. You put both chapters down on your MRABA. You're upset because you didn't end up with your #1 choice. We get that, loud and clear.

It doesn’t work that way. Your preference cannot be “overridden” because you are on a sorority’s first bid list. If that was true, every sorority on every campus would make quota all the time!! And anyway, the first bid list is alphabetical, not by scores. No one is “higher” than another within that first list. That doesn’t start till the second bid list.

Either these people you are talking to are clueless, are only telling you what you want to hear, or you are only hearing what you want to hear.

Or she's lying, because we all know that is literally NOT HOW IT WORKS.

Oh no.....after all of this inside, top secret info you are privy to that we, many of us former or current national officers or collegiate chapter advisors of our respective sororities or National Panhellenic Conference officers, aren't, maybe you should appeal. I encourage you to.

We do really understand. Your friends guaranteed that you would get a bid from their chapter and you found out that they don't have the pull they thought they did. It happens ALL.THE.TIME. Your's is not a unique situation. And do you really want to be a member of a chapter who did not place you high enough on their bid list? What will the quality of your membership be if you force your way in to a chapter that felt you would shine better elsewhere? Could there be resentment? Outright hostility? Shunning? Think hard about your next step.

I'm sorry that you have been led astray about how this works. It's a computer program. What you are saying cannot happen. You are saying that after the computer put out the completed bid lists, someone took them and removed your name from AAA and put you in BBB and somehow moved a woman from BBB to AAA without them realizing that she should have been elsewhere - or worse, just didn't give her a bid. Now who the heck would hate you so much as to do this? Stop and think logically about this. You need to accept reality and move on. As others have said, this is your only chance for membership. End of story.

mountainmama, consider who's providing this insight and knowledge: women who have been or are at some level of involvement with their sorority, whether it's at the national level, collegiate chapter advisor or working with the National Panhellenic Conference, as FSUZeta outlined above. Computers simply can't make mistakes although upset PNM's post on here every year that "they did". Nope, they don't. Names aren't suddenly changed on the bid lists; if that could happen, there would be chaos on every college campus every year.

You can think we're being rude, but we're not - we're simply trying to spell out the truth of how it works. Why members are telling you otherwise is beyond me. If you want to trust them over the word of so many esteemed women who have devoted decades to service of their sororities and Panhellenic and who are more in the know than you can imagine, go right ahead. It will only prolong your misery and contribute, I suspect, to others' misinformation as well.

Also, if you take a look at the NPC document I linked, it indicates that leaders within each chapter (such as advisor, membership VP, chapter president) review the bid lists they submit to the Greek Life office for computer matching, and then the chapter leadership reviews the bid list outcome BEFORE the lists are finalized with the Greek Life office and bids are hand prepared, signed, and delivered. Humans double-check everything, and each chapter has time to notice any discrepancies or errors before the bids are finalized. There is literally no way that your #1 choice neglected to give you a bid if you were really, truly on their bid list. Membership selection is private and none of us know what happened with your top choice's selection criteria or internal system or votes from women who aren't your besties that resulted in you not being placed high enough to be offered a bid. It does happen and things like this will happen again in life. I'm so sorry you are disappointed. I do hope you decide to do a 180 and relish the sisterhood that awaits you with the group who extended you an invitation to join. I think you have a short window here to put a positive foot forward. Seriously.

The window will turn into a transom if someone from her campus figures out who she is. Just sayin.

Dear MM. I understand your anguish. I loooved AAA and they loooved me. It was cosmic perfection. Then they cut me right before pref. I was in a fog of shock for days. Of the two I still had who preffed me one (BBB) gave me a bid. Still in a bit of a daze I accepted. They helped me become a better student and a better person. They taught me to be more gracious to everyone, and I found good friends. Now I am grateful I didn’t turn down the opportunity just because I was still grieving the loss of AAA. I discovered later BBB was a very strong national group. I have had the chance for 50+ years to work with absolutely amazing people, and find pride in the membership. You sound hurt and grieving, but that will pass if you let it, and you can still find happiness.

^^^This. Literally. Is. The. Answer.

OP, read this again. If you were on their top bid list, you would have gotten a bid. Period. The end. Do you really think the campus recruitment consultant and Panhellenic Recruitment VP hate you so much that they went in and “fixed” the computer generated bidlists to move you to your #2 choice? Because that IS what you’re accusing them of doing.

It sounds like you could have been high enough on the 2nd list that you would have matched in prior years but they had an outstanding rush and didn’t have to go that deep on the 2nd list to fill to quota. (Even more true if your campus has an Upperclassmen Quota). Or none of your friends know what they’re talking about. Or the rush chair is lying to you because you’re making this so awkward for them. Or their advisors are heavy-handed and made some “tweaks” to the final list before submitting....But it really doesn’t matter because all of this is private membership selection info. All that matters is you were definitely not on the first bid list or you would have bid-matched.

If you knew you only would accept a bid to your #1, then you should have SIP. I don’t agree with that but it would have given your spot to someone who actually wanted to be in your pledged sorority.