questions about pinning?
 

can someone explain what pinning is besides the giving of ones letters to another...i want to know what it MEANS in terms of where someone is in a relationship thanks

Hello I will try and explain what pinning is. First of all pinning isn't giving ones letters to another. Pinning is giving an individual the oppertunity to become apart of your brotherhood by learning and participating in the membership orientation program. By pinning an individual its like saying we like you and we want you to be apart of us. let me know if that helps

fraternally,
Ricky

simplejane -

I'm not sure which kind you are asking about so I'll tell you about both kinds.

When a sorority or fraternity has a "pinning" ceremony for its new members, it is basically a formal ceremony recognizing their pledgeship. These are usually done after bid day cause bid day's often pretty informal.

When a fraternity man pins his girlfriend, it is basically the step before becoming engaged to be married. It's very serious, because they are saying this girl means as much to them as the fraternity.

At my school, we call it lavaliering. You don't get your boyfriend's pin, but you get his letters on a chain. And it's a HUGE deal!

------------------
"Seek the noblest."
Zeta Love! <3

At my school you can either be lavaliered or pinned. Actually I was tossing around the idea of pinning my bf, but I'm not sure if he'd like the idea of being pinned by a sorority. Usually I have heard of only fraternity men pinning their girlfriends, but maybe this is only at my school?

Actually, I've never heard about sororities pinning a fraternity. In other words, I think the guy does the pinning and not the other way around. But, hey, I'm just letting you know how we do it at my school. Does anyone else know of it being done the other way around?

Lavaliering: When you give a girl a necklace with your letters, usually after a year of dating, guys lavalier his girlfriend, then we have a candle pass.

Pinning: After a lavalier, it's the step before engagement. You give her either your fraternity pin, or some fraternities, like DSP and Sigma Chi have female versions of the pin, just for this purpose. We had a girl get pinned, and it was so touching, it's such a HUGE deal, it rarely happens, since Lavaliering is more common. Some fraternities allow the wearing of letters after a girl is pinned, most don't. Our girl wears her pin from her boyfriend when she wears her Theta badge.

I think Lavaliering is the sweetest thing ever. I can't wait until one of our girls is Lavaliered, but I'm sure it's difficult, seeing as how none of them, except three of us, are dating fraternity guys.
lol

Jess

Lavaliering is done only when the relationship is serious. I would hope no guy would just give away his letters...lol (even though I've been lavaliered twice) (twice's the charm)

I rarely see (at least so far) pinning. Lavaliering is usually pre-engagement...

Yep twice is a charm. The second is always the best.

Pinning
 

The way I always thought of pinning was that it was a step below engagement. Some fraternities don't lavalier, so they pin. If they do lavalier and pin, than it probably is a step below lavaliering.

From my understanding, it goes:

lavilier
pinning
engagement

for fraternities who do both.... (like theta xi)

our one sister just got pinned to A Phi O! :)

question about lavaliering----can we wear our sorority lavalier at the SAME TIME as we wear his? or do they have to be seperate? teehee I'm not even dating anyone right now but I'm just thinking about the future LOL

someone asked this question before, ZetaLuvBunny.

http://130.94.21.174/gcforums/showth...&threadid=1656


I think most of us concluded that you should wear your bf's lavalier around your neck and find a sorority bracelet/charm bracelet to wear. It's really a matter of opinion. I guess some girls think of it as denying their sorority, which I don't think is the case.

I'm lavaliered by my boyfriend, who is a Sig Ep, and I wear both my sorority lavalier and my Sig Ep lavalier. I don't, however, wear them on the same chain. I don't see any problem with it, I love both organizations equally as much. No one has ever told me that I shouldn't, so I see it as being ok.

I have seen girls wear both on the same chain, and I think it is fine.

The reason I do is because my AZD one is silver and my Sig Ep one is gold. Looks silly enough wearing two different metals (one of my pet peeves) let alone on the same chain.:)

whatever makes you happy :D

I've heard of other girls have bracelet charms for their sorority and wear the fraternity lavalier necklace, etc...so many combos.

Or you can have the chain break to your boyfriend's lavalier, lose it and have it in the sweeper bag at his fraternity house. (Thank you, Andy's roommate.) :rolleyes:

lol, last summer the lavalier chain broke when I was at work at J. Crew....Brandon got me another one.

Last year, I got pissy and took off the lavalier and threw it across the room and a day later- I found the chain but not the lavalier! We looked everywhere for it!!

We were on the verge of giving up, when Brandon sees it!! You should not believe where he spots it! Brandon lived in an upstairs apartment and the lavalier was in the crack of one of the wooden stairs [going up to his apt]! What are the chances he'd find it there?!

We do not pin on our campus. Actually, I have heard that some fraternities will beat the crap out of a brother who does, which is asinine. We do have lavaliering, but we call it "getting dropped" because we call the lavalier a "drop". When I went through rush this girl was telling me about being dropped by her boyfriend and I couldn't figure out why this made her happy...so she had to explain. I always thought that dropped was the same as dumped until then!

Anyway, not everyone drops their girlfriend. I was not dropped by my fiance and we dated 2 years, were friends for 3 before we got engaged. I am kind of glad I wasn't dropped because then it turns into "the DZ and the DU" who date. Also, I don't need a stinkin' drop when I have plat and diamonds on my hand!

Actually, most girls who get dropped end up getting dumped shortly therafter...it's like a curse.

well I guess I'm in the minority then.

AngelPhiSig is right... lavalier, then pin, then engagement. Even just giving a girl a lavalier means you're serious. Both happened on my campus, but pinning is extremely rare - usually people just go straight to engagement.

I've seen girls wear their boyfriends' letters after being lavaliered - I guess it depends on the fraternity.

If a GDI's wife may weigh in :) my husband did lavalier me... he gave me a little heart charm, and my sorority did a candle-lighting for me. I never had a sorority lavalier so I just wore his charm.

In my chapter, lavaliering is the big thing - usually happens at a formal (most times the fall one, since that's the "black tie only" one). The brother does it his own way - whether it's singing the girl a song, or doing something a little different. It usually ends up happening at every fall formal, for one reason or the other.

Collin

No "pinning" at all. WEll, not really. No one besides me can wear my badge. We do have sweetheart pins which can be baught for wives, mothers, sisters, and fiances. They are a smaller version of the badge. I guess were allowed to lavalier. No one has done it yet.

Great topic!!

When my boyfriend lavaliered me, it was definitely a special experience, and a turning point in our relationship. It's not the kind of thing that he would do twice, that's for sure! He went to college in the south, and I got the impression that it is a very high honor and very much a strong tradition. I don't want to give away any secrets, so I won't go too much into it, other than to say that I wear my lavaliere every day and that we have run into his brothers all around the world because of their recognizing me wearing his letters....or maybe they were just looking at my boobs. :eek: Kidding. :D

The way that I've seen it work on my campus is this: lettering, lavaliering/pinning, engagement. The lettering is a farily big thing to begin with and what happens is that a guy gives his girl a shirt with his letters on it to wear. I'm lettered to my boyfriend's fraternity.
Then there isn't really any difference between lavaliering and pinning on my campus, the difference is what piece of jewelry it is as far as I know. Some fraternities have sweetheart pins so that their girlfriends don't have their actual pin but some don't. It's a really huge deal to be lavaliered or pinned because that means that a guy has serious intention to be engaged to you next. Usually there is some sort of ceremony or at least some way of letting the brothers know it happened.
We have candle passings in my sorority to let people know when big stuff like this happens too. But, my sorority's nationals make it very clear that girls cannot letter or lavaliere or pin guys. The only thing they can wear is a screen print t-shirt with the name of the sorority spelled out on it. As far as I know that's true for all sororities. But, then guys probably wouldn't want a sorority's letters anyway...

I wear both of my lavaliers on the same chain. My boyfriend says the TKE goes on top and Sigma's on the bottom, that way the Sigma's are closest to my heart.
:)

That's so sweet Tracie! :D

Aren't our Tekes the sweetest?
It is sweet!!! But, sometimes I think he's a tad selfish because then the TKE is on top (just kidding...)

Love those TKE's!

At our school (UAB) most people consider it a Greek Engagement when the guy gives the girl his letters. It is kinda a big deal.

At my school no one wants lavaliered so to speak. I mean of course girls want to get lavaliered but there is a curse. I don't know many couples that stay together after they get lavaliered. It is actually a big joke on my campus people still do it but we all tease them and tell them it is cursed for abreakup.

Someone bored should do a darn study of the ratio of breakups between lavaliered couples and non lavaliered couples :p
:rolleyes:

Bug211, what GLO are you a member of? We do candle passings too, which we call secret ceremonies. I totally forgot about it until I read your post. Our nationals also do not let men wear our letters, unless the name is spelled out, not even our MOTY's. We used to let our MOTY's but then someone who was visiting from Nationals said that wasn't allowed anymore. I was just curious because your group sounded similar to mine!:p

KristyAZD, what's a MOTY? :confused:

Man of the Year

Also at our school, though it is a big deal to get lavaliered, most of them end up being cursed and the people break up. I myself would love to get my man's lavalier, if it weren't for the curse. I guess I will deal with just wearing his letters on shirts.

hee hee ... most of our lavaliered sisters ended up married. Course, it didn't work out for me, but hey, I still have the lavalier, anyway. ;)

oh well, after 2 years of being with my bf and being lavaliered, I guess I'm doomed. lol

In my boyfriend's fraternity they "shirt" the girl....its rarely done and its considered to be the step right before engagement. They take it really seriously and the guys who do it get thrown in the river by the rest of the brothers :-P I've been shirted for a few months and I am so happy he did it...I love being shirted. :-)