Dropped my sorority...can I be resinstated @ my new school?
 

Just dropped my sorority an hour ago due to financial reasons. I’m super sad about it because I’ve really grown to love greek life, and our PC was getting initiated this coming Thursday. I’ve also made the decision to move back home next semester and finish out my freshman year at a cc, before transferring to a different university in Texas next school year, bc OOS tuition is killing me. Anways I was wondering, since all three schools that I’m looking into have an active Tri Delt chapter, would I have to go through recruitment again? I feel like it’s kind of a given considering I was not officially a member, but I also do know that it is extremely frowned upon and discouraged to join a different sorority once you’ve alreay been affliated with another. Plus, I’d really hate the possibility of having to join a different house. Obviously I have to contact Tri Delt headquarters and get the final verdict, but would it be a bad idea to contact the individual chapters myself and let them know? Obviously not now since I haven’t been admitted, but towards the end of the next semester. And if I do have to rush again next year, would it be bad to mention that to other chapters? Or just I just go in and hope to get another bid from Tri Delta?

Since you are not an initiated member, you will have to go through recruitment at your new university.

You will have to go through recruitment again. You were never initiated and therefore are not bound to Tri Delt, nor are they bound to you. NPC rules state that you are free to go through recruitment and join any sorority that offers you a bid. You have no reason to contact Tri Delt nationals, nor should you contact the chapters at your future potential campuses.

Your rec writer may address it directly with the chapter at your future school by saying you pledged Tri Delt at your old school and have an affection for the sorority and are excited to meet the Tri Delts at new school.

Keep in mind OP that the Tri Delt chapter you joined is going to be different from the Tri Delt chapters at the schools you're looking at. It's nice to have affection for the national org, but what was a good fit at one school may not be at another.

One of my HS classmates pledged Tri Delta at another university before transferring to Ole Miss. She was never initiated into Tri Delta, rushed again at Ole Miss, and pledged Kappa. She was actually a Tri Delta legacy through her older sister. I'm not sure if she felt that Kappa was a better fit for her (a number of friends were in the chapter) or if Tri Delta released her, but she was initiated into Kappa at Ole Miss. Another sister is a Chi Omega from the same university as the Tri Delta sister, a SIL (now deceased) was an AOII from Ole Miss. Not sure if any other sororities are represented in their family, but that's the beginning of their own Panhellenic!

I agree with Xidelt, TXDG, and clemsongirl. Good luck if you decide to go through recruitment again.

You know, I never even thought about it like that. I guess I’m just scared of what my tri delt friends might think, which I guess shouldn’t really matter. I’m definitely going to keep this in mind!!! Thank you!

Oh wow. That’s so cool!! See I just wasn’t sure if that was common. So, would it be appropriate for me to even bring up the fact that I pledged tri delta once I go through recruitment again or no? Thank you for sharing!! I find that to be extremely fascinating :-)

Gotcha. Makes total sense. Thank you for the insight!!! So glad I know this now, before doing something that I would potentially regret later!!!

I wouldn't bring it up that you pledged DDD. The sororities might think you might quit again.

Yup. And they might think you will have financial issues again.

Someone else with more knowledge, please jump in here. My first thought is that whoever writes a rec for you might mention that you pledged Tri Delta at your previous university, so the chapters would find out that way. If your rec writers let their sororities know that you are going through with an open mind, I don't think your prior pledging should be a problem. Please do go through with an open mind and maximize your options--bloom where you're planted!

You could also be vague and mention that you pledged a sorority at your previous university, enjoyed sorority life and wanted to be a part of it again, and were so excited to have a chance to get involved in sorority life at your current university. I think your circumstance is not as rare as you think. Be polite at all parties (I'm sure you would be anyway!). Good luck finding your home, whether it is with Tri Delta again or a different sorority!

Anybody looking at your Facebook page (and they WILL check it out) will see you in DDD regalia, so you should explain it on your registration info.

You do not have to tell me twice. After the treatment I have received from these girls, I want absolutely NOTHING to do with tri delta, or greek life. I am extremely discouraged to even rush again at my new school.

I never posted anything about sorority life on social media, and especially not facebook. And as far as regalia, I don’t think that will be an issue. Considering my name is not affiliated with DDD whatsoever! At least that is what they told me when I dropped.

Got it. Although, now I don’t think I wanna rush again. The treatment I have received since I dropped has been utterly disgusting, and has left an extremely bad taste in my mouth in regards to greek life. Which ik is stupid because greek life at all schools are totally different. And it sucks because I have had absolutely nothing but wonderful things to say about it, but this aftermath has just changed my mind completely!!! If I do choose to rush again, I pray to God that I DO NOT get DDD!! Done with that!!!!

You're right, it is stupid. You have only dealt with one chapter of one sorority at one school. You might go thru rush at your new school, get DDD again, and have a perfect fit. Or you might fit in another sorority. At any rate, make sure you can afford whatever you get into. Hopefully the reduced tuition will alleviate that issue.

I’m not sure what sort of “aftermath” you are referring to, but if you were told that you are no longer part of the DDD chapter at your current school, it’s nothing personal, it’s just the letter of the law, as it were. Once you terminate your pledgeship or initiated membership, it is indeed as if you never existed in the sorority. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh or cold to you but it’s the truth. Especially nowadays when risk management is such an issue. You can’t be a guest at mixers or functions.

Were you clear with ALL the members about the fact that you’re transferring due to financial reasons, and wouldn’t be there next semester even if you did initiate?

Regina, one of my chapter sisters pledged XYZ at a uni, but didn't like that school. She transferred to where I went and introduced herself. This was when you had to wait for grades a.k.a. the next semester to get initiated. The XYZs there acted like they couldn't care less. My friend is beautiful, friendly and the package. She had a class with one of my sisters and invited her out. Where you fit on one campus may not be the same elsewhere. I'm still puzzled that they ignored her.

Agreed.

She could just untag herself from all the social media photos she is tagged in that feature DDD's events or the DDD PC and take down any that she uploaded herself. Easy peasy.

Was anybody else puzzled by the contrasting quotes--the love, then the hate for her sorority and Greek life?

No, not puzzled at all. The posts were a week apart. She probably didn’t get a good reaction to her dropping for whatever reason, which is why I always say to make sure to explain your actions to the WHOLE group in situations like this. Don’t trust that the president or advisor or whoever is going to do it adequately for you.

OP (and a lot of other people who do drop/disaffiliate) likely have unrealistic expectations about how things are going to go after disaffiliation. It seems to me that many who disaffiliate expect to be able to do so without affecting any of the relationships that were formed while they were a member of their GLO. In effect, they want to continue to reap (at least some of) the benefits they had while a member of the GLO, and are then surprised when their disaffiliation leads to changes in some relationships with their former sisters.

Disaffiliation is, in a way, like breaking up with your sisters/brothers. You're removing yourself from part of the shared commonality that initially brought you together, and of course that's going to change your relationship with them, especially if they are still members of the GLO. If the GLO was the only tie binding you to someone, it is reasonable to expect that friendship may end if you sever that tie.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating or shunning of former members or for necessarily having to give up any friendships. At the same time, you cannot expect to be treated like a sister/brother if you no longer are.

Not puzzled, but taking it in stride as just another example of how a young person can so quickly change a mindset (or actually be a troll, looking to keep a thread going).

I agree and, not to split hairs, but she wasn't an initiated sister to start with. I'm sorry that things went a bit sour. I hope she finds a great group of friends at her next campus.