Out of State Could This Hurt My Chances?!?!?
 

Hi all,

So I'll be attending an out-of-state college next year, which means I won't have any connections to women inside the sorority houses right now. I'm wondering in your honest opinion if this could hurt me or any thing I could do to help the situation?? I heard a lot of times joining a sorority is all about who you know inside the house? If I don't know anyone could this hurt my chances of receiving a bid?

in short probably not. However, there are certain chapters at SEC schools that have nearly all in-state members. But then, how comfortable would you feel in those chapters? It would benefit you to get recs for all chapters at your chosen school.

Also if your school has any sort of a Greek preview weekend, make every effort you can to attend! These usually occur in the spring.

A lot will depend on how the greek system works at the school you are attending, because they are ALL different. Where I went, out of state people were desirable PNMs because they were considered "Cool"! You say you don't know anyone in the houses, but do you know local alumnae of the chapters there? If so, get as many recs as you can. Even if you don't know someone personally, they might be willing to meet you for coffee to get to know you a bit and write a rec for you.

Good luck!!

Recommendation letters aren't needed at my school, should I still get them? Also if I don't know any of the girls because I am out of state how will I get current members to vouch for me?

You may be told that recs aren't needed, but they make a difference and every PNM should get them. First, they help a sorority become aware of you and as an OOS PNM, that is key. Second, they're an endorsement by sorority alumnae. Compare it to a job interview - would you go in without references? No.

I suggest you go through this site and find the very useful posts with information about recruitment. Every question you've asked here and much more is found there. Good luck.

You have no idea which SORORITIES require a letter of recommendation to receive a bid. You want to cover all your bases? GET THE RECS.

Next, there will be hundreds and hundreds of out of state girls going through rush. Of course, OOS women receive bids, but they must be prepared. We have no idea where you are going to school, so you really need to do a lot of reading to understand how this works.

Recs are very rarely written by current members, so connections with current members don't even matter! Recs are written by alumnae of the sororities. You need to find sorority alumnae who know you to ask them for a letter of recommendation. Please don't even say "But I don't know any women who are in a sorority." Yes, you do. Your mother does. You sit beside them in church or synagogue. They are your teachers and neighbors. ASK!

And they don't have to be alums of that school....just the sorority. Ask every adult female you know...employers(yours and your parents), teachers, coaches, neighbors, your friends' parents,etc. When you find one and they agree to write a rec, ask if they know anyone in the other groups you need. Greek women know other gGreek women.

Absolutely get them...see comments above, but yes, any alumnae of a sorority from any school can write your rec for you. They write them and they send them in. Do a search on this site to see if there is a recruitment thread for your particular school and then read the info there. I wish this had been around when I went through in the 80's...LOL...but the internet hadn't been invented back then!

Your teachers would be an amazing place to start looking for recs. The female teachers are college grads so some of them may have been in a sorority. Also, Panhellenic women know other Panhel women. Good luck!

Get the recs!! One for every single chapter. If you’re concerned about how the chapters will know about you, recs ARE how!! Start lining them up now - teachers, aunts, cousins, your friends’ moms & sisters, women you’ve babysat for or worked for, neighbors, etc.

As for getting to know the women on your campus, many schools have orientation or “freshman camps” over the summer so definitely go to them. At schools with camps, the “counselors” are all upperclassmen and many of them are Greek women. At orientation, stop by the Panhellenic booth if there is a day where you can preview activities and clubs. Dress nicely (not fancy but don’t look like you just rolled out of bed either) and be friendly to EVERYONE you interact. You never know when your campus tour guide is going to go back to her chapter and say “we have to check out this darling OOS girl who was in my tour group today!”

Will deff start looking for recs thank you! As for the 2nd part of my question. People I've talked to in the past and other posts I've seen on this site mostly say, knowing a current sorority member that goes to ur school will MAJORLY help ur chances of getting a bid so that they "can vouch for u". If i dont know any current members at my college won't this hurt my chances?!?!

It just means that you have to make a good impression at the rush parties. There will be hundreds of other girls in the same situation. Chapters will pledge plenty of young women who have no connections. Quit obsessing over it. It is what it is. Don't get your heart set on a specific chapter and prepare what you can.

I don’t think people expect an OOS freshman to know people in the chapters. That advice is more for sophomores or juniors who are rushing. They have had 1-2 years on campus to get to know women in sororities and so if they haven’t, it makes them look antisocial or uninvolved.

Oh ok. Sorry about that - I can see how our advice there could be confusing for you. Like 33girl said, we are usually directing that advice more towards sophomores, juniors and seniors, especially when they are rushing for a second time. That advice *might* also apply to second semester freshmen who are rushing in the spring. But for a brand new freshman? Not as much.

When we say that you want members in the chapter who will "vouch for you", we don't really mean that one sorority member could sway the whole chapter in your favor because she met you during a campus tour. I can't get into specifics because our membership selection procedures are secret; but, one woman generally can't vouch for you and get you a bid. What we're really trying to say here is that, if some sorority women know you from a class, and you're always a friendly student, good contributor in class, etc, then it leaves a good impression and they will remember you well later when they see you at recruitment.

However, as a first-time out-of-state freshman, your only chances to interact ahead of time are at places like the sorority tables during the campus club fair during new student orientation or the first week of school. So, as TXDG said, one of the sorority members might remember you as that really nice girl that stopped by the club fair table.

I hope this helps!

And that's also what a rec does for you. A member is vouching for you, calling the chapter's attention to you,announcing that you are coming and are wonderful! Get those recs.

Some things to consider
 

A recommendation is an introduction of you to the Chapter. It puts you on the Chapter's radar. A recommendation can never hurt you and can only help you. My school says that recs are not necessary but most chapters will courtesy invite you back to round two which gives them the opportunity to meet you again and gives you a second opportunity to look at the Chapter. Also, consider what some Universities do with grades. Some take years 9-11 only and some give the Chapters core class grades only. With a recommendation that information is listed on the form so the Chapter can use that GPA and not what the university is publishing for the Chapter use.

Do your best to get recommendation letters for every group on your campus, even if they "aren't needed." This will make your life easier and can be equivalent to a member "vouching for you."

The ways that sororities select members is secret to each organization, but I don't think that knowing someone puts the PNM at that much of an advantage. Can it be a positive thing if a member has a good impression? For sure, but it usually won't make that much of a difference for freshmen. It matters more for upperclassmen and also for anyone doing COB.

You will need to make a good impression at recruitment. Like everyone else who is an out of state (OOS) freshman.


This is one of those things that you have no control over. So I recommend that you do what you can and stop worrying about it. This means getting recs in order and also going to any pre-recruitment and the tabling events that you are able to attend. Other than that, all you can do is make your very best impression at recruitment and you will land where you are meant to be. Other OOS women will be in the same boat as you. There is not much you can do about it, and sororities understand that.

Also, as a counterpoint (playing devil's advocate here)...would you want to be part of a chapter that places significant weight on something as superficial as whether someone is OOS or instate? I hope not. If a chapter decides that they don't want you purely because you are from OOS, good luck and good riddance to them. Those women wouldn't have been the best sisters for you anyway.

??? Knowing one or more members is MAJOR at many Southern universities.

In all of my research, oos gals really don't have a tougher time getting into a sorority at any school. But there are SOME chapters that you have basically zero chance. Don't go in with expectations about best or even acceptable chapters. Be open to all of them, be prepared and you'll likely be just fine.

And get your recs.

I think this conversation has swayed too far in the "having someone to vouch for me doesn't matter" direction. Even for freshmen, having friends inside a chapter is a HUGE advantage. If you were on the high school cheer squad or volleyball team or whatever with a current sorority active, that is a BIG factor (positive or negative!) Those actives know before recruitment even begins if that chapter wants you or not. If you are OOS, you are extremely unlikely to have those advantages (or disadvantages.) That being said, not every in-stater will have those developed connections either.

However, you can't change it, so control what you can. Get recs. Be nice to people. Smile. You'll find friends.