Disrespected by an Alum
 

OK. Last year was my freshman year and I missed social rush. I was so sad about this, and then my boss at the time told me she was an alum for a service sorority, and while I wasn't really all that into service. I was totally looking for sisterhood to help me through my freshman year. (My boyfriend of four years joined a fraternity(SigEp) and I saw how much fun he was having, and what a great group of guys he got involved with) So I only got to attend one night of rush (service night) but the girls really seemed like a great group, and then bid day came and I got a bid. So I thought well it was obviously meant to be. I was VP of my pledge class, and I've done so much since I've been active to improve our sisterhood. This semester I was elect as Development Coordinator which is basically Alum relations, and expansions officer. I've given up countless hours of my time to plan an up coming alum dinner/fundraiser which included dinner, entertainment, and gifts for them. What was costing us a fortune was only going to cost them a $20 donation. I thought everything was going great until I received an email from our Alumnae Representative telling what a horrible job I was doing and how I she couldn't believe we had the nerve to ask the alums for money. She said they had founded us and that should have been enough, but what started out as 13 since I've been active has grown to 70 sisters. I just don't know what to do. I considered looking into a social sorority(since were not panhellnic we can join both) were I wouldn't be treated so bad, but now I'm just wondering if all alums act that way? :confused:

1) Suck it up and carry on. You're in it for the service.

2) My chapter has plenty of less than cordial alums.....NONE of them could stop us from doing our jobs or being Brothers.

3) Alums have made an investment into your chapter. Their unfriendliness may be because they feel out of the loop and unconsulted on certain affairs. Allow them to see your rationale for certain activities. Make them feel included as often as possible. And yes, alums do resent having to pay for things even if they have money -- especially if its something they never paid for before.

this just happened to me
 

please do not get upset! keep doing what you are doing and know that everything will turn out ok!!! this woman obviously has her panties in a bunch and is taking it out on you!

i was just recently on the planning committee for the 10th anniversary of my chapter and two of the founding sisters wrote emails to the same effect. the funny thing is that they thought they shouldn't have to pay $15 to come to the event bc they had "worked so hard for the chapter." well, i have been involved for 7 years (as collegiate and alum) and we have never, ever heard from either one of them, not even for an update in our newsletter! so, truthfully, we laughed at their ignorance and ridiculousness and went on! our event was operating on a bare bones budget supported only by the $15/pp. most of us on the committee ended up spending our own money to finance the event!

keep up the good work!! have fun at your event!!

You have just met one of many "cross/crass" peope that will pass your way in life. If you love your GLO, focus on the wonderful people that have come into your life.

Do NOT let some old biddy, who certainly lacks social graces, color your opinion of all alums. I would be HONORED to be invited to a social event of AXO with such a minimal "donation" requested. Even the SX "Wild Game Dinner" in Houston is not FREE to the Alums. Yet it is their MOST attended active/alum event of the year. (Or at least it was)

Why not spend a couple of EXTRA bucks (about the cost of two tickets) buy a plaque and hang her/their names up... Or better yet, tell her that if there is a "FINANCIAL STRAIN" for any alum, you would be HAPPY to wave their donation. Bet you wouldn't get a single taker.

Good grief, no WONDER some chapters don't like alums hanging around!

Thank you guys so much for the encouragement. The thing that bothered me the most was that I've never heard a word from this alum, but many others have emailed me and called me on several occassions to discuss things. I also do a monthly newsletter to all alums letting them know what's going on and inviting them to join in on the activities. This alum just happens to be one of our few local alums who never bothers to attend events. Thank you all though. We (myself, and the other officer who helped in planning) are still deciding if we should still have the dinner or not, but I've spent alot of time and out of pocket money to plan this so hopefully if nothing else it will be a good sisterhood function. Thank you all. I'll keep you updated on the events to come. :)

respond back to this alum in the nicest possible terms that the donation is necessary but if it is going to break her bank you can see if you can do something to help her. although it would suck to have to use chapter money hopefully she wouldn't accept.

The really bad part about this is that a few of the alums have emailed me back with full intentions of coming they don't see a problem with the donation, and are glad to help us. Some haven't been invited to anything since graduation! I really feel like the alum that griped is not a very good alumnae representative since she obviously only wants to represent the opinion of a few alums and not all. I just hope that the other officers still choose to have the dinner if nothing else just as a sisterhood function.

You're doing amazing things for your sorority -- take heart! Don't let this get you down, girl.

When we had our alumnae reunion, we were charged $60 each. That included the cost of a meal in a private room and a donation to our charity. I didn't think that it was too much, but some alumnae did and didn't attend. Everything costs money. I don't think that a $20 donation is too much to ask.

When I was an undergrad, my chapter sent out an alumnae newsletter which concluded with the sentence, "Alumnae donations are greatly appreciated." One alumna objected to this and told a sister that as soon as she saw that sentence, she threw out the newsletter. However, we also received several donations from many other alumnae who had no such objection.

The moral, don't let one person's negative reaction stop you from doing something that could ultimately benefit your chapter.

just keep doing what you're doing!
 

I love hearing from the young ladies from the college chapter. I am more involved with them than many other alums but the others also remark how nice it is to be contacted by them. Frankly, I expect to spend money! The trick is not to ask for money all the time. Invite them to activities that don't require anything from them, just have them come for the fun, fellowship, and sisterhood. After that, you'll find more and more willing to contribute financially too. And remember, you'll be in that spot in the future.....how will you react? As for the woman that responded negatively, let it go and focus on the other ones that are happy to hear from you.

Hang in there! You're doing awesome. If the others are supportive, then I wouldn't be too concerned with this one.

I am surprised that she would object to paying to go to an event...everything costs MONEY these days....

Anyhow, I wasn't sure which specific sorority you are in, but I can tell you that in Delta Gamma (and probably most of the NPC groups), alumnae are really supposed to pay alumnae dues every year, until the "finish". Does your sorority have this also, and is Ms. Grouchy a dues paying member each and every year?
I wonder...

I do agree with the eternal wisdom of JustAMom.
I also think you are on the right track of keeping alumnae in the loop...I can tell you that as an alumna, sometimes I do feel a bit left out. Just be careful that you are keeping a delicate balance of not soliciting money all the time (which I don't think you are)...no one likes to feel like people are only after their money.

As for Ms. Grouchy, who knows what triggered her reaction? I honestly don't think it was the letter that you sent out. Who knows, maybe her husband announces he's leaving her, or son announced that he is dropping out of school to form the next heavy metal rock band...whatever it was, something made her grouchy and she decided to take it out on you ("displaced aggression" - Psych 100)

Thanks you guys always make me feel better. As for CutiePie2000 question our sorority doesn't require anything of the alums. Actually we really work hard for the money we get. We only have 3 functions a year that require any money of them and usually it isn't much. My sorority does alot of fundraising, and we also participate in a Spirt contest that my school has where the top price is $8000. (We think we won last year, but they haven't anounced the winner yet) This one letter has really discouraged me and many others though. It makes you step back and look at your sorority and really think about your membership.

Re: Disrespected by an Alum
 

In a word, no.
Don't let her get you down!

Thanks LeslieAGD. Actually it's really funny, but I've got some friends who are AGD's on my campus and they've been telling me the same thing. They've been trying to recruit me for a while now. :) I've met some of their alums and alums from my boyfriend's fraternity (Sig Ep) and they all seem really nice and always glad to help out. I sure hope that she's just one alum who feels this way, but just to let everyone know as of today I only have one Maybe reply and several replies stating they will not be attending. And the dinner is next Saturday. :(

My chapter is in such a similar situation. Yesterday was homecoming and we had signs on our float saying Honoring the Alumnae of 72, 82, and 92 and then a BBQ for them afterwards...a lot of the alums from 72 helped us go national (we were Athenaeums and Alpha Theta Chi before) and you'd think they'd be there, but only 2 women showed up to ride in the parade, and then about 5 came to the house. There's about 10 girls who are alum but still in school here, and they didn't come at all. We were planning on asking for some money to improve the house with, as well as speicific items for the house, and all the donations we got were from the same few women. It's just really frustrating to watch the actives and my NM class work so hard to improve the chapter and get nothing from the alum...

So no, you aren't the only one! :D It sounds like you've done great work for OPA though, I'm proud of you. And on a side note, SigEp and their alums rock. Our chapter here is composed of the nicest guys ever.

Speaking as the Founder of my Chapter, there are many Alums like this ego centric person.

To this day, I am still very much involved in My Fraternity at the International and local level!

I send $50.00 a month to a building fund, pay for my Homecoming and Founders Day.

We also have many that dont do anything, but that is to be expected. Some cannot do while some can but do not.

Dont let one person use a crutch to make you feel bad. There may be a problem underlying somewhere else. Maybe feels left out.
Well, whose fault is that. If not interested enough then there should be no complaint.

Keep up the good work for you Organization. It will reward you in the long run

:)

geekypenguin-
although i agree that your alum could do more you have to remember that alums have jobs, families and other activities that prevent them from attending functions. that doesn't mean they don't want to be there, sometimes they just can't. while i would LOVE to attend homecoming and other activities there is just no way with the schedule i have. if they outright asked me for a donation, i would be happy to do it. last year was my chapter's 10th anniversary and AXO nationals came down, rented out the Jefferson Hotel (a very nice place) and had a huge party to celebrate. our national president was there! and although i was invited, there was just no way i could go there without taking off work which i can't do.

so while these activities are a must for actives and some alum who have the time and opportunity, it is just an impossible thing for others of us, even though we would love to be there.

one good way to get alum involved is to have an alum page on your chapter website. it always makes me so disappointed when i look at my chapter's page and there is NO MENTION of any alum and no pictures! that kills me.

also remember, just because an alum has a job doesn't mean she's in a great financial state. she may be struggling to make ends meet. not all alums can make donations. i know i couldn't until this year because of my financial state but i have yet to receive a solicitation.

You're welcome. Glad to to hear the Alpha Gams on your campus are so wonderful! ;) If you are interested in them, I would obviously say go for it, but don't do it just because you're frustrated with your service group and one very rude alum shot off her mouth off. No organization is without its faults.

I'm sorry to hear the planning isn't going well, but hopefully things will improve before Saturday! :)

Cash78 very good point!

It is a 2 way street as my chapter complained about the Alum involvement but they did nothing to keep in touch with the Alums. They got into drug and other stupid problems.

5 years ago, I got upset and we have been working to get Alums back involved in many asspects. Many are tickled to death that they are now hearing from Alums and Actives about what is going on in one of the most important times of their lives.

Is something that one never forgets.

Some of my Best Brothers and Friends are guys who came after me at the Fraternity. We are doing things together showing and working with the Chapter what it means.

This also includes Brothers from across the country, many of whom have been and I have met through GC.

I give thanks that John H has set up this Site or would not have met Great Guys like Jono, Lifesaver, TKE711, and all of the rest of you wonderful people!

OOPS, just dismissed the Ladies of the Site and Apologize!

It is a life long thing, not just 4-5 years!

Wow, doubleblue&gold had a great point. I hadn't even considered that -- the alumna are probably DYING to be invited to something where it's clear no one is interested in their money!



btw, some alumnae are INCREDIBLE -- I should know, we have some! It's just like active sisters -- some are fantastic, some not so much.

You have totally great points, I think I just didn't clarify myself well. What really annoyed me weren't the alum that didn't come down at all, but the alums that came down and did not even stop at the house, but just hit the bars (there were about 10 of these.) Also, alum dues for us are a paltry $35 a year and I realize that many people may be in a bad financial spot, but if all the actives can pay what we do, I think at least half the alum, rather than a handful, should pay their dues. I know that for a while I'll be paying off undergrad and grad loans, but if I'm ever in town I'll at least respect the chapter enough to stop by, which is really all we wanted.

Our org doesn't have alum dues. So we don't have an obligation to pay. Yet those who are involved do - whether it's $$ or time.

But these alums who say, "I founded you, I did so much work, so I won't give you money now," are the same ones who will say, "Oh, I don't need to give money back to my alma mater, tuition was soooo expensive." Guess what, the cost of an undergraduate education is FOUR TIMES what an undergrad pays (assuming he or she gets NO financial aid). A sorority is a little like that. Your undergrad dues don't cover your house, all your national officers, etc. It's the support of general alums that make up the rest.

And while founding something is great, staying with it is even better. Of AXD's ten founders, the ones we hear about most are those who remained involved all their lives. And the girls in my chapter today? The chapter founders they knew and respected were the ones who still advised them, came by, etc.

Now if someone is truly broke - or is no longer interested in her group - sure, I wouldn't expect her to give money. I think the maxim, "From each according to their means" is a good one. After all, at an event like this - even most of the poorest alums will probably be financially better off than the students, and I'm assuming the students are paying to attend.

Sorority membership - service or social - isn't something you do until you've met your "quota" of giving and then you're set for life, where you sit back on your laurels and let the active members pamper you! Sure, you can stop giving back at any time, but 99% of the time that means getting out of the loop, so to speak. Your cranky alums can't have it both ways.

OPAGirl, I have visited the AGD houses last spring since my hubby's family lives in BG. Only a few sisters were in the house since school was almost out, but they were very friendly!

As for alumnae, yes, you will always have those who wouldn't donate if their life depended on it or show up for an event if it was held across the street....so what!

Unfortunately, sometimes people will come only if they KNOW that someone that they knew in school is coming, but you can't have Evite for everything, lol. Besides, how can they meet their wonderful younger or older members if they don't show up?

Have your event! I'm sure that it will become another memorable event that the attendees will talk about for years!

Best of luck and have fun!

Decision
 

Well, we had a meeting (the president and myself) and she told me she'd decided to postpone the event until later on in the semester so maybe more alums would attend. So I asked during the chapter meeting that if anyone would like to help plan the event that they stay after for like 2 mins. and talk to me. Since it was someone currently active in the sorority that was bad mouthing the event to the alums. But not a single person stayed after to say they'd like to help with the event. It's really frustrating to know that no one really even cares. :(

OPA, Keep a stiff upper lip!

It does get very frustrating alot.

It will take hard work!

It always takes the few to do for the many. That is so unfortunately the case.

Keep working on it and hopefully more will come and see what they are missing.:)

As I said in aonother post, when you have Brothers from 25 + at an Alum B & B (Beer/Bullshit) meeting laffing so damn hard they are crying about some of the stories, it is worth everything that you have done!:D

If you have the time use it and do, for yo are one of the ones who want to do!!!!!! Will Do!!!!!!!!:)

Hang in Kiddo, it will get better!

OPAGal, I'm sorry the event has been postponed. :(

Every organization has trouble keeping all their alums involved. Just remember that when it's your turn and stay active---that's the only way things will change.

Wow- I just stumbled onto this thread today, and it really made me feel like I am not the only one out there questioning the motives and behvior of alumni. I am an alum who was on our university's planning committee for homecoming. I spent my own money on obtaining a roster of all initiated members from my org, and mail merging it into a label template, typing and printing newsletters and sending them to over 500 alum. I spent countless hours getting the newsletters ready, and also following up with approx. 200 phone calls (I couldn't contact everyone.) The newsletter announced chapter achievements, officers, recruitment information, and invited the alums back for an all-Greek social the evening of homecoming. The active chapter had not done a newsletter in several years, so I thought this would be a wonderful way to get in touch with the alums and get them involved.

The alums that showed up found me (the alumni relations advisor) and swarmed around me after the morning parade saying they were furious b/c there was no "function" at the chapter house to honor them! They said they were expecting a brunch or at the very least nametags and an introduction to some of the actives. As the actives were off at lunch with their family and two of our homecoming reps, there were not many at the house. They never have sponsored any type of brunch or organized reception that I know of for over 12 years. However, these alumni were maybe 8 years out, and had apparently came out for a gripe session. One even demanded an advisory position immediately! They topped it off by saying they had been so upset by upon going to the chapter house, they yelled outside "We are never giving any of our money to you all! We had considered it, but you missed out! One lady laughed and said it was because she wanted to let the actives know how upset and furious they were. As far as I know, none of these people (or very many others) give to the active chapter as alumni.

I tried to explain the chapter had never promised any event or brunch at the house. I tried to keep smiling and invited them to the all-Greek party later that night (which by the way they ALL came too!)

Finally, I was stunned when they cornered our collegiate recruitment chair (with her family and friends around her) at one of the fraternity houses and began grilling her too - even going so far as to demand to know why they had not made quota and making her feel bad about recruitment. It was mortifying! I felt so angry and upset, but I didn't want to say anything rude or inappropriate.

One of the ladies keeps calling me about getting on the advisory board. I need some advice from the experts who have already commented (or want to comment) on how I should handle this situation, and the peristant lady interested in an advisor position. I believe she should in some way be told how their behavior was uncalled for and offensive to the chapter and to me. However, how can I say this in a polite, tactful manner? Thanks! :confused:

Old bat alumna viewpoint
 

Lady Blondie,

It sounds like you were a victim of the "telephone game"! You know, the game at parties where the phrase starts as one thing and by the time it gets through 15 people, it's totally different.

I would wager that some of the alums got the invites and called other alums...and so on and so on...and along the way, the "all Greek reception" got turned into "sorority luncheon." It would have been nice, though, to have at least some of the actives at the house during the day for the alums who might stop in - I know at my school that was always standard practice even if the group wasn't having a tea or luncheon.

Plus, there are more alums than you would believe who get what mail comes from national and what comes from the local chapter confused. When national sends out the annual (or twice or thrice annual) letters for donations, a lot of alums think that's coming directly from the chapter, when actually they have nothing to do with it. So when they finally get a letter that ISN'T a request for $$ and show up with nothing planned specifically for them, it can tick them off. I know duh-ness doesn't excuse rudeness but I am just trying to explain where their heads might have been.

The rush chair thing at the fraternity party though, was over the top. I realize if they have concerns, concerns they want to get them across - that means they still care - however you should do it in a nice way and definitely not in a public place.

To top it all off, until you get old and tired enough not to care, sometimes Homecoming can be full of **drama drama drama** (yes I do mean boy stuff) that unfortunately gets taken out on your friends & sisters.

I would set up a time to meet with the woman who wants to be an advisor and just tell her that you and the actives were very upset and felt like they were getting reamed out for stuff that wasn't their fault. Sit down and talk it out before it gets worse. She might end up being someone who could contribute a lot.

I'm sorry that you have had such bad alumnae experiences. I think that 33 girl is right on target (as usual :) ) about the alumnae confusion. These women were out of line to be so rude to the chapter sisters especially the sister that they grilled. I don't understand that type of behavior. I mean do these alumnae think that they will receive another invitation after they treated the sisters so rudely? :confused: They forget that when they walked by or into the sorority house, they were walking into a home. They should have behaved like guests and respected the residents. If they had a problem, they could have resolved it in the future at another place and time. They should have appreciated the effort you put forth and plan an even bigger and better reunion for next time. Now the sisters probably hope there won't be a next time. :(

Boy do I hear this one! In my position with my sorority, I help oversee volunteer placements and I can tell you I've had a few conversations with alumnae who just don't get it. Its tough but I have found that it is best to be honest and direct-- and keep the chapter out of it. I would ask this woman why she is interested in being on the advisory board. What is she interested in doing? And find out what she has to offer. Then, politely, inquire about why she was so upset at homecoming and possibly help her understand that as an advisor it would be important for her to support the chapter, offer advice, but not be offended if the chapter did not follow her advice as it is their chapter to operate. I have found, on more than one occasion, that this helps put things in perspective. Importantly, as fellow alumnae, we can't be afraid to confront is a respectful manner. If that doesn't work then I say tell her that you have reservations about her placement and but will keep her in mind in the future.

In my professional life, I am a fundraiser for a major institution of higher education-- and I can tell you that the one's who bark the loudest are usually the ones who just want an excuse for why they can't give their time or money. I often find that these people just don't 'get' what the mission and values of the institution are all about or that they are very resistant to change. In which case, you probably wouldn't want these people around anyway-- right?? The people who are worth the effort are the ones that explain their reservations-- and give you a chance to help change their perceptions. Those are the people I would spend my time worrying about. Doesn't sound like there are any in these situations!

I don't know why alums do the things they do-- but I really think it is a matter of them not understanding that things change or that they hold on to some mentality that they are better that those who come after them (a plague of our greek system!) I encourage you to keep the contact going-- don't ask for money everytime-- and make sure you are asking your alums about what they would like to do for the group as well.

Thanks for a different perspective on things. I think the "phone game" may have been part of the culprit, not to mention the fact that Homecoming and Reunions don't always ensure a "happy" reuniting between "sisters." I guess some folks just want to stir up trouble and they have nothing better to do than come back after being out of school for 10 years and cause a scene. Maybe they just feel left out and want to blame someone. Who knows!? I really was horrified though, and the episode at the frat house was MOST embarassing! Perhaps alumni do experience the roller coaster effect you describe....they don't hear from the chapter or anyone for a few years, and then when they do, they may feel ousted and out of touch. After a while, I guess some folks just get bad feelings about stuff. Bummer! Come on alums - try to remember what it was like when you were in school!

LadyB, I do not know how long you have been an alum, but it aint as long as I have!

When Actives act like they did it all, they are full of them selves and also Sh&T

If it were not for teh Alums, they would not have the chance to try to be smart asses to you! I know I was there and have seen it as I was told that one night!

Well the wrath came down upon the piss ants head! We were the first to not do hazing, but I weill not put up with some of the things that go on and they know it!

I am still a member and he is not! So taht tells you something!

Just point out, if I had not done what I did where would you be?

I am also a tired out typo cowboy!:D

Keep your head up as you desearve it!:cool:

our sorority just held one of our annual events, a mr. and miss competition. we decorate and plan everything for the event. contestants compete for a $100 prize. this was one of my first events as a new member. one of the alumni was quite upset. she sought out one of my pledge class sisters and told her she couldn't believe we even put the event on and that we did everything wrong. most everyone thought the whole event had run smoothly. it was quite upsetting to say the least. this was the first year alot of us girls were helping out, we were just pledges a month ago. so we had no real idea about how stuff was supposed to be. and her she's complaining to us.
perhaps things were ran differently when she was around, i don't know. if she was so disappointed i wish she would have offered to help out instead of yelling and putting us down. but if things were supposed to have gone differently i wish they would have informed us. or our older active sisters.
she is not one of the alumni that isin't able to contact us. her younger blood sister is an active sister and they live in the same house. not really sure what to do.
TIRAMASU
DELTA PHI MU

Tell her straight up, shut up and help or get out of the way!

If she whats to give critcisim then put forth some effort to help!

It is always easy to sit in the cheap seats and bitch about everything!

These in the Baseball arena are called the boo birds! Boo to everything!:mad:

Best of luck and hold your head hi for being the % that is doing and not sitting!:cool: :D :)

As the President of my local alumnae chapter, my philosophy has always been if they're going to complain, they better be willing to help out. If they aren't willing to help (or offer other ideas) than they have no right to complain.

Ignore the alumnae who complain and focus on those who don't. Rather than say anything about those alums who won't pay, thank the ones who do pay, publicly.

We have trouble getting alumnae to actually join our chapter (they just come to some events and get our newsletter) so every fall I take the tact of publicly thanking all those who did pay on our email distribution. Maybe eventually the rest will pay.

As an alumnae who is active in supporting my local collegiate chapter, there are a lot of reasons alumnae don't come to things. Unfortunately, a lot of them are no longer interested after they graduate. Another problem for us, is a lot of them come from out of state to go to school, and then return to their home state.

Don't get discouraged when alumnae don't show up, just keep trying. We just like to feel wanted.............

QT Pir - what a horrible thing for the alums to say! I think advisors need to remember that they are there to do just as the name implies - advise. When I was a recruitment advisor, I offered my opinion, and if I felt pretty strong about something, I strongly advise etc...However, if the girls did not follow my advice, I did not get mad and start putting them and the chapter down. The collegiates have to make their own decisions about the chapter that they are currently a part of. Alums should only be there to offer assistance and support when needed. However, when alums are helps, be sure and let them know so they will come back the next time!

That's awful! Thankfully, the alum who is our chapter advisor rocks! I am grateful to not have to put up with hateful ones.

In rereading these post again, it brings 2 things to mind!

We had our 30 th Founders Day Anniverasry and I worked very hard to get Brothers there! We had 80 + show up and were from all over. It made the Active Chapters eyes bug out! Brothers who I had not seen since Graduation were there and Damn Was I glad to see some of them and hopefully seeing me!

It gave a very strong feeling of Brotherhood that weekend!

The 2 nd one is when I attended the B N Chapters 30 th in Fl. I was invited down as a guest speaker by a Brother from BN who I have never met but talk with a lot on the phone! So it waqs the first time ever that I met him face on!

They had Brothers from all over the country in attendance and they were spectacular with the treatment that they gave me. I became an honoray member of the Chapter very early on!

I know that this is only 2 examples and I can speak from being at many Chapters that some treated me like a Brother and one did not! The +'s out weighted the -'s.

If there are some that come back and act like they are the Lord of The Rings, then they really dont know the True meaning of Brotherhood/Sisterhood!!

It is strictly their loss isnt it!!!!!!!!