Wedding Detail
 

My friend Anna and I were talking last night about some past and upcoming weddings. She asked me what my friend Lisa did at my friend Cari's Wedding. I told her Lisa and another girl handed out programs. Then I went on to say that the one girl held a basket with the programs and Lisa just stood there with her. So Ana summed up the situation by saying, "So let me get this straight, the other girl was the "program attendent" and Lisa was what, the "junior program attendent?" Exactly!!!

It amazes me that your "friends" will ask you to take care of these things for them. I mean, here in the south it is perfectly okay to ask someone to serve cake and punch at your wedding. I personally think that asking someone you consider a "friend" should not be asked to do anything other than be a bridesmaid. If you can't do that then just have them be a guest at the wedding.

So, what are some of the things you have been asked to do for "friends" at weddings?

No, no... that is not polite at all! The caterer should serve the cake and punch! If these people are important enough to be at your wedding, they should be sharing in the joy and celebration of it.

I think having people handing out programs is okay because it is before the ceremony and the reception, so they don't miss out on anything... or having them do a guest book. After all, you want someone friendly and nice giving all the other guests a good first impression. However, I have to say that in my circle, it is sort of looked on as the "fifth-runner-up" postion... it's what people give to people out of obligation (like to a cousin, or an acquaintance/friend from work), not because they are close.

Here's another question... have you ever had a friend who had their "less attractive" friends do the guest book even if they are kind of close, just so the pretty friends are the ones in the pictures? I have heard of that happening... how sad!

I was in a wedding a few weeks ago and all the bridesmaids were large chested women and the bride wasn't so she said it was her big titty committee and her.. that was funny, though. But she told us all not to wear any bras that would enhance our busts because she didn't want her face hidden by breasts. I thought that was funny.

The guest book and program things are really popular for sorority sisters that you wanted to include, but you can't have a wedding party of eight. It is also good for HIS relatives you don't want in but his mom insists or a cousin you don't like your mom insists on.

Having someone in charge of cutting the cake, handing out programs, being responsible for the guest book, etc. is a tradition at every Southern wedding I've attended (and I've been to many). It's the bride's way of letting her friends know that she wants them to share in her special day.

Not everyone can be a bridesmaid -- the cost would be too great. So this is a way for close friends to still be included in the ceremony and for people to know "hey, this attendant is a close friend/relative" even though the person may not be in a bridesmaid's dress or a groomsman's tuxedo.

Most of the time, the people who are asked to be cake cutters and things of that nature are just "honorary" attendants -- which means that they don't actually cut the cake. They just get to wear a nice corsage that lets folks know that the bride or groom singled them out as a special acquaintance. :)

dzrose93 is right. It is definitely a tradition at Southern weddings. I was the cake cutter at Hubby's cousin's wedding, and was honored that she would think to include me (he was a groomsman).

At my wedding I actually had my only girl cousin and some of my younger sister's closest friends do those things. I had a sorority sister and one of Hubby's fraternity brothers perform the readings during the ceremony. We still wanted them as part of the ceremony but didn't really have room for them as a b-maid/g-man.

Oh, DZRose93, thank you for your explanation. While my family is originally from the South, I grew up elsewhere. Here we defintely have the guest book/program people (and the readers, singers, etc... in the ceremony), but not cake cutters.

I am not so shocked and appalled now as before when I was imagining these poor girls sweating and working their little tushes off... running around the room trying to make sure that everyone had sufficient punch!

for my wedding, i am having a 4 of my friends as official greeters at the church, 2 to give out programs, one to do the sign in book, and one to take coats and jackets...or help any elderly people that may need help. i think with catholic weddings, there are a lot more things that people can be assigned to do, like readings and bringing up the gifts, ect.. its a great way to incorporate everyone. and people, esp. friends, are more than willing to help and do anything that you ask, as long as you don't turn into bride-zilla.

Re: Wedding Detail
 

LOL! No problem... :)

That's a pretty funny mental picture. I can just imagine my youngest female cousin running all over the reception hall with a pitcher of punch. :D :D :D

New Englander here... Here it would be tacky to ask a friend/relative to serve cake and punch - that's what the caterer is for.

I asked my 3 closest female friends, and my husband asked his 3 closest male friends, to be in the wedding party. 5 of the 6 had SO's, so we asked 4 of them to hold our chuppah (Jewish wedding canopy that the bride and groom stand under during the ceremony), and we asked the fifth to keep an eye on everyone's handbags so that nothing wandered off.

I'd like to think I wasn't bridezilla :)

Hey....from the Canadian East coast perspective....

Art and I wanted to keep our wedding party small and even (ie. we wanted even numbers of girls and guys) Art doesn't have a lot of friends, while I have tons! If I could, I would have had all my sisters standing with me (now that would have been a HUGE wedding party!) But, things like that get very expensive, quickly.

We ended up with 3 on each side. I had one of my sisters as a bridesmaid (she was the one who called me to give me a bid and has been such a great friend and sister ever since...she is one of my best friends now!)

I had one of my sorority sisters do a reading during the ceremony, 2 hand out programs and bubbles before the ceremony, and 2 take polaroids for my guestbook (we had a photo book where guests signed their best wishes next to a pic of them!:D) ALL of them felt very honored to be included in even this small way in my wedding.

From the time I started planning, all my sisters wanted to help wherever they could. While I wish I could have included all of them in some way, I chose the ones closest to me to help out. I gave each of them a wrist corasage of yellow roses (our sorority flower) to acknowledge their help....and sat them at a table of honored guests at the front of the reception...and thanked each of them in my programs. I also included my sorority in a small way by having a yellow rose (our flower) in the center of my cascading purple and white rose bouquet (my bridesmaid/sorority sister also had a yellow rose). Everyone asked about the rose in the center...and I responded saying "This is a small way of including all my sisters in my wedding day...they are a big part of my life and I wanted to show my sisterly love"

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know my sisters who helped me out felt it was an honor and not a burden or something wrong that I had asked them to "help" me out on my wedding day!:)

I have no problem with the programs/favor/guestbooks duties being doled out to friends. I know that I won't have more than 3 bridesmaids and 1 maid of honour. Therefore, the umpteen friends/sorority sisters/female relatives who I'd like to be in the wedding in some way will do things like this. Maybe it's because I'm from the South, but it doesn't offend me AT ALL. We can't always be bridesmaids, now can we? :p

I am from the south too and I think before I started college I had only been to southern weddings. For those of you who don't know, a southern wedding consists of a church ceremony and a "reception" in a room within the church. The food consists of cake, mints, nuts and punch. If they are really fancy you will have a table with an assortment of finger foods. You then go outside and throw birdseed or blow bubbles. The whole affair is 2 hours tops.

No one in My family has ever had a wedding with dancing and dinner. That is a Yankee influence. I love the south and its' traditions, but the wedding is one thing Yankee's do MUCH MUCH better than we.

How do you include the groom's sister, or the bride's brother?

As mentioned by Maggie and Sisterplum a reading is (to me) the best honor you can give to someone other than asking them to be a bridesmaid.

How this works is that they will come up during the ceremony and read an apropriate selection from the Bible.

I'm glad I'm a Yankee. At least part. Thanks MOM!

I just got married in May (in the South) and my reception was not at a church. In fact, I've been to very few church receptions. My reception was held at a country club and included an oldies band, lots of dancing, and a full meal. It wasn't all that different from every other wedding I've been to down here.

As far as the program attendant goes, I did not have one. I've done that for people before and it just really is a headache. Not an honor at all IMO. I had the ushers hand out programs as they sat the guests.

Just wanted to add that I was married in the South too, and my wedding was complete with reception at a banquet room with dinner, dancing and *alcohol* :D I will also add that most of the weddings that I have been to throughout North Florida and Georgia also had these things...

Yes, the few Southern weddings I have been to have also included a full-course meal and alcohol!

Of course! How could I forget to mention that we also had alcohol - a full open bar. We had been warned about people getting out of hand if we provided that, but nobody got ridiculously drunk.

I've never attended a reception at a church. :confused:

Weddings and Cake Servers
 

All of the weddings that I have ever attended have had cake servers that were either family or friends. Where I was raised, it was considered an honor to be included in the wedding party as a cake server, program attendant, or punch server. As a cake server, program attendant, or punch server, you attended the rehearsal dinner, and were given wedding party flowers and were included some of the formal pictures.

On a personal note, I had a large wedding party including a cake server, program attendant, and a punch server plus the bridesmaids, groomsmen and ushers; I had 13 attendants and my husband had 11 groosmen and ushers. Everyone had a GREAT time.....
AOIIsilver

I've been to, and been in many southern weddings. And zero have had receptions in a church.

It must be a New Orleans thing, but we dispense with the sit-down dinner, and have a buffet and an open bar. We get right to the fun.

Another thing that I think is particular to New Orleans is the cake pull. The baker puts small silver charms on a ribbons between two layers of the cake. All the unmarried bridesmaids gather around the cake, choose a ribbon and pull. Each charm means a different thing - love, money, etc.

I have never been to Louisiana but I have heard that it is like a whole different country. Is that true?

*Still bitter about "best" friend's wedding*...

Wanna talk about rudeness... I hadn't seen my best friend for nine years...I flew all the way from Indiana to New York on my spring break from college to go to her stinking wedding, because "I was the maide of honor"...At least that's what I was being told...The WONDERFUL *gag* story goes as follows...

Get to NY, start hanging out with Sally (name changed...I don't really know anyone named Sally)...I ask what I should wear to the wedding cuz I'm retarded and the dress I brought was black.. Good 'ol Sal tells me 'not to worry about it' because I 'have surprises coming to me that I don't know about'. This is after being told for months that I'm the maid of honor... What would you assume??

The wedding is getting near...All the bride's maid's are picking up their dresses, making appts for hair & nails, etc...."Hey Sally, what should I wear?? Should I make any appointments?? How should I do my hair??".... "Oh don't worry about it, I told you, you have surprises coming to you that you don't know about!!".

Rehearsal comes along...my dad and I are both told we have to come... Correct me if I'm wrong, but usually only people in the actually wedding party need to go to that (well, including I guess parents and the priest and whatnot, but yeah....). Mmmmhmmm, you guessed it, we get to sit and watch rehearsal... And not only do I get to MEET her real bridesmaid, I'm pretty sure that I wasn't thrilled about it... Yet I'm told that I have a reserved spot in the limo, which is reserved for the wedding party only... *Confused at this point*.

After rehearsal, we go to where we're having the reception to set it up...We're setting up the table up front for the bridal party... No spot for me. "But don't worry, there are things I don't know about"...

Next day we get all the jewelry, the altered dresses/suits, the rest of the shoes, and the bridesmaid's "gifts"....Alright...

Day of the wedding...Amy doesn't get her hair done, doesn't get her nails done, doesn't get her make-up done (they went all out), and had nothing to wear other than what I brought from home...

I know the suspense is killing you, right? What did I get to do at the wedding??... Well now you know: NOTHING!!! That's right, nada... In fact, THAT DAY I got designated to be THE DJ AT THE RECEPTION because 'they didn't want to pay for one'. Thanks Sal, 10-4 good buddy.

The capper on the whole situation was this... Sally and Jason were leaving from their reception to go on their honeymoon... So we're saying goodbye to them (my dad and I) and what happens?? I get a hug and all Sally says is "Don't make it another nine years kid".... That's IT...My dad is next in line.. Right, of course she starts crying, talking about how she can't wait to see him again even though he's not gone yet, how great it was to see him, etc etc etc....

Wonderful wedding I'd say...wouldn't you?

DigitalAngel... ouch!! I can see why you're bitter :(

That sounds very similar to a British tradition for New Year's (I think - it might be Christmas). You bake a fruitcake with several little silver charms in it, and serve it to your guests. If you find a charm in your slice of cake, it indicates your fortune for the coming year - you'll find true love, receive a large sum of money, etc.

It depends - if you get lost up in the bowels of cajun country near Lafayette, or up in North Louisiana (lower Arkansas) its like being in the Waterboy and Deliverance, respectively.

Life in New Orleans is "normal" I guess. I've never lived anywhere else, so I wouldn't know. We like to have fun, and find a way to make everything fun. That's probably the biggest difference. We've got festivals every weekend of the year.

And Mardi Gras is NOT like what you see on TV. Burbon St. is only a small part of the fun. Most of the city's residents don't do that scene too much - its touristy. Mardi Gras is about royalty and balls and parades and being with family and friends. Not ending up on the cover of Girls Gone Wild ;)