The Flip Side of Things
 

Pledge's thread got me thinking: what happens when you HAVE tried to do something about it and it doesn't work?

My chapter is the smallest house, and not only that, we're known as the Animal House on campus. I've tried to change that; the pledges are going through a better pledge program, and I've tried to contact the sororities on campus to try and do events with my pledges with them.

Therein lies the problem: Since we're the smallest house and all, most of the sororities either give me a run around as to who to contact, or just flat out tell me that they only do events with the "bigger, better" houses on campus. And they still essentially laugh when we invite them to our parties. I mean, having the random girls we get at our parties is fun, but sorority interaction is somewhat important right?

So, what should I do?

That is a good question that i'm still trying to find the answer to. After is all is said and done, what do you do when you're still getting nothing? Maybe have non-greek parties to stir up some buzz?

Oh yeah we've done that, but all that does is bring in more random people, which is good, but doesn't accomplish that goal.

I totally understand! Last night we had our first mixer in 2 years with a fraternity that wasn't our "brother" fraternity. And, there were tons of problems.

My campus adopted the "Alcohol Free Event Policy" 2 years ago, which prohibited us from drinking at mixers. So, the social chair decided not to call anyone and ask if they wanted to mix. Well, finally, this social chair set up some mixers for us. The first one was last night. I was excited, I'd never mixed with this group before, but I guess that some of my sisters overheard some of their brothers saying "Oh yeah, we have to mix with them tonight, what a waste of time" so all my sisters got p!ssed. But we went and had a good time. Now the problem is getting the "big" fraternities to mix with us. So, I feel your pain!

One thing I would suggest to you is doing something nice for the sororities and showing them that you are a great group of guys. A new fraternity colonized at my school last year and they took each sorority the sorority's flower and a card that all the brothers signed. At a mixer that they had this semester, they cooked dinner for all the sisters. Do stuff like that, to get your name out and show that you are fun!

Find another fraternity that mixes a little more than you and ask them if they want to have a date party or quad. Some of the most "prestigeous" events at my school were ones that fraternities threw together every year because there were more boys and more money to make it WAY more fun!

Edited to add:

Also, ask a sorority to do something on a week night... if a fraternity called us and said they had rented a bar for a Thursday night and would like us to come (and didn't make us help with the expenses), we would usually accept... it's feasible at a smaller bar usually.

Or, do non-alcoholic events with the sororities. Invite them over on a week night to watch "Survivor" and have a tropical-themed dinner and tell everyone to wear Hawaiian attire (guess that might not be the best theme now that "Survivor" is in Thailand but you get the idea).

Also, little things can help you get on their good side. Send them notes to wish them happy holidays. Take them candy for Halloween. Serenade them LOTS! Surprise them by having your guys show up at their house with ice cream or something... Invite all the sororities to your philanthropy (a popular one at our school... have a bachelor auction and get guys from ALL the fraternities and sports teams to be auctioned off).

was post deleted?:confused: Or did not post right?

Stan,I can totally identify with your situation. When I first pledged at Ball State in the late 80s,my chapter had 13 brothers and 13 pledges. We decided we wanted to change things around, and we won Greek Week that year (back when Greek Weeks were still competitive) part of our prize was a free skating party with the winning sorority, who happened to be Chi Omega, and who were easily the most sought after sorority back then. A free skating party, and basically they had an excuse every time we tried to schedule it with them. For two years we tried to have this skating party and it never happened. What's truly ironic though, is that most of our alumni from the 1970s all seemed to be married to Chi Omegas! Apparently at one time, we were good enough to marry, but not roller skate with! But that's not helping you with your problem...

If no sorority as SDSU wants to mix with you guys, try inviting a sorority from USD or another school that's nearby. I know this happened a lot with some schools in Indiana. Wabash College is the last all Men's school in the U.S., and has a very big fraternity system. They used to pair with sororities from DePauw, Butler, Purdue, even Ball State (which is quite a ways away).

Also, are there any sororities that aren't considered as "desirable" among the fraternities at SDSU? If there are, these groups will probably be more likely to want to have mixers or do something with your chapter.

Finally, invite individual sorority women that you know and are friends with to come to some of your events. It can take awhile, but this is a good way to build up a following. It worked with my chapter, and eventually several women from the same sorority who had come to our parties and other events, and who knew us to be nice guys asked in their chapter, "Why don't we ever do anything with the Phi Sigs?" and got our foot in the door.

Good luck, I hope this helps.:)

Try hooking up with a sorority that has a similar rep as you guys (IF there is one).

Like someone said earlier, try to do something during the week first that isn't a party. Get each other acquianted first. Hopefully, they will see you guys as good friends than just a small fraternity.
Then they will more likely do things with you all.

Yes, I'd say start with the smaller sororities - don't make the same mistake they're making.

One thing I found: Fraternities we wouldn't normally mix with, we were willing to do some sort of philanthropy event together. (I'm talking a one-day project, not an annual flagship event.) That can get the ball rolling to do more social mixers later on.

Plus, make 'em have a debt in your chapter's favor so they owe you a mixer! Send them flowers on their founders day (their flower, of course). Go serenading, assuming you can sing. Be one of the chapters that sends nice cards at Christmas, cards congratulating their new members, etc. It's kind of like a positive guilt trip.

Oh yeah, I forgot... ask one of the sororities to play on a co-ed intramural team with you!

Thanks so much guys for all the suggestions.

man, Stan i think you just described our chapter too. minus the Animal House. i think we kind of have the nerd fraternity rep at UCI. Only 2 sororities here have ever really given us an opportunity to hang out. Part of the reason is that we've never had a lot of stability at the social chair position. We have 18 guys as compared to the bigger chapters of 80 to 100 guys. One thing that seems to work is to ask the bigger sororities i they can send a few of their girls over. I can only imagine how much harder it is at a huge school like SDSU(im from san Diego) so i ve seen how hard it can be there. PM me or something if you want to exchange ideas.

Man, I know exactly what you mean, but actually the Greek Scene at SDSU is at a lower scale, theres at least 2 other houses with the same number of guys (20-30). It's like Baseball here: you got the small markets, the middle guys, the big guys, then the Yankees (That would be SAE and Sigma Chi).

The tides are starting to change thanks to the new row, but the problem with our chapter is leadership. Our president got his title when he was still a freshman, and I became pledge master the semester after I pledged. Plus on top of all that, I'd like to quote what someone at an IFC meeting said:

"Delta Sig cares more about getting drunk than getting pledges."

The problem is a lot of my bros LOVE being the Animal House, which doesn't help in terms of Panhellenic relations. Sure we throw some awesome parties, but there's also another side to being a fraternity member, which my bros still don't get.

But we're young, we've only been back for a couple of years, but have a rich tradition on campus (we're the third oldest national fraternity at SDSU), and I think we're doing fine with what we have, and things can only get better.

BTW, where in San Diego are you from? I'm from national City/Paradise Hills, near the Mexican border.

I wish we even had a reputation as a party fraternity because at UCI its what seems to get guys. Kappa Sig and Phi Psi both throw kick ass parties and get a lot of guys every quarter. To me,at UCI, if youre not the stereotypical frat boy, its hard to rush. A lot of the guys we have seem to more concerned with playing video games and watching anime that trying to work out exchanges, or even just going out to get our name more recognized. Our chapter was recolonized in '99, but before that we were the top dogs, over 120 men, great parties, powerful in IFC and in student government. Unfortunately, there seem to be only a few guys in our chapter that want to get back to the old days. I love Phi Delt but i get easily frustrated with apathy because im afraid it will kill our chapter.

PS: I live i Kensington, its on the border of City Heights kind of, off the 15.

1) One of my good friends lives in kensington, that video store kicks ass.

2) What high school did you go to? I went to SCPA (if you ever heard of it)

3) Before we were kicked out, we had at one point 120 guys and had one of the best reps on campus, but we eventually dwindled down but still had some awesome years. Then we were kicked out and had to rebuild.....

4) Why were you guys kicked out?

Haha, that video store does kick ass, my friend's little brother used to work there. I went to La Jolla High, even though it was like 30 minutes away, my parents felt it was better than our neighborhood school(Hoover). Ive heard of SCPA, i think my parents looked at it when we first moved here. We were kicked out because we lost our house and then a lot of the bros felt that smoking pot was more important than rushing.

lol I wouldn't wish going to Hoover on my enemies.

The SDSU Phi Delt chapter has a weird story. They came in the late 80s, got HUGE really quick, and rented out a house near the gamma Phi house. They eventually lost members due to financial reasons (they got in WAY over their heads), and dwindled down to 5 before being shut down in 1995 by our current IFC advisor, Troy Bartels, a Phi Delt alum.

Troy is really cool..i met him at comvention this past summer. I wish we could come back to SDSU so i could have a place to chill when i came home. I actually recently found out that my cousin is a Phi Delt from SDSU in like '92 i think.

That's cool man, to find out that youre were somewhat of a legacy AFTER you had joined.

With the way things are, the LAST thing we need is another IFC house on campus lol.

Stan, don't be disgruntled
Believe me things can change very quickly. As you know we're getting chartered Nov. 16. We started out in Spring of 2000 with like 5 guys recruited from Nationals. Eventually through lots and lots of recruitment ideas, numbers built up, quality was put into place and wha-lah Theta Phi Chapter. I think it is very hard to break the mold of other fraternities on campus that have been at your campus for a long time because people associate the greek world with them because they are long-standing. The thing is we have the animal house rep, big time. People all over the city now have a tendency to know who we are. It's great to see this colony now ranked 3rd in numbers and second in grades last semester. People have a tendency to kick you when ur down, but they also have a tendency to jump on the wagon when it rolls by. We perservered through a hazing incident, financial problems, and a split in the fraternity to produce a great chapter. I don't think we would be doing as well if those things didn't happen. All said, we now have a pledge class of 27. Our largest yet.

YITBOS
Mike

I don't think the Animal House rep will hurt, it's more inexperience and a willingness to work to make the chapter better. But you're right, things can turn around VERY quickly, and congrats once again to Theta Phi.

YITBOS
Animal

Congrats on Instilation. Thats my chapter's founders day too.

I'm very ashamed of sororities and fraternities that choose to not associate with a smaller organization! Who the hell do they think they are?? We were never a small chapter, and we have beautiful women. But there was this one fratenrity that chose to not associate with us, and now their asses are gone! And I'm not happy about that either! Arrogance gets you no where. We are all worth spending time with each other. Support your fellow Greeks, or else we won't survive. We have enough external threats that we don't need to bash one another!

I am seriously ashamed of Greeks who choose to not associate with another chapter for some asinine reason. Whether they be smaller, or not quite the most aesthetically pleasing, it doesn't matter. We need to support each other, for arrogance will get us nowhere. We have enough external threats and challenges, without us being complete dicks to each other. Just stop! Or else we'll implode and kill ourselves off, we won't need college administrators doing it if we're doing it ourselves!

I am seriously ashamed of Greeks who choose to not associate with another chapter for some asinine reason. Whether they be smaller, or not quite the most aesthetically pleasing, it doesn't matter. We need to support each other, for arrogance will get us nowhere. We have enough external threats and challenges, without us being complete dicks to each other. Just stop! Or else we'll implode and kill ourselves off, we won't need college administrators doing it if we're doing it ourselves!

DeltaSig, the only advice I can give you is try to make your reputation as fun and gentlemanly as possible! My house is a bit unique on our campus in that we don't put a fraternity's status as a higher priority than how fun and nice they are, particularly when we exchange with them. Two of the most important things we look for in a house when we want social events are if they are lots of fun and if they don't have creepy guys!