Our sorority gets no frat love...
 

We are suppose to have mixers at our school with other frats, regardless of whether they like us or not. The guys are nice, but they are stand offish towards some of us b/c we aren't skinny blondes like most of the girls in DZ or Phi Mu. It sucks!! I have seen that the frats seem to favor the other sororities over us, they think that the others are prettier than us, but they always tell us that we are not stuck up and fun to hang with. I guess that's better than nothing. I think that my sorority are pretty darn hot. I just wanted to vent!!!!

that's kinda the same image we have here... but I don't let it bother me because I love my sisters... I know that if I had joined one of the popular sororities I never would have found the love support and acceptance that I did with this group of girls... we may not be the "pretty" sorority... but I'm still very proud to be a part of this group... because I know in the end that other girls looks will fade but we have other qualities that make us beautiful and those will never fade...


doesn't that sound like a hallmark card!!! :-)

you can start by not calling them "frats".

Woah, buddy. Go easy on her here. She's kinda new, and I'm sure she didn't mean any disrespect.

Pledge, I'd suggest that y'all just be persistent in asking them to do things with you. Take the initiative and offer to do more of the planning. That's the only way that my chapter got fraternities to start hanging out with us. We took all the initiative and did all the planning last year, and this year several fraternities have contacted us to do stuff.

Yeah, take it easy. Around here, "Frat" is just short for "Fraternity", it's not something taboo to say, write, or type.

I'm in a group of girls that are cool, some her prettier than the others, but together, we all look good!! I just wish that guys could see that what makes us different, makes us beautiful.

Ok, I'm gonna tell you a few stories about my sorority...

Here, we're not exactly known as "the best"... BUT, here are a few things that I've heard fraternities say... I've heard Pi Kapps say that we were the most fun sorority to do homecoming with, DU's this year have said the same thing. A Sigma Nu said that we were great girls, we just needed to get our name out more. Sig Eps asked us to mix with them (and they're one of the best fraternities on campus). We're known as the "fun" girls. Out of the fraternities that I've listed, Sigma Nu is the only one that one of our girls isn't dating one of the guys in.

My point is, being known as the "fun" girls really is a very good thing. We aren't required to mix with every fraternity. A lot of the fraternities on this campus only mix with four sororities. Sometimes 6. There are 9 on campus. And it really is horrible sometimes, because I know that if they mixed with us, they'd fall in love with us. All the other fraternities that do go to parties with us have.

I think your greek life is wonderful for making y'all mix. You've been given a great opportunity there. So just take advantage of it. If they think of you as fun and laid back, then have that reputation. Be fun and laid back. It's DEFINITELY not a bad reputation to have.

Oh, and look around... even the sororities that are stereotypical blonde and perfect aren't all that way. And even the sororites that aren't the stereotypical blonde and perfect may have a girl or two that are blonde and perfect.:)

pledge, my sorority went through the same thing of not being known as the "hot" girls. And much like CarolinaDG's sorority, we became known as the "fun" group of girls. We always came up with great mixer ideas, and presented it to them in a cool way. If the guys didn't bite, well, their loss! The groups that did have parties with us always had a good time and word eventually got around!

And besides, my boyfriend told me that his fraternity didn't like to mix with the hot girl sorority. He said it was like a junior high mixer (boys on one side, girls on the other) because the girls didn't want to make their boyfriends' mad!! And they left early to be with their boyfriends too. So, sometimes, the "hot sorority" parties aren't always the most fun. :)

:) Thanks!! That is really great advice. My sorority has a lot of fun at the mixers!!! Last week we had a great mixer with TKE and at first they were kind of standing back, but then, they just started to get crazy with us, and they weren't even drunk!!! So, you are definitely right, being the fun sorority is a great rep to have!!!

i totally sympathesize, pledge! we are in the same position on campus but we are working on it. we are going to try to start off by doing a date function with another sorority, which is a little less intimidating but lets other GLOs know that we like to be social!

Don't feel that bad. SInce we're the smallest house (and the Animal House), NONE of the sororities here hang out with us. Everytime they do walkarounds, they never come to our house. I remembered a couple Pi Phis laughing at me when I invited them to one of our parties. And our Gamma Phi coaches never showed up at our house for their Philantrophy. And like 20 Gamma Phis ran into KA, took a wrong turn and ended up just inside our courtyard, realized where they were, and turned the other way.

It doesn't matter, we get enough random girls at our parties so it's all good.

I can relate! My fraternity had the same issue until we discovered that if we invite them, they will come!

Your social calendar doesn't build itself. It takes time, effort (and of course money). We've scheduled a mixer with each sorority on campus, we've got brothers and candidates working as "house boys" (serving meals) to some houses...

With a little effort you can get wherever you want your group to go.

I think that quote sums up this entire thread.

Pledge -- you sound SO BITTER. I probably wouldn't hang out with you because of that alone -- you could look like the hottest thing on two legs, but if you're not fun to be with, you're not fun to be with.

Sisterhood isn't about getting drunk with frats and who pays you the most attention.

You need to change your focus. You sound like so many girls who complain, "Nooooo guys liiiiiiiike meeeee......" and never step back for half a minute to consider -- why should they? Do I try and have fun no matter where I am? Am I encouraging, fun to be with, energetic, optimistic? Or do I spend most of my time complaining?

ktsnake is right. Just invite fraternities to get together with you all, and I'm sure they'll be returning the invitations. A sorority doesn't have to be all "blonde and perfect"--hey, can't brunettes be perfect, too?--to get a lot of attention from fraternities. The fraternities probably just think you all aren't interested in doing mixers with them, so you have to show them that you are.

Pledge, I'm also getting a kind of negative image of you.... Every time you post something it's got to be a negative aspect of your new member period. If you're not enjoying this stuff maybe it's not for you.

It might help you if you made a conscious decision that from here on out you would enjoy yourself and have a more positive outlook on things. If something's bothering you, rather than complain, see what you can do to fix it.

I agree with what everyone has been saying.....I would like to make another point. Just as there are sororities that aren't known for having the richest and prettiest girls, there are fraternities going through the same thing. At my school, there were 7 sororities and 13 fraternities when I was an active. Nearly half of that fraternity number was composed of chapters that the "popular" sororities never even gave a thought to. These guys were dying for a chance to mix and meet some of the girls, and I dare say that most of them were a LOT sweeter and more genuine than the pretty-boys. Now I am speaking through that 20-20 hindsight, because I was fortunate to belong to a chapter that was viewed as "hot," and at the time I too was only interested in dating guys from the top few fraternities. But my point here is that you have to be careful not to take the same shallow attitude that some of these fraternities do......investigate, maybe as a pledge class, find out which fraternities maybe don't get asked to do as much. I promise you there are some out there who would love to get to know you all better and I promise that there are fun, friendly, good-looking gentlemen to be had.

By the way, (gotta rant here....) since when is blonde hair a prerequisite for beauty? Geez, this isn't 1975!!!!!! I must admit, I belonged to a "blonde" sorority (and they still are) but we had a number of beautiful brunettes (including myself.) Delta Gamma, which is extremely well thought of and considered very "hot" among the guys is a very brunette chapter.....they have a bunch of girls from the dance team and every one of them is tanned, gorgeous, and dark. I certainly don't intend to start a blonde vs. brunette debate........we all know the jokes and the stereotypes and it doesn't need to be rehashed again......but I just wish when people refer to pretty sororities or pretty girls they would eliminate that word. I have seen a lot of really butt-ugly girls in my 30 years and a large number of them happened to be blonde.

Speaking of bitter....

Normally serious questions on here aren't met with derision like this; I think someone is just having a bad day. No, sisterhood isn't about getting drunk at fraternities or who pays you the most attention. But mixers and attention are what I like to call fringe benefits from being greek :) I've never heard a sister say, "Darn, I wish those fraternities would quit inviting us to mix. Don't they realize that all we want to do is sit around the house ordering pizza and contemplaing sisterhood?"

That said, there is a lot of great advice floating around this thread and I hope you take it! :) I realize that entering Greekworld can be overwhelming at first and I'm sure it's hard seeing the other "glamazon" sororities getting the mixers, but I'm sure that if your sorority makes the effort to get your name out there you'll have a full social calendar within a year.

Good luck!

pledge - I have to agree with what some other posters have said. Negativity breeds negativity. Open up your heart and let the sun shine in.

We weren't considered the "hot" sorority either, but it was a hell of a lot more fun to hear a guy say after a mixer "wow, I never knew how awesome you guys were!" and make them realize that hanging out with the #1's isn't everything.

For a while we did have probs getting some fraternities to mix with us because previous sisters had restricted themselves to one or two fraternities. I would get your social chair to arrange a double mixer with another one of the sororities and 2 fraternities. They are a blast, because twice the people are there, it helps promote Greek unity, and gets your foot in a door you might not have. It worked really well for us.

we didn't have a problem getting fraternities to rush with us, per say, but we did for while limit ourselves to one fraternity. we have since branched out to everybody and it's so much better! we love have tons of friends around campus in greek life... everyone knows of us as "the nice girls" too, which is so much beter than the "easy girls" or the "hot girls"... personality is always something that means more than anything else- remember that!!!! :)

Man you guys are being hard on pledge.
Pledge, I read your post twice and it sounds like a legitimate gripe.

ktsnake is right, your social calendar won't build itself. Do you have a strong chairman for this job? I think this is a really important position for every chapter because it involves your chapter's campus profile. It can also have an impact on recruitment. If your sisters are dating members of various fraterities, that can be a good place to start.(create a little pressure from the other side) I know at LSU they will have, for example, an exchange with Sig Ep on Thurs. and one wih SX on Fri. Maybe start slowly with an off day and start with one of the fraternities that shares a similar reputation. Does someone have an "in" with any of their pledge trainers? As new members, would it be possible to take things into your own hands to get thisaccompished? Of course you would have YOUR chapter's approval-you would do the WORK.

NO, WE ARE NOT FRATS!

Will You all understand that especiall The Soroity Ladys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are not being accepeted, I can understand that!

When I started My Local, parodon be, We Were,nt Shit!

We had a Soroity that you may have heard of ADP. They had nicknames that werent deserved! But They Were the first to see us as a Local Fraternity! Next was SSS because she was our 1st Greek Queen!


Well I will say, All of You can suck! Your Egos are under whelming!

You bunch of mamby pambys are tripped orientated!

If I am getting in some butt, you know where to contact me!

I am out of here before I get insensative!

Tom You're a frat boy.

I understand that you're frustrated, but there's a lot more important things to worry about than whether or not the guys want to hang out with you. If you consider it their loss and just be your amazing selves, eventually they'll see what they're missing.

The best thing I can say is to make sure that when you have a mixer or party with another house make sure that all your girls show up. When I think back to last year during our froshes, the houses we ended up liking most were the ones that had a lot of girls show up and that weren't shy (usually with a lot sisters there the girls became less shy)...there is strength in numbers.

Also other ideas, throw a party that hasn't been done before on your campus, something that any house would want to do and then invite the house of your choosing. Often times the theme of a party can go a long way in determining the amount of fun people have...graffiti parties, or a foam party, or something else just totally out there might do the trick. Just whatever you do, try to make it so that the numbers of guys to girls is equal or that there are more girls than guys b/c no guy likes a sausage fest (as much fun as that might be for you and your sisters).

Also, I don't know what your campus is like, but here every house has a formal dinner on Monday night and then chapter meeting. Do a dinner exchange with another house - some of your girls go to their house and some of them come to yours. It's a different type of atmosphere and you get to see everybody dressed up. Again this depends on your campus and how the houses are set up and all.

Dinner exchanges are great... we used to do those a lot. If you invite a smaller fraternity (one that maybe doesn't have a cook), they can all come over and they do because they want a good home-cooked meal. It's easier to really get to know one another without loud music and alcohol!

Also, participate in all the philanthropies you are invited too. Other chapters usually notice that support. Invite everyone to your philanthropy.

What about homecoming or Greek Week? Are you paired with a fraternity for those? Usually several of our girls would end up dating boysi n the chapters we were paired with.

You don't have to have a formal "mixer" to mix either. The most fun "mixer" I went to was completely spontaneous. We were supposed to do fundraising at our football stadium but that got cancelled at the last minute. It was a huge game, so we still wanted to watch it. One of our sisters who was with us had a boyfriend in a fraternity, so a bunch of us girls showed up over there with food, had a cookout, and watched the game. It was only a few of us with a few of them, but random brothers kept showing up, so we met a ton of people. Apparently guys think girls who bring food over are cool, and they scheduled a mixer with our chapter soon after. :)

Maybe consider doing something smaller..find one of your sisters who's dating a guy in XYZ fraternity and see if you can drop in with something, go serenading, etc. It can't hurt. :)

give 'em hell tom, give 'em hell...

:D

of course we realize that you are not "frat" men... you are FINE FRATERNITY MEN!!!!!

if i EVER said the dreaded "frat" word around here i'd get my ass beaten.. I even correct people when they say it now..

This may be a little off subject, but it's not too far...

... At Carolina, we have "tailgating tents"... the fraternities set up tents and all the girls come to them to tailgate. Well, there was a rumor going around that a certain fraternity had to "prove" their dates if they weren't "Southern Belles." The "Southern Belles" at my school are Tri-Delt, ZTA, and KD. So, I asked one of the fraternity guys if that was true. He responded by saying, "If a girl's hot, she's hot no matter what sorority she's in." I ended up being his date to three tailgates, and not a single brother complained about the fact that I wasn't in a "Southern Belle" sorority, and I actually have a lot of friends in those sororities now.

... My point is, most guys have that mindset. If a girl's hot, cool, whatever, they really don't care what sorority she's in. Just like if I found an incredibly hot, cool, whatever guy in a so-called "bad" fraternity, I wouldn't give him any less of a chance. And I'll admit, it was pretty cool to say I was dating a KA, but I dated him because he was a wonderful guy and I loved him, not because of the letters he carried.

... Sometimes it does get frustrating when sororities or fraternities are pre-judged. Ok, it's ALWAYS frustrating when sororities or fraternities are pre-judged. But you can always break this pre-judgement by just being yourself and having fun.

First, I think pledge may be getting her first dose of reality of what a sorority really is. It's not all fun and games, love. That sucks, what's happening to you. But, please, give it time!

Second, though, read what got posted three times by accident on the Flip Side thread!

pledge, as you can see many of us are in the same ark!

When I started the local heck, we not only couldnt get rush functions with SOROITYS, we could not get any pledges in formal rush!

Did We Give Up. NO! Were were tenacious Basturds. OOPS, have been there since 1965! DA!

Never Give Up you will persiver! Hang in kiddo!

If you can give us a little info either on site or PM maybe we can help you?

Got the huzzpah to do it? Then Go for it!

:)

you twits!
 

Please don't tell me that sororities base their opinions about themselves by which fraternity thinks they are "cute" or which fraternity "blesses" them with thier presence or apporval. I thought the focus of a sorority was the sisterhood, the empowerment of women by other women. If the fraternities in your world donot mix with you based of physical attributes or any other superficial reason, you are allowing them to enslave you. Broaden your circles, Sister.

Re: you twits!
 

Just so you know, this thread is three and a half years old so the original poster is either a college senior or graduate. I do agree with the part of your post about the focus of sorority and sisterhood. :)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
So says the sorority who doesn't have a social calender and is usually forgotten about.


I haven't read through the pages but I'm pretty glad that this is a joke. Amazing. I just read some funny shit on the first page.

still coarse--
 

About fifty years ago our pledge manual said "Don't say frat."
It went on and said only ignorant high school kids and reporters
used that term.
But we heard it even back then, possibly less than now, but the
proliferation of greeks has watered down somewhat the so-called
dignity we once thought we had.
And while one may raise hell with me or Tom or a Beta or whomever, to say frat to some of us is tantamount to uncoiling a
loud and ripe fart at the dinner table.
Is that too difficult to understand?

I didn't catch it, did you participate in the debate in the AphiA thread?

Re: you twits!
 

Wow. Learn to SPELL before you call anyone else a twit. She DID say that she thinks her sorority is pretty hot, regardless of the fraternities' opinions. I think that you can be in a sorority for the sisterhood and still care about the fringe benefits, like mixers.

Sister Spell-check
 

Mia culpa, Soror! As an Applied Engineering Physics major, I was never a great speller... and I am a worse typist...always glad to find ways to improve! ..... But, I am very glad to see you got the point of my post, for that is the reason for any type of communication with or without grammatical errors. Thanks....

i'll be blunt, my take on it is you joined the wrong sorority. not only do the fraternity guys not enjoy hanging out with yall, you seem like you don't even like it.

Hopefully by this point, she has graduated and doesn't really care anymore.

I just love it when Newbies drege up old threads. In fact, this is a second generation drege. Sweet. Speaking of....