Keeping the Spark Alive
 

Hey all,
This is a question more for people who have lived with their significant other and/or is married to them.
I'm curious to know how you and your loved one keep the spark alive. How do you maintain spontenaety and romance? how do you keep things from getting comfortable and boring and taking eachother for granted?

And, if you're living arrangements turned into a disaster, what went wrong?

Ooh, very timely question. I'm moving in with my boyfriend in 2 weeks and have been thinking about this a lot myself lately.

scary stuff
 

I don't live with my BF but I am so scared that if we move in together and/or get married the spark will totally disappear and we'll turn into (gasp!) my parents.

Teach me the tricks so this doesn't happen!

Maintain your own separate interests; don't just become an extension of one another. That way, you'll have time apart and when you're together you'll have interesting things to talk about.

Not Recommended: Having one partner leave the country and live 14,000 miles away for 6 months. It's extremely rough on the phone bill. But then, the reunion should be pretty awesome! ;)

bump

common gcers! someone here has to have some advice!

i don't have any advice yet.. although any more advice on this topic would be greatly appreciated... I *might* be moving in with my S.O. in a few weeks...

Two words: unusual places. ;)

I think the most important thing to remember is that you have to make an effort. Don't just fall into a routine. Think of crazy things you can do to keep it exciting -- for instance, maybe tuck little notes in his pants pockets before he goes to work, go somewhere different for dinner one night (like out for Morrocan or something), go away to a bed-and-breakfast for a weekend. Sign up to take a class together (maybe a massage course), be active together by going for runs or playing sports... there are so many things you can do besides the "going to work, coming home, eating and watching television" routine.

I think as long as you both realize the threat of monotony is ever-present, discuss what you can do to avoid it and actively work together to do so... you'll be golden!

Exercise together....seriously. You haven't seen anything until you've seen your boyfriend doing Pilates. :)

oy
 

moxiegirl -- no offence but I just took a Pilates class last night and I think one of hte last things I want to see is my poor boyfriend in those weird positions, too.

but hey, to each her own. Maybe I"m just bitter because I'm so damn sore today.

I LOVE Pilates! It really is a workout!

yea, like in the butt.

If It Dont Work Then Dont do it!

Do tht explain it all?:rolleyes:

Or a very uncomfortable place . . . like the back of a volkswagon

I hear playing "rodeo" brings a bit of change and excitement into a couple's relationship. You're supposed to tell the girl her breasts feel like her sisters and see how long you can hold on before she throws you off.

-Rudey
--Try some other variations like having your friends try and take naked pictures of her while she attempts to run away...aaaah young love.

:rolleyes:

Well I personally am a strong advocate of NOT dating for like, 5 years before you get engaged and then living together engaged for 3 more years before you get married. By the time you DO get married........YAWN.

But also, being with the right person helps. I know that sounds stupid and obvious, but if you really are marrying a person who you are compatible with and who you're madly in love with, it just isn't so hard. Yeah you fight, but you have a hard time staying mad for too long.

No matter how bad we fight, my husband and I always go to bed together (to sleep I mean.) And in the morning, he never fails to kiss me good bye and say "I love you" no matter how bad we may have not been speaking the night before. Do I have times where I lose it and think to myself, "I cannot live the rest of my life with this man!!!!!!!!"? Yeah. But they always pass. The thought of living without him for the rest of my life is far worse than the thought of living with him.

And finally, advocates of True Love Waits are going to shellac me for this one, but I think sexual compatibility is a must. You are going to be sleeping with this ONE person for the rest of your life (depending upon your opinions on swinging) and darn it, even if you are too inexperienced in the beginning to know the difference, eventually you won't be. If he is a morning man and she is a before-bed-only, that is going to be a problem. If he is a missionary only kind of guy and she is a closet freak, that is going to be a problem. If he wants it 7 nights a week and she thinks 3 is a lot, THAT's going to be a problem. You have to know how to ring each other's bell.........and preferably better than anyone else.

On the subject, what do you all think of this "Revirgination" idea......personally I think it is stupid. YOU CAN'T GET IT BACK!!!!! Once you have done it, you are not a virgin again no matter what!!!!!!! You can do it once at 14, then abstain until your 72nd birthday and YOU ARE STILL NOT A VIRGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry to yell but the whole idea is just too ludicrous for me.