How Do I Choose?
 

OK... I don't think this subject has been discussed yet. If it has, just give me the link.

Anyway, I will be going through Recruitment in a just a week and a half. This website has been so helpful in helping me decide what to wear and has calmed my nerves about what to expect. I really not too worried about rush. I'm a confident person and I know it's not like I'm gonna have horrible life just because I don't get into a sorority.

My problem is... if I do decide that greek life is for me, how will I know which sorority is best for me. Everyone always says "you just know." I'm just really worried that all the sororities are putting on a show and we wont really get to know them. I'm not always the best judge of character.

I kinda feel that becase I haven't been on campus, and I don't have friends already going there, I really don't know much about them and I'm not sure I will figure it out in just one short week.

Oh yeah- one last thing- what are the signs of a "good sorority." I mean one that is considered strong... one that has involved members and really gets involved on campus.
How can you tell?

Thanks A Bunch!

Happygurl,

I know that it seems kind of cliche to say "You'll just know" what sorority is right for you. But it is SO true. Even thought you won't spend a ton of time at each house, you will be there long enough to get a feel for the type of girls who make up the chapter, and whether or not they are the kind of sisters you are looking for.

I asked myself the same questions you're asking now. I didn't think I'd be able to see who was being "fake" and who was real in such a short amount of time. But it was so much easier to figure out than I thought it would be! I walked out of the preference parties knowing exactly what sorority I wanted to be in, and knew in my heart that the girls I had talked with were genuine, down to earth people who were seriously interested in getting to know me.

As for how to tell what sorority has the most involved sisters on campus, the best way to find out is to ask them! No one will think twice about you asking what activities the chapter's sisters are involved in, what types of events the sorority participates in on campus, and what their philanthropy is. In fact, you'll probably score some points with the girls you speak to because you'll be showing that you're interested in learning about them as much as they're interested in learning about you! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I don't know how others are, but I do know that my chapter has a rule stating that sisters must be active in at least one non-Greek organization on campus (ex: Marketing Club member, soccer player, student council member, etc). Personally, I think it's a great rule to have because it ensures that each girl has the opportunity to be a leader outside of the sorority as well as inside. I believe other sororities may do similar things.

The best thing to do is to ask them if they encourage their members to participate in other activities outside of Greek Life. If they say yes, ask how many of their sisters actually do so.

Ask as many questions as you like, then go home and write down the differences between each house so that you can compare notes later in the week. That will help you sort out your feelings about each sorority and may help you to make a final decision after pref if you are torn between a couple of really good houses.

GOOD LUCK WITH RUSH! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

When people say "you'll know" it's really true. During rush everyone is on their best behavior, but that doesn't mean you can't tell the difference in the girls. Just figure out what house you feel the most comfortable just being in, which girls are the easiest to talk to. Believe it or not you'll be able to tell how enthusiastic a house is when you walk into it. Just remember to trust your instincts, go with the house you think you'll have the most fun with. Good Luck, it's lots of fun!

When people say "you'll know" it's really true. During rush everyone is on their best behavior, but that doesn't mean you can't tell the difference in the girls. Just figure out what house you feel the most comfortable just being in, which girls are the easiest to talk to. Believe it or not you'll be able to tell how enthusiastic a house is when you walk into it. Just remember to trust your instincts, go with the house you think you'll have the most fun with. Good Luck, it's lots of fun!

One of my sisters tells the story that before rush she was in the same situation that you are in and wasn't sure how she was going to choose. During parties, she asked one of the girls how she knew that this sorority was for her and the active member told her that the house which she feels chills in while leaving during pref night is the house she should join--anyways, during pref night, she left our house and actually felt chills down her back and it told her that it was the right house...you will just know and trust the rush process. The girls you like are most likely going to be the girls that want you!

How to tell if it's a "strong" chapter--

1. How many student body leaders are in the house? What house is the class president in? What about sports team captains, etc.?

2. The house has good numbers. They normally make quota each year, and they are not one of the smaller houses on campus. A strong house attracts lots of rushees. A weak house has more trouble getting numbers.

3. What kind of all-school events does the house sponsor or co-sponsor? Do lots of non-members actually come to these events? A "strong" chapter will be better able to get the campus involved in its service projects and things like that.

4. Does the house traditionally "get" lots of its legacies? Rushees won't usually "follow their legacy" unless they think their mom or sister's sorority is a strong one on their particular campus.

Twinstars, I have to add a disclaimer to your "good numbers" criterion. You should also consider the age of the chapter. If a sorority just colonized on a campus (especially if the group was a local sorority) it may very well have lower numbers for a year or two - not because it's "worse" but because it hasn't had as much time to establish itself. If it's really small compared to other chapters (say, 10 sisters where most chapters have 100) then be careful - a group like that may be on the verge of dying out - but if it's only, say, half the size of other chapters, don't hold that against them.

Happygurl, when I joined my sorority, somehow I knew it was just right. I'd dropped out of formal rush, interested in joining a sorority but not sold on any of the nationals on my campus. My (then local) sorority held rush the week after formal rush, and somehow I felt these women were my sisters even before I got my bid. The best advice I can give you (trite as it sounds) is to follow your heart. And good luck! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

If you don't JUST KNOW, don't be so worried. When I had to turn in my final bid card I sat for an hour and a half trying to decide who to put #1 and #2...it was totally up in the air! I could have picked out of a hat because I loved completely different things about each one and disliked very little about either. In the end I went w/ my heart and haven't looked back. I say, you will get an idea of which house you like, but espicially if you're in a large greek system w/ lots of houses to choose from, you'll be able to prob. cut it down to 2 and if one has an edge, go w/ it! But if not, don't worry. You may be just right for 2 in which case, you can't go wrong, right? Also, as far as twinstars' suggestions, they're def. valid, but if you're greek system is very large, they won't apply as much. If a house is near quota, but doesn't always meet it, it doesn't mean they're "weak". Same goes for all campus events...if you have about 90+GLOs on campus, chances are very few, if any will draw tons of outside people. Also, student leaders, if you have 400+clubs on campus, there are TONS of leaders. So, take all that into consideration, but if you're in a large system, you have to keep that in perspective, too.

Hey happy gurl,
what a great question. i'll went through the same thing i had two sororities that i wanted to join so bad, they were just sooo sweet, both in their own way. It comes down to preference, the way you are treated there, if their words are really true, and not mechanical.. if they don't recite things, other than their skits. I cried at both their preferences, they were very beautiful... but the one i chose was were the words were real, the emotions were real.. it is all about how much the girls get to know you, for you, and how they remember who you are the next round.. how comfortable you are one on one with these girls as the parties get smaller and smaller.
GOod luck!

Well to give you help from a freshmen who has already signed to his frat, I can tell you somethings that helped me make my decision.

Obviously I'm coming from a different angle having open rush, and I had some weird things happen at parties, but here is the way that I went about narrowing down my top choices (probably the most important thing).

1)Look at objectional data--things like house GPA, number of philanthropys, social calender, as well as things like alcohol policies (I found that even though houses on my campus are supposed to be dry, it's amazing to see what the various definitions of dry came out to be), Intramurals, and anything that is important to you. Obviously you may not care that much for sports so a house that is really heavy on intramurals may not be for you. I used the info that I found to find houses that seemed to value things that were important to me. I then knew that the members would have similar ideals as me, and respect my goals, b/c they would also be the goals of the members themselves.

2)After that, go on with the houses you feel most comfortable in. For me Farmhouse fit pretty well as far as academics and philanthropys, but I didn't want to be in the house with a bunch of ag majors or have to live on the other campus. Plus Farmhouse is one frat still dedicated to christian ideals, and that came in direct conflict with my own beliefs, so obviously that was not going to work, and I didn't even bother visiting their house.

3)Finally when preffing, you'll know which one you liked best. You probably had the most fun there, even though you did the exact same thing at all the other houses. You'll feel like you belong, and that you can develop friendships with these people. Now for me, the houses made my decision for me by the way they acted. at several parties I couldn't ge any of the brothers to actually to talk to me, but at Beta Theta Pi I talked to every single brother present at each party, without straining or feeling pressured. I left a weekend of parties knowing the names of probably 15 betas, and not a single brother from another house. I don't know that there will be that big of discrepency but you'll notice any small one.

So dont' worry, and good luck.

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Geoff Mickells
Beta Theta Pi
Alpha Tau chapter
University of Nebraska

[This message has been edited by Betarulz! (edited August 17, 2001).]

Geoff---I'm glad everything turned out so well for you http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif If only all of us can manage to be as lucky as you and all the other GLO members here http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
Liz

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University of Alabama--- ROLL TIDE!!!!!

Maybe it's just me, but I don't agree with any of this...

1) I don't think a GLO's strength is defined by who has the Class Prez or Team Captains. There is one house on my campus that has lots of athletes and RHAs, etc. and I think (as a chapter) they are snooty.

2) Numbers aren't proof postive either. The house on my campus with the strongest numbers is very cookie-cutter and disliked by many of the other houses. Sometimes the best recruiters don't make the best sisters.

3) Maybe this is just my campus, but our GLOs don't "sponsor" a lot of activities/programs. We have our philanthropy events, but most specialized programs are put on by the BGLOs.

4) While some PNMs may have some loyalty to their mom/grandma/sister's sorority, it seems that many legacies these days are joining other GLOs. Just because a legacy finds another house that she feels comfortable in, that doesn't mean that her legacy sorority isn't a strong one.

I think a better way to tell what a chapter is like is to look at how the sisters act and treat each other. Are they whispering in the corner, ignoring PNMs, seem bored with your converstaion, make sarcastic comments about sisters? This is probably not the type of sorority you want to join. Look for girls that smile at each other, talk you up about your interests, introduce you to other sisters who they think you'd have a good conversation with (not girls they're just trying to pass you off on).

[This message has been edited by LeslieEMU (edited August 15, 2001).]

My advice is to join Gamma Sigma Sigma or Alpha Phi Omega your first year, there you get to know a lot about other people and have the chance to observe the greek community. Then, you rush for a social sorority your second year. But, only follow my advice if you go to a school like mine, a majority commuter campus where people take an average of 4-6 years to graduate.

I'm with Leslie. Imagine the girls you can be totally yourself with. Don't ever join a house because you think "this is the type of person I WANT to become" Join because the ladies are already LIKE you. Make sure you feel comfy enough with these girls to walk around in your PJ's and no makeup. That may not be the house with the best numbers. Maybe the smaller house is more your style.

For me, I picked a smaller house.

Maybe some of you misunderstood my post. I'm not trying to say that those four criteria are what girls should use to choose their sorority... not at all. Those are not the most important things and they certainly are not the only things that matter. You could choose a house that meets all those characteristics and have a pretty "miserable" sorority experience if the girls in the group can't get along, or if they're just "not your type."

The way I read this Happygurl's question, it sounded to me like she wanted to know how to quicky figure out which houses were considered strongest on her campus... "Strongest" in terms of general reputation and the respect that the group gets from other greek groups and from all the students at that school. Maybe my four points apply better to smaller colleges, but I think they are valid for a rushee trying to figure out which houses are generally held in the highest regard by their campus. That's not to say that those houses will be the best ones for that individual. Maybe a house that's not as "cool" (or whatever shallow word you want to use) is really where she feels like she belongs. This is obviously the place for her.

I wanted to make another point:

I don't agree with curiouss either (sorry, guess I am being arguemental today). On my campus at least, service organizations like GSS or APO don't really hang out with "social GLOs" so they wouldn't necessarily get a better observation of Greeks. I know a few of my sisters go into Honor GLOs (or orgs like Order of Omega)after joining our chapter. This isn't to say you shouldn't join a service GLO first, I just don't think there's an advantage.

***Just wanted to mention that even though I may disagree with certain opinions, I am only speaking from my experience, which doesn't necessarily make me right (even though I like to think I am http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif )***

On my campus service orgs weren't part of the social Greek system.. they never really hung out or participated with any of the social orgs, and were not a part of the "greek life" stuff. Better off just getting to know girls/guys in your classes and dorms that are Greek. Just my .02 http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

APO isn't a part of the social greek system neither, at our school, however, about half of our colony/chapter belongs to a social GLO. Therefore we (non-social greeks) know a lot about people in the social greek system (which is small) and some, including me, even hang out and party with some of the social GLO's. But, as some you guys said, it can vary from campus to campus.

And yes, there are a few non-social brothers that do not want to associate with social greeks and vice versa, which confuses me! Greek is greek to me and especially to non-greeks, though we may have different agendas.

[This message has been edited by curiouss (edited August 15, 2001).]

Just my 2 cents (or maybe more than 2 http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif)

Happygurl asked 2 questions - 1) how to know which sorority will be the best for her and 2) how to tell which sororities are strongest on campus. The two are not necessarily the same!

You can be in the "strongest" house on campus and hate every minute of it...you can be in the "weakest" sorority on campus and have the time of your life. That's when (especially rushing as a freshman) you should sit down and decide what is most important to YOU. If it helps, write out what you want, and rank what you want the most.

As far as APO, it definitely helped me that I pledged APO before ASA, just cause I knew the Greek alphabet and things like that. But only join APO or GSS if you are really interested in the service - not as a "practice run."

One point that noone has addressed:

I know quite a few girls that ended up with bids from their second or third choice house. They are completely happy where they ended up.

You may have a strong preference, you may not. Whatever your bid card says, be sure to give it a chance.

I'm with 33girl on this one. I think how you choose is also what you're looking to get out of the sorority experience. I know some girls go through with the intentions of joining the best house, while others join the house with a lot athletes or one with a lot of girls that study. It's all going to depend on what you see at the parties, and how that fits into what you're looking for. An open mind will lead you to the right choice...no matter how hokey it sounds.

I agree with a lot of the points here but especially with Delta Beta Baby, about second and third choices. Sometimes your heart tells you one choice, your friends say another choice, and your bid card is a whole different story. But look at it this way--if you have gotten to the point where you are PREFFING an organization, there has got to be things about BOTH(we can only pref two at my school) that you really like, and people in both that you can see yourself being friends with. For me, AOTT not only provided sisterhood, it provided security. Security knowing that I would almost always have someone to sit next to in a class, I would pretty much a planned social life, and a support group of 145 members, of which at least ONE of them would have gone through at some point the same things I was going through. For me, I never had a clear cut factor that made my decision while going through rush, but I will tell you that becoming an AOTT was one of the best decisions of my life, even if my heart was arguing with my head and I wasn't sure if my friends would still love me as I signed it. In the end, forget your head, forget what other people say, don't base EVERYTHING(though it sure does help http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif) on a feeling and follow your heart! It really will tell you whats right.

Many girls hear "You just know" and struggle to get that "I know" feeling when maybe it really isn't there. I think you know when:

-You find yourself talking and joking as if you've known these people forever.

-You deeply feel they accept you for YOU.

We all get that gutt-feeling when someone is being fake with us, so stay true to that.

It's also true that you could choose one sorority or another and the girls are just as wonderful as the next. So then maybe you turn to other factors to help tip the scale like Philanthropy efforts you feel passionate about, social events you feel comfortable with, the opportunity to build and grown, etc.

I'm sure you will make the right decision for yourself. Good luck in your search!

KappaPsiDelta@NYU
www.geocities.com/kappapsidelta

bump!

Finest Alum wrote ths last year-I'm with Leslie. Imagine the girls you can be totally yourself with. Don't ever join a house because you think "this is the type of person I WANT to become" Join because the ladies are already LIKE you. Make sure you feel comfy enough with these girls to walk around in your PJ's and no makeup. That may not be the house with the best numbers. Maybe the smaller house is more your style.

This is a really good tip.

33girls also said she knows of several who are happy with their second or third choice-How true. In fact, there was a thead (OF COURSE) on this subject.

Also stated SOMEWHERE- Often, the sisters may know better than you where you were meant to be. The young 'uns in my extended family agree.

you know i was actually in the same situation as you are in. before going through formal recruitment i didn't know a single thing about greek life. i was from a small town and there was only one college there which didn't have greek organizations. anyways, one of my best friends already knew which sorority she wanted to go and when i asked her how did she know her reply was "i just know." the first night of recruitment it all seemed overwhelming and i really didn't know what to think....however...the remaining nights you really got to know the sisters of the sororities and from that you can tell which ones were really genuine. you will know which sorority makes you feel like you fit in and feel the most comfortable with and the one where you can be yourself. so i agree with everyone else when they say that "you will just know." don't worry about it....its a lot of fun....and you will get everything figured out...g'luck :)

ALPHA DELTA PI~"First and Finest"

If you find yourself having a flowing conversation about nothing, ie: shoes, dogs, weird places you've been, etc. These conversations are the same ones you will have with your future sisters. I found the places I felt most comfortable I would talk about the MOST random stuff. Also, when the time flies by and you feel like you've only been at that house for 10 minutes when you've really been there for close to an hour, that is a pretty decent indication that you've meet your match!!

-aw