Work or Sorority?
 

I got a new job this past week and my sorority is basically making me choose between them and my job.
I need advice on what to do.
Okay so I got hired Wednesday and at where I work they make it a requirement for everyone to work Friday-Sunday and the position I got hired for/the only opening position was the dinner shift which is like 4pm-9pm.
Well on Sundays I have Sunday meetings with my sorority. I told my sorority that I got a new job and was unable to attend Sunday meetings because I have to work and they said if I miss one Sunday meeting I'll be put in bad standing for the rest of the semester, can't go to formal (even though I just dropped a hell of a lot of money on a dress for it) or any mixers, and I'll have to pay a fine.
But get this: my previous job was at a haunted house that required me to work Sundays and they always excused me from going to meetings so how is this job any different?
Please give me some advice I don't know what to do. I'm having to either choose to drop Kappa Delta or quit my job, which took me MONTHS to find, works PERFECT with my college schedule AND I make a lot of money at where I work now, and I really need as much money as I can get at the moment. Plus even if I found another job, I'd have to send in a two week notice which would still have me miss the next two chapter meetings, putting me on bad standing, and having to pay a huge fine.

Quit the job. You say it's a perfect job, but it's obviously not a perfect job. See if you can get a sister to give you a reference at someplace they're working. I worked a retail job in my active years. That meant I didn't participate in a lot of weekend activities. I regret that and wish I could have it to do over again because i would have worked a lot less.

They probably excused you for the haunted house job because it was a short-term Halloween gig. Now you've replaced it with a job that will require a consistent absence from meetings, and they're letting you know that's not going to fly. I agree with Kevin -- sisters find sisters jobs at their places of employment all the time. Also, you don't owe 2 weeks notice to a job you just started; just tell them the schedule doesn't work with your previous obligations.

Right. If you just started, you aren't going to list them as a reference anyhow. And you're young, so no one will question gaps in employment.

It sounds like your new job is at a pancake house. Is it worth sacrificing your sorority for? Find a job that fits better with the commitment you made when you joined your sorority. Remember - there will always be better jobs out there.

If at all possible, try to avoid working while an undergraduate, unless it is school-related (e.g., library staff, resident assistant, research assistant, etc.). For most people, normal work is too distracting if they are trying to go to school full time.

Does your membership and commitment to your sorority really mean that little to you? I can't imagine a restaurant server job being more important to me than my sisters.... I honestly don't understand why you even took a job that conflicted with standing chapter meeting. The choice is yours.

How could you attend formal if you have to work every weekend?

College waitress/server/restaurant job that no one will remember or care about vs. lifetime membership in my sorority

Agree with others — put some effort into finding another job. I fully support working while in school, because you need a resume and experience and skills when you graduate, but work comes after your schoolwork and school obligations (school obligations can go on your resume as well). Chapter meeting is one of the latter, now that you’ve committed to your sorority. Furthermore, restaurants are everywhere. You can work in a restaurant without it being THIS restaurant. You likely can find one with different schedule requirements.

I had on-campus jobs while in school that I could bend around my schedule. I often even had several at a time. They paid a bit less, but I never had to worry about missing classes or events. Not right for everyone, but something to consider.

(Note: my answer might be somewhat different if you were asking whether to join a sorority in the first place, given that you might need to devote a lot of time to working while in school. Sorority membership generally is a luxury, while work is not always a luxury. But you’ve committed to the organization now, so...)

yall literally don't understand how much i hate kd. like, i've been here for a year and a half and my only "friend" in this sorority is my big.

Sounds like you already have your mind made up, if you hate it, drop. Not sure why you asked?

Woah, wait... what? We didn't understand that you hate KD because you never told us that.

Why is this even a concern for you? You've clearly made up your mind as to what's a top priority and what takes a back seat in your life.

LOL, Girl - What?

It looks like you posted your question with an agenda in mind. If you're not committed to your organization - resign. If you'd like to maintain affiliation, perhaps look into whether your organization allows you to take a semester hiatus, or go early alum (I'm only passingly familiar with NPC rules).

Don't, however, use having a job as a mask for what appear to be your true and underlying issues with the sorority. As an adult, hiding behind excuses is never a viable means to an end.

"Excuses are tools of incompetence..."

I am not sure why someone goes through the effort of creating an account and writing an OP leaving out a major factor in that she hates her organization. Hate is a choice. Not making friends when you have so many people who would be open to being friends with you is also a choice. She could choose to reach out and really try to connect with her sisters or even wait for the next crop of new members.

Just understand that: membership is for life, you are giving up on the possibility of having family members (legacies, be they daughters, granddaughters, (YMMV from group to group) and you're giving up on the entire alumnae experience. It's all a choice. You're not going to find many of us here on Greekchat who are going to tell you choosing some job waiting tables over the entire Greek experience is a solid choice.

I agree with the above posters. While having a job may be important (at my university, almost everyone has a job/internship/volunteer work they do, and it's something we encourage with our membership), it's important to approach this decision with honesty. If your debate is between being able to afford your membership versus being able to attend chapter, I know for a fact that your treasurer can help you with a payment plan, and next semester you could apply for Emergency Financial Member Status. However, if you've been in the chapter for nearly two years, you 1. know the financial obligations 2. know the time commitment and 3. should reevaluate why you have no friends in the chapter. Being a member of any organization is a two way street - you get out of it what you put into it. You can't blame the organization as a whole if you don't have any friends unless you take an honest look at why that might be. If you're walking around with an "I hate my chapter" attitude, your sisters will notice. If you're not reaching out to girls to hang out or attending events, you'll never make any friends.

At the end of the day, it seems you've made up your mind and were hoping for us to validate your decision. Honestly, and this may be harsh, but I support your decision to drop if you really feel this negatively about being a member, because you'll only bring the group down.

Well, OK then. Buh-bye.

You can't schedule work around meetings, but you can take off to go to the formal.
Do everyone a favor and resign from your sorority.

Do KD a favor and resign.

This is gold!!!

I go to all the mandatory events, and reach out to sisters - asking if they want to go eat, study, etc. but they always ignore me. At the events I get involved, and sit with the girls yet they never include me in conversation, and when I try to speak up they always talk over me. It's not just as simple as "put yourself out there/make an effort". I do, yet it always fails. Everybody in my sorority has their cliques, yet I somehow missed out on finding mine. Also the president and VP Membership dislike me, and I've even heard of them talking behind my back. I want so much to have a group of lifelong friends and sisters, but unfortunately no matter how hard I've tried, it just doesn't ever work out. I've messaged nationals about it and they haven't replied even though I messaged them over a month ago. Also, the VP Membership and Pres dislike me so much they make it a point to find me in meeting, or other events where we're supposed to have our PACE Face on/be all made up, hair done, dress, heels etc. and they'll point out to me that me makeup isn't just right, or hair needs to be better curled or etc. also one time we had an informal meeting and it was comfort/pj themed so everybody came in without makeup and etc. and I get called out because apparently I don't look good to them without makeup on because I have mild rosacea, even though I think I look bomb af. I mean isn't a sorority supposed to be instilling confidence in others? Because according to what I've experienced, it's not.

And tbh it's not even me that they single out, they pick on everybody else in the chapter. They feel entitled because they're on the council, and they have singled out nearly every other girl who's not on council. It's ridiculous. We've brought it up and they had a standards meeting, but nothing's changed. Hopefully if i stay in our new pres will be 100000x better and better this chapter.

As A Fraternity guy, all of this amazes me. With todays costs of attending college, just maybe this member happens to need extra money!
Being in a Sorority is extra money that is not a positive must for what it cost:rolleyes:.

The snideness of many of the remarks here is unbecoming of you!:( When members treat a member like this I think it sucks!:mad:

Many of my Brothers needed to work jobs to help pay bill such as dues and all of the other things that maybe required much of which is just plain B S and needed only in your minds.

Greek life may be forever, but graduation is more important! I would never belittle a member for trying to pay for college and graduate over being in a group of katty women who look down their noses at a fellow sister!

Shame on all of you!:o

Yikes. You messaged your national office about this? This is just about one of the biggest no-nos ever. Stick to the chain of command - start with your chapter advisors, then regional advisors, and escalate the problem from there, if needed. Don't skip 10 steps then wonder why you're not receiving a response, especially because this seems like pretty typical chapter drama.

It sounds like it's just two members who are the problem. How many women are in your chapter? And how long have you been a sister?

Perhaps you need more time. Maybe you need to tap into your big's connections and friends - you said you're close with her. What about making friends with members of the newest or next pledge class?

Once she outed her sorority and said how much she hated it, game over. Yes, this started out smaller, but that blew my mind.

Tom, it is exceedingly clear that this really has nothing to do with money or needing to work. She doesn't like her sorority. She wants to quit. She came here to ask GREEK MEMBERS, who obviously love their organizations, if she should quit. She has made her decision and I guess she thought we would say "Oh they are big meanies who have hated me since I pledged and won't be my friend or talk to me and I hate them all." What do you expect from us when we get that attitude?

It's content like this that makes logging back into GC every once in a blue moon worth it.