Why didn't I get a bid?
 

So I went out for rush in the fall as a jr. but I'm older than than the average jr, which I think is the main reason I didn't get a bid. I'm 24 and transferred into a university from a local college, and most of the girls were fresh out of high school. I missed the opportunity to this right out of high school bc I went to a local college and worked until I knew where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. (I didn't say this) I know a couple of other girls in other groups who were transfers but I was the only one in mine. I also wore a blue keyhole sweater while all the other girls in my group wore sun dresses. The slide show said something like that was okay but I couldn't help feel like I wasn't supposed to dress like I was going for a job interview. I thought the conversations I had with the girls in most of the groups were engaging and nice I talked about leadership roles I had in high school despite it being a while now, my major, trips I'm taking over break, complement them and their house, and asked them general questions about their philanthropys, points, etc. I couldn't help but feel crushed after the first day getting a call saying I didn't get a invite back. While another girl on my floor (whose also a jr.) wore pants as well and didn't even look professional like she just came from class when it was supposed to be a polished day, got two bids. Despite her getting a group I didn't want in the end it just makes me wonder what I did wrong not to even get a bid back on the first day. What makes me feel even worse at one of the pre meetings one girl asked how many girls won't get bids and the gamma chi said we haven't had anyone not get one in a couple of years. What could I have possibly done wrong? I don't think I'm gonna do informal rush bc I was upset when this happened and my friends aren't into Greek life anyway in fact they warned me how dumb they though it was, but it still bothers me bc I was something I wanted to do.

I'm very sorry that recruitment didn't go well for you. We don't know what happened; we weren't there, and we don't know you or your school, so speculation is pointless. The best I can offer is this: hazarding a guess that none of the chapters you visited saw you as a good fit, for whatever reason(s). That's probably of little comfort to you in your disappointment, and I do hope you'll find other activities to engage in so that this fades into the background. As for informal, that's really your choice. Some women shine in less stressful settings. The pressure cooker of formal recruitment isn't for everyone.

I'm very sorry you didn't receive any invites after the first day. I won't speculate beyond a personal experience I had as a recruitment adviser. We had a young lady of your age going thru recruitment and the collegians all asked the same question: why would a 24 year old want to hang out with a bunch of 18-19 year olds? If your campus doesn't have a separate upperclass quota, it's really difficult for them to get a bid-esp juniors of your age. They just don't want to use that place for someone who won't be there 4 years. COB might be a better opportunity for you to separate yourself from the "pack." You didn't mention whether you had your recs in order either - also your social media accounts should be up to par!

"Yale student".

Perhaps, carnation. The thought crossed my mind, too. Especially the "blue keyhole sweater" comment (WTH is that? something a granny would wear?). Let's see if the OP ever comes back, shall we?

Same bad grammar and misspellings.

So maybe not Yale? I'm thinking Stanford.

I thought "keyhole" sweaters, and dresses, and bathing suits were common now?

I'm more concerned with the spelling and grammar. Assuming this is legit, perhaps grades were an issue.

Keyhole cut outs in tops are very trendy right now. It could be appropriate for a house tour or skit day at a school with a more casual and laid-back recruitment.

If this was a formal rush with NPC sororities, no girl got two bids. It doesn't work that way.

Keyhole, okay, trendy; are you talking about the ones I see with holes or cutouts in the shoulders? If so, I didn't know that's what they are called. No, nevermind, I just googled keyhole sweater. Not what I was thinking of at all.

I pictured a high necked sweater with a teardrop shaped cutout at the neckline. Like a granny would wear. I think I've been watching too many PBS British shows (Grantchester in particular).

Those are called cold shoulder tops or alternately "those who cannot remember the 90s are doomed to repeat it" tops.

I think she meant invitations. She got invited back to 2 chapters for round 2. Or that's my interpretation anyway.

Or hoochie mamas in my book!

Yet again, you prove why I am declaring my undying admiration for you, 33! That is definitely signature worthy!


Maybe I missed a post, but a 20-year-old junior doesn't have a lot in common with a 25-year-old junior. That was my take on the lack of invitations.

Mine too.

I got derailed by the granny sweater issue. Now I see that there are names for "trendy" clothing items that are missing parts. Oh my.

I tried googling keyhole top/dress, and I got the same impression -- tear drop style holes in the front or back. So I still don't know what the missing shoulder fabric trend is called.

Anyway, there's a big difference between 24/25 and 19 -- and it almost sounds like the OP led the conversations and did dress/treat this as a job interview, going by the list of topics she mentioned. I have a hunch she quite obviously came across as older and more serious than a typical 19-year-old rusher.

If she would have been at a less traditional, commuter heavy campus she would have probably been fine, but it sounds like this was the opposite of that.

OP, look into some of the professional GLOs that also have a social component. That might be a better fit.

:D

All of this.

I think DubaiSis has it right - she got two invites to the first invite-only round, not two bids.

ROTFLMAO! I hated the cold-shoulder tops in the 90s and I hate that they've made a comeback. Honestly, they look like the shoulder seams ripped, on both sides, indicating that the clothing was poorly made.

I have a high enough GPA thank you very much. Also I'm sorry didn't realize posting on a causal forum would categorize as a place to use correct English/grammar without people judging me through a computer screen. As for the sweater I think it's cute, you don't have to agree with me if you prefer ugly florals that look like your mother's table cloth. For the rest of you who were genuine and wondering what the sweater looked like, it was like this (link below) but in sweater form and in royal blue without the shoulder cutouts. Lastly, I did think that it would be slightly weird being older than a lot of the girls who were going though it. It's just a shame bc it seems like if you missed your opportunity to do it as a freshman/maybe a younger transfer than there's not really a place for you. Which doesn't matter that much I guess, I am really almost done.


https://goo.gl/images/EZhHRm

It's "casual".

Someone suggested that you explore the possibility of an organization related to your major. I would suggest looking into joining a service org. that interests you.

I am sorry that our answers regarding age disappointed you, but age is most likely a factor. It may not seem fair to you, but it is what it is.

Oh my.

I was sincere, and I (a) tried to avoid the whole issue of the age gap (we've gone down that road many many times before) (b) got derailed by the clothing discussion (c) am doing my utmost to follow in FSUZeta's footsteps. Although I do not believe I will ever achieve her degree of kindness. There's that, people. Let's be real.

Thanks to the OP for the photo of the dress. Very pretty.

Since I do tend to swerve a lot: not a trendy dresser (except for leggings which I would NEVER wear as pants!). I stick to the Katharine Hepburn style of clothing as much as possible (think tailored and crisp. I like expensive high quality clothing that lasts forever. Don't have a lot of it, but some of the pieces I own I've had since I was in my 30s, and they are still in good shape. Won't tell you how much I paid. I justify the expense by saying "it cost X number of dollars a year for this piece"). It works for me. And simplifies decision making. I like minimalism, too.

So I did learn something here. And I'm staying out of any more threads like this.

Until the next one.

I would've told them that I was 19. If they pushed back I would have said that I identified as a 19 year old.

Score!

LOL! GC needs a "like" button!

Wow-is it really necessary to correct her spelling?