Bitchy post,sorry
 

Last night I called my sorority house to see how everythinhg was going since last night was our bid night. I talked to my little sis and she was really depressed. We only got 13 girls in our house. we didn't make quota again. Whereas 3 of the five houses did. All of my little's rush crushes went to a different house-- the house that her roommate is in. Her roomie's sorority is known as the rich, skinny, beautiful girls--- our house is known as the fat bitches. My little sis was sad bc the girls we did get just help add credibility to what we our called. She said they are nice, but just like we do everyyear we pretty much give a bid to any girl that comes to our house and we have gotten some wackos.
I understand that just bc someone isn't pretty that they can't be good members. I am by no means gorgeous, but I do my best to look decent-- I color my hair, try to wear nice things etc. My sisters let themselves go. Girls that rush want to live up to an image---so they always go to the other houses.
I heard that the skit we did was so awesome and before rush all the houses get together to show their skits-one house did trl think for a second yr in row and my little's roomie's sorority didn't even show up. We had a great skit last yr too. My little doesn't understand why we couldn't get more girls bc we did an awesome job.
I didn't know what to tell her. The image our house gets is embarressing--it is no way a self-esteem boost. Fraternity's rarely do anything with us. She said she didn't even know if she wanted to be a member anymore bc we take anyone that walks through our door.
Sorry for the rambling--- I hoe you understood what I was trying to say.

It's not so hard for a small house to do a complete 180. You need to convince your leadership (or become leadership and convince the membership) that there is a problem.

I think that being angry with your house and not acting on it is not only frustrating, but cannot really resolve the problem.

Rather than being negative, be positive and try to help the other folks in your house to understand that image IS important. People will not even take the time to get to know you unless you show them a positive image.

Sweety, I can totally understand from where you come!

I met a guy who looked like a real dimwad and thought what the heck is he doing here!

Well today, this Briother is a ball of fire for the Chapter!

We were very quickly becoming the smallest chapter on campus!

We now have 22 new associates and looking for more!

This has already doubled our size and may triple it!

I am just trying to point out that if you try your hardest, you can over come your problems!

Be just you and only you as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but being a speacial person is something special!

Work on getting people who will help change the image! There are many selling tools that can draw people into you Org. Just find those peoples hot buttons and utilize it! Marketing and merchandising your Soroity and what it means! The bonding of the Sisterhood, something that they can become a part of and effect many changes and direct how the Org. changes and does things! Work with egos!:cool:

Hootie, those are excellent tips! Maybe they can have someone from your headquarters to help you girls during recruitment - what they are going to wear, how they are going to present themselves, etc.

I have read many posts on GC where Sisters even get their nails done, check each other's makeup, etc. to make sure they present themselves in a good light.

I can understand your concerns, especially if you want your house to survive on the campus.

It is just so sad that sometimes things do get a bit superficial (being the beautiful, rich, skinny girls or the "fat ******") in the greek world when founders created the organziations to upload special values. (At least it's just my opinion that founders didn't create sororities or fraternities with the goal of being the most beautiful, skinny or athletic, buff people on campus.) But I guess "image" is just another one of those things society places on us.

I"m sorry your chapter is having trouble. But hopefully It will get better.

I agree with what Hootie suggested. Might I also suggest that at a next chapter meeting or retreat that you all have a vent session. Call folks out if you have to. But at the end come up with 5 goals for the house as a whole ( I am doing this with one of my classes). For example, everyone in the house work out together as part of a health kick not just to beautify yourselves but as a commitment to living healthier. Then definitely have a Sisters night out where you all have a Mary KAy consultant come in and teach you all some glamour tips. But don't let the beautification happen for just one night, begin to look glamorous at all you do. To bridge the gap between you and the other sororities, have the Beauty Night be an open event with not only your house, but another house, and prospects as well for both houses as a unity event perhaps.

You might also have a GREEK WEEK (we had it at Wittenberg) and team up with other sororities and fraternities but keep those partnerships for the entire academic year.

Bottom line increasing your presence on the campus will go a long way and after all of that, if you are still small at least your sisterhood within the sorority will be stronger.

Well I've moved so I am really not a part of my house any more. Believe me we have had many "emergency" meetings even advisors and members of housing corp have come. We have an awesome chapter advisor, but our house continues to let anyone who wants a bid to join our house.
One girl in my house always says we're so great bc we are diverse and we aren't cookie cutter, but no one that rushs really cares-some people do. Many freshman girls do want to be in a cookie cutter sorority. It is just like being in the popular group in high school--we all want to be in it, but eventually we realize we're not going to and we find our niche and have a great time, but sometimes it takes awhile to accept that. Everyone wants to fit in--no one wants to be different. WE get all the girls that our dropped by the other houses. luckily we did get 13 bc one house on our campus only got 5 girls. But everyone else made quota.

Lana,
As my thoughts are far too bitchy for public consumption I am PM'ing you. :)

AlphaSiglana,
I hope it works out for your chapter :) Do you plan on going to the meeting if they schedule one?

Lana, I'm honestly not sure where you're coming from.

I can't tell if you're more worried that your sorority isn't cookie cutter and popular, becasue YOU don't want to be in a "loser sorority" or if it is truly because you want bigger numbers.

Not all sororities will have big numbers. There is supposed to be a sorority for every type of woman, not just the thin and beautiful ones. Just because someone is greek, doesn't mean they should feel forced to color their hair, do their nails, and look perfect every day. If all sororities were the cookie cutter popular ones, then there would be no place in Greek life for anyone of different races, economic levels, or body types.

But I guess my main question is: Why would you WANT the freshman girls that come to rush only to be in a superficial popular group? Don't you want women of better stock than that that come to rush to find a true sisterhood, not just a social life?

I have some questions, and I really don't mean for them to sound harsh or insensitive so I hope it doesn't come out that way. Do the women that were just given bids know that their new sisters consider them to be adding credibility to the house being known as "fat bitches"? Do they know that they were picked just for the sake of numbers? Do the women in the house right now know that some of their sisters consider them to be "wackos"?

I just know that if I were a new member, thrilled and excited to have gotten a bid and be a part of a sisterhood, and I found out that my sisters were sad that I got a bid and upset because I was helping to ruin the house's reputation, I would be devastated. And then I would be extremely pissed off, and I might not be too excited about improving the image of the house anymore.

Does this make sense? Maybe it would help to embrace the situation as it is right now before the members try and force makeovers on anyone. I'm sure there may be new members who know that they are looked down upon, but there may be a new member or two who is just terribly excited about the fact that she was given a bid and is accepted despite her appearance. When she finds out otherwise you might just lose her.

Shine & pbear19

Those are very excellent points

THe sister I was referring to as wacko--- dropped out. She told everyone how she used to be addicted to crack etc. The last week of school she called me and said ," Be glad it is the last week of school or I would kick your ass for talking shit," She had been brought up to standards bc many girls had written letters of complaints regarding her behavior of disrepect etc. Standards had my letter out in plain view so that is why she said I talked shit.
No I don't care if our house isn't perfect.
On another note---four of my sisters were in a car together and hit a guy that was walking. He was a drunk(not that that makes the situation better) and they didn't see him. He flipped up over the car and is now in critical condiiton. My sisters are fine except emotionally.

Point blank, if you're embarrased to be in your sorority, or embarassed that your sisters perpetuate the "fat bitch" stereotype, you should really consider leaving.

You should love you sorority for what it is, not what it could be, or what you wish it was.

hey i'm PMing you...

as sad as it may seem, i totally understand what alphasiglana is saying. that was how my sorority was branded on my campus. a lot of the girls in my chapter felt the exact same way. some of them did chose to leave, but that just made the numbers issue that much worse. we were called the sigma kows point blank by other members of the greek system. so i totally understand where you're coming from. having a couple of make over nights or whatever isn't going to do it. in my case we basically ended up being the outcasts and were eventually pushed off campus.
as for the whole new members thing, i agree with pbear. my own little said the same thing, that if we make our new members feel like they are just numbers and not really sisters then we have completely defeated out purpose of being a sisterhood.
regardless of how you feel about the new members looks or whatever, you need to make them feel welcome and wanted. otherwise you will have even more of a numbers problem on your hands when they chose to leave.

shelley j
sigma k

I totally feel what your saying girl. I mean my sorority is the same way. Like I think we are too quick to let everyone through out door. And you do have to somewhat selective and I don't mean you have to recruit drop dead gorgeous girls but QUALITY girls who are involved in the school and community, are smart and have good GPA's and show qualities of leadership and seem dedicated to upholdiong your sororities's standards. And sometimes it feels like people let themselves go not only with their looks but their grades and the way they conduct themselves. Its like they don't care what people think about them and while its true to a certain extent you shouldn't care too much, you are not only representing yourself, but your are representing your whole organization. Trust me I am going through the same thing right now.

I agree
 

I totally agree with phisigsigchic. My sorority had let itself go over the years, and even gained the reputation as the alcholic sorority. Over the past few years though our sorority has turned around. I'm not saying that I'm not proud of my alumni because they all turned out to be excellent girls in the end, but I'm even prouder of the girls I call my sisters today. It has been a never ending project though to regain and keep our excellent repuation we have today. Also as far as anything Shine has to say. How can anyone give out sisterhood advise when she walked away from her own sorority. Everyone please practice what you preach.

i have to say i agree with opagal on that one shine.

shelley j
sigma k

where's the love?
 

wow I'm not feeling the Greek love :(

Firstly, I think it was kinda rude to bash Shine (or anyone) like that. No one knows why she decided to leave her sorority, and rightly so, that is her business and is not obligated to tell everyone what might have happened to cause her to make a decision. And her sisters even made her feel terrible about it.

Secondly, I think it's kind of sad that other members of the greek community outcast GLO's because they are "alcoholics" or "fat" or whatever. I have read SO many posts on this board that show how much Greek love there is in the world, and how all greek systems should stick together. And they should. Many schools have terrible anti-greek sentiments and so they need to stick together to help the system survive. I think maybe sometimes under some circumstances, GLO's forget why their organizations were founded. Some just focus way too much on having numbers, or having the most beautiful members, or being the most popular on campus.

well, it's not always a matter of the schools having an anti greek sentiment. my school is about 75% - 85% greek and no i'm not exaggerating. we have 5 alpha chapters (beta theta pi, delta zeta, phi kappa tau, phi delta theta, and sigma chi)and we currently boast approximately 26 fraternities (all NIC) and 18 sororities (all NPC). each sorority claims anywhere from 60-150 members each. also we are supposed to be the model/leading greek system for all other's to go by. now i don't mean to sound pompus or anything, but those are the facts. either way we are ultra greek, yet this is still happening. we have problems of fraternities and sororities simply not making the grade and essentially being pushed off campus b/c they can't keep up with the "big dawgs" per say. like i mentioned earlier, my chapter was a perfect example. so were two others that have gone off campus. once your numbers get below about 60, you are considered weak and not worth keeping up as far as most are concerned.
i'm sorry to rant, but this is a very valid concern for a lot of people. sorry if i don't seem very lovey dovey for the greek system at times, but i was very burned when i was an undergrad.

shelley j
sigma k

alphaiota,
in my previous post, one of the main points was just sticking together as a greek system.. whether or not there was an anti-greek sentiment on campus. why alienate a chapter? maybe i just don't understand beacuse i'm from a small school, and even though the school i attend is bigger, i have seen the social GLO's on this campus, and they stick together no matter what.

Shine SAID:
Why would you WANT the freshman girls that come to rush only to be in a superficial popular group? Don't you want women of better stock than that that come to rush to find a true sisterhood, not just a social life?

I agree with Shine, although I'd like to clarify that I don't think that the girls who are considered more attractive by society should also be condemned by that same society to the lackluster virtues of shallowness and superficiality (of course, I understand Shine would never and did not ever imply this).

I hope that all of these girls found the best home for themselves.

XOXO,
Annie.

;)

Editted:

:p

XOXO,
Annie.

Re: I agree
 

All I am going to say to you in the public forums is this:

You don't know why I left OPA. It was hardly "walking away".

The things I was stating to Lana are nothing but common sense. Anyone that has been through life knows these things. It was almost like she was saying. "I'm depressed because my friends are not cool enough. All the cool people hang out with other cool people because my friends are fat bitches and don't dress well." That's something any person can understand, greek or not.

I do know very well what sisterhood means. Not only do I have a real sister that I cherish, but I am still close with many women from OPA.

Best of luck to your chapter of OPA. I hear you do some wonderful things down there.

Note: If I am wrong, Lana, please correct me. Because that is how you came off in your first post, at least to me.

Wow, way to make random judgements without knowing any of the facts!

We have no idea why Shine decided to leave her sorority, so let's just give her the benefit of a doubt that she did indeed do the RIGHT THING for the RIGHT REASONS.

XOXO,
Annie.

I have no idea what it's like to be in a Greek system as big as Miami's, but considering one of the fraternity brothers on here from Miami didn't even know ASA was an NPC group on his campus, I would wager it is a heck of a lot different than a campus w/ under 10 of each.

I think what Lana is trying to say has gotten twisted, but let me tell you that when you are under constant pressure to increase numbers it doesn't give you a shiny happy feeling overall.

Shine, I don't know why you left OPA, that's your business and you did what you felt was best. But on the other hand, you can't be completely shocked when someone questions your fitness to offer an opinion. With what you have given us, it could look to some like you just walked away and are saying to Lana "well if you think it sucks, just quit like I did." I AM NOT saying that's the situation, but remember all we have to go on are a couple of posts.

Lana,

I come from a small school with only 4 NPCs. This means that reputations can take over a house and haunt them for years. It is up to the chapter to make the decision that they want to improve. I don't know about the practices of your GLO, but I assume that there is some sort of national program that is geared towards membership improvement and recruitment. How to find, keep and make better "GLO" ladies. Contact your HQ and request a consultant come spend a weekend with the chapter and really work on improving the chapter from the inside.

I understand what you are saying about appearances. It doesn't seem to me that you are saying that you want the house with the "perfect" and gorgeous girls necessarily, but a house full of sisters who take pride in themselves and their GLO. On my campus, it was an unwritten law that you don't wear your letters or pin unless you are presentable- hair combed, teeth brushed, no sweats, etc. You can't sell your organization if others do not percieve you as taking pride in it.

Hope those ideas help

Melissa

shine, i want to apologize for saying you didn't have a place to talk about sisterhood. i was wrong. i guess i spoke before i thought.
33girl - asa is no longer at miami's campus which could be a reason that guy doesn't know who they are. they went dormant almost 2 years ago now, dec. my chapter followed in may of 2001.
in miami's ultra greek system it doesn't surprise me that some frats don't know certain sororities and vice verse b/c of size factors. if you didn't have over 60 members or so (for a sorority) you didn't get invited to party with almost any of the frats. do you think my chapter ever partied with one of the alpha's? hell no, they were too big and bad for us.
i guess what i'm trying to say is being frustrated about numbers is typical and believe it or not can put so much stress on someone that they have to make the choice to either push through or get out. by the time we closed our chapter at miami, most of my sisters had some sort of stress induces illness from mono to depression. so i know it can seriously effect your personal well being.

shelley j
sigma k

Shelley - he was there at the time ASA was still there which was why I was kind of shocked that he didn't know who or what we were. He apologized profusely, but it still made me upset.