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Read before rushing...
Well, here are a few insider tips for the rushees that I wish I had known:
1. Never say do anything in front of a Rho Chi that you would not do at a party. RC's are supposed to disaffiliate, but in many cases they do NOT. If you say or do something that offends her, the chapter WILL find out. The same goes for Panhellenic officers. 2. It is okay to ask about the social calendar, but DO NOT mention a specific fraternity that you are like or dislike. The exception is if you refer to a father being Greek, or a brother being Greek on a different campus. Different chapters have diffent relations with fraternities, and you don't want to gush over a frat they hate. You also don't want the sisters to go to a frat that you have friends in and press them for information, because you never know what the guys will say. 3. If you are interested in leadership positions, SAY SO. Chapters like to hear that women are excited to get involved. The same goes for living in the chapter house. If the chapter has a house to fill, they want girls to live there. 4. When asked what you did over the summer, talk about something other than your part-time job. Chapters are looking for women who can make a financial commitment, and, unfortunatley, part-time jobs may sound as though you can not. If you went on any sort of vacation, that is a much better topic, even if it was one week and your job was three months. 5. Be sure to mention all your awards, honors societies, clubs, activities, and volunteer work. These are things the chapter is looking for. 6. If you are a sophomore, don't be afraid to admit that you are on the five-year plan. If you changed your major, this is perfectly acceptable (remember that we know your GPA anyway). This means you have four more years, so it will put you on the same level as freshmen. Let me just say that I do not agree with all the politics involved, but unfortunately they are true. I can't help that some Rho Chi's are dishonest or that some chapters look for money, I am just trying to help the rushees avoid problems. |
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For example: there is nothing wrong with saying you had a summer job; just don't say that you hated it or talk about how annoying your co-workers were. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif |
My advice is if you have hooked up with a frat boy, do NOT mention it to any of the sisters. There was one case where a PNM was talking to one of the sisters about a guy from XYZ fraternity that she had hooked up with the night before (mention nothing about hook ups...it makes you look sleazy). When the sister asked the PNM for the name of the guy, well, it coincidentally happened to be the sister's boyfriend. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif DeltaBetaBaby is right in saying do not talk about any of the guys in the fraternity. I have had so many girls be like, "Oh! I hung out with XYZ fraternity this summer! Do you John Smith?! Or how about Joe Schmoe?!" It makes you look like all your interested in are the "guy" aspects of the sorority. Talk up your other interests which have nothing to do with boys.
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I thought those were some great suggestions! Great insight from someone who has been there done that.
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The rho chi thing is kinda true. After the parties last fall, our Panhellenic rep would come over to give us "the word on the street." Our rho chis would find some way to get in touch with us. It was usually just to say, "Y'all are doing great! The rushees won't stop talking about you!" My future roomie is going to be a rho chi, and we've already made plans for contacting each other during rush!
The rest of the advice is good. It does stink that there is so much politics involved, but there's not a whole lot you can do about it...except use it to your advantage! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif |
Okay, I'm not *positive* this applies to sorority rush, but for a service org I'm in that has a rush, and we have lots of sorority girls in it, we're warned of playing the "name game"
For example, don't say "If you're from Townsville, do you know Jane?" because the rusher may dislike her, etc. The story that we pass around is that one girl came through and said "oh, you're from my town! do you know John?" the rusher said "yeah, I do!" the rushee said "he's my boyfriend" and the rusher said "um, no he's MY boyfriend" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif We're always told to steer away from those convos whenever possible - in our rush workshops they always tell us to avoid the name game! |
about the "name game"... i'm not sure if i agree although i do see your point. a lot of times when a rushee and i know people in common (maybe even at school) it gives us something good to talk about. it's true, though, if a girl names somebody who i've heard negative things about or who i think is maybe a weirdo, it won't really reflect positively on her.
if a rushee and a sister know someone in common, it might be ok to talk about him/her, but the rushee should refrain from saying anything strange. last year i had a girl mention a guy i knew from freshman year. i said i thought he was really nice, blah blah blah, we started telling random stories about him, then she was like "y'all should date." that was kind of weird. |
Please, even if you have NO interest at all in a particular sorority, don't talk trash about them while you are still in their house. I had some girls do that this last spring and it was SO rude. I mean I was standing right there with them... all they showed was that they lack the decency to at least be away from any of the sisters before they started talking trash. Or maybe they just wanted to make sure we would cut them... lol. Well it worked!
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Here are other suggestion:
1) The first day of recruitment is always exciting, nerveracking, hectic, etc. By the end of the day you may very well be tired, hungry, and ready to go home. Remember that the sorority girls feel the same way. Be as positive about the very last sorority as you were for your first. This may also win you points with that sorority because they will think, "wow, it's the end of the day and she stayed positive and interested." 2) Obviously if you're here at GC, you know more than the average potential new member...use that to your advantage. We get sick of saying the same things at every party (ex: what's your major, let me tell you about our philanthropy...). Ask things about Greek life that you've seen on this site. 3) Don't walk out of a party and start bashing the sorority. They may not be your faves but that doesn't mean other people in your Rho Chi group feel the same or you may be downing your Rho Chi's house. However, if the girls leave you alone at party, make you feel uncomfortable, or offer you a verbal bid, tell your Rho Chi right away because you don't need to take that. |
I don't think there is anything wrong with saying your boyfriend (your serious boyfriend, not your "whatever" from the night before) is in so and so fraternity. No sorority WANTS to have bad relations with a fraternity, and if you are on good terms with one of them, it could work in your favor that if you became a member you could maybe smooth the waters a bit.
But on the other hand don't come in wearing your boyfriend's letters and think you are the cat's a$$ because of it. No one likes attitude and it's bad enough to have it on your own, let alone having "achieved" it through a man. Something else that may be helpful is to keep a rush journal (well hidden, of course) to vent all your feelings/thoughts at the end of the day. That way if the first idea you have of XYZ is "what geeks!" you won't feel like such an idiot when you're overjoyed that they are your sisters at the end of rush week. You can just rip out that page and shred it. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif |
Some more thoughts...
Remember the women in your Rho Chi group because they may be your sister after rush. Rush is fun and frightening on both sides.. I have to say honestly I hated rush. It is just like four nights of job interviews: Did I wear the right thing? Say the right thing? Is it okay that I don't look great 24 seven? Did I ask the right questions? Was I too eager, did I laugh to loud? Do I smell??? But on our side remember we are asking: Did they hate our cheers/songs/speeches? Are our outfits okay? Do we compare to the other sororities? Did we make her feel at home? Does she know how much we want her here? What is she thinking? Did we look cheesy? It is tough.. for everyone. I am recruitment chair and I told me sisters to do whatever it takes to make them feel at home first because that relaxes the girls coming through. I want my sisters to have fun because then I know you will have fun. Other tips: Stick away from Prefume and body lotions, you may be outside and that attracts bugs... Also don't complain about how hot you are.. we are too... we were just singing and clapping for ten minutes while you got off the air conditioned bus... we are sweaty and tired from working since 8AM... please think about how that make you feel., The BEST ADVICE I got from ANYONE about rush was this: Look at the girls during rush.. Could you get up there and do what they are doing next year? Because if you join them you will be! That really impacted my decision. I wanted to go a certain org since I decided to rush, but at the second round of parties one of the sisters was wearing a white jumpsuit with green underwear.. I was so embarressed for her and even more, WHY DIDNT SOMEONE TELL HER! That made me decide I couldn't be a sister there if someone wouldn't tell me my underwear showed through! Good luck and keep us updated! Sarah ------------------ "...and love her for her womanhood." |
Sarah,
That was a great anecdote! I think you just summed up sisterhood. I am really struggling with my pref party speech, and believe it or not, you just inspired me. Thanks! |
That underwear thing is kind of funny, but also sad in a way. I very much agree with you, that I wouldn't want to be with people 24/7 who wouldn't look out for me in embaressing (or even dangerous) situations. That reminds me of when I was in junior high school and I wore a purple bra with a white shirt. This girl that sat behind me, instead of nicely telling me, sat there laughing and talking behind my back about it. She called me "purple bra flasher" from then on, and that really pissed me off! I wouldn't want to be her friend, anyhow! I would definitely tell someone (discreetly) about something like that, even if they were only an aqquaintance.
------------------ ***Tinkerbell*** ~~~Don't worry, be happy!~~~ |
Isn't it unreal all of the "politics" that go along with Recruitment? I honestly wish that we didn't have to give the girls "advice" on what is appropriate to do, or say, or wear. That's one of the reasons Greek Life was a big turn off for me...however, going through with Rush and being initiated into my organization was one of the best decisions of my life. My advice to everyone going through Recruitment is to be yourself, act the way you want to, say what is going through your mind and wear what you want to...because all of these things make up you. By doing this, we cut all the crap (pardon my language) and really find out the person you are, inside and out. Because in the end, this is all that matters. I'm just glad all of my sisters in AGD love me for who I am, and I'm sure everyone else (despite what sorority they are apart of) who can say this is just as glad for their sisters as I am for mine.
------------------ Whitney |
Back to the name game. It's ok to do it, as long as you do it well. What i mean is, if it's a small town, it might work, just becareful of stumbling on something not too cool. One PNM at my house was from the same town as one of the sisters, and proceeded to dis the quarterback of the local football team. Unfortunately for her, it turned out to be that sister's cousin!
Don't do it for a fairly large city or country. I'm from Canada, and I got quite a few "do you know jenny a, i think she lives in Toronto." Keep in mind Toronto has a population of 5 million. Becareful of assuming the size of a place, you might end up looking like and idiot ------------------ Travelling with no boundaries, moving in imaginary. |
I'm amazed that no one has responded to what DeltaBetaBaby posted at the origin of this topic. As I read what was posted, my mouth literally dropped open. It is embarrassing that these poor HS girls are reading this, and knowing no better, believe what you say.
This is the first thing I do not agree w/. <<1. Never say do anything in front of a Rho Chi that you would not do at a party. RC's are supposed to disaffiliate, but in many cases they do NOT. If you say or do something that offends her, the chapter WILL find out. The same goes for Panhellenic officers.>> I go to a private Southern school where Rush is EXTREMELY competitive, cut throat, etc., yet I have never heard of nor have I experienced this kind of deception through a Rho Chi. Rho Chi's are supposed to be someone that the rushees can trust when they cant trust anyone else. It's difficult to talk to other potential members about rush because who knows who they talk to, and during silence you aren't supposed to talk to anyone except for immediate family members. Rho Chi's are the only ones who have the ability to give an unbiased opinion to rushees. My Rho Chi's were amazing, and I felt like I could talk to them about anything. They gave awesome, unbiased advice, and I don't think potential members should be told to distrust them. And Dianne, it is an embarrassment to Panhellenic that you have already figured out how to cheat the system and the new girls trust by talking to your friend who is a Rho Chi. I can't believe you are actually bragging about that. Problem # 2. <<4. When asked what you did over the summer, talk about something other than your part-time job. Chapters are looking for women who can make a financial commitment, and, unfortunatley, part-time jobs may sound as though you can not. If you went on any sort of vacation, that is a much better topic, even if it was one week and your job was three months. >> Are you kidding me? So if you have a job you aren't financially capable of being in a sorority??? That is such a stereotype that is being continued thru an ignorant statement such as that. So basically what you are saying is that if you don't have daddy's money paying for everything, and have no responsibility for yourself, you cannot be a sister w/ us. Just disgraceful. My parents have instilled responsibility in me since the age of 16. I had my first job then, and my parents are very well off. I have never "needed" to work, yet it gives me a sense of accomplishment and worth. My parents do not cater to my every need, and I have had a full time job every summer since I was legally allowed to. I would think that someone w/ a job would be MORE able to pay the dues than someone who did not. Also, I would think that responsibility is a character trait you would want in a member of your chapter. Because of my job experience, I now have the ability to juggle many things at once. This will enable me to be an awesome intramural chair next year. I could go on and on about this, but I will stop now. I just think it is a disgrace to tell girls they should have to hide the fact that they work. To put it simply, that is just ridiculous. If I was not a member of the greek system and read these posts, I would laugh first of all and then thank the Lord that was not something I was a part of. We need to respect people for who they are and what kind of character they have... not anything else. Sarah |
I have to agree with Sarah about the the job thing. By choice, not need, I volunteered at a Girl Scout camp at 14, taking care of horses (yes, this means shoveling horsey doo-doo). Ever since then I have had jobs (mostly in the summer, some during school). My mother gave me an allowance, but I chose to get a job so I could learn responsibility, build a resume, and have more money, thus more freedom to buy and do things that I wanted.
This past summer I worked at a Girl Scout camp, and I don't see why I should have to hide this. I was underpaid, and if I'd cared about making even more money, I could have worked 40hrs/week retail or restaraunt. Instead I chose to be a role-model to younger girls, and it was an enriching, though not always easy experience. I even got a certification in First Aid/CPR there. I don't see why I should be ashamed of this. It shows that I have the will to help others, and goals in life as well. I wouldn't want to be in a sorority with girls who think that it's okay to live off of other people's money for the rest of their lives, anyhow. To think that some people graduate from college and don't even know how to write a resume! I began writing a resume at age 12 that included my babysitting experience!!! LOL maybe I can make some money in college helping people write their resumes! Sorry, I'm just rambling now... ------------------ ***Tinkerbell*** ~~~Don't worry, be happy!~~~ |
I would also have to agree about the job thing. Last year during rush I was talking to one of the rushees during an event. We were talking about summer jobs and I asked her if she had worked this past summer. Her response was 'Nope. I have never worked a day in my life.' To me this shows lack of responibility and initiative. Not the fact that she hadn't had a job but because she was so proud that she hadn't. But this girl was wierd to begin with..during house tours her pager went off and she picked up a girls phone in the house and called her friend back!!!
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Okay, I actually do know of houses on my campus where girls were told to ask what you did that summer and evaluate it in terms of: summer job=poor vs. trips to europe=well off. They would also try to judge how expensive your haircut, shoes and watch (don't wear one) are. However, this was actually one of the weaker houses on campus. Someone made this point before, I don't know who. But often times it the weaker houses trying to boost their image that play games like this whereas the stronger houses are looking for more important things.
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Well, I have a summer job, work during the school year, and am jetting of to Italy next Friday, what does that make me? What you do in your spare time is no judge of your monetary worth. Being on scholarship doesn't mean you need them, and working part time doesn't mean you're poor. I like having the extra spending money, the job market is super competitive now, and my work is interesting! If you want, you WILL find a way to pay dues, it is possible! I should know, I pay for mine, and still have enough to indulge my shoe fetish. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
------------------ Travelling with no boundaries, moving in imaginary. |
Hells Bells from a male! I was a soda jerk, grease monkey, mopped and waxed floors, lumped semi trailers, built combines, and worked at a chemical company!
I had to pay to get to college!!! My Daddy told me Boy, you can work and get a car and work, or you can work and go to college! I took the later! DA! Some are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, I was born with wit a wooden paddle on my butt! NEVER, NEVER be embaressed by what you are! If you do, then YOU embaress Yourself. If you look at many important people they grew up on the wrong side of the tracks! They became important people that run the every day life of us all. I grew up on the tracks! I will never rue the things that I have done in my life as they are my prints on the world that I live in! I hope you have the same good luck that I have had in my life time! ------------------ Tom Earp LX Z#1 Pittsburg State U. (Kansas) |
Okay, guys, I stand corrected on the part about summer jobs. Although there are houses that will see this negatively, those are probably chapters you don't want to be a part of anyhow. At one house, when I said I worked all summer, it was followed up with "really? what do your parents do for a living?" which is a question no rushee should ever have to answer.
As a side note, though, other vacations, etc. may just happen to be a more interesting conversation topic. On the other hand, I stand behind what I said about the Rho Chis. If you come into your rush group talking about getting drunk, hooking up, or anything else you shouldn't be doing, don't think that your rho chi won't tell the chapter. If you bash a house in front of your rho chi (which you shouldn't be doing anyway), and it happens to be her house, you can be damn sure you won't be invited back. This is not some terrible betrayal on the part of the rho chi's, it is just how things are. She has the right to speak up if she really does not feel you should be in her house. |
Just remembering some tips:
1) Try not to mention names in conv. Ex-my big was telling me about this girl who was rushing my sorority and was telling her all about this guy John Doe in XYZ fraternity who she was in love with and was so excited we did a lot of stuff w/ them because she really wanted to snag him. Unfortunately, John Doe was my big's b/f of 3 years. Yeah...needless to say, she didn't recieve any more invitations back. 2) Some excellent advice I recieved before I rushed was to notice your surroundings. Girls in each house are going to tell you the same things...we do all these wonderful philanthropies, we're very diverse, etc etc etc. WHile they're all true, actions speak louder than words. Look around at how the sisters treat each other. DO they all smile at each other or are they shooting each other nasty glares when they brush past? Do they offer to help another sister out who may be passing out drinks or the such or do they just let her struggle an ask for help? Stuff like that. It was really great advice. 3) DO NOT drop out just because the sorority of your dreams cuts you!!! You WILL end up in the right place if you play by the rules. You may be devestated, but just pick yourself up and go back to the houses that asked you back. They see something awsome in you, so look for whats awsome about them, too. |
I'm glad the issue of jobs has been cleared up. I had written a post, but my server got nutty and I wasn't able to send it. What I was going to say was that in my chapter, we look favorably upon girls who work during the summer, and especially during the school year. We have Deferred Recruitment, and by the time it rolls around, a semester has passed and most girls are familiar enough with their academic/financial situation and if they're willing to take on the added financial burden, we're more than willing to call them our sister. Part of it's just the school I go to. Tuition, room, board, and all that costs a grip, and it's pretty hard NOT to find someone who did AT LEAST an internship over the summer. Most of our girls work during the summer, and about 75%work during the school year. I don't think I'd want to be in a sorority with women who judged me on how I spent my summer, using that information to decide whether or not I can pay to be a member. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif
One thing I definitely feel is important is personal appearance...and I'm not talking about dress. I know that during the school year, I saw a lot of girls running around sloppy drunk, hooking up with guys left and right, and being really idiotic in discussion sections (flirting with TAs, etc). They didn't do so well in Rush, because by the time it rolled around, they had fairly bad reputations. The advice for women going through Deferred Rush is a lot different from that for those going through "traditional" Rush. Maybe over Winter Break, we can come up with some additional advice? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif |
I'm a bit worried about something. I am really looking at rushing Kappa Delta but the only thing that I am worried about is I used to hang out at this certain fraternity and well I kinda dated this one guy there and well things turned pretty bad between us and I am hoping that the KD girls that I hung out with there won't let that affect their decions of me when I'm rushing.
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