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devastation
I am so worried about RUSH. i know i will be SO SO SO SO devastated if i don't get into a sorority. and you all know what i mean, not just any sorority but the one i really love and think i fit well w/ and all. Anyways, are any of you close w/ girls who rushed and really wanted it, but didnt get a bid?? how did they react??? how do they feel about it now?? ex: are they happier? bitter? still tryin to make it?? sorry for all the questions but im just curious. ive got this http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif sinking http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif feeling i just won't cut it. oh well, i think im just in one of those wierd moods. thanks http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
Liz [This message has been edited by CRMSNTiDEGRL717 (edited June 23, 2001).] |
I know exactly how you are feeling!!! I am in the process of filling out my application, and I'm thinking things like "what if I'm not good enough?, what if the sorority I really like doesn't offer me a bid?" I'm getting so nervous and worried!! I know I should just go on if I don't get a bid from my top choice, but....oh well I don't even know what to say except for the fact that I know what you are going through!!
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Hi Liz! I sent you an e mail
------------------ @~Tracy~@ By the light of the lamp, by the light of the lamp, by the bright shiny light, by the light of the lamp...if you are a DeeZee, you're the best that you can be, by the bright shiny light of the lamp! |
Well, I'm a guy so I'm not in a sorority, but I think it applies to everyone. I didn't get a bid from the fraternity I originally wanted to be a part of, but then I realized I was there for the wrong reasons. A friend of mine who was a DU had me come by their house during Spring rush and that's where it all started -- everything happens for a reason, keep that in mind! I'm glad that I am a DU and am THANKFUL I didn't get that bid from the other chapter. They did me a big favor whether or not I thought of it that way at the time.
Brian |
I know several girls who didn't get into any house at UA and turned out just fine. And I know a LOT of girls who didn't get into their top choice, but realized later that they ended up in what turned out to be the best house for them. My advice about UA rush is relax and don't take it so seriously. I'm sure you will be fine. And it is VERY hard to get into a "bad" house at UA. Even if you don't get into your top choice. There are just too many good houses there.
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Heya. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif CRMSNTiDEGRL, I went through formal rush and I actually didn't make it, when I went through my first time. I was tense and nervous, but going through formal helped me meet all the sororities, and find out what one was most like me. I remained friends with a lot of the KD's, and a year later, and after rushing informally, I am a sister in Kappa Delta! I'd say go through formal, and is you get into one, GREAT! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif If not, then you've already met all the girls, you know what they're like. You can always rush the sorority you like informally later.
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Hi--
Many, many on this board didn't get our first choice or dropped out the first time because we didn't like our returns. I don't believe that anyone felt like it was character-building at the time...however, we're all happy now! The summer before I rushed the second time, I was a basket case because of nervousness and because my camp counseling job ended a full month before rush started. My parents made me go volunteer and stay busy otherwise and I'm glad. If you have 1 job, work extra or get a second one! Volunteer! Do anything you can to keep your mind off rush! |
thanks everyone http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif i'm just worried and anxious. i think i will be until after rush http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif then atleast i'll know where i stand!
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Dear CRMSNTiDEGRL717:
Don't worry, I thought I wanted AChiO, and when it didn't work out during their informal rush, I came back for Fall Formal, and knew then I that fate had lead me to Theta. Now, after being active, and knowing all the houses, there was no other house on this campus that could fit me as well as Theta. Things happen for a reason. My best friend convinced me to come back to Fall rush after the disappointment in informal, it is wasn't for her, I would have never gone back. She wanted AOPi above all others, and set her sights, she ended up being cross dropped, and didn't get a house. Theta wasn't the kick butt house, like the others 'seemed' to be, so she didn't even try, and got dropped...she ended up with nothing. I felt really bad getting a bid from all the houses that I wanted, but I also tried hard at every house to speak to as many girls and hold good conversations. You have to be yourself, you have to showcase yourself. If you don't get into your #1 house, any house you will a small group of friends that you click with. In now way can you ever be friends with all 100 girls, you are lucky if you find 30 girls you are very good friends with... Don't worry, good luck! ------------------ *Nancy* *Kappa Alpha Theta* *Zeta Theta Chapter* |
I've posted on my situation before, but I'll give a condensed version here:
I transferred to LSU in the Spring of Freshman year, when there was no formal (or informal) rush. I rushed formally in the fall, and was cut from 8 of the 10 houses after round I. I was cut from my top choice of the 2 for pref, and I just dropped out from rush. A friend had me go to an informal for her house in the spring of that year and was told they had to cut me because I had been cut by them before. Last summer, I started regretting dropping rush, so I decided to go through again as a junior (hence the nick, juniorgrrl http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif ). Because of the cut once, cut always rule, I was cut from 9 of the 10 houses after round 1. The house I was invited back to cut me after round 2 (despite having a friend in there who I know was pushing hard to get me in). This spring, the same house I rushed informally the year before called me back. They bugged the hell outa me for a week, making sure I'd come to their party and then never called me back. Am I worse off for not being greek? No. Am I bitter? A bit. Does it screw with your self-esteem? Somewhat. I still see girls and go "Wow, she's an XYZ?!?!" and wonder what they have that I didn't. My choices are exhausted for joining a NPC group as an undergrad @ LSU. I've been cut from all 10 houses and therefore, they couldn't take me, even if they wanted to http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif But hey, I still think I'm cool http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif |
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Tracy |
Great post worriedsenior... with that attitude, you guys will do great.
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juniorgrrl--- i'm glad to see you've risen above what has happened to you. it sux that things work like that http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif and i think you're cool too!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif thanks for sharing your experience w/ me(us) http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif
worriedsenior---- i agree, that was a really great post, and very inspiring http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif [This message has been edited by CRMSNTiDEGRL717 (edited June 24, 2001).] |
One of my sisters went to three prefs... KD, AGD and AOPi. She wanted KD so bad she could taste it but for whatever reason wrote KD first and then AGD second and didn't put a third choice. She didn't get KD. She was so hurt, and her Rho Chi, who was a KD told her that she should go to the bid day for AGD even though she said she didn't want the bid. Her rho chi told her that things happen for a reason and at least give it a try. She did, and now, three and a half years later she is a rho chi for next fall. She says that she wouldn't want to be anything but an AGD now, because that is where her home and heart is.
One of the women we got last year suicided Phi Mu and didn't make it. She came to our bid day party with her roommate and now she says she wouldn't be paid to be anything but AGD. I know sometimes you think you were cut for no reason and it hurts to be rejected, but everything does happen for a reason.. someone up above looks out for you to help you home. ------------------ "...and love her for her womanhood." |
Have you guys summed up the anxiety and fears I've been having for months...or what? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
It's really cool to know that there are all these awesome GC folks to give advice and to inspire. I look forward sharing my rush story with all of you in two months! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif I really and truly hope that I'll be able to call some of you "sister" before long. And if I don't make the cut, then I'll try again at informal! K, now I get sappy. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif I think part of my anxiety stems from high school...see, there were four high school sororities, or "juniorette clubs," and they all chose who THEY wanted. For four years I hoped and prayed that one of the clubs would come to my house on "rush day", as they called it, but it never happened. There was absolutely no type of formal recruitment...hence we did not even have a chance to "try out" (as rush in college kind of allows us to do). I went through all four years, very involved in extracurricular activities and immersed in my academics. I had friends who were in the clubs and friends who weren't. Nothing hurt worse than having a friend in a club who raved to me about "Bon Voyage" (annual "sisterhood retreat" to the beach), Greek Week, or how much fun she had at Christmas Ball (an exclusive formal)...or even having to sit behind a girl in class who was in one of the clubs, and having to look at all her club shirts from initiation and all the above mentioned. It was like a pit in the bottom of my stomach, wondering what these girls had that I didn't. I was never able to figure out why I was never asked into a club, and to this day I still don't know. I think that might be one of the prime reasons why Rush is so important to me. I am determined to find a sisterhood to be a part of these next four years. I want to be a part of a support network of fun, joy, laughter, and even tears. This is why more than half my posts have been about recs, how to get them, the right way to ask, etc., because they are so important in the South! I know that if I am dropped from all the houses I will be really upset...BUT at least there is COB and informal rush to keep hope alive! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif LOL....still alive out there? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif |
I'm so nervous about rush too. I just have this sinking feeling that I won't get a bid at all, let alone one from a house that I really like. I always get paranoid about things, and I always think that the worst is going to happen. It's not good. I am going to try to put rush out of my mind until school starts. I think that is probably the best plan for me.
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I will make it my PERSONAL mission to help any GC-er who needs help in Rush! I may not know much about Southern Rush...but I really want to help someone!
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orchid2--- i hear ya, i hear ya. i want EVERYTHING it is you typed. and while im so thankful for GC, the MAIN reason i want it so bad now, is b/c of all the WONDERFUL people ive met on here; hence, making those doubtful thoughts MUCH worse. i wish you all the luck in the world at JSU and w/ RUSH. you seem like an awesome person and i sincerely hope everything turns out GREAT. who knows, maybe me and you could end up being sisters!!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif |
One of my best friends who was also my roommate, rushed my sorority three times. She was not offered a bid the first two times she rushed and even though she wouldn't admit it, I know she was very hurt. For a little while she hated the whole greek system, vowing to never ever rush again. Of course, now she would probably ask herself how she could have ever thought that.
Not only was she devistated but so was I. She hung out with all of us, went to events that she didn't even have to go to, just because she wanted to help. I rushed her sooo hard and I felt like I had failed her as a friend because I couldn't convice my sisters that she really was great!! She would always ask me what she was doing wrong, and why she wasn't getting a bid, and of course you all know you can't say why. However, it finally turned out that everything was a misunderstanding. I eventually was able to talk her into rushing again, and she was extended a bid. The whole time while I was trying to straighten things out was miserable for me and the other girls who really knew what a great asset she would be to our sorority. Even though it was a rough road it was all worth it in the end!!! When the rush chair said that we were going extend her a bid, I was never so happy in my life. It was great going to our dorm room and calling her down and then seeing her face when we asked her to become our new sister. All the hard work had payed off and now I'm not the only person who knows how great she is. |
CRMSNTiDEGRL717, lindsay_iu, worriedsenior, orchid2, you women are way ahead where I was going through rush. I decided last minute kind of. I was a sophomore and just threw some activities down on the paper they gave us. I had my senior pic that was two and a half years old. I didn't know anything about anything about rush and all. Well, I have to go... good luck!
------------------ "...and love her for her womanhood." |
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The most important thing that will help you in rush is an open mind. Don't like a chapter just because you HEARD they were good. Go with the group that you feel the most comfortable with, girls you see yourself being friends with. If you get a bid from a chapter you kinda don't want, go to the bid day party anyhow. You may end up loving it, and if not, then you don't have to accept the bid. ****But remember this!!! - A lot of girls that are rushing you may be experiencing rush from the "rush-er" point of view for the first time. They are just as excited, nervous, worried as you!!! While you're thinking "Am I cool/pretty/fun/talkative/involved enough to get a bid?" the sisters are thinking "re we showing how fun/close/loving/involved/cool our sisterhood is? Can we make numbers and still get quality girls? Do the decorations look good or cheesy? Are our songs cute? etc etc etc" As long as you know that a lot of sisters are just as nervous as the rushees, it should take some pressure off you.
Good luck girls! I want to know how everything goes! ------------------ "Seek the noblest." Zeta Love! <3 |
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There has been some talk of starting a new NPC group at LSU, and I hear panhellenic has voted to expand. However, things are VERY VERY resistant to change here. Over the years, we have had 21 of the 26 NPC groups at LSU. Some refuse to ever return. Many are wary of coming back, or coming for the first time because of our housing situation. All 10 of our sororities have mansions along sorority row. A house for a new chapter would run in the millions. Unfortunately, here, a lot of girls make choices on the house. An unhoused chapter is at a MAJOR disadvantage. CRMSNTiDEGRL717: I hope you (and all the other rushees) here don't go through what I did. My best advice is to stick it out, go to bid day, don't just up and quit. I seriously regret dropping rush when I did - because of it, I'll never get to be in a sorority in college http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif |
i am posting this story in honor of my best friend. as you can see i am a phi sigma sigma. well my best friend does not attend my school but at towson u. there is a phi sig chapter there. she went through informal rush and decided she loved them! unfortunately they never called her back... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif
she was devestated at first and hated all sororities...including me, her best friend. but everything worked out and even though she is not in greek life she is mre than happy. so this goes to show, and this is coming from someone in a sorority, that being a sister is not the be all and the end all of college. i love my sisters to death but....there is life outside of greek life!!! But anyways...best of luck to all of you who are rushing!!! I am sure that you will all get bids from the houses that you will fit best with...remember that it is important to feel at home with the sorority, don't want them because they are rich, popular and beautiful...you may find yourself to be very unhappy... |
The Rush Process Really Works! I was asked back to all 5 of our chapters after the first night of Rush. After the second set of parties, I was not asked back to my two favorite chapters, but looking back, those are the houses that you hear everyone talking about. I wasn't asked back to those houses for a reason, and I have initiated in the house that best suits me. So, trust the system.
During Recruitment last year, one girl said, the house where you get chills leaving is the house you belong in. Well,she is now one of my sisters! And, remember, for as nervous as you are, the active sisters are just as nervous! Everything will work out for the best. |
No matter what...Go into each house with an open mind...never set your heart on something until you have given every house a fair shot...if you think you finally know where you belong and then do not get a bid from that sorority your life is not over...I believe you should go where you belong..alot of times the girls who are rushing you and give you a bid know that you belong in there house...if don't get a bid from your dream sorority it probably was not meant for you...sometimes the girls know a sister in you before you see it in them...best of luck
------------------ IF I PAID FOR MY FRIENDS, I DID NOT PAY ENOUGH |
I didn't get my first choice either. It was odd because when I went into rush I had my eyes sent on Pi Phi, but after my first day of parties I fell in love with Alpha Chi. For the two parties I went to Alpha Chi hit me as the place where I would fit in. I mean everything clicked! It really stung when I got my Pref Day card and only Pi Phi was on it. But it turns out that I know now that I wouldn't be as happy as an AX. I love the girls to death, but they can't replace my love for my Pi Phi sis's! I believe everything happens for a reason so I know I was meant to be a Pi Phi. I can't say that I wasn't bitter, especially since my best friend is now an AX. It stung, but I got over it. LOL
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The "you'll end up where you belong" thing happened to me too. I did the cutting of houses until it came to pref. For pref I had no say where I was going due to be cut from houses' lists. I was pretty upset, not because my favorite cut me (I didn't have a fav), but because I left the night before feeling confident that I would have to decide who I liked best. We go to 4 skits then 2 prefs the next night. I had fun at all 4 skits & spent all night deciding how I was going to decide who to pref. The next day came & I was shocked that I had been dropped! I almost quit rush right then. My mom convinced me to go to pref night just to see and after a talk with my PX about what happens if you accept a bid then decide to quit I decided to accept Chi-O's bid. I had serious doubts at first, but after PX revealing I perked up. My PX was XO too! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif A few weeks later My Hooter Tutor (person in your major)was Homecoming Queen! I took a few weeks, but I have so much love for Chi O and my sisters now. My mom is still amazed that I could go from being so upset to so dedicated and happy. You'll end up in te right place, don't worry. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
Heidi |
I totally didn't get into the one and only house I wanted last year. It wasn't even a matter of another house being better for me, because my school is super anti-Greek and thus there is only one sorority that has any kind of roots or national ties or anything. But I'm trying again this coming year, because I can't think of one reason why I shouldn't get in this time. On a sort of related note, my college app process went the same way. I didn't get accepted to my number one school, and I was planning on appealing. I know I could have gotten in with an appeal, but I decided to visit the schools I got into and see how things went. I also visited my supposed dream school, and realized I would have hated it there! So I'm pretty sure things work out for a reason. This being said, if anyone cares to offer some words of encouragement, I'm scared to death of not getting accepted this year!
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Well, there are only two sororities on my campus but i know i got the right one too. A friend who was DZ suggested i rush after transfering to the college in my hometown. We usually just have informal rush (and any formal effort is really relaxed too) During club days i only found phi sig, but the girls suggested I go to DZ as well. I meant to, but being new, i got lost and couldn't find their info party. So i only got to see phi sig, and I'm glad i found them. Last year I served as our chapter's archon.
And to think before, I didn't even know sororities existed in Canada! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif ------------------ Delta Epsilon - Phi Sigma Sigma |
My roommate from sophomore year went through rush and she was dead set on being a Theta. It was Theta this, Theta that and tons of girls from her hometown were Thetas. Pref day finally came ans she got Theta, Phi Mu, and DZ. She even drew little kites on the dry erase board on the inside of our dorm room. She couldn't wait for bid day..she just knew she would be a Theta. From the very beginning she wasn't crazy about Phi Mu but I bet you can guess what happened....she became a Phi Mu. And as it turns out she has never regretted it and realizes that she was looking at the wrong things from Theta never would have been at home anywhere besides Phi Mu. Besides that...as a result of meeting so many of her friends I became a Phi Mu too http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
So it was a happy ending on 2 sides because I never would have expected that I would ever become greek..and I wouldn't trade it for anything else http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif |
bump!
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Hiya
There was this girl, I'm surprised I forgot her name she was a sophmore when I was a freshmen. She went to formal rush, she didn't get a bid from the sorority she wanted. So she tried the next time around *The time I went* and, again, she didn't get a bid from the sorority she wanted *My sorority* Third times a charm. She came back after I got initiated, and we didn't give her a bid again. The reason? She tried too hard.
The first time around she acted like herself, but we didn't feel she fit in with us *can't blame her* the second time she went in with a different head on her shoulders and was more easy going. She didn't get a bid again, because my sisters didn't think she could handle pledging. The third time came around and she didn't get a bid because she wasn't herself. She was a different person all together, and acted like the girl that she "thought" we wanted. The moral of the story? Be yourself. Don't kiss up to any sisters of the sorority you want to be in. Down the line, the real you is going to show through and they don't want a sister that is fake. Just be yourself, smile, and have a good time. I was petrified that I wasn't going to get a bid. It doesn't always work out for everybody. So, just pick the sorority/fraternity you feel at home with and the sisters that you could really get along with. Believe me, chances are the sisters are feeling the same way you do. Good luck! :) |
Two of my sisters didn't get their first choice. I am so glad they came to bid day. They both turned out to be great sisters even tho we weren't their first choice (one even became the VP). After the first week, they never looked back! Even if you don't get your first choice, give bid day a chance. You might be suprised at how much you like the sisters and the other new members. People are going to make you feel welcome! The other thing to keep in mind is that sisterhood is what you make of it. You can go to any chapter and find a niche! Sororities are filled with wonderful women with a variety of interests! There are going to be lots of ways for you to be involved and to have a great time. Have fun at rush and best of luck to you!
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The sorority you "see" during recruitment isn't always the sorority as it really is. They are trying to make an impression the same as PNMs. When you turn in an interest sheet, perhaps you listed "soccer". So, in an effort to make easy conversation ABC pairs you with Miss All American Soccer Queen when you had a miserable year, torn ligaments, ball hogs and parents who pushed you into the sport. You could easily walk away with the wrong impression of the sorority. Two girls over was the active who loved going to plays and hanging out in a casual atmosphere, JUST LIKE YOU...but you never had the chance to meet her.
I honestly think some reps hold truth, but don't make the mistake of lumping all the women together because of some chance pairing. Give them the same chance you would have them give you. No matter how many WONDERFUL PNMs go through recruitment, there are only so many openings available. In house legacies, legacies, the close friends of several active members are initially the highest on the dream list. In many cases, this doesn't leave a lot of room. (In a competative rush) Not everyone can be an ABC or XYZ...there simply isn't room even though in your heart you think/know you would make a PERFECT XYZ. If you keep an open mind, you may realize you ALSO make a "perfect" EFG! |
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