I Can't Wait To Move Out
 

arg!!! my dad is driving me absolutely nuts!!! i know he's not making me angry on purpose (or maybe he is?), but i am angered...he's selling my car because i dont have a job, yet wont let me use my car so i can look for one... he wont pay for me to go back to school (i took this semester off and he says i have to "Prove to him" that i want to go back by going to a local crappy school for a year to get credits that wont even transfer)... what else..ah yes, my bedroom is in the basement.. he never even goes doewn there.. and he left me a not the other day on my door stating the new rules and regulations of the house...i.e., my room WILL be cleaned on a weekly basis...my bathroom WILLL be scrubbed on a weekly basis...my laundry (yes, MY laundry) WILL be done on a semi daily basis..SCREW HIM!!!! not to mention the fact that when he listens to his fleetwood mac and his santana and jimmy buffet, he plays it till my head is ringing...but when i play anything about an indoor voice volume, i have to turn it down.. not that he can hear it over the TV HE'S ALWAYS BLARING.. arg!! and i said something a few weeks ago to the effect of 'when im gone in like six months..' and hes like 'oh, it WILL be sooner than that'.. and i do have a couple places id like to move to, that i could get a job at..that are only like 5 hours away AT THE VERY MOST and he wont let me drive down there to look for a job... screw him AGAIN!!! actually.. he just came in here to tell me that when i scrubbed the bathroom today, i 'got a good start on it, but need to finish it' because the mirror isnt up to his standards and neither is the side of the shower. screw him..sorry had to vent

EDITED TO ADD: my bad, he also turned my cell phone off.. why?? because i owed him money.. no big deal...but he wouldnt tell me how much i owe him, so i couldnt give him any cuz i didnt know how much to give him. PUNK A$$!!

and he just came in here to tell me to feed the dog, WHICH I HAD THOUGHT HE ALREADY DID... and he was lke 'didnt you feed her two hours ago when shes SUPPOSED to eat??' (like the dog knows it was 5pm two hours ago :mad: )..and i was like 'no, i thought you or cathy did' and hes like 'well we didnt, so would you please do it...AND DO IT NOW??' i wouldnt have a problem with this scenerio if he'd just ask me to do it.. not ask me to do it and add the AND DO IT NOW...so i was like 'maybe'.. so what does he do? goes right outside the door where the dog is and says 'im sorry courtnee, you dont get fed toingith...well MAYBE youll get food...if youre lucky, if ur sissy wants to feed you' and kept going till i told him to shut it... how frustrating! :mad: :mad:

Okay.

Well in my opinion, you are really coming off as spoiled on your post. You live in your father's house, meaning you have to live by his rules. The cleaning part really doesn't seem that horrendous. Nor does feeding the dog on time.

Most parents are anal about music. Not too much to stress about there, just get some headphones.

As far as your car, yeah that does suck, but have you ever thought of taking the bus?

My thoughts are...if you are not getting good grades and do not have a job then he has a right to want you to prove yourself. That is parental concern. How old are you anyway?

There is no such thing as a free ride, unfortunately. There is always a price to be paid, and the price for you is to abide by your father's rules. I suggest that you make life as easy for yourself as possible by obeying his rules. Do what he requires without him asking or telling you. Extend yourself to accomodate him. That way you can avoid any confrontation with him and earn his respect by demonstrating that you are a mature adult worthy of his trust. I hope my advice helps. :)

This is GREAT advice!!

You read my mind. I know because I had similar fights with my parents at your age. They, my Dad in particular, was applying some tough love until I got my act together. It's taken several years and a great deal more maturity to realize that he did know what was good for me and was doing what any parent would do when faced with an underachieving, mis-directed child.
Maybe your situation is different, I don't know. But that is how it sounds.
I still think that regardless of the specifics, he's asking you to demostrate something here and the only way through this is to step up to the challenge. Good luck to you.

I think both of our daughters would have said that they couldn't wait to move out -- although not with the acrimony you describe. I think it's a right of passage.

On the other hand, when they understood that car payments, insurance, rent, food and other necessities have to be paid on time, and that money doesn't stretch as far as they thought, then they couldn't wait to move back in.

Both are now married and doing fairly well, but they both better understand the responsibilities you must face in life. That comes with maturity.

I know that some of you were insinuating immaturity, lack of responsibility, and a misunderstanding of parental reasoning. Might I start by saying that I still have yet to grow up and understand that...BUT my father is 55 years old, So riddle me this: How is it right to do soemthing like turn my cell phone off without even so much as ASKING me for money? It's not that I don't have the money, because at that point I did. He simply didn't tell me. And when I did finally ask him (I didn't even know to ask him until I found my number disconnected), he wouldn't tell me what I owe him. In my book, that is a tad ... Immature, for lack of a better word.

Let me elaborate on the job situation a bit. When I said I didn't have a job, I didn't mean I've been poking around my dad's house being a bum. I mean that I'm not qualified for 90% of the jobs he wants me to get, and have been made aware that a part-time job "isn't going to cut it because it's not good enough". So how is a 19 year old with no major experience to speak of and only a high school diploma going to get a job at the number one orthopedic company in the world??

I'm not saying I EXPECT him to pay for my schooling. My point was simply that he doesn't think before he dictates. I came home from the college I was at because I didn't want to be there to begin with. Who wanted me to go there?? Him. So I did it to make him happy, because his happiness is what I had lived for for the previous 17 years of my life. A lot of him wanting me to go to the local school is to get credits that I can then transfer to a university of my choice after "proving myself". In his mind he doesn't understand that THEY DON'T TRANSFER. He has a girlfriend that went to the same school that he's suggesting for TWO YEARS...how many of her gen. ed. credits transferred?? She said MAYBE 6. Maybe I'm an idiot, but I don't see the point in paying for two years of schooling that will essentially go down the drain.

As for my room... The house is always spotless, thanks to my dad's girlfriend. Of course she doesn't clean my room. My dad doesn't clean jack $h*t himself, so I don't see why it bothers him so much when my 15 x 15 foot area of living space has a few clothes on the floor. As for 'my' bathroom - - I don't even use it, nor does anyone else.. The only reason it's 'mine' is because it's downstairs next to my room. Screw cleaning a bathroom once a week that NO ONE EVER USES. I could see dusting or something, but he wants it full out scrubbed, rubbed, cleaned, sanatized, and shining.

So I'm sorry to all the elders out there that found my post to be spoiled or what not, I wrote it in anger. While I stand by my reasons, I'd also like to say that I'd appreciate my maturity level to be reconsidered. Considering some of the things I've been through, you'd be surprised that I have an ounce of 19-year-old-ness in my body.

On a lighter note, I watched two movies in the last two nights (both with my dad, ironicly enough). Movie number one: A Beautiful Mind... If you haven't seen this, RUN to your nearest video place AND BUY IT. Words cannot describe it, so I'm not even going to try. Movie number two: Best In Show... Whoever had the wonderful idea of making a movie about a dog show was out of their noggin. It was meant to be one of those stupid-funny movies, but it really wasn't that funny. Anyhow, point being - - GO SEE A BEAUTIFUL MIND, ASAP!!

Welp, I have to go ... um...clean something, I'm sure. Hehe.

Greek Love,
1260

The bottom line is if you find his rules unreasonable then move out. Being that you are legally an adult, you have every right to pack up and leave. Go to the university of your choice and look at EVERY SINGLE scholarship and grant that is available to you. Live on campus. Get a part time job. AS A LAST RESORT you can get loans to pay for this. Trust me, it can be done.

BUT...if you choose to stay at home you have to follow his rules. Period.

Librasoul, I understand... I really do. I guess the main point I'm trying to make is that he doesnt understand what he's trying to do ot me... He wants/expects more out of me than he's ever going to get... Not in a 'I have the potential but not the motivation" kind of way, but more of a a"with your stipulations, there is no way this will be to your liking" kind of way. I don't have problems with most of his rules, it is his house, I only have problems with his "rulings" when he thinks he's God.

1260

you still sound spoiled
 

even after you've come back and made excuses, i mean explained yourself :rolleyes:, the fact of the matter still is that you're living in your Dad's house and while you're there you need to abide by his rules. You made the decision to leave school & go back home. Seems to me if things were all that bad, you would already have a job, regardless if your Dad approved of it, and you'd be on your own paying your OWN rent in your OWN space.

Be lucky that he's just asking you to do a few minor chores instead of charging you part of the mortgage & utilities.

You're right 12dn, it's all a bunch of excuses. I guess it was my bad for wanting to vent to people that I thought might do something other than make me feel worse. And to all of you who say 'why don't you move out?', how do you know I'm not?? How do you know I'm not going to Indianapolis on Weds?? And Muncie on Friday?? And cincinatti on Sunday?? And Covington on Tuesday? All to look for ANY kind of job so that I can leave. Ya know, I'd actually rather he charged me rent or utilities.. then maybe he'd figure out how to treat me like the adult you are all telling me I am instead of the three year old he wants to keep locked up in her crib...

1260

Thanks, librasoul. :D

DigitalAngel126, I've seen this type of situation up close so really try to take my advice. I think that you and your father and maybe even his girlfriend should sit down and discuss how you can all live together peacefully without infringing on each other's space too much. It is so difficult returning home after experiencing all of the freedom of college. You are not a child, but it seems that you think that he still sees and treats you as one. That would drive any young adult crazy. Sit down, discuss the living arrangements, and clarify what your expectations are as well as his/theirs. You might be surprised how similar they are. Try to leave the anger out of the conversation. I hope that you can find a common ground and live together happily. Wishing you the best. :)

DigitalAngel,

If the problems are that bad, you can be legally emancipated. This means your dad no longer can write you off on his taxes, but you can receive student loans and such that make it easier for you to live on your own (this is really oversimplifying it but the details are beyond me at quarter till midnight).

You might try having your advisor at your old school call him and tell him that if he insists on sending you there, he's basically throwing money down the hole because you and the school are not a good fit for each other. That advisor will probably also be able to advise him that comm coll credits do not always transfer.

While I definitely do _not_ disagree with what the other posters have mentioned about living by your father's rules while in his house, I do sympathize if your relationship with him is strained for reasons that you perhaps are not mentioned... Maybe I'm looking too deep into this, but perhaps there are underlying issues that are only been represented as money conflicts, etc.

Best of luck to you, Angel, regardless.

XOXO,
Annie.

Cream - - Major, MAJOR props to you for trying to help out instead of telling my more of my own problems and bad qualities. Your advice doesn't fall on deaf ears, I try to do all of that all the time.. It has about a 50% success rate. As for his girlfriend, she has nothing to do with living peacefully in our house - - In fact, most of the time she see's things my way and tries to help my pull my dad down off of his pedestal. :)

Thanks Annie!!

1260

Awww, Shine, my sympathy goes out to you and your family.

XOXO,
Annie.

Thank you, darlin. :)

Not sure how Shine got involved in this, but okay.

Digital, if I had known that you were starting this thread simply to get some sympathy I would have refrained from posting altogether. However, thinking that you wanted HONEST opinions that is what I gave you.

I think that Cream HAS given some really great advice, and been very tactful about it. However, she is saying essentially the same thing that myself and others are, she just has a much better way with words.

You cannot admonish us for not knowing things that you haven't posted (i.e. certain details about your father's tendencies or your travel arrangements). We can only go on what we read in your posts.

I just think that if you spent less time thinking about how bad you have it and more time working to improve it, you would feel much better.

How very Dr. Phil of me, lol.

Digital Angel,
I don't think you came off as spoiled at all in your post. Frustrated? Yes. Spoiled? No. Believe me, I know spoiled! One of my roommates last year was totally spoiled, and you seem far from it! My best friend is living with her Dad this year, and believe me, he is HARD to live with! So I see your need to vent. Good luck living with your Dad, and I hope things go better on the school/job front for you!

Hey...

libra - - off the subject, but I just checked your profile and you have the same birthday as one of my good friends - - rock on!

Anyhow...I'm tired of sticking up for myself here, it's obviously not doing any good. Again, all I wanted to do was vent and now that I have, I feel better. For anyone who may be interested, I am going to Indianapolis tomorrow for an interview...

Tanks phimu!!

1260

#1. You really are coming off like a spoiled teenager.

#2. You should feel blessed that you even have a father in your life that is loving and supporting you.

#3. Live your life. If you don't like your dad's rules, then move out and support yourself. As long as he is helping you in any way, you have NO RIGHT to expect anything.

#4. You should think twice before insinuating anything about wishing him dead (or killing him), joking or not. My dad has been dead a year this Friday, and I would give ANYTHING to have him back in my life.

Yours,
Shine

Do you all not remember being 19?!

Let he who paid every cent of their college education and greek dues themselves cast the first stone.

She's frustrated and looking for comfort or some positive advice. Some of you are helping. Some of you are exacerbating the situation.

If any of you posting about her "lack of maturity" had their parents pay for most of their tuition, helped with car insurance, health insurance, rent, etc, then get off your high horses. Lord, where is the sympathy that you all used to have. The kindess that drew young posters in? I am in shock.

Everyone must face reality, but let's show some humanity and basic tact.

DigitalAngel, check your PM's, kid.:)

I agree, pbpck! Who on here has never needed to complain about something? Heck, people complain about insignificant stuff every day, but I don't think this situation is insignificant at all. Yes, OK, when you live at home you have to respect your parents' rules BUT it sounds like her father is being unnecessarily difficult. I come from a home where my parents are strict compared to my peers' parents, but even my parents were nowhere near this unreasonable! Seriously. Quite frankly, it sounds like her father is not a happy person and needs someone to pick on, hence the way he makes demands but removes the means for them to be met. We're not talking about a case of "I wanna stay out 'til 5 am but my dad says I have to be home by midnight!" here--this is a little more serious.

I am in shock too. Do you really think no one in here had to actually WORK for what they have?

At 19, I had a full time job that paid for my rent, utilities, car insurance, ALL other bills, and scholarships/loans that paid for my full-time class load. Perhaps that is the reason I took the stance that I did. From my experience, you CAN be financially independent of your parents at age 19. That is why I have little tolerance for people who have never tried to wean themselves from their parents, yet complain about their current situation. I also have grown up on a strict regimen of "tough love" (i.e. learn life's lessons the hard way...on your own), which is why I am a bit harder than some other posters. I do not apologize for my attitude, but I have apologized to Digital for coming off as cold and insensitive.

I have to agree.

No matter the intent, the original post sounded bad. I paid most of my way through college. Once I moved out, I never went back.

I've been lucky enough to be able to pay for our kids schooling -- thanks to some nice scholarships.

I've also had kids come home to stay after being away at school or out on their own. They had to follow some rules -- some of which didn't sit well with them.

They tell me now that they look back with gratitude -- which makes us feel good.

It wasn't always easy at the time, though.

Alright.

I am not condoning the entitlement mentality of today’s youth, a mentality I once possessed. But I do advocate love and an implicit trust factor in the parent child relation. In life, a child is reared to believe that the parents are the ever present allies. The figures that will support and love him/her endlessly. Now, if mutual respect and love is practiced, I believe that a child will respect the parents enough to help out with the financial burdens in life as they move from teenager to young adult.

I often see this situation as one in which the parents are to blame as well. We are all human and have flaws and I believe that if a child is simply cut off financially with no warning it is out of subconscious irritation of the parent, a “that’ll show my child how rough life really is without me!” idea. For this we use the euphemism “tough love.” This idea causes such strain in relationships. I have been there myself.

Now on the other hand, if you raise your child to expect to be “emancipated” at 18, then they are prepared. If this mentality is consistently implemented in the 18 years of rearing a child, the idea of independence, then I can not criticize this parenting method. Pardon my conjecture, but this sounds like the manner in which you were raised, Libra soul.

I Pmed DigitalAngel and she went to college for her father, he wanted her too. She was unhappy in general and it was reflected in her grades. She was pulled out of school and is being treated like she is 13 again, if not worse. She doesn’t have a soft mother figure any longer for whatever reason to comfort her. I believe this calls for sympathy.

More than anything, mutual respect and mature communication with parents are INCREDIBLY important factors during this awkward transition stage in one’s life. I think DigitalAngel is not looking for endless financial support, but respect from her father. That is something we all deserve no matter WHAT the situation. With that respect, comes love and understandment and when her father does eventually pass on, he will be remembered fondly as should any loving parent. So Shine, I am sure she doesn’t wish her father dead, but is just frustrated. I am sorry for your loss, but your level of grievance shows that you had a loving relationship with your father. I think that is all DigitalAngel needs. This all goes way beyond such the simplistic financial aspect!

LibraSoul, I am still shocked.

AchtungBaby-Thank you, I fully agree with you as well!

I have to agree with Delt Alum, the first post did come off as ungrateful and sorry but............. lazy.

Everyone started posting and there wasn't much I could have said that was different. Even the parts that said the responses were harsh, because as someone requested-remember being 19 and your struggle for freedom.

I think at that age eveyone HATES or should, taking money from their parents. Do you pay for food, rent, utilities, phone, ANYTHING? There's a whole lot of information here like the REAL why's behind way too many questions to go into. I will agree the best thing you can do is sit down with your father (and don't be so sure the girlfriend is backing you 100%) and have that heart-to-heart you SHOULD have had when you were a Senior in HS. Like good, old Dear Abby said-pick neutral ground where you can be relaxed and no one will YELL! You father may think you should KNOW what you're doing wrong without having to tell you (because he's TOLD you a million times) and if he's thrown a lot of "threats" around before, maybe you are a little shocked because he finally followed through. Sometimes people DO need a brick wall to fall on them.


edited -pbpck-you posted as Iwas writing. I would wonder what being treated like a "13 yr old" if not worse entails. We all can paint pictures that are slightly worse than they really are. On the other hand, a 13 year old has prettystrict rules. Then, so do most children who live at home. The real hard part is going from total freedom ie, college, backto "rules' even if they are a simple as a Midnight curfew. AND cell phones aren't cheap and kids often run over their minutes...

I think I am more concerned with the general idea being conveyed through these posts rather than the direct issue, since as JAM posted, there are too many details to which we are not privy at this time regarding DigitalAngel‘s situation.

I do not mean to be argumentative, but honestly I just felt DigitalAngel needed some helpful advice not even more criticism that everyone was so eager to dole out.

I have worked 40 hour weeks, took a full load of classes, was active in my chapter and volunteered through out the community. I paid my sorority dues, rent, tuition, utilities, and book fees. I took the bus. I would love to say I find solidarity with all of you who state that you too have “put yourself through college.” But I feel I have sympathy who are facing the “reality” of the world very rapidly with some family crisis serving as the catalyst. I don’t feel the need to degrade someone for not being as capable and strong as infallible me. :rolleyes:. It’s very difficult to find the strength to do this. DigitalAngel is facing a lot right now. None of us know where she is coming from. I highly doubt she posted to be attacked. So let’s keep to the “good-old” ideas and call upon the “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all” rule. What good does it do anyone to tell this poster that she is selfish and spoiled. We are all spoiled to be living in this country, to be given the freedoms we are. I am sure we take that for granted as we complain about rush hour traffic daily.

I am just asking you all to be a bit sympathetic and at least have some tact when posting. If you would like to give the “parent” side, then give advice. If you choose to give her the “harsh reality” and belittle her, then I have lost a lot of faith in some of the posters on this board.

When someone posts about their dog dying, no one posts “well, my grandma died yesterday, get over yourself!” She is 19 and going through a lot of emotions.

Thanks, librasoul. :D You have great advice, too.

I've seen a few of these types of situations up close. I have found first comes sympathy/empathy and second comes advice. It's really difficult to make decisions when it seems like no one is on your side. Family problems are always the toughest to deal with.

DigitalAngel, I hope that everything works out for you. :) Good luck with the interview!

Well, as for my perspective.

I am 19 as well. I turn 20 next month. No, I am NOT fully self-sufficient. My loans pay my tuition, and I pay for food and books, but my mom pays my rent.

As someone in a similar situation to DA, I feel that she has no right to have such high expectations of her father. He is obviously letting her live with him and helping her out.

I don't know if it was the perspective I gained after my father's death, but I appreciate ANYTHING my mother gives me. Even a simple dollar. My mom shut off my cell phone last year. She was paying for it, so she had every right to.

I still stand firm that if your parents support you AT ALL, you should appreciate that, because they don't have to.

I know many people my age who's parents kicked them out at 18 and expected them to support for themselves. Parents have EVERY right to do that, so if they support you AT ALL, you should be greatful.

Shine -- #1. You don't know me. I'm sorry if I came off spoiled and if it offended you. Spoiled is a relative term, so I'm not even going to try to argue that...
#2. You have no idea how blessed I feel that I am. I'm sorry that you lost your father, but I have a hard time believing that when he was around you never got aggravated with him or found him to be unreasonable at times. My inital thread was a vent, not "I hate my dad forever and ever AMEN". I live for my dad...Regardless of what it sounds like, I do everything he asks me to do, within my abilities/power. My dad's happiness is mine.
#3. I do have a right to expect something. I have the right to expect that if he's going to financially treat me like an adult, that he emotionally, mentally, and parentally treat me like an adult as well.
#4. Like I said before, I AM SORRY that you lost your father. I would be lost without mine, he is my heart and my soul. And most of the time my best friend. To set the record absolutely straight, there is no one on this planet that I would wish death on in an capacity.


Librasoul - Thanks for the PM, by the way. Anyhow, I do know that it is possible to be financially independant at the age of 19, I'm not disputing that. I never said that I depended on him for money or even expected it.. All I said about finances is 1, the cell phone thing - - WHICH I had money for, he just simply chose not to tell me I owed him anything until after he had it turned off. I ask you this also: If it's so important to him that he practices "Tough Love", why isn't he doing it? To me it seems a little silly to have MY cell phone under HIS name... Because no matter how much I go over, he still pays it so it doesn't affect his credit.. THEN he asks me for it. Why does he not just drop me? It's not a contract (he has it in with one of the managers, so she didn't make us sign a year long contract or anything). That would make more sense to me..."Maybe then I'd learn".


DeltAlum - Again, I'm sorry that the original post came off so bad, like I said - - I was venting. I'm not trying to cover my butt by saying 'you guys don't know the whole story', but it really is simply too much to get into. So I ask that any/all of you (not just DeltAlum) that wants to criticize or attack me for any certain reason, feel free to ask me to elaborate on a background.. On what started, why this or why that...Back to DeltAlum.. I understand what you meant by they treat you with graditude, for I already feel that way towards my dad. I've made some undesirable choices in life, as has he. I understand most of what he's doing to/for me, just not the dictorial (is that a word?) things.


justamom - As I stated previously, I don't take money from my parents. In fact I make it a point not to. I know what it's like to owe them money... It's not a good thing...Also as I have said, I do try to reason with him...But he's the kind of person that hears but doesn't listen...Which leads to him yelling at me beacause he's right and me yelling back because...well because he was yelling at me.


I'm sorry this turned into such a novel...And if anyone has any questions about anything else I may or may not have gone into and you don't feel like posting it here, feel free to PM me...

Yes, parents do have every right to kick their child out the minute s/he turns 18, but that doesn't mean they have to do it! My parents don't agree with that philosophy, and neither do those of most of the people I know. I'm sorry for the children of those who do, but I still don't think DA's father is being reasonable.

Okay if you want to focus on the cell phone, are you not aware of the minutes allotted on your billing plan? I am almost positive you know when you have gone over in minutes. I am also almost positive that you know when the billing cycle is over. If you had the money you could have offered it to him when your cycle was up. Why wait for him to ask for it, then get upset when he disconnects your phone? This makes little sense to me. If it is silly to have the cell phone in his name, why not ASK him to drop you, then start up service under your own name?

I guess the problem I am having has nothing to do with you not being independent. It's that you seem to absolve yourself of all responsibility. Not once in this thread have you taken responsibility for any of your situations. That is what I have the issue with. I hate that it-is-never-my-fault mentality. I am not saying that you have that mentality as a general rule BUT FROM WHAT I CAN GATHER IN THIS THREAD, in the situations that you have presented, it seeps through.

HYPOCRACY AT IT'S BEST! I am trying to hold back, but honestly, you have little right to criticize DA's unhappiness. You pay for food and books?! Pretty sure that most students pay that and for more.

Now my parents are well to do, but I cleaned my account out each month to cover rent. I was living off just bread for quite some time because I had to pay my utilites. I was working overtime and I still had to check my books out of reserve because I couldn't afford to buy them. But I didn't complain. I started being grateful for the ability to go to college period and other greater things. I don't want elicit any sympathy. I have a charmed life. I do. And I realize it. My parents saw how hard I worked and are helping me out tremendously now.

I am just incredibly awestruck that you have the AUDACITY to criticize DA. She will appreciate things in due time. But you really ought to have a LOT more sympathy. Seems like you and your mother are a team. I believe that is what DA is searching for. For her father to be her partner not her adversary. She could just as easily argue that she doesn't have a mother figure anymore while you do.

Compassion, that's all I am requesting. Human compassion. Everyone is so quick to judge and slow to love now a days.

Honestly?? No, I'm not aware of the minutes allotted on my billing plan because some months I get free minutes from friends. And regardless of that (I never count on that because it's VERY sporadic), my dad lied to me first off about how many minutes I had, thinking I'd go over. Well I saw my bill and saw how many minutes I actually DID have, so that's how many I used. Also, he changed my plan for me to get free incoming calls.. And he told me thats what I had - - FREE INCOMING CALLS, no matter where I am. So whenever I recieved a call, I talked until my heart was content...Only after he got the bill did he tell me that I couldn't roam. So yeah, I guess thats more excuses, but to single the phone out..

Think what you want, but it may seem that I absolve my responsibility because I've only presented you with the situations that I've chosen. The reason I've chosen those to gripe about is because I don't feel they're my fault... If I wanted to talk about what was my fault, I'd talk about the debt I'm in BECAUSE OF ME.. Or the fact that I CAME HOME from school, not got pulled out or kicked out...Or I'd talk about my parents divorce, because it was more or less my fault (in a way...I'm not BLAMING myself, but it was because of my existence that they started having the major problems)....Or I'd talk about a number of other things that ARE my fault...



Since no one seems to care enough to pay attention, let me clarify one more time: I don't EXPECT anything from my dad other than his love and moral support, and perhaps agreement on things that I feel are unjust. I'd like to expect that he'd pick his fights and not call me out on every single one of my little flaws. I'd like to expect that if he wants me to ACT like an adult, it'd help if he treated me like one. I love him more than anything in the world and I understand most of his reasoning - - when it is within reason. None of this is really that big of a deal, I WAS JUST VENTING BECAUSE I WAS UNHAPPY.... :(

Oh my little Digital....I was wondering how you were doing and then I discovered this thread. I'm sorry about the problems you and your dad are having. I don't know what to suggest to make the situation better. I hope you both can find some reasonable balance to the situation. I'm sure there are lots of underlying emotions from your parents divorce that have caused this riff in your relationship. I don't think you're spoiled, I would be a hypocrite if I thought so. I hope the job interviewing goes well. If you need to vent you can always PM or e-mail me.

I think what was meant to be a thread to vent about a problem has totally gotten out of hand. Haven't we all had bad days? Haven't we all had fights with our parents about independence/financial matters/life in general? Just because DA vented about her and her Dad's fight doesn't mean that she isn't grateful for all he does for her. And her situation isn't exactly like anyone elses's, so I really don't think it's fair to read into every single word and anaylze her actions and try to read into her thoughts. I really don't think it's too nice to jump all over her and label her "spoiled" and "ungrateful" because I don't think anyone knows her well enough from her posts to make those assumptions.
What's said in the heat of a moment does not define a person's character!

Amen sista-friend!

I agree, PhiMuGirlie!

Shine and librasoul, I take it that your absence of response displays your admission that you were wrong, hypocritical and rude.

I kind of have the same issue w/ my father. It seems that your issue is deeper than "I'm sick of dad treating me like a 13 y.o." kind of thing. I sense that you are more upset about him not giving you EMOTIONAL support more than financial or any other kind of support. I know what you are going through.

I think the majority of the people who posted on this thread COMPLETELY missed her point.

And, about this belief of anyone above 18 who does not support themselves is "morally apprehensible" :p is total BS. People mature at different ages. I've known 16 year olds who could pull it off, and 26 year olds who couldn't.