Advice to men..........
 

Ladies, if you had the chance to give a little friendly advice to men, what would it be?


1. Put the toilet seat down !!

2. Do not put your cold feet next me in bed!

3. Rinsing the dishes DOES NOT make them clean!

4. Just because she didn't want to give you her # doesn't mean she's stuck up.

5. It's NOT ok to break wind near me, EVER!

I have so many more but I want to hear from the rest of you!:D

do not ask me what I am doing this weekend if you do not plan to spend it with me. :mad:

do not call me on my birthday and not wish me happy birthday and then get mad at me for hanging up on your krappy azz.

do not invite yourself to my house to spend the night, get a spot on the couch and then try to sleep in my bed. . .get yo azzzzzzz on the couch since you claim you don't wanna be my man.


oh sorry my bad. . .:( :o :p I had to vent.

now this was my rule when I was once on the dating scene. Here goes.1. Don't come over to my apartment empty handed. Hell bring groceries, a bottle of wine, or a blockbuster video. If they didn't do this....I politely did this. http://216.40.241.68/contrib/ed/bluboomteamenforcer.gif.

2. Don't come calling me at 2am saying "what you doing" when I haven't heard from you all day/and or days.

3. Whatever you do in the beginning (good) you had better keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Advice to men..........
 

1. Put the toilet seat down !!

2. Do not put your cold feet next me in bed!

3. Rinsing the dishes DOES NOT make them clean!

4. It's NOT ok to break wind near me, EVER!


AAAAMMMEEENNN, SISTAH!!!!! You are DEFINITELY preaching this!!! My husband does not mind doing any of the things listed above...ESPECIALLY the last one. He just does NOT get it. Now can you just IMAGINE how much of a sudden TURN-OFF it is for me to have the man of my dreams...my soulmate...the father of my children...the love of my life...my other half...let out "farts" that...that...sound VIOLENT? :D :D It's DISGUSTING. But HE thinks that it's hilarious and there's nothing wrong with doing that...while driving MY car...sitting with me on the couch...while sitting with me in the bathtub...or some times even MINUTES before we make love. :eek: :eek: What's THAT all about???? It's gotten to the point where my 3-YEAR-OLD SON some times does the same thing and then INFORMS the room of what he did (WHILE LAUGHING, might I add). Don't laugh yall. I'm trying to stop that little rascal from doing that mess. Anyway, I'm starting to think that it's a "man" thing (in MY house). :) :) I'm just happy to see that I'm not the only one with this advice. Ladies, I just HAD to let my husband read this post. :D :D :D

It is NOT ok to drink from the damn carton of milk/juice !!!!

It is NOT ok to hogg MY remote controll..go home with all that :mad:

If you use it, please please clean/wash it.
:rolleyes:

Its never okay to lie. Honesty will always be the best policy. At least for me. I can't stand a liar.

Evaclear's TOP 10....
 

I think that we all of can agree that our list have been moderately short.... considering who we are dealing with.....:rolleyes: Here's my TOP 10:
1. Do not complain about what I am watching on MY TV.
2.Put the toilet seat down!
*This has to be repeated because they don't listen the first time*
3.Do not breathe a word about my shopping habits.
4.Translation: " I have a headache"=" Leave me alone"
5. If you drop it...pick it up, If you get it dirty...wash, If you moved it...put it back...get the drift?
6. Be on time...not 2,5,10,20 minutes late.
7. Actually scratch #6....BE EARLY!
8. Be prepared for me to change my mind about anything at any point without warning.
9.If i am on the phone with my Ls....expect a minimum 30-40 minute delay on phone use...:D
10. Creativity, spontaneity, tenderness, and compassion…must be apart of your vocabulary.

We cannot read minds!
 

EXPRESS yourself!

:rolleyes:

my name is not Monopoly although my lovin' is BOARDWALK :D


I am not an item on the shelves of Toys R Us or Kay Bee Toys. . .

in other words, I am NOT a game so do not PLAY ME or WITH ME.

Exquizit, you know I could go on and on about men, especially our men and that little hick town they call home!!!!!


1. When you FINALLY get something do not forget who helped you get it.
2. Let go of Mom.
3. If you say you hear the same thing over and over again, then why perform the behavior that caused you to hear it in the first place.
4. If you put a dish in the sink instead of the diswasher or dirty clothes by the hamper, then WHO is supposed to pick them up?
5. Yeah, yeah, yeah its the new millenium but some women don't mind a good material thing now and then!

You just don't KNOW!!!!
 

I Totally agree with numbers 1-5! It's funny how they forget who their backbone was, that their moms stopped breastfeeding long ago, and that their nasty azz habits will NOT be excepted!!:mad:

But I don't want to male bash..:o ;) :cool:
Another bit of advice would be :

1. If you get BUSTED don't belittle the situation and expect it to be swept under the rug.

2. Don't even begin to think that job or opportunity will come knocking at your door.

3. Being a man takes more than just saying "I'm a man!".

y'all mean to tell me that i'm the only woman who drinks out of the milk and juice cartons?

No! I do it too. Shoot, it means less dishes to wash! :cool:

It's ok if WE do it cuz it's OURS, but THEY can't :D

1. Saying I'm sorry will not convince us to take your triflin' @$$ back!
2. Shedding tears will not convince us to take your triflin' @$$ back!

1) Don't lie to me cuz I will only find out and if you feel the need to lie you'd better make sure I CAN'T find out...uhum...so don't go charging anything to that joint checking account I can check (some guys are LAME!)

2) Just because you have won me over don't think that you don't need to continue. Cards, candy, flowers, foot massages are all wonderful surprises us ladies like, and NEED to feel appreciated. (other thoughtful things will do too).

Call more.

Be spontaneous.

Foreplay is a must and not 2 minutes of it either.

Don't act like you are not hurt but then YOU keep bringing up the incident.

DON'T LIE TO ME EEEEEEEEEEVAAAAAAAAAA. If you do, expect to get cussed out. Expect a possible repeat anytime I remember the lie.

DO_NOT.COM
 

DO NOT check your messages at your girl's house...if you leave the code...it is temptin as hell not to call and check on your azz.

DO NOT tell me a bold face lie...opening your eyes wide and saying "OOOOOOHH" does not make you look credible.

DO NOT tell me to ask your brother...NUCCA I ASKED YOU... and I know you are lying!

DO NOT keep callin after I told you I don't want to talk to you...

DO NOT think that if I talk to you, after I told you I didn't want too, that I want you back...Naw nucca I am just bored!

DO NOT "get yours" and then say you owe me "one". NUCCA you betta stay and finish or I will get violent!!

DO NOT ask me what I am cooking and when I tell you (chicken, spaghetti, beef stroganoff, etc.) commence to say "AGAIN"...Boy you asked me what I was cookin, I did not ask you to eat!

DO NOT call me on my cell phone, and ask what time I will be home, or if I have something planned later and when I ask why, you say you are "just asking"

DO NOT call me 5 million times daily just to say "HI", or just to "See what I am doing" when I am mad at you

DO NOT continue lying when you are caught...give it up, turn it loose...it will diffuse my anger a tad!!!

DO NOT tell me you haven't been drinking when your breath smells like Crown mixed with mint, gum, and hot wings!

DO NOT tell me, once I say I can smell the liqour on your breath, tell me you had 'a' beer.

IN ESSENCE>>>>DO NOT approach me, unless you come correct, bruh!

My cousin had a baby the other day and her "boyfriend" and her argue ALL THE TIME...but they started arguing ON THE WAY to the hospital for her scheduled C-section...she told him to leave because she didn't want to look at him...

DO NOT leave the hospital dumbass...leave the room...this triflin' behind, stupid MOFO left the hospital...I don't care what she SAID...she is in there have YOUR baby...you curl your behind up in the waiting room and wait until your child enters the world...you don't go roam the streets!!!

I had to post this...
 

Classes for Men

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF
THEIR CONTENTS, EACH COURSE WILL ACCEPT A MAXIMUM OF 8
PARTICIPANTS.

Topic 1
HOW TO FILL THE ICE CUBE TRAYS. STEP BY STEP, WITH
SLIDE PRESENTATION.

Topic 2
THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION.

Topic 3
IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF
LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND
NEARBY BATHTUB? GROUP PRACTICE.

Topic 4
FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND
THE FLOOR. PICTURES AND EXPLANATORY GRAPHICS.

Topic 5
THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY
LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE KITCHEN SINK? EXAMPLES ON
VIDEO.

Topic 6
LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE TO YOUR
SIGNIFICANT OTHER. HELPLINE SUPPORT AND SUPPORT
GROUPS.

Topic 7
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN
THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE
DOWN WHILE SCREAMING. OPEN FORUM.

Topic 8
HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO
YOUR HEALTH. GRAPHICS AND AUDIO TAPE.

Topic 9
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST. REAL LIFE
TESTIMONIALS.

Topic 10
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE
PARALLEL PARKS? DRIVING SIMULATION.

Topic 11
LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MOTHER AND
WIFE. ONLINE CLASS AND ROLE PLAYING.

Topic 12
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION. RELAXATION
EXERCISES, MEDITATION AND BREATHING TECHNIQUES.

Topic 13
HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS,
ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN
YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE. CEREBRAL SHOCK THERAPY
SESSIONS AND FULL LOBOTOMIES OFFERED.

*UPON COMPLETION OF THE COURSE DIPLOMAS WILL BE ISSUED
TO THE SURVIVORS.

Re: I had to post this...
 

Please tell me where my boyfriend can sign up! :mad:
Thats cute ;)

Don't expect us to hold our breaths waiting for you to fulfill a promise when you fudged a smaller one in the past!

hmmmmm...
 

**Do not complain when I am only do the same things you do.**

hmmmmm...
 

**Do not complain when I am only do the same things you do.**http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/...rachlos023.gif

Re: I had to post this...
 

Oh that sounds a little too freaky to me. :eek: The group practice part is over the top.:o

1. Learn how to cook and cook well.

2. Learn how to eat at places other than fast food.

3. Drink some water, all my man has in his fridge is JUICE.

4. Why ask me what I want to do for the weekend if you don't want to do it with me?

5. When I am fixing your plate and tell you to say when, please say it and not after I look at you funny because there is a mountain of food on your plate.

6. Why is it that you want to be treated like a man, but when it comes down to it, we have to pick up the slack?

7. If you ask ME out to the movies, why do we wind up going dutch?

8. Why is it that you ask me what I want for Christmas if you are gonna buy me what you feel I should have and not what I asked for?

9. Why do you say you need to go on a diet in the midst of eating hot wangs and pizza?




:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Don't look at me with that really intense stare that men sometimes do. That's not sexy!:confused: If you have something to say go ahead and say it don't just stare at me like you are crazy. WTF!

This is from back in my single days:

Don't come around me, call me, ask me out when the woman you REALLY wanted to be with is not available. I am NOBODY'S sloppy seconds!!

Now the one for my married days:

If the Cleaning Fairy hits you, PLEASE LEAVE MY STUFF ALONE!!!! I cannot stand it when you have your cleaning hissy fits and just move all of my stuff around too and I can't find it!! And stop doing it when I'm not home!!!

To the Top
 

Men, if you see an attractive woman walking with some food, candy, juice, fruit, whatever in her hand, DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT ask "can I have a bite?" or "is that for me?" This does not work. If a woman is interested in you, she'll be more interested if you show some respect and class and say something just a little more tasteful like "Excuse me, I think you are very attractive and would like to get to know you better. May I walk and talk with you for a while?"

I swear, sometimes I think that in the 6th grade, they pull all of the boys aside and teach them to do and say a lot of stuff to get women that will never work.

If you see me walking down the street PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT ASK ME WHY I AM NOT SMILIN

FOOL I LIVE IN NEW YORK! WHO DO YOU KNOW IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WHO GOES AROUND THIS CITY SMILIN?

And when I ASK you that question after your DUM ASS QUESTION, DON'T front like YOU go around smilin cause that is NOT cute and makes me doubt your truthfulness OR your sanity.

Wrong Places
 

You ladies must be getting these men from the outhouse. It's call home training and respect for the beautiful women. I see a lot of my brothers are missing it. For all the sorry azz men out there ladies, I apologize. I’m only one MAN.

LOL...this stuff is funny. None of my partners act like this (at least none that I know of). And it's a good thing because they would get straight schooled not only by the woman but by the rest of us as well.

possibly more to come...
 

Most of this comes from ONE ex-boyfriend...

1. Do not come to my house and complain about my food! Especially if you didn't bring any when you came in! If you don't like it, don't eat it (more for me), or TAKE ME OUT TO DINNER!

2. If you knew me for a while before we started our relationship, DO NOT expect me to change!

3. Don't complain about my clothes or my hair unless you are paying for it on a regular basis!

4. If you are living with your momma, do not complain that my apartment doesn't have this or that!!

5. Telling me of all of the similarities between me and your mommy almost everytime I do something is CREEPY!

6. If you have to ask, then I didn't get mine!!

7. When you say we are going to do something together (or that you are going to do something), don't let months go by before it happens.

8. If you don't say 'excuse me' after you fart, don't think I didn't notice...and don't keep doing it!!

9. Check your breath from time to time!

10. Swallowing my face and slobbering all over me is NOT the same as kissing!!

Re: possibly more to come...
 

QUOTABLE OF THE YEAR.